Think that this book could’ve been great for some people but I just found the descriptions of her ED to be too much at times, especially the fact that she gave it a name.

Advanced Reader copy - Enjoyed this book, really opened my eyes and made me seek out other similar books to read.

DNF. I couldn't connect with this book at all and found it really hard to get into. I had high hopes for this, which is a shame.

Unfortunately I didn't finish this book, as I couldn't get into it - nothing against the author or book, just not to my personal taste. Thank you for the opportunity to read it.

This was a pretty depressing book but I really enjoyed it for the most part. I'm glad I read it, even though it broke my heart at times.

I was really, really hoping there wouldn't be a romance between Robin and Hedda, so that part was difficult.

Wow, her mother is a piece though.

Actual: 3.5

This isn’t your typical Young Adult contemporary. This book has very little romance, a main character who cannot conquer all of her problems and there isn’t a magical cure for any problems that arise.

Countless is a heartbreaking perspective on what it is like to live with Anorexia. The main character Hedda has given all control of her life to her Anorexia or Nia as she likes to call it. This book contains no easy solutions to the problems that Hedda faces. There are no bandages to hide her wounds under, instead we see everything Hedda faces as it is, raw and messy.

I really enjoyed reading about Hedda. She is one of the most realistic teenage characters I have read about. Hedda is so determined to get through her pregnancy without damaging her child even with all the troubles that she is facing with her family, friends and keeping Nia under control. The relationship Hedda has with her parents and younger sister is also extremely realistic. They have their issues and argue a lot, these problems aren’t just magically fixed when Hedda tells them she is pregnant.

Countless in my opinion has one of the best and most realistic representation of mental health in young adult fiction. This book covers very hard-hitting topics such as Anorexia and depression. All of these topics are handed incredibly by the author Karen Gregory. It is easy to make mistakes surrounding the topic of mental health but Karen Gregory portrays it very accurately and with the needed sensitivity.

My only issue with this book is that is it a little slow in parts. This meant that my interest in the book dipped occasionally but once I got passed the slower parts I was a big fan of this book.

Despite the sad and heart-breaking nature of this book I did feel hopeful throughout. This helps to balance out the emotional intensity. For such a big set of heavy topics, this book is told in a very relatable way. Countless contains flawed characters, an urban setting, a vicious demon called Nia and no magical problem solving abilities. This is a tough read but it does contain topics that should not be treated lightly.

Overall, this is a powerful, heart-breaking and hopeful story that I won’t be forgetting anytime soon. I highly recommend this to you if you are a fan of YA contemporary books that dead with hard-hitting topics.

Thank you to Karen Gregory, Bloomsbury Publishing and Netgalley for sending me a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

When I’m talking about books that deal with a difficult subject I’m never sure enjoy is the right word to use. Countless was a difficult book to read, but an important one too and I’m going to try to explain why. Firstly the book and the review will talk about eating disorders so if this has the potential to be triggering for you I completely understand if you don’t read any further than this. Also while I won’t go into huge detail about the plot, other than what is clear from the blurb I will be talking about some of my general thoughts on the book, some points along the way and the conclusion, only broad strokes, but again if you don’t want to be spoiled at all don’t read beyond the end of this paragraph, but come back and tell me what you thought once you’ve read it!

Countless is the debut novel from Karen Gregory. It tells the story of Hedda, a young adult who is struggling with an eating disorder and has been in and out of inpatients since she was a young teenager, the story begins with Hedda discovering she’s pregnant and followers her on her journey as she tries to make decisions and live her life.

I won’t talk too much about the story line, but I will warn you Countless will trample over your emotions and spit them out for fun. Countless shows Hedda’s personal experience of her eating disorder, how it affects her everyday life, and the difficulty she faces in balancing her disorder and what she knows her baby needs. Countless also shows how an eating disorder can affect those around them, the strain it can put on relationships through the whole family.

I liked the fact the ending felt realistic, the book covers a relatively short period of time, particularly in relation to how long Hedda has been suffering with the eating disorder. By the end of the story she isn’t miraculously cured but you can see she is making progress and beginning to beat her disorder. It’s not perfect and all rainbows and kittens but it is hopeful.

Would I Recommend?

Yes! I had a friend who suffered with anorexia when I was 12 or 13 and I really wish this book had been around then. I know that no one book can tell the truth as it relates to everyone, each person has their own experiences and their own truth about how the illness affects them, but as a teenager I had no clue about what one of my very best friends was going through, and this would have given at least a little insight into what she was dealing with, and maybe I could have supported her a little more. In a world where more and more people are being diagnosed with eating disorders I think this book is a really important read for all teenagers, and everyone else too!

Sobering read about anorexia but not really my cup of tea.

I really enjoyed this new YA novel. It was a fascinating story, and it seemed to be Own Voices too, from what I could infer from the acknowledgements. I think reading a book where the author has had a similar experience helps to cement the reality of what you're reading. 

Countless is a love story. It's a love story of the boy next door, of the baby in your arms, of your sister, your dad, your mother. Hedda has had some really difficult relationships in her life, and this book really made me well up when she was dealing with relationships she has been trying to mend.

The book is told in four parts: The Thing, Countdown, Count Up and Nia. I felt like parts three and four were the most powerful, but although this was  a debut novel, Gregory's voice was strong throughout the entire book.

Hedda was a great character to narrate, too. She can't always understand what's right in front of her, and although her character development was slow and hidden, it was really rewarding to see how much she grew and changed towards the end of the novel. Throughout the whole thing, she's only 17 going on 18, which is just a year younger than I am now, and that's scary. It's really amazing to read about her as a character.

I liked the involvement of Robin, but towards the later part of his story line, I felt that he was really quite unnecessary; similarly with Hedda's father and Laurel. I think this shows how Hedda has grown up throughout the novel, and she even suggests this herself towards the end. However, the early scenes with Hedda and Robin (aside from later scenes with Hedda, Rose, and her mum, which I won't delve into because ~spoilers~) were probably my favourite.

I'm really happy to see a strong new YA writer coming to the forefront of the young adult scene, and I'm so excited to (hopefully) see Karen Gregory at YALC 2017. She's a very talented writer, and although Countless has only just come out, I am excited to see what she writes next!

*I received this ARC via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review*

When Hedda discovers she is pregnant, she doesn’t believe she could ever look after a baby. The numbers just don’t add up. She is young, and still in the grip of an eating disorder that controls every aspect of how she goes about her daily life. She’s even given her eating disorder a name – Nia. But as the days tick by, Hedda comes to a decision: she and Nia will call a truce, just until the baby is born. 17 weeks, 119 days, 357 meals. She can do it, if she takes it one day at a time …
Heartbreaking and hopeful by turns, Karen Gregory’s debut novel is a story of love, heartache and human resilience. And how the things that matter most can’t be counted. Perfect for fans of Lisa Williamson, Non Pratt and Sarah Crossan.

Rating: 4/5 stars

I did not expect to be as utterly engrossed by this book as I was. It was complicated and incredibly sad and sadly complicatedly relatable for me.
Hedda, the main character, suffers from anorexia, and it was so interesting to read a book that captured a lot of the ugly sides to mental health disorders. Particularly for me, as someone who suffers from depression and anxiety, it hit very close to home when Hedda feared she didn’t know who she was without her disorder, and the way she missed the comfort and reliability of her life when she was suffering from it compared to the weeks when she was somewhat better.
This was a very close and personal perspective of mental illness- we see everything from Hedda’s side, and even though you know she’s hurting herself and other people, sometimes I couldn’t help but identify with her actions. I don’t know whether everyone could say the same, but I definitely saw some of myself in her.

This really isn’t your typical Young Adult novel; Hedda’s health swings wildly and for the vast majority of the book she is close to killing herself through starvation. She also has a child, and this book doesn’t gloss over how physically and emotionally and mentally draining that can be. It also touched on the fact that you can’t rely on other people to save you- you can’t pin all your hopes and faith in a single person because it’s not healthy and that hope and faith has to come from within eventually for it to stick.
Finally, the most unexpected (and very anti-YA) aspect of this book is the friendship Hedda had with her neighbour Robin. In any other book they’d get together and he’d be a substitute dad to Hedda’s daughter and they’d live happily ever after, but very much the opposite occurs (which yes, because I’m YA trash I was sad about, but kudos to the author for going in a different direction).

I stayed up until 2.30am reading this book, god knows why. I couldn’t stop reading and I didn’t want to anyway, and I went to bed completely emotionally drained from this novel’s topic. But it was good. It was real good.

Countless is an incredible book. It's both heart-wrenching and hopeful during the rollercoaster that is Hedda's story. Karen Gregory has written a very real character and story. Both teenage pregnancy and eating disorders are very difficult subjects to write about properly but Gregory has done both amazingly. Countless made me cry, not many books can!

Countless is the story of Hedda, a girl struggling to recover from the grip of an eating disorder. Her anorexia has been a part of her life for so long that she’s even given it a name - Nia. Then Hedda discovers that she’s pregnant and she and Nia strike up a truce. Nia will let Hedda eat for the next few months for the sake of the baby.

This was a heartbreaking read that actually had me in tears at the end. I know. Me, the Ice Queen, in tears.

Hedda was a really sympathetic character. I often find it hard to empathise with characters with eating disorders, but that wasn’t the case here. This was one of those books that wrapped me up so completely that I genuinely felt I was there. The writing was just the right amount of descriptive to let me feel like the characters were real and that I was actually in Hedda’s dingy flat.

The plot first goes through Hedda’s pregnancy and then the months after where Hedda is struggling to look after herself and her baby in a depressing tower block flat on benefits. The story deals not only with eating disorders, but also the way we as a society treat young single mothers (*narrows eyes at Daily Mail and Tory party*), about our social care system (which is actually portrayed really well) and about what it’s like to live on screw-all money a week.

This was unusual for a contemporary in that there was no real romance storyline, and it was all the better for it. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE a romance thread, but having a guy come in being all, ‘Let my love be the cure for your eating disorder!’ would have detracted from Hedda’s journey and taken her strength away.

Instead of romance, we see quite a lot of Hedda’s family life and how this has affected her decisions over the years. Although Hedda claims not to have a reason for her eating disorder, the more we see of her family, the more everything starts to click into place.

All i all this was a total emotional roller coaster. As we watch Hedda fall back into Nia’s grip after her baby is born, I just wanted to reach through the pages and give her a damn good shake and scream at her to look after herself and her baby properly. I was sobbing, like actually sobbing at the end, but don’t let this put you off. Hedda’s story is sad and horrific but it’s ultimately hopeful.

Warning: This book and review both talk about an eating disorder, please do not read on if this may trigger you in any way.

Wow. This book had a real hold on my heart and emotions from the very first pages and that grip only tightened as the story went on. I felt like I was with Hedda on her journey and so wanted to wrap her up in cotton wool and take care of her.

From experiences on the unit, to counting calories, exercising and that voice in her head, Hedda’s anorexia, or Nia as she calls it, is life consuming, until she discovers that she is pregnant. When faced with this enormous life changing experience, Hedda is forced to confront her own feelings, fears and emotions. But what will her future be?

This book is so emotionally driven and it is such a raw read. I don’t have any personal experience with having an eating disorder and neither have I been a teenage mother and I found this book to be a real eye opener. It gave a really honest insight into being anorexic and how hard it is to fight your own demons. The way in which Nia was always there looking over Hedda’s shoulder, ready to pounce and spit out spiteful names at her was something that really got me because it was such a powerful way to show the world just how life consuming having an eating disorder is. There isn’t a moment in this book where Hedda’s mind isn’t somehow straying towards counting calories or comparing herself to others and it is frightening to say the least. I am thankful that I’ve read this book because I genuinely feel that I’ve learnt so much from it.

Teenage pregnancy is another topic which still seems to be somewhat taboo in the UK and that is tackled head on in this novel. There are many occasions where Hedda is receiving dirty looks or is made to feel uncomfortable and whilst we must also take on board that this will be because of her appearance too, there is something to be said for those who judge teenage mothers. At the young age of seventeen and completely isolated Hedda certainly does not have an easy time of it when Rose comes along. It was so heartwarming to read of Hedda’s journey with Rose and to see how that motherly love just blossomed over time into something so special and beautiful. Of course it is not plain sailing but Hedda’s love for Rose knows no bounds and the last few chapters and the epilogue of this book absolutely destroyed me. I think that sobbing would be an understatement.

This book is beautifully written and deals with such a raw and complex subject matter in a really authentic and meaningful way. This book is a very difficult read and I imagine that for someone with personal experience it may be too difficult. That is something that really needs to be considered on an individual basis. Personally I loved that this book didn’t have a fairytale ending. Hedda’s problems weren’t solved by a knight in shining armour and there wasn’t a happy ever after. What we ended up with was a heartbreaking story that felt real. It was worth every single tear that I shed.

Thank you, Karen Gregory, for putting Hedda’s story out there.

I inhaled this book. I was emotionally involved from the very start and couldn’t bear to put it down.

‘When Hedda discovers she is pregnant, she doesn’t believe she could ever look after a baby. The numbers just don’t add up. She is young, and still in the grip of an eating disorder that controls every aspect of how she goes about her daily life. She’s even given her eating disorder a name – Nia. But as the days tick by, Hedda comes to a decision: she and Nia will call a truce, just until the baby is born. 17 weeks, 119 days, 357 meals. She can do it, if she takes it one day at a time …Heartbreaking and hopeful by turns, Karen Gregory’s debut novel is a story of love, heartache and human resilience. And how the things that matter most can’t be counted.’

I have no experience of eating disorders so I can’t speak to how truthful the depiction is. But I can say that it feels immensely, painfully, believable. And that is because Karen Gregory has experienced it and has created such vivid, rounded characters that it’s impossible not to identify with them and root for them to succeed.

I feel like I’ve had a real insight into how it might feel to have an eating disorder or to care for someone who does; that I have learned from this book. And that is the special magic of books. They can open a window into lives and experiences outside of our own bubble, they can show us what it is like and help us become more understanding and empathetic people.

Countless has heart and warmth and humour but above all it is honest. It doesn’t try to sugarcoat or glamourise any of the issues raised or situations the characters find themselves in. Gregory shines a hard light at our damaged welfare system and at the prejudices people have developed. But she also highlights and celebrates the individuals who are working tirelessly to make a difference from inside a broken system. And it feels ultimately hopeful.

The parts of the book that chimed with me personally were the struggles with parenting and the sensitively handled look at post natal depression. Countless shows how having a child and being responsible for another human being changes you and makes you reassess everything. Hedda’s reflecting on her relationship with her parents and her struggle to form relationships of any kind rang true. There is a beautiful moment when Hedda meets another struggling new mother, Lois. I was shouting at the book to say ‘her! Pick her as your person!’. Because although Countless is heartbreaking it is also full of heart and it celebrates the power of finding your people and your self and the resilience to keep going.

It’s a stunner!

Honestly, I got this book because of the cover... But can you blame me?! It's the most gorgeous thing ever! I love the design, I love the colors, it's just perfect!

And when I started reading it I wasn't very sure if it was for me... I read a couple of books that talk about anorexia and others that talk about pregnancy and for some reason I never enjoy them much. Maybe because I can't relate, maybe because I wasn't up for it at the moment, or maybe both! But this one was surprisingly good!

I really liked this book! I couldn't really relate to the character in what was happening to her, but I definitely cared about her astonishingly much!

It's a bit difficult to say much about this book without giving too much away, but I will try to... Hedda has been anorexic for a long time now. She has been in and out of a unit. Nothing seems to make that change... Until she realizes she's pregnant and slowly starts seeing things differently.

I loved the way this book showed anorexia. It talks about control, about emotions, about love, and about self-image. We follow Hedda trough her days, we see how she thinks and how she acts. And slowly we start seeing changes. She is no longer sure of anything. She doesn't know what she wants anymore. We see her struggling about what she should do with the baby and struggling about what to do with Nia (her name for her eating disorder). We see her struggling with her family, her romantic life, finances, and therapists. And I loved how the author showed all those themes and how Hedda navigated trough them until the end.

Thigs develop at an amazing pace and each page my connection with Hedda grew. It's written in a beautifully realistic way and it's very easy and fast to read. The book was incredibly heartbreaking, and everything is as it is, without sugar coats!

It's the first book I actually enjoy about anorexia and pregnancy and I would definitely recommend it!

I give the author a lot of credit for penning a thoughtful YA contemporary that isn’t all about a fluffy romance but takes the time to deal with issues such as mental illness, pregnancy and social pressure in what felt like a genuine way.

I quite enjoyed the main character a lot and felt like I went on an emotional journey with her. Hedda has suffered with an eating disorder for most of her life, so discovering she is pregnant really forces her to try and make a mental shift in how she views food, her body and the health of her baby. It really was a heartbreaking thing to watch and as Hedda struggles at times, but her character arc is one of my absolute favourite ones I’ve ever read. No matter how frustrated you get with her actions, all you really want is for Hedda and the baby to be okay in the end.

This really is an eye-opening look at how not only mental illness but specifically anorexia encompasses your life. Gregory takes you through all the raw emotions and fears associated with the disease and places them inside sweet Hedda. Knowing very little about anorexia myself, there may well be key elements that are missed in this narrative, however for the purpose of telling Hedda’s story, I thought she did a perfect job.

I would happily pick up any of Gregory’s other books after reading this book. I thought she did a fantastic job of tackling a tough subject and creating a complex and thoughtful lead.

Countless and I had a rollercoaster of a ride, but I'm happy I queued up and waited my turn. A lot of my worries with the book were solved when I learned that the author herself had suffered from an ED, and as I have not, I took this book as educational.

FIRSTLY, can I just say how thankful I am that this is a good book set in England? I loooove finding books that go into detail about the outside world, and when that world is ENGLAND which I understand, it's like a lovely little treat - Alice Oseman's Solitaire was rife with British humour and the most accurate descriptions of Sixth Form I've ever read.

In the beginning of the novel, it was extremely difficult to get through, because of the sheer weight of the topic and how Gregory was not beating around the bush. It took me a while to learn, and I'm no expert, but I think I understand what "romanticisation" is now and this isn't it. I previously loved Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson and thought I understood ED's to a certain extent, but with her poetic prose and a character that we never really see choosing to get better, was that romanticism? Certainly, Anderson's was much easier to get through and perhaps even enjoyable at time - I revelled in her lesson in writing and perhaps it overshadowed the topic a little bit... that is what I now understand to be a form of romanticism - please discuss with me if you disagree!

Besides the story line, it was quite predictable in some places - especially in relation to the kind of/ maybe/ almost love interest - Robin. Robin was lovely, a "brown" young man who helped Hedda & baby as much as he could - but was just escaping his own problems. I truly endorse his ending, I'm glad he stopped running and I think in a small way he inspired Hedda, but there was a big emphasis in this book on that it was Hedda who could make the decision, nobody else, and I think that's an incredibly important fact.

"Being well needs to be about you too, about loving your self, if it's going to be sustainable."

However, the characters were gripping. Compared to everyone else, I think Hedda was the most plain of all - and as a pregnant anorexic girl, everyone else must be pretty damn interesting. It was heartbreaking but important that she was on her own, with only the memory of Molly - her best friend who had a heart attack and died right in front of her. Sometimes I wonder if Molly was more of Hedda in Hedda's memory than she knows, she was the strength in her soul given a name - like the disease she named "Nia." Laurel got to me more than Molly, though. I'm not sure what the purpose of Laurel was, apart from to show Hedda (and the reader) her undeniable future if she carried on. She wasn't a friend to Hedda, who made it clear that aside from Molly (and perhaps even then) everyone was competition, not a friend. But Laurel broke my damn heart. She made me cry. She was so deep on "Planet Anorexia" that even though she tired from holding a baby in her arms, she insisted on walking instead of getting the bus - a "sudden burst of energy as she gets into a rhythm" of walking.

I love how there is no black and white in this book, there's no definitive moment where Hedda decides enough is enough - she drops her baby and still carries on... not believing she's a good mother, but selfishly acknowledging she needs baby Rose because she can't support herself before coming to the conclusion that Rose needs help too. Gregory introduces these themes and ideas, the concept of a "tipping point" and Molly's advice of not to "fly so high you can't get back," but then Hedda dismisses these one way or another, believing it is too late for her every time and the reader all the while simultaneously hating her situation and sympathising with her. I think it's very important for myself to acknowledge that throughout this book, it taught me truly that Eating Disorders are diseases - they're not a choice. Although Hedda made many "choices," throughout the novel they were always tainted by Nia, and although it was haunting to have that presence there that you despised - Hedda hated her too, hated her for the comfort she provided in something so morbid as killing herself.

By the end of the book, the reader realises they have been rooting for Hedda all this time. Not because she has a baby, or because her mum never provided her with the support she needed, and not plainly because of the fate of Laurel. Although I've never been pregnant and I don't suffer with any ED, Gregory paints Hedda so that you can relate to her in some far off way - I imagine that having a baby would effect me in the same way; there was no fundamental "I must change immediately for this child," as Hedda is still a child herself, but she does learn to grow up & really understands her illness before deciding to get treatment, really deciding this time.