Meet Lexi Volkov. A Russian hotel heiress, Lexi’s life is a non-stop whirlwind of fashion shows, after parties and fabulously fun times. Like all good socialites, Lexi can dance all night long in stilettos and she lives to party hard. After all, what else is a seventeen-year-old with limitless amounts of cash supposed to do – sit in her penthouse suite and knit the night away? I don’t think so. Only problem is that all that partying takes its toll on a girl and, somewhere along the line, Lexi realised she needed something more than vodka to dance till dawn. Enter heroin. That’s right, Lexi Volkov – London-via-Russia’s answer to Paris Hilton minus the candyfloss explosion and with better hair – has been slam dancing with Mr. Brownstone. It’s safe to say this girl is out of control.

Pitched as Gossip Girl meets Girl, Interrupted, Juno Dawson's Clean follows Lexi’s journey at the exclusive rehab facility that is tasked with, you guessed it, getting her clean. Though Clean is gritty and doesn’t hold back from the stark realities of drug withdrawal, there’s a glossy element to the book that provides a welcome relief from all the dark stuff (That would be the Gossip Girl part of this tale). I feel the gloss is worth mentioning simply because books that deal with tough subject matters such as drug addiction and withdrawal can be all round depressing and downright dreary sometimes (who would have thought?!) but Clean is never that. This is an engrossing, compelling and, dare I say it, uplifting read, despite all the dark stuff. There is a smidge of romance too, which helps, along with wonderful cast of secondary characters who I would love to know a whole lot more about. Kendall needs a whole book to herself, that’s for sure.

As for Lexi – I liked her a lot. And let me tell you, the fact that I liked Lexi right from the start surprised me. The thing is, Lexi is funny. Even when she’s in the darkest depths of withdrawal and is being an insufferable brat to boot, Lexi manages to crack a joke or two, often at her own expense. This helps lighten the mood, which is good, because things get pretty damn dark and scary from time to time. Lexi’s rehab may be located in an exclusive mansion on a remote island, but it’s still rehab, y’know? Another thing: while it’s true that Lexi is mega-rich – and in possession of the most enviable wardrobe – it’s not something you’ll hold against her. Lexi is the kind of rich that is so-filthy-rich she doesn’t feel the need to flaunt it. Or maybe that's because her money is Russian! Who knows?

While in rehab, it soon becomes clear that Lexi is not just another rich kid who almost accidentally overdosed while partying too hard with her bad news boyfriend, Kurt. No, Lexi has some deep rooted issues and a whole lot a tragedy in her past (That would be the Girl, Interrupted part of this tale) that she needs to overcome before she finally gets clean.

A compulsively readable, exquisitely researched tale of life, love and rehab, Clean kept me hooked from start to finish as I rooted for Lexi – who has a heart of gold underneath all that snark –. to beat her demons. Another winner from Juno Dawson!

http://daisychainbookreviews.blogspot.ie/2018/05/book-review-clean-by-juno-dawson.html

Clean is "Gossip Girl goes to rehab" and I loved it. Dawson has a way of writing for a YA audience without condescension and I am looking forward to whatever she writes next.

I adore Juno's writing and have really enjoyed her previous novels, so I'm always looking out for her next release! It also helps that the premise and tone of Clean was pitched as a cross between Gossip Girl and Girl Interrupted - both films/books I love too.

I really enjoyed how diverse the book felt without it being too forced. It as great to see such a range of different issues explored, as well as the inherent messiness of recovery and therapy. As always Dawson's humour and writing style is fantastic, she always manages to capture this age of character so well. Like Erin, I wasn't so keen on the ending but seeing Lexi's character grow and change throughout the novel was really satisfying.Whilst it may not be for everyone, I do think the stories within Clean are really important and it's rare to see a YA novel explore these issues in such an unfiltered way.

An amazing book. I devoured it in the space of three days, always hungry for the next chapter. A little reminiscent of <i>Girl, Interrupted</i> -- which I intend as a huge compliment to the author!

This book comes with all of the trigger warnings. There are so many possible triggers that I can’t list them all here, but Clean deals with many kinds of addiction and rehab, and you should think carefully about reading it if you think the content is likely to be triggering. If you want to ask about a particular topic or trigger in relation to this book, then feel free to message me and I'd be happy to help.
Clean starts right in the middle of all the action as Lexi Volkov finds herself coming around from her heavy night of drugs and finding herself being taken to rehab by her brother, Nikolai. It’s messy.
Lexi is a rich, spoiled socialite with a salty attitude and a drug addiction. She has so many toxic relationships it’s hard to keep track. Her boyfriend Kurt, is big in the drug scene and Lexi is as addicted to him as she is to drugs. She is sarcastic and has a really dark and twisty sense of humour that made me snort-laugh on many occasions. She’s a self-proclaimed “judgy bitch”. Lexi is instantly dislikeable, but I adored her from the start.
Some of Lexi’s experiences with drugs sound glamorous and at times, almost romantic. It’s easy to see why she enjoys that lifestyle, and why she doesn’t believe she has an addiction. Lexi doesn’t really see anything wrong with her behaviours. To her mind, she’s just having fun and doing what every other seventeen-year-old would be doing, right? Clarity is about to teach her some really harsh truths.
Clarity is an expensive and exclusive rehabilitation centre. This place has luxuries I can only dream of. As rehab goes, it’s pretty cosy. But Lexi still has to face up to herself and her addiction, and she has to get clean. Lexi doesn’t think she has a problem and initially she fights everyone and everything. Her main concerns are getting in touch with Kurt and making sure her dad doesn’t find out:
“Daddy would kill me. Or worse, cancel my credit cards”
Juno doesn’t shy away from showing the dirty and unpleasant side of addiction and recovery. It is not pretty, and it’s not easy. At times it makes for uncomfortable reading. The graphic descriptions of Lexi coming round, and of her initial detoxing are grim:
“I’m a gargoyle, knotted in salty bed sheets.
My kidneys have their own throbbing heartbeat.
There’s glass in my tubes, in my piss”
Juno has the most beautiful way with words.
Lexi starts to come around to the idea that she maybe, possibly does have a problem, and she actually finds herself wanting to do something about it. Therapy starts to peel away some of Lexi’s façade, and we start to see a softer and more vulnerable side to her. We see some of the things that led her to drugs, and also some of the things in her life she is hiding from. We get an insight into her thoughts and how she sometimes acts on her addiction and impulses without being able to explain to herself why she does it. We also get to see why Lexi left her school, and what exactly happened with Antonella, a girl who takes up a lot of space in Lexi’s mind. If I hadn’t already fallen head over heels for Lexi, this might have swayed me more towards liking her.
Lexi is not alone in her recovery at Clarity. She is surrounded by other addicts. Not all of them are addicted to drugs. They all have their different addictions, lives, stories and histories which Juno explores beautifully. I had a soft spot for Brady. Who doesn’t? Reading Clean, it’s hard not to fall for him. I 100% wanted them to have a beautiful romance, but Juno shows us how starting a relationship in rehab can be difficult and confusing. Their co-dependency could be a really bad thing, they could be switching one addiction for another, and they (and we) never really know if what they have is real, because Clarity is not real life, it’s rehab.
Just when I started to get comfortable with all the other characters and drawn into their individual stories, Juno brought in Sasha. Oh my gods. Sasha is something else. She shakes things up and puts everyone on edge. I started off really not liking her at all, but she grew on me, and I hope she’ll grow on you too. Sasha talks a lot, she’s vicious and deliberately provokes those around her. She has some serious problems though. Sasha is also a reminder that Clarity is for those who have money, those with addictions and parents or family who can afford to send them to a private rehab facility. Sasha is a charity case there. Her background is different to Lexi’s and she is not afraid to challenge priviledge when she sees it. One of my favourite scenes in the book is Lexi and Sasha in a boat together. I’m telling you nothing more.
Staying clean in rehab is relatively easy compared to being clean outside, surrounded by parties and other drug users. Can Lexi break away from her former lifestyle and stay clean? Well, you’re going to have to read it.
Clean is one of the most amazing books I’ve ever read. It is the first of Juno’s books I have read, but it definitely won’t be the last.

Wow. Imagine having an idea for a book about heroin addiction and recovery - but aimed at a YA audience. How do you make such a hard hitting subject appeal to teenagers in a way that isn't massively over complicated and depressing but conversely isn't so lighthearted that it minimises or God forbid glamourises the topic? That's a pretty difficult balance so I'm pretty much in awe of Juno Dawson for getting it almost spot on with their new novel Clean *raises hands in praise*.

The story features Lexi Volkov, the spoilt child of billionaire Russian parents living the high life in London. But when your party hard lifestyle includes a toxic cocktail of booze, pills, coke and heroin it's bound to catch up with you eventually - and when it does it's really going to hurt. So when Lexi's brother realises how far gone his sister is he packs her off to the best treatment facility available. As Lexi begins to sober up she realises how much of her life revolves around her addiction - so how can she be the same person if she's clean?

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this novel. I loved how compelling the writing was (it really is excellently written) and how engrossed I quickly became in the storyline. Despite how many of the characters initially seemed to be shallow, vain and self absorbed I really liked how setting the majority of the book in a rehab facility allowed for a deep exploration into the reasons for their behaviour. I thought it was great that other types of addictions were written about (this must be one a very few number of YA books featuring a teenage sex addict) and I especially liked that one of the characters just happened to be trans, one was black, one was Islamic - but that they were fleshed out to be a three dimensional people with multi-faceted issues (not just token bits of piecemeal representation) that all fitted with the main storyline. This is diverse representation done well.

Initially I found it hard to like Lexi. Her spoilt, poor little rich girl act was especially irritating and I hated that she was beautiful, intelligent, massively privileged and still expected to live her destructive, hedonistic lifestyle regardless of the consequences. However, there was something compelling about her bravado and as the story progressed I began to understand that her life wasn't as glamorous as it first appeared. As she became more self reflective, it was easy to see how her attitude was her security blanket and that underneath she was lonely, scared and surrounded by people who just wanted to use her. By the end of the book I was totally team Lexi ☺.I

I liked the way that the author didn't say away from the realities of sobering up from drug addiction (at one point Lexi wakes up to find she's shit the bed) and her resistance to any kind of help or support felt completely authentic. Her toxic relationship with her boyfriend back in London also felt very realistic and although I wasn't too keen on the whole symbolic act of finding a young stallion and breaking it in (literally - the couple who run the rehab centre keep horses) I did at least like the horse as a character and found he gave a bit of light relief. I liked that Juno Dawson included some characters who were too far gone to be saved and I thought that she brilliantly illustrated the complex emotional/mental health problems that go hand in hand with addictive behaviour.

However, I did have a few reservations about the novel. There's a relationship featuring the aforementioned sex addict that made me wonder "is this minimising the issue?" and there was a distinct lack of medical complications resulting from addiction (anything from depression and anxiety to unwanted pregnancy, STDs, HIV etc.) I think that part of the reason that the characters mostly seemed to get off lightly in relation to further complications was their monied backgrounds - if they had been ordinary people they would have needed to resort to theft/violence/prostitution to keep their habits going.

I wasn't sure about the ending (I know it's YA but everything seemed a bit too perfect) although I appreciated the realism of Lexi's struggle when she left the facility.

Overall I really enjoyed Clean. I thought that Dawson nailed the diverse representation angle, the characters were totally believable and although parts of it were a bit trite there was enough shocking content to not glamorize addiction. On a personal note, I have a friend who has just left rehab so the book really struck a chord with me. Despite it being a work of fiction, it's honestly made me far more aware of how rehab works and what support might be necessary going forwards. Fingers crossed ☺.

I really struggled with this book to start with. At the beginning of this year my aim was to read more YA fiction and I’ve really enjoyed the few YA books that I’ve read so far this year. Clean centres around Lexi Volkov, a teen socialite with a drug problem. The start of the novel felt a little forced and stereotypical of rich kids but the themes of drugs, relapse and identity really made the book a worthwhile read. I love that YA fiction is talking about the hard topics in a way that’s accessible and by the end of the book I was really rooting for Lexi.

Mental health problems are still so poorly understood. There is very little funding for treatment, and society still has a ‘get over it’ attitude. We need more books like Clean to show the world what they are really like.

Addiction, like so many other mental health problems, is enduring, complex and often impossible to ‘cure’. It is something that sufferers must learn to live with, often for their entire lives. They battle it each and every day, with an immesurable strength that so many ‘healthy’ people could only envy.

The Lexi Volkov we meet at the beginning of Clean is not a likable character. She does not seem strong, she does not seem kind, and she certainly does not want to change. This is what most people see when they look at an addict. Wreckless behaviour, no care for consequences and the drive to do anything for one more hit.

And yet…there is something that draws you in. She has a spark of humour that charms you. The early chapters are shrouded in mystery, and despite being written from the perspective of this selfish girl, you want to keep turning the pages. Turn them I did. I read quickly, but this story was over in a flash. It’s not a short book, but I just couldn’t put it down.

I believe using the first person perspective is key to the success of this book. It goes back to that understanding which is so often lacking when we look at addiction in real life. Clean tells us about the addiction from within the very mind of the addict.

No matter how much you listen, there’s nothing quite like experiencing an addiction first hand. The way Dawson explains Lexi’s using, withdrawal and cravings drags you along for the ride with her, whether you want it or not. Dawson doesn’t shy away, at one point describing a fellow addict as ‘slimy’ due to the various bodily fluids pouring out of him as he tries not to use. It is visceral. It is the perfect way to show the reader what life as an addict is like.

Clean is out now and I highly recommend you get to your local bookstore immediately. Educate yourself, entertain yourself and support this brilliant author’s incredibly important work. Clean is addictive. You’ll laugh, cry, laugh again, scream at Lexi (maybe even out loud) and praise her all within the same four pages.

A hard hitting book about abuse and addiction, that does not shrink from giving details about how addictions can be all consuming. . Some graphic descriptions of taking drugs and what it feels like to go Cold Turkey. The young people in the story are mainly from extremely wealthy backgrounds , so have easy access to drugs , alcohol and sex. They go to an island which is a very up market rehabilitation unit and face their demons. By the very nature of the book the characters are not very likeable, but I did develop real sympathy for them.

SPOILERS BELOW:

Is it ironic to say I was addicted to this book?

Clean follows Lexi, a girl who comes from a rich background, basically a teen socialite who is addicted to drugs, and the steps she takes within rehab -where she is placed by her brother after almost dying- to get over said addiction.

Through the process she meets and makes new friends. The more outstanding ones are Kendall who is trans and suffers from anorexia, and Brady who's a sex addict. There's also Ruby who suffers with her weight, Guy, Saif, and Sasha.

All these characters have a lot to learn from one another and their stories/issues are made to feel so real and poignant. You really feel the steps they have to go through, especially Lexi. She's a privileged white girl who has money to throw around without a care in the world, with a boyfriend who basically uses her as a "cash cow" (her own words) and is also her drug dealer. She struggles with her addiction but she's also fighting other demons, such as past ones.

It makes you think about what people with addictions go through, how it all started, what was the trigger, and that not everyone can get clean or even want to.

I adore Lexi's character, she says what she wants and does what she wants but still manages to learn and grow. She's open about a lot of things including sex, and is very aware of her body in that respect. I also love Brady, he's shows his fears and shares and is honest. And Kendall has to be one of my favourites, a trans character which doesn't focus on that one factor which would seem obvious but another that is actually an issue: I.e. Anorexia.

Reading this you feel a range of emotions: shock, sadness, sympathy, also relief and joy. But also realness. I have to say, I loved it.

Brilliant! It reminded me of Junk by Melvin Burgess for the insta generation. Amazing characters and a heart breaking story, I will happily sell Juno Dawson to anyone and everyone!

"Why is it that, sooner or later, everyone disappoints you? Everyone slips off their pedestal eventually."

When I saw Clean get announced on twitter, I knew straight away that this was a story I needed to read. I've never read a Juno Dawson book before, but for years I have followed and adored her on social media, and so many other authors and bloggers and general bookish people I follow, would rave about every new book, blog post or article this woman writes, so I knew that I had to give her a shot. And I'm so, so, so glad that Clean was my first foray into the bookish world of Juno Dawson.

Lexi Volkov, socialite, fashionista, and drug addict, is convinced she doesn't have a problem. Okay, she does the odd drug now and then, but she's not reliant on them, she doesn't need them to survive like those people you read about in the news or see on Jeremy Kyle. But when she nearly overdoses, Lexi is forced to confront her problems, and in doing so, she learns so much about herself.



Of course, this book requires a plethora of trigger warnings. Honestly, I couldn't list them all, that would take me quite a while, but you definitely need to be aware that this book is full of things that could trigger people. A quick run through of some of the things included in this book includes; OCD, anorexia, over-eating, and even sex addiction, all of which are tackled (in my opinion) brilliantly.

Okay, so, where to begin?

Lexi is, at the start of the book, a spoiled brat, unsure of how to spend her money, invited to every party in town, and trying (and failing) to gain the attention of her estranged parents. Typical rich-kid. When we first meet her, she's passed out in the back of her brothers car, having come as close to an overdose as you can get, without actually doing just that. And her brother, well he's had enough, and is trying to get her some help.

Determined to prove that she has a problem, Lexi's brother takes her to a rehabilitation center for the rich and famous, where Lexi must follow a 10-step process in order to overcome her problems. But Lexi is stubborn, and it takes more than a little convincing to persuade her that she needs to be there. What follows is a story of self-discovery that was incredible to work through.

Juno did a fantastic job of creating fleshed-out realistic characters, each with their own personal struggles and disorders. She tackles a wide variety of problems, from sex and drug addiction, to issues regarding food, and in doing so, a band of strong, realistic people is formed. The most fleshed out character was definitely Lexi, who as the protagonist, began as an annoying character I couldn't have cared less about. I don't know if that's the way in which I deal with the idea of drug addiction, but because I have never tried drugs, and I very rarely drink, I found myself unable to connect with the Lexi we first meet. Yet as the story progressed, and Lexi opens up about herself and her addictions, I found myself caring about what happened to her, willing her to pull through and not fall off the wagon.

And I think (as I've so often said before) that if a character is flawed, and not in an overly dramatic way, then I tend to like that character more. There were a couple of things I hated about Lexi, but there were plenty of things that I adored, and the good certainly outweighs the bad.

When it comes to the other characters, each of them were so unique and added a different dynamic, I couldn't help but adore each and every one of them as well. With each relationship within the group being expanded upon, and slowly growing throughout Lexis treatment, I found myself emotionally invested in everyone we met (bar a couple of people I won't deign to mention). And speaking of relationships, the romance side of things was well explored, if a little cliche. Of course, you could see this coming a mile off, after all, one of the characters is described as insanely attractive, and Lexi is undeniably attracted to him, yet will all things in this novel, it's not as simple as it seems. But given the chance, I would have preferred Lexi to realise she didn't need to rely on someone else to fix herself. After all, her problems started with a boy, and okay, she learns to love herself and fight her addictions, but I feel like she could have just proved she didn't need someone else to love her in the meantime.

Overall, I adored this book, and highly recommend picking this up. Clean was my first foray into Juno Dawson's writing, and I'm so glad I started with this one. A fantastic story of self-discovery and character building, if you don't mind all the trigger warnings, it's worth the read.

Really enjoyed this easy, informative read. The main and subsidiary characters are developed well and the message of hope comes through despite all setbacks.

Thank you to netgalley.co.uk for sending me a copy of this novel in exchange for an honest review.

From the minute I received the email advertising this novel, I was hooked by the description. However, some of the content may be upsetting to some readers so I would be prepared if you want to read this.

This book ended up not being what I thought I thought it would be when it was compared to the gossip girl series I just assumed it would feature young teenagers with way too much money and this would be quite a light, fluffy read, however, I was wrong about this book. The writing was terrific; the book ended up being quite gritty, hard-hitting and raw, I found myself beginning to care for the main character, Lexi, a Russian heiress living in London, something I didn't think would happen when I first downloaded this book. I thought the author did a great job with Lexi's characterisation, at first glance, she is not exactly a likeable character, which in my opinion can make for an interesting read sometimes. I found it interesting how her character evolves throughout the novel and I loved seeing that growth. The only reason this book doesn't get five stars is that the last bit of the book was very rushed, it was almost like the author had just run out of room to write a proper ending, to be honest I would have been happy to read on for much longer and have seen a proper end to the novel as we all know, mental health cannot be tied up that quickly in real life.

This is the first novel I've read by Juno Dawson, and it definitely won't be my last. The tagline of this one is what caught my eye - 'Gossip Girl meets Girl Interrupted' - it definitely rings true.

Clean follows Lexi, an heir to a multi-billion pound hotel company, owned by her father. She's a socialite, an it-girl - someone who wants for nothing. But, that comes with its fair share of problems. Clean is about Lexi's journey with addiction and those surrounding her - family, friends and love interests.

Lexi is a formidable protagonist. She is privileged, spoilt and lives a life of luxury. She is witty, can throw comebacks like a knife and has a wardrobe to die for. She is also vulnerable, in denial and dealing with a toxic relationship. I loved her! Juno Dawson wrote the perfect character to go on this journey with - she was ballsy, fierce and powerful yet had a softer innocence to her.

Clean deals with teen addiction in a no-bullshit, hard hitting way. It deals with mental health, anxiety, relationships, love, sex and everything in between. I would recommend this book, although I would say there are a lot of potential triggers, as this book deals with so many sensitive issues.

Overall, a great read- fast paced, gritty, a little dark in places, but with strong messages of determination and the power of self belief.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for sending me an ARC of this release.

This is not a book that skirts the issue of drugs; Clean doesn't shy away from the horrors of addiction, it confronts them head on and the book is better for that. Main character Lexi goes on a transformative journey that isn't without it's false starts and hiccups; she is a snob, a spoilt b***h, but also vulnerable and kind. Despite dealing with dark issues, there's a lot of humour in the pages and the banter between characters sounded pitch perfect. The pop culture references are spot on too. By the end of the book, I sympathised with the changed Lexi and wondered how she'd deal with life on the other side of her addiction. A truly great read.

Juno continues to develop her writing skills in this latest book. It's extremely well written and feels like the characters are properly understood. She writes characters who are very relatable, and deals with issues like addictions, gender, mental health and death, I'm another Juno fan, from the days of reading 'Hollow Pike' to daughters, to reading them now for personal pleasure and professional interest as a librarian.

Juno Dawson is one of those names that is synonymous with hard hitting YA genre and whilst I have a copy of every book that she has written they are all languishing away on my never ending TBR pile. Why? Because I am a hopeless bibliophile but that is beside the point. The actual point is that I recently read Clean, the latest book from Dawson which has her tackling the issue of drugs.

In what can be described as Junk for a Kardashian era, Dawson setting of an offshore rehab facility is the perfect place to have the drama of Lexi’s life unfold. Lexi is an upcoming IT girl. However, her privileged upbringing has landed her in trouble. She is, for want of a better word, an addict. Forced into rehab by her brother we watch as Lexi struggles to accept that she has a problem.

Dawson’s delivery in Clean is really clever. She manages to make the reader feel very detached from Lexi at the beginning of the book. You don’t go into the story rooting for her but gradually as Lexi comes to accept herself more, so does the reader. What is also fascinating is the way that Dawson doesn’t sugar coat the withdrawal process. Although Clean is a YA novel, she makes sure that you understand the horrific pain addicts go to when they are on the come down. It is reminiscent of A Million Little Pieces by James Frey but infinitely more - ironically - addictive to read.

I will be bumping up the other Juno Dawson books to a higher position on my TBR pile.

Clean by Juno Dawson is available now.

For more information regarding Juno Dawson (@junodawson) please visit www.junodawson.com.

For more information regarding Hachette Children’s Group (@HachetteKids) please visit www.hachettechildrens.co.uk.

For more information regarding Quercus Children’s Group (@QuercusKids) please visit their Twitter page.

I’ve not read a book by Juno Dawson before and after reading Clean I want to read everything she has ever written! I absolutely loved this book, each of the characters the plot everything!
I went into this book thinking it was going to be a typical YA with angst ridden characters all just trying to find themselves and making daft mistakes along the way and don’t get me wrong this book was about those things. But this book is beautifully written so all those traditional tropes seem softer and less abrasive than they are in other books. You read this book and you really do feel for the characters and what they’re going through.
I learnt so much about the different types of issues these characters were all going through from how it feels to come off drugs and I mean how it really feels there are no punches pulled in those descriptions. To having all sorts of other addictions including food, sex, and OCD. Each of these things was treated with complete respect and weren’t there simply to create a more interesting narrative. There is some delicately done trans representation as well that showed me things that I just had no clue about but again done in such a balanced way.
Juno Dawson somehow manages to write something that is at the same time raw and gritty but also beautiful and elegant. I have no idea how she does this but I just want to read more from her immediately!
Overall I loved this book and I recommend it to everyone young and old just to give you some added perspective on things that otherwise are shoved under the carpet or ignored as being too messy. Everyone should read this book!