A brilliant look into what it's like to have a loved one experience mental illness. As someone with a close family member with a bipolar diagnosis, it was really heartening to read something that just 'got it'

Mark may not label himself 'a writer' but this book was gently and compassionately written and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I'd highly recommend it to anyone interested in a family member's perspective.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher!

I probably would never have picked up this book if The Guardian hadn't published a section from it this summer. I was astounded by how perceptiveness of the excerpt and read this beautifully heartbreaking story on my summer holiday. It's definitely not a light read but it's infused with such love and hope that was swept away by the story.

I’ve read so many memoirs of mental illness, more than I could probably list but this book really stuck out to me. If reading this was difficult, revisiting these memories in order to write it must have been incredibly painful for Mark Lukach, who beautifully chronicles his marriage during his wife’s mental illness.

This wonderful book is in essence a love story, which looks at the realities of caring for a loved one with a mental illness and offers a glimmer of hope for anyone in a similar situation.

I first read an extract of <i>My Lovely Wife</i> in the supplement of the newspaper, and felt it was such a compelling read that I was really pleased to be able to get a copy from NetGalley. Admittedly I quickly forgot I had this book, but once I found it in my list of books to be read I finished it within 24 hours.

Mark's wife Giulia becomes unwell with a period with psychotic symptoms, followed by a period of crashing low mood with suicidal ideation. This memoir is a very emotively written account of how Mark manages to juggle all of the metaphorical balls in the air: visiting Giulia in hospital, maintaining a job, running the home, and looking after their newborn son Jonas. As a mental health professional I find books such as these so fascinating, as they allow me to have a deeper insight into the lives of the patient and their carers, which I would hope gives me more compassion and empathy to do my job well. I really admired how raw and unfiltered Mark's account was, and what comes across first and foremost is how much he loves and adores his wife and son, and the commitment to them as a whole.

The one thing I would have liked to have read more of in <i>My Lovely Wife</i>, is periods of Giulia as a 'well' person. As we traverse through three separate psychiatric admissions, we are mostly given anecdotes of Giulia the patient, as opposed to Giulia the person. I finished this book feeling like Giulia is a patient and little more; perhaps it would have been nice to read a bit more about her life aside from the bipolar (or whatever diagnosis has been finally settled on). Individuals are more than just their mental illness, and Giulia was portrayed very much as a patient. Other than that, I found this a fascinating and heartfelt read.

I found this one to be a really fascinating, sad, eye-opening memoir. I've always had a little bit of a fascination with mental illness and how people cope with it in their lives, if they ever do.

This book is ultimately both a memoir and an autobiography. In the book, the author talks about his relationship with his wife, how he coped with his wife's sudden onset of mental illness and the struggles that he went through. This is the memoir part. But then the author also focuses on his wife, how she coped, what the diagnosis did to her and how she acted and reacted. That is the autobiography part.

Although I felt extremely sorry for Giulia and her bipolar diagnosis, which must have been devastating, the person that I felt most sorry for when reading this true account, was Giulia's husband and the author of this book, Mark. I cannot even vaguely begin to imagine what it must be like to see the person that you love crumbling before your eyes. Giulia become unloving, rude, withdrawn, selfish and all these things were aimed at her husband Mark, who was just trying to remain a rock and a constant support. And of course I realize that Giulia didn't have any control over her emotions, or over how she treated Mark, but I couldn't help feel incredibly sorry for him and a little bit irritated with her.

I must also mention at this stage, that I found this account to be incredibly honest, and I must applaud Giulia for this as I'm sure she needed to agree to Mark including some of the scenes that he included in the book. For example, there is a scene where Giulia has been released from hospital and she is back at home and Mark asks her to do the dishes after dinner. She is in her room, lying in bed and says no, she doesn't want to do them and he must do them. It's a scene that got my blood boiling because Mark had basically given up his whole life for months and months, he had done everything for Giulia and had looked after her constantly, and she couldn't even do the dishes! This is just one example of a small scene that could have been left out of the book, but wasn't. It's such a normal, every day thing, but yet it was included in the book and it was honest and brutal.

Overall, this was a really great read. It's always difficult to rate a memoir / autobiography because it's always difficult to rate someone's real life experiences. I do try and remember that the pacing will be different to a fiction novel, as will the gripping nature of the read. But this one was great. It was incredibly interesting and eye-opening, it was sad but also hopeful. The love that Mark shows for Giulia is incredible and amazing. My personal feeling is that I'm not quite as confident that Giulia shows the same depth of love for Mark, but that's just my personal feeling.

This is a wonderful memoir that I'm sure many people will "enjoy" (it's difficult to say enjoy due to the nature of the read). I'm sure that many of you will find something in this read to lift your spirits. I know that I did.

And here's wishing all the best to both Mark and Giulia, for their life together.


My Rating: * * * *

Publication Date: August 2017 (South Africa)

Genre: Memoir

Format: Trade Paperback

Source: Review copy received from the publisher. Many thanks to author, Mark Lukach and Pan Macmillan SA for my copy. It was my pleasure to read and review this title.

A harrowing story of love and broken hearted ness in equal measure. The strength of nature and our bodies to help us cope when living is hell. A tragic rise and call of emotions. I thoroughly enjoyed the book, I felt sad so many times at the ineptitude of the health systems to support the ecosystem that riles and falls around the person who is ill. The wildlife spread of dis-ease and the lack of empathy.

If you've ever had a loved one with a mental illness, or encountered a person in psychosis, or seen a tragic news report about a suicide and questioned how that can ever happen, this is a book that lays it all out bare and with a unique inside perspective that is both incredibly personal to the Lukach family but frighteningly familiar to so many whom mental health problems are very much reality.
However,despite the desperate and heartbreaking experiences, this book is very much a story about love, and life and fighting for both.
I thank the author and his family for writing this so honestly and so openly.