This was cute but wasn't anything special, do think some YA books can focus on a very niche kind of teenager too much sometimes that finds it hard to relate to.

I no longer have an interest in reviewing this title but would like to thank the publisher and author for the opportunity, it is now far past the publication and archive date. I have awarded 3 stars to keep this review neutral.

There was much to enjoy here, but I found I couldn't connect with it. I'd read more from this author in the future though.

I loved Our Chemical Hearts and couldn't wait to read A Semi Definitive List of Worst Nightmares. Safe to say it didn't disappoint. I loved Krystal Sutherland's characterisation and brilliant writing - I'll be recommending! 4/5 stars.

Unfortunately I didn't finish this book, as I couldn't get into it - nothing against the author or book, just not to my personal taste. Thank you for the opportunity to read it.

An unusual story that delves wonderfully into mental health in relation to the black community. Quirky and unique, more than what it seems.

Unusual family back stories & mental health themes make this much more than just a quirky romance between offbeat characters. Original and quite absorbing read

Wow there is so much to say about this book. It took me a little while to get into it and connect with the characters. But once I had, I was hooked. The novel will stay with me for a long time due to its complete allignment with my own quirky, ridiculous and innappropriate sense of humour (I know some people really didn't enjoy the jokes in this book, but I got it).

The book managed to wrap so many important themes and issues into it without getting too too dark and heavy - mental health (depression, self harm, agoraphobia, obsession, selective mutism, anxiety), family issues, grief...not to mention romance, war, mortality and death himself - whilst still making you laugh along on an adventure of self discovery and acceptance wearing a different costume every day. Oh and an adorable kitten named Fleaonce. Absolutely adored this book.

A humorous and quirky adventure through the varying degrees of mental illness told in .a light hearted and thought provoking way

Oh I adored A Semi-Definitive List of Worst Nightmares by Krystal Sutherland. Adored it. And it was such a surprise of a book too. You know how when sometimes a certain title or a specific cover design just speaks to you on another level? That's what it was for me with this book. I really had no idea what I was getting into when I started reading this book but something about the title and especially that lobster just really appealed to me and it meant I had to read it, just to find out what it meant. And as I said, it was love.

I remember that I did read the synopsis of the book before I read it but I'm pretty sure I didn't really understand what was going on from the brief blurb. And that's okay with me, I actually really love the idea of going into a story blind. But if you're not into the blind-reading thing, then this book is about Esther and her family. Esther and the Solar family believe that their lives are consumed by One Big Fear and that eventually each family member will die because of their fears. Esther's brother's fear is the dark, her father's is agoraphobia, her mother is superstitious about bad luck. Esther isn't sure what her Big Fear is yet but she still lives in fear and carries around a list of her fears that could potentially be The One.

Then one day, Esther gets pick-pocketed by Jonah Smallwood, someone she used to know in elementary school. And despite this theft of epic proportions (he stole a fruit roll-up) Esther and Jonah become friends and Jonah ends up helping Esther confront her fears one at a time to show her that life is about more than fear.

I'm finding it difficult to put into words how much I loved this book. It's very quirky. Esther and Jonah and everybody who populates this book has their own little quirks and ways of speaking. Esther is continuously dressing up in outlandish ways, her brother and their entire family are all just so ...different. But I felt like it just worked within this story.

There's also a sort of magical realism vibe to the book, some sort of magical quality because of Esther's view of the world of the world, of her family, of the curse and her view of herself. I loved the ways in which serious topics such as mental illness are discussed in this book and I thought that the story unfolded in a way that was both believable and hit the right tone. I thought there were some fascinating characters in this book, some really sweet relationships and friendships. And the Solar family will definitely be a family that I remember for a very long time.

But it's definitely Esther and Jonah that stole my heart in this book. I feel like reading this book all over again in order to spend more time with them, getting to know them both as they got to know each other. I really do recommend this book.

One of my favourite books of the year! Full review to come...

Krystal Sutherland's debut book, Our Chemical Hearts fell flat for me when I first read it last year, however, when I read the first look at her new book, A Semi-Definitive List of Worst Nightmares, I fell in love with the writing and the setting of the book and it did not disappoint. A Semi-Definitive List of Worst Nightmares is a truly unique story which is now one of my new favourites.

The book follows Esther who has bad anxiety and on one night gets robbed by Jonah, a boy who was once her friend until he moves away. With the robbery, Jonah gains Esther's semi list of worst nightmares which are things that she is scared off and Jonah suggests that they tackle these on a weekly based and with this a story is born.

Sutherland's writing is one of those that can keep you engaged with the story and I often felt that this had to be completed as the book goes to some dark places at moments but this is still done well even when mentioning pop culture references which don't take you away from the story and even add to it at moments.

The characters in the book where the main part of why I enjoyed the story so much as they are complicated and are completely lovable and I fell in love with Esther from the first page and as the book continues she develops so much and for me, that was so lovely to see. I also liked Jonah's character as he too did change over the course of the book especially from the first time he is seen on the page. The side characters of Eugene and Hephzibah were also wonderful.

I really also loved the way that this book dealt with anxiety and for me personally it was very an accurate portrayal of this and some of the ways that Sutherland writes this was accurate in describing what goes through my head at times.

The book often at times has two different plot points, the facing the fears side and the murder mystery, curse side which both does intertwine nicely and it was so nice to be resolved and to be both well throughout the book. I was never once bored by the story and was kept entertained.

The Verdict:

A Semi-Definitive List of Worst NIghtmares is one of my new favourite books and encapsulates what it means to face your fears and beat them.

I read Krystal Sutherland’s debut novel earlier this year for my #beatthebacklist challenge and whilst it wasn’t great I decided to give this writer another chance. I usually give authors a second chance, I like to see how they develop and whether it’s just the story or characters that rubbed me up the wrong way.

I was pleasantly surprised with this book, I definitely think it is an improvement from her debut novel and will read further books of her’s if the blurb intrigues me.

This story follows Esther Solar, she is not your typical 17-year-old, she doesn’t conform to fashion trends and has her very own unique style of dressing up in costumes every day, one day she might be Audrey Hepburn, she might be a cow girl the next. She is not a popular girl and her family would maybe deemed eccentric or different from the norm.

Esther’s grandfather proclaimed that he met death (several times) since this revelation his family has had a bout of bad luck. Esther has a twin who is petrified of the dark and has all the lights and candles going continuously, her father is agoraphobic and hasn’t left the cellar for 6 years and her mother has a fear of bad luck. Esther deems herself as the normal one of the family, however that’s only because she has avoided anything she thinks might induce fear and so she creates a list, these are: Lobsters, small spaces and anything else she thinks of, this is her list of semi-definitive list of worst nightmares.

Esther comes in to contact with Jonah Smallwood, a boy who used to be in her class but then moved away to another school. Jonah seems to take a liking to Esther and keeps turning up at her door or the same part. They develop this friendship,when Jonah discovers Esther’s list he takes it upon himself to help conquer these so-called fears and live life fear free.

There were several things that I enjoyed about the book, one was I thought the characters were good and fleshed out, we got a back story to how they came to their current situation. I liked that there was a magical realism/supernatural element to the book. This book had its quirks and then also some serious topics such a phobia’s,anxiety,depression, gambling,child abuse, dementia, selective mutism and suicide. Whilst you might be thinking that is some heavy stuff, it doesn’t always feel like that through the book. Sutherland has managed to handle these heavy topics with a lot of care.

Sutherland’s writing style is easy to read but the pacing was a bit up and down and sometimes it just didn’t hold my attention. I would definitely recommend reading this book, however there are trigger warnings.

3.5 stars

Esther Solar's family is cursed. Everyone has one big fear - her twin brother, Eugene, is terrified of darkness, their father has refused to leave the basement for six years, and their mother is scared of bad luck. Esther doesn't know what her big fear is yet, but she keeps a list of things to stay away from (her semi definitive list of worst nightmares).
One day Esther is pickpocketed by Jonah, a former friend who she hasn't spoken to for years. He discovers her list of phobias and vows to make Esther face one item from the list every week.
Will Esther be able to make it through the fifty items on her list?
Will she discover her one great fear?
Are the Solar's really cursed by a man Esther's grandfather met who claims to be death?

A Semi Definitive List of Worst Nightmares was a fun, intriguing read.
I really liked the characters in this. Esther was likeable but imperfect. She was very close to her twin brother Eugene, but had drifted apart from her parents which was sad.
The plot was interesting and held my attention. I found myself smiling several times. I particularly enjoyed the stories Esther's grandfather had told her of the times he had met the man who claimed to be death.
The writing style was engaging and easy to follow. I liked the references that were included.

Overall this was an enjoyable read that I would recommend.

'A Semi Definitive List...' has one of the most unique voices I've read this year...or maybe ever. All of the characters are quirky in a way that's actually pretty emotionally heroine. The serious threat of fears is balanced with an unexpected sense of humour and a beautifully odd fairytale vibe. Although, it's definitely not for anyone that doesn't like weird things!

Warning: This review will contain spoilers, as I find certain areas problematic, in regards to my personal experience with anxiety. At the same time, I understand that anxiety can affect those with this mental illness differently, and so while I find this book problematic based on my experience, it's possible this is an accurate representation of anxiety for others. Though it is important to state that this isn't an #OwnVoices novel.

Trigger warning: This book features attempted suicide, panic attacks, and discusses paedophilia and child murder.

A Semi-Definitive List of Worst Nightmares by Krystal Sutherland is not the book I thought it would be. I was expecting a comedy about people facing their fears. Instead, this is a much more serious book about mental illness.

Everyone in Esther's immediate family has a mental illness. Her dad has agoraphobia, her mum has a gambling addiction, her brother Eugene has depression, and Esther herself has anxiety. It might sound a little unrealistic for a whole family to have mental illnesses, but it's not; everyone in my immediate family, including myself, has a mental illness, too. I found it really interesting how everyone had a different mental illness, and how they affected the others in their family, primarily Esther. She has anxiety, and so she knows there is no quick and easy fix, that their illnesses are not their fault and not something they can control, but at the same time she struggles with how she feels let down by her family. She needs them, but they all have their own thing they're dealing with. She rarely sees her dad, because he is unable to leave the basement after suffering a stroke left him agoraphobic. She used to go and visit him all the time, but seeing him get worse and worse, it just became too hard, so she stopped. She needs her mum to parent, but she spends most of her time with the slot machines, and puts her family in so much debt. She has become superstitious, and her biggest fear is bad luck, so she is also obsessed with good luck charms. They used to be so close but now a rift has formed between them. Esther almost feels like her mum just doesn't care any more. And Eugene's struggle with depression gets worse every day. He is absolutely terrified of darkness, of the monsters he sees in the dark, so the lights in their house are always on, and he always carries torches, matches and flint with him wherever he goes, not feeling safe otherwise. Esther is Eugene's light in the dark, but Eugene is hers, too. With Eugene starting to lose his battle with depression, she finds he can't be there for her like she needs him to be. She's losing her family to mental illness, and despite having one herself, she resents them for it.

And then there is her own anxiety. A long time ago, her granddad met He Who Would Become Death, and his family was cursed. Each and every person in his family would have one great fear, and they would eventually die from what they are scared. Because of this, anything that even slightly scares Esther goes on to her semi-definitive list of worst nightmares, and she avoids it like the plague. If she avoids everything that scares her even a little, she won't work out what her one great fear is, and it can't kill her. But when an old class mate, Jonah, comes back into her life and discovers the list, he challenges her to try and face a different fear each week, in order to remove the curse.

And this is where I had problems. I found the whole issue of the curse and the presence of Death - are they real, are they not? - took away, a little, from the seriousness of the mental illnesses. Except, it doesn't. The problem is with Esther. She believes in the curse, she believes her granddad met death several times, and because of this, she also believes that her family's mental illnesses are down to the curse. Break the curse, and they'll be fine. Curse or not, this is of course ridiculous, and the book does deal with this eventually, but there were a number of times when I just wanted to put the book down, because I found it just too difficult to deal with. I wanted to shake Esther. Her family, every single one of them, needs help, proper medical help, and she's wrapped up in a curse that may be real or not. By facing each of her fears, she thinks she's helping them, when all she's doing is giving herself multiple panic attacks.

Which is another thing I had a bit of a problem with. Jonah's insistence that she face each of her fears, even when she doesn't want to. She has anxiety - she, too, needs help. Jonah is not a medical profession, and forcing her to, each week, do things that trigger her anxiety is just so out of order. I have anxiety, and that it just felt so cruel to me. It may make sense to some, and it is even used in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. Because the more you avoid something, the worse of an affect it has on you, and your body needs to learn that this thing, this trigger, isn't going to kill you, nothing bad will happen, and so on. But in CBT you are taught methods on how to cope, things are taken slowly, you take baby steps that lead up to the bigger things. You are not just thrown into the deep end and expected to swim. On top of that, I found how quickly Esther got over her panic attacks and was able to do the thing that scared her without a problem unrealistic.

What I also found strange is that when both Eugene and Esther see a therapist together, the therapist give Eugene baby steps to tackle with his fear of the dark and his depression, but yet tells Esther to keep doing what she's doing, though with giving her methods of how to challenge her thoughts and cope with her anxiety. In the author's note, Sutherland explains that those methods came from a TEDX talk from Dr. Dawn Huebner, "Rethinking anxiety: Learning to face fear." But I find it strange that Eugene is given baby steps and Esther is not. This is not my experience of CBT, it is also not something I think I would have been able to do when anxiety had me in grips. As I say above, I understand that those with anxiety experience it differently, and maybe this approach does work for others, so I could be wrong in thinking that diving in head first is not only asking too much, but also really harmful. But I can only go on my experience, and I just didn't find this book realistic in that sense.

Also, I had issue with how Esther's mum and dad get over their illnesses. Esther's mum just decides to go cold turkey with her gambling, to try to do better, without any help whatsoever, and succeeds. Esther's dad, whose body no longer functions as it should due to several strokes, climbs his way out of his basement to get to Eugene when he has that parental instinct that his son is in danger, and from then on, he's fine with being outside. I don't have agoraphobia, nor do I know anyone who has it, but I've read another book where a character with agoraphobia forced herself to go out when she was in danger and absolutely had no other choice, but it wasn't easy, it was unbelievably difficult for her, and her panic attack at the time was so bad, but she wasn't fine after because she managed it once. She still had a mental illness, she still struggled and still needed help. Things were better, yes, but she wasn't "cured". So I find how Esther's mum and dad just snap out of their mental illnesses not only unrealistic, but harmful, because I feel it just perpetuates the stigma that if you really wanted to, you could just stop being mentally ill. No-one can "snap out" of their mental illness. You can't pull yourself together. That's not how it works.

I have really mixed feelings about this book. I really wasn't on board with the curse/Death part of the story, and when it comes to the mental illnesses, some things felt true and realistic (like how Esther dealt with her family's mental illnesses), while others felt problematic and harmful to me. The thing is, I know if I'd read this before I had anxiety, I would have loved it, because it is an enjoyable read. But I just know a bit more now. To be honest, I don't really know what I feel. I'd love to read more reviews by people who have the mental illnesses featured, and see what they thought of it all. I'd maybe suggest you seek them out, too.

Thank you to Hot Key Books via NetGalley for the eProof.

This started out as a quirky young adult, friends to possibly more tale and built into a pretty deep and messy story about family and mental health issues. I have to say I normally avoid books about this topic simply because I read to relax and they don't do that. But here those issues were mixed well with an array of quirky characters, a bit of romance and the realisation that all families have issues and parents are people too with flaws. That can be a big revelation for some teenagers so I felt that was very fitting and I have to give this author credit for making me feel the whole range of emotions and using the quirky nature of the people to fit in some deep issues that (thankfully) are being talked about more openly these days.

It's a 3.5 from me and not a 4 simply because that something extra was missing and several parts were slow. Would definitely recommend to anyone that likes deeper meaning to their YA reads instead of fluffy romance.

I loved Krystal Sutherland's first book but I found this one directed to a younger audience! Loved how funny it was though! I would recommend this book for fans of Tim Burton and eccentric stories and will avoid it if you're not a fan of YA fiction!

A SEMI-DEFINITIVE LIST OF WORST NIGHTMARES BY KRYSTAL SUTHERLAND
“I can safely say that this book will make you laugh, make you cry and everything in between.”

Where do I start with this book? I thought I was going to like it, even though it seemed a little different from what I’d usually enjoy. It was somewhat difficult to really get into. From the start, it was good. It really was. It wasn’t un-put-down-able. I didn’t read it all in one go. But that’s not to say it wasn’t really good, because it was.

Like I said, it took me quite a few chapters to really get into the story because there was so much information from the start. You have to read on to learn more about the characters and the curse and really understand what the book is about. So, as I was about halfway through the book, I would’ve probably rated it as 3.5 stars because that was how I felt about it at that point. Personally, the stories Esther told about her grandfather’s meetings with Death hadn’t interested me so far, but they were important to the build up of the plot, and it was all necessary information you needed to understand the story.

Anyway, as I was reading, let’s say about two thirds of the way through the book, something clicked. It was like all of the pieces had suddenly joined together, like the book was really brought together before the end. And I’m so glad that I carried on reading because what came next was so beautiful.

I can safely say that this book will make you laugh, make you cry and everything in between. It takes all of these issues and it explores them in a way that’s easy to follow and easy to understand. You can feel what the characters are going through because it’s so emotional and raw. I really have to commend the author for that; there aren’t many books that have really made me feel like this one has.

The best way that I can describe this story is abstract. It’s not a simple story of one person’s struggles. It brings together lots of struggles but uses this idea of magic to weave them all together and talk about them in a lighter way, in a way that you don’t have to be told what’s going on, but you can feel it instead.

This book is important. The themes are dark, but important. If you can read it, you should. And if at first you don’t really like it, I recommend that you give it a chance and carry on because for me, it got so much better as I kept on reading. It was good at the start, but it was great by the end. I think it’s a book that I won’t forget.

This book talks a lot about mental health, and explores issues including depression, suicide, self-harm, gambling addiction and abuse. There are a lot of dark themes and I’d recommend that readers be 16+. This isn’t to say that younger readers can’t read this book, or that older readers won’t find it difficult or too upsetting. I would say that if you read this book, it may be triggering or upsetting, and you should keep this in mind.

If you need help with any of the issues mentioned in the book or above, please use the links below or contact somebody for support:

https://www.time-to-change.org.uk/mental-health-and-stigma/help-and-support

http://www.centreforglobalmentalhealth.org/global-mental-health-websites

http://www.gamcare.org.uk/

https://www.childline.org.uk/

4.5 STARS

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher, Bonnier Zaffre, for providing the copy of this book in exchange for a review, and spreading the word about this book.

I loved this. Like an obsessive I-can't-wait-to-read-it-again sort of love.

I love love loved Esther and Jonah and Eugene. I liked BFF Hephzibah, but she was a little elusive on the page, which was effective when it paired up with how Esther described her. The four of them are loyal and supportive and delightfully strange and I desperately want to hang out with them.

Plot wise, it had ups and downs. There was sweetness and laughter and heartbreak and swoons and pretty much every emotion I had available. I loved the way it progressed and while slow in some scenes, I enjoyed the growth and the revelations.

The ending had me nearly screaming in glee and in frustration all within a paragraph. It could not have been done better. I'm sure this will be a book I pick up again and again.

Krystal Sutherland wrote one of the most “realest” books about living with a mental illness. I live with social anxiety and saw myself on Esther, it was funny and refreshing knowing that that part of me could not take away how badass Esther was and got me hopping it could not take my own (hidden) baddasery.