
Member Reviews

This was not my kind of book and I found it really difficult to relate to the main character.

Really enjoyed this book and with a lovely happy ending. A very fast-paced book that deals with a delicate subject for some and is a small reminder that if you're different, it doesn't matter and that you can do anything you put your mind to. Wonderful!

Seventeen-year-old Ella Black has a stable and relatively happy life. Most of the time. When she’s not painting or hanging with her friends, she is trying to hide the ‘bad’ side of her personality, Bella, as Bella makes her do and say things that Ella never would. All good until one day, out of the blue, her parents pull her suddenly out of school and whisk her away to Rio de Janeiro with some flimsy excuse that Ella doesn’t believe for a minute. Determined to find out what’s really going on, Ella searches through their things and discovers that her entire life has been a lie. Hurt and confused, Ella runs away, but it appears she can’t outrun the truth.
My issues with this book are many but mainly centred around Ella herself: the fact that she behaved younger than her apparent years, was bratty and spoiled and fell head-over-heels in love with someone she had never even spoken to are just some of those. The bit I had been keen to read more about was her alter-ego Bella, but even she disappeared once they arrived in Rio. Rio? The fact that Ella’s parents whisk her off there was never really explained either, it was just all very odd. As was the fact that she managed to land on her feet and get out of scrapes with remarkable speed and ease.
I read to the end was to find out what happened but unfortunately, it was a big let-down. The cover is misleading for a start, and I still couldn’t understand Ella’s actions enough to get any kind of closure. I’m left feeling a bit cheated.
Verdict:
I am a fan of Emily Barr’s books but I really can’t recommend this one I’m afraid. I know I’m not the target audience but I still know a good book when I read one and I hate to say it but this ain’t one of ’em.

A brilliant book. You feel Ella’s anger at the deception of the adults that she trusted.

With the premise of a teenage girl suffering with some form of dissociative identity disorder/schizophrenia I was looking forward to reading this. Sadly I was let down as the story failed to really address Ella's issues and instead just followed a path of instalove, lies and bad choices. With its repetitive narrative and 'plot twists', as well as a rapid and unsatisfying ending, I'm afraid it turned out to be a disappointment. Warnings for mentions of previous self harm, suicidal thoughts and animal abuse.

Disappointed with this book. The title is great and the blurb inticing-but I thought it far-fetched to the point I could not finish it. Sorry, not for me.

I have been anticipating this book for a long while. I was a fan of Emily Barr’s previous book ” The One Memory of Flora Banks”, so I was excited about this book as soon as it was announced. For the most part I really enjoyed this book. I didn’t like it as much as Emily Barr’s previous novel but that doesn’t mean I would never recommend this book.
This book definitely did a good job of keeping me hooked all the way through. I loved the mystery that was behind why Ella Black’s parents suddenly whisked her off to Rio and acted so weird. I was also a fan of Ella’s second personality and was always wondering where that would take the story.
I did have a couple of issues with this book though, these were only small issues and didn’t ruin my experience with the book. I am not a fan of the insta-love trope which is featured in this story. This instantly put me of the story quite a bit which made me rate it a little less. Ella’s love interest Christian was someone who I expected to feature heavily in the story. This didn’t happen, his inclusion in the book just seemed to be something to pad the story out a little. The other thing that was an issue for me was Ella’s home friends. they were introduced at the beginning of the story but as soon as Ella arrives in Rio she never seems to talk to them again. they are mentioned but she never makes the effort to contact her friends who I’m sure will be worried about her. I just found that a little odd.
I was a big fan of how Ella’s character evolved. It was lovely to read about a main female character who was starting to become a very strong, independent female only halfway through the story. Emily Barr had certainly done her research about Rio and the different cultures and places you can find there. It was lovely to read a YA book that was set in a destination I knew next to nothing about. I do really enjoy Emily Barr’s writing as well as all the stories that she seems to write are incredibly unique. This book gives a very compelling depiction of mental health as well. It discusses a mental health I have never heard anything about which I enjoyed as I got to learn more. The mystery aspect of this book is one that I really enjoyed. I was gripped the entire time I was reading this book. I read this book extremely quickly and when I got to around 60% I didn’t put the book down until I had finished it.
Overall, I will definitely be recommending this book to people in the future. If you are a fan of an incredibly unique mystery and can look over an insta-love trope then I recommend this book to you!
Thank you to Penguin, Emily Barr and Netgalley for sending me a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. Also thank you to the lovely people at TEENSgate for giving us opportunities to review these books.

This starts as the story of an ordinary girl, who has no idea she has been adopted. Whn her parents discover that her birth mother ( who had been involved in several murders), is due to be released from prison, her adoptive parents worry about her contacting Ella.
So they hot foot it to run away to Brazil. However, Ella is guarding a secret of her own - she feels she has another "self" Bella who is inheritantly bad, and worries about losing self-control, and hurting someone, or herself..
Once she has discovers why they left the UK, she decides to run away, and ends up helping in a school for poor children, teaching them English. Unbelievably, her mother, who has put a tracker on Ella's telephone,finds out where she is staying, and comes to find her.
Ella (or Jo as she is now known), is horrified, and tells her that she doesn't want to know her. She contacts her adoptive parents, and tells them that she is thankful for all they have done for her, but she has decided to stay and teach in Brazil.
I found the whole story, just a little bit far-fetched and rathe exhausting to read, although the characters are well drawn.

Not my favourite by Emily Barr. Sadly I was disappointed by Ella as a character. She came across as a much younger teenager and not very likeable. The plot was a bit slow, but this was not a long book and I did want to find out how it ended. I would probably recommend to the young adult audience it was meant for.
My thanks to Net Galley for my advance copy in exchange for an honest review.

A little too overwrought at times for me; and never a huge fan of the 'love at first sight' thing - too 'magic' and utterly unbelievable, generally
Just unconvincing - sorry (I enjoyed previous titles by this author)

Emily Barr captures beautifully the turmoil and identity crisis that many teenagers go through.
Ella is a complex character. The thoughts in her head make her think she's not normal and she can't tell anyone and then, one day her parents take her to Rio where the entire mystery is revealed.
I found parts of this book very good- and others just too off to be realistic. The ending was terrible but I can see how a YA would enjoy this from beginning to end.

Ella Black has a safe and relatively happy life. Her only issue is trying to hide the ‘bad’ side of her personality, Bella. Until one day, out of the blue, her parents pull her out of school and whisk her away to Rio de Janeiro. Determined to find out why, Ella searches through their things and discovers that her entire life has been a lie. Hurt and confused, Ella runs away, but she can’t outrun the truth.
So, this book is weird because it’s kind of about mental illness, but then it’s also kind of not. Ella definitely seems to have some kind of mental problem (Bella – her bad side), but any actual illness is never diagnosed, confirmed or properly discussed. The story didn’t really seem to be about that.
Ella herself was a super annoying character. She’s irresponsible, unkind and incredibly selfish. I hated the way she treated her parents, and I was also confused about her being almost 18. She didn’t act like any 17/18 year old I’ve ever known, and behaved more like a 15 year old. Considering that the entire book revolves around her, I didn’t enjoy it much.
I only really made it the whole way through the book because a) it wasn’t very long, and b) I just wanted to know who was going to die (not a spoiler because we know at the very start that someone is going to die, just not who or how). After getting all the way to the end to find that out, I was really disappointed. The death part is anti-climatic and, by that point, I’d pretty much lost interest.
In addition to all that, the romance aspect was absolute DRIVEL. Insta-love at its absolute worst.
If Ella wasn’t such an arse I’d probably have enjoyed it a little bit more, but to be honest the whole story wasn’t exceptional.
I received a copy of this book from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Oh how I loved this book! Ella Black is a girl with secrets but not even she knows just how many secrets she has. This is one of those stories where you can't really say too much for fear of giving away major plot twists, of which there are many, but I absolutely adored it and devoured it in one sitting to find out what exactly the mystery was surrounding Ella and why her life is so unexpectedly turned upside down. My only slight criticism is the epilogue at the end, which struck me as an unnecessary and awkward attempt at raising the question of nature vs nurture, but it's such a minor niggle that it really doesn't detract from what it otherwise a compelling read.

A perfect successor to the One Memory of Flora Banks, this tale of Ella Black, a young woman who believes she has an alternate personality, is highly recommended YA fiction.
... 40 days until she dies ...
Ella is a terribly normal young woman with angst and 21st century social discomfort. Her best friend Jack is her rock but not even he knows about Bella - "bad Ella" as Ella has coined her. Bella makes an appearance most days in Ella’s life and she has developed strategies to manage her as best as she can. And then one day she is wrenched from school by her parents and flown to Rio - something so out of the ordinary Ella is stunned. Her parents refuse to tell her why and slowly Ella realises that Bella seems to be quiet. In that silence she starts remembering hospital visits as a small child. Ella has to confront her parents and find out the real reason for their spontaneous trip to sunnier parts.
this is a perfectly intriguing read with imaginative twists, youth dialogue and character, and a decent YA perspective. Where Flora Banks had lost her ability to store memories, Ella Black has a voice in her head steering her towards dark behaviour and thought streams. As with Flora Banks we are whisked away to an outlandish location, this time Rio - something out of the characters' usual radius.
The reader can really get stuck into an Emily Barr story, the chapters are well placed, the story easy to follow, but with nooks and crannies, secret chests and jewelled moments of realisation. Barr creates her protagonist in such a way that she is faceted and without doubt there is something that all readers can relate and therefore respond to. Once you've captured a splinter of my soul the rest is easy.
Themes: friendship, secrets, adoption, Rio,transparent parenting, binge drinking, abandonment
Thanks to Netgalley and Penguin Random House for my free ARC.

I loved Flora Banks and so I was looking forward to this one but I’m afraid I was disappointed by it.
I found it very repetitive and was actually a bit bored. Ella was not an engaging character and the love element was just too much for me, love at first sight is one thing, but this was way over the top.
My thanks to Netgalley but this wasn’t for me.

I started reading this book and I wasn't entirely sure I understood Ella, but as the pages turned there were times when I wasn't sure if it was Ella or my daughter the book was really about it
I was captivated by each new chapter and towards the last third of the book couldn't put it down
Still slightly confused by epilogue but fabulous book, well written and captivating

honestly I've gotten around 30% and I can't read any more it's just so repeative and the main character is just such a brat and I'm not on board with this way of portraying mental illness. Then there was this one part that that Ella who loves Brazil says she doesnt even speak Spanish! Correct me if I'm wrong but I thought people from Brazil spoke Portuguese. From the very beginning this story just annoyed me and I won't be continuing

I requested this book on NetGalley as the blurb held great promise and captured my interest. The beginning of this book was descriptive and narrative flowed well. The more in depth the book for the more it seemed to lose its edge and I found myself getting bored by Ella/Bella's teenage dramatics. As for her issues with her sense of self, it seemed amateurish and rushed. I wanted to see more Jack and Lily and relationship development rather than Ella finding her "happy ever after" in the lobby of her hotel.
I did find the premise of villain/hero being the same individual fascinating and would have loved to see some development of Bella, when all we get as readers is "demon!" , "monster", "evil".
I didn't have much love or connection to Ella and found her dull for a central character. Though her abduction and relocation to Rio didn't help my perception of her. If you senses your child was in danger you would get the Police involved, tell your child why you've kept their prior identity a secret and do everything to protect them, even if they decide to shut you out. To me that seems logical and sane.
There isn't a lot of good about this book other than showing the knowledge of a teenager who thinking she knows all is put in her place, especially about the one pace she'd dreamed of going one day.
A good effort but lacks pizzazz.

I was very much looking forward to this novel as I’ve read a previous novel from this author and it’s very good , I found it a little hard to get into at the beginning and it frustrated me lots but after the first few chapters I couldn’t put it down.