One night while at university Elizabeth was riding her bike when a truck came upon her and knocked her down. The drive apologized and offered to pay for the damages to her bike and give her a ride back to the school. Not seeing a better option Elizabeth got into his vehicle only to find herself awakening hours later in a windowless shack in the middle of nowhere half dressed which led to Elizabeth’s biggest secret of her life that she’s been tormented from ever since that horrific night.

Now years later Elizabeth is a successful lawyer and loving mother and wife but still lives with the secret that has haunted her all these years. Elizabeth has spent her life trying to make up for that horrific night and now takes on cases of rape and abuse to help other young girls. Her latest pro bono case has her working late hours and hits very close to home for Elizabeth.

First, when picking up If You Only Knew by Cynthia Clark I was expecting this book to be a mystery/thriller read but it really isn’t so that might disappoint some readers. I would best say that this one would fall under more of a suspenseful drama read since we know right from the beginning what happened to Elizabeth that night and what she was forced to do and the book is building up to what happens now, years after the event.

For those that may be bothered I would also warn that this one contains graphic details of rape so some may want to give this a pass if that would bother them. This intense night at the beginning of the story certainly had me cringing but it also put me on the edge of my seat wondering what would happen in the rest of the story. I became hooked with getting to know Elizabeth and where the story would end up so despite the lack of twists and turns of a thriller the book still became quite intriguing along the way.

I received an advance copy from the publisher via NetGalley.

Great read! Looking forward to reading more by this author! Highly recommend!

This is a great read. A real page turner, filled with emotion and drama. I really enjoyed it.

Many thanks to Cynthia Clark and Netgalley for the copy of this book. I agreed to give my unbiased opinion.

I really tried to get into this book but I just couldn't. Just not for me I'm afraid.

An excellent thriller which kept the suspense levels up for the majority of the book. Elizabeth comes across as a vulnerable person who makes some bad decisions in her life, but usually with good intentions. The way the story goes back in time to explain the current situation is an old trick but worked particularly well in this case. A good read.

I received an ARC from NetGalley to read and review. The below is my honest, unbiased opinion. Thank you, Cynthia Clark, the publisher, and NetGalley, for allowing me to review.

Please keep in mind that this review DOES have spoilers. Read at your own risk!

IF YOU ONLY KNEW follows Elizabeth Phillips, a college student who is hit by a truck while riding her bike. Unable to ride her bike back to campus, she agrees to let the driver of the truck take her home. (I believe that is the "one wrong decision" to which the book's blurb refers.) He hits her with chloroform, and she wakes, half nude, in a windowless room. The man who ran her over (minimal injuries sustained from this) is a serial rapist. He rapes Elizabeth repeatedly, and then, while on a phone call, alludes to the fact that he plans to share her with a friend. Just as her attacker is about to rape her again, she finds a piece of broken glass and shoves it into his neck, cutting him. He dies from the wounds. Flash forward, and we see Elizabeth married, with kids, and working as a lawyer, but her guilt over murdering her attacker lurks in the depths of her mind.

I really wanted to like this book. The premise was hooking, but it wasn't what I was expecting. The author relies on cringe-worthy cliches, like a virgin heroine who is raped. The first time she is being raped, she actually stops fighting her attacker and instead just "prepares" herself to be raped. The moment Elizabeth thinks about saving her attacker's life when he is bleeding out (just moments after repeatedly beating her, raping her, and informing her that he plans to share her with his friends) rather than instinctively running for her life, I lost all respect for the book. I still finished it, and sadly, it only got worse. Elizabeth's actions are driven by her guilt of killing someone (the same someone who beat, raped, and planned to have his friends beat and rape her until they were done with her, at which time they would kill her). It was just too unbelievable to me.

IF YOU ONLY KNEW is a fast-paced novel with no guess work. The author sets up the story so you know what to expect from the very first chapter. You don't wait long to learn of Elizabeth's "mistake," and you can tell, from chapter one, that Elizabeth is consumed by her guilt--she even does pro-bono work to help young girls who are victims and helpless. Basically, she offers other girls the help she didn't have when she really needed someone. The author also explores victim-shaming.

The rape scene is detailed, and I was shocked that this book didn't come with a trigger warning. I am not a sensitive reader, but I know many people are. I wasn't expecting a rape scene at all, let alone the detailed beating and rape that we were given. The author goes as far as to describe the character's bloodstained thighs (because she was a virgin).

Personally, this story had too many cliche aspects, and the parts that weren't cliche were just too unbelievable for me.

Well, as the first person reviewing this book for GR, I'm glad to have some nice things to say about it. Though as it is often the case it's a mixed bag. So here we go...Elizabeth is a killer. It's her one dark secret, the one she spent nearly 17 years trying to hide. She's built herself a perfect life, career, children, etc. But she just can't seem to process her guilt properly and store it away somewhere in the attic of her mind. And so eventually when her past comes back to haunt her, her perfect life starts to unravel, one dramatic thread at a time. How is this one different from a seemingly infinite number of female authored female driven thrillers on the market currently? Well, it isn't all that different, the quality of writing is steadily above average, the pacing (mostly owing to the present tense narrative style) is very nice, the plotting is decent enough. One of the main differences is that this isn't a mystery, there's no guess work or mind blowing plot twists. It's a suspense thriller with elements of both permanently present, but if you're going in expecting to exercise your armchair detective muscles, you'll end up disappointed. This one is much more on the dramatic side of things and there's no shortage of drama. Legal and otherwise. Actually those aspects of the book were something of a detractor for me. Yes, apparently we live in a society that would sooner punish a woman for killing a serial rapist/murderer than reward her, but aside from that...this was just so aggressively pro life. Not one but two rape victims (one barely in her teens) choose to have the products of their rape. Really? Ok. Well, the author was pregnant with twins at the time of writing, so it was certainly a baby driven mindset at work. Anyway, this is an easy quick read, perfectly suited for a beach read probably. It's more compelling than the cheesy generic cover promises and quite entertaining for what it is. Thanks Netgalley.