WITH THE END IN MIND is written for the public perspective and not professionals working with the grieving, in my opinion. It takes an anecdotal story approach to representing a variety of death, dying and grieving situations and conversations that many might find potentially helpful.

I tried to read it from a dual perspective, as a professional and academic in this field but also as a person inquisitive about their own death and those of my loved ones. However, I found as a professional it didn’t engage me, dare I say I find my own examples and experiences more interesting and representative. I do realise however, that I am not the reader this book is aimed at. Nevertheless, I am drawn to investigating books that might engage and aid people I work with searching for understanding and meaning around their loved ones death.

Readers will find stories about patients from different ages, stories of difficult conversations and a build in the narrative to questions a reader might have about what their own death might be like physiologically and psychologically. I felt more thought could have been given to questions such as resuscitation. The quick move from self-searching topics to stories wasn’t always a welcome shift in the narrative.

Overall, this book wasn't to my taste, but some readers will engage with the approach to this topic.

A copy of this book was provided by the publisher through netgalley in return for a honest review.

Kathyrn Mannix is not a philosopher who has focused on death and what it means and how to approach it. As a palliative carer her experience has been gained from working on the front line, whether that is in oncology or in other fields for many years. Her wisdom has been honed and perfected, assimilated from colleagues and more importantly from patients and their families. She suggests that the birth process is akin to dying with one difference. When a family anticipate a birth they gather, discuss and support the expectant mother with a team of experts. Not always so with a death which is often surrounded in tears, fear and suffering – or at least that is the common perception. Kathyrn rejects this view; her experience has given her a unique perspective and this she shares with us.

Earlier this year I witnessed my first death. My Mother-in-law aged 87 died in hospital. Yes, there were tears but I must attest that her death was as Kathryn has described in this book. As I stroked her head and spoke to her of her family who were waiting for her, telling her she was loved, she seemed to relax and just fall asleep; no struggle; no fear. Yes, we were sad but also relieved for her. Everybody always says that the staff was wonderful and I would echo that. What I witnessed were quite young women, professional, compassionate who were there to support us and give us as much time as we needed. This support was repeated as we dealt with matters with the bereavement office.

How I wished I had read this book before her death. She was brave, we found little notes advising what music she would like. Yes, we had discussed matters very loosely before but she was obviously aware of approaching death – whilst we were not. She was tired; she was struggling; she had accepted and welcomed death.

So with this in mind, I was interested to read this book; a sequence of stories to illustrate Kathyrn’s views. At times, incredibly sad but also so uplifting. In reality it could be hailed as a return to old wisdom; a time when the family would surround the dying, accepting the encroaching death ready to prepare the body and to revisit stories of their life and mourn and take strength from each other. Most of all though, I think the real message, is ‘communicate’.

I found this book to be a great comfort not just because it does not necessarily mean there will be pain and suffering but because now I am aware that there are teams of qualified, caring staff who will access my doubts and fears and let me find my way to a better understanding. Thank you Kathyrn for this book and for leaving me with the image of you, a gentle health professional sitting on the floor by your patient rather than looming over them as the expert.

Thank you to the publishers and NetGalley for providing an ARC via my Kindle in return for an honest review.

This book is amazing. The author talks so compassionately about her patients and their struggles to face their deaths, and isn't afraid at all to talk about the practical side of the end of life. You can tell she really cares for every one of her patients and has an enormous amount of skill and empathy. I could have cried so many times while reading this book, and did while in the comfort of my own home! It is very moving and yet a practical and important topic, written beautifully by a very talented woman