I just didn't find this an engaging story, I felt the beginning was confusing, and I didn't finish it

I don't read as much contemporary or even young adult fiction, as I read adult fantasy, but when I heard about Cait's book I immediately requested a review copy. I read it in one sitting. It is gripping and gut-wrenching.

I really enjoyed my read, but I must point out just how dark this is. A Thousand Perfect Notes is the story of Beck and Beck really hates his life. Beck grew up with an abusive mother. Beck's mother is a monster. She's a human being, broken by life, bitter and sad. I feel sorry for Beck's mother, but that does not change the fact Beck is being abused every single day. The abuse is described in detail by C. G. Drews. The author does not shy away from it, and while I personally think it's handled extremely well, and in a realistic way, I also do think it could be triggering for some.

Beck is a musician, an artist. I fell in love with his character. August is a girl full of life. I was worried she'd be too much and over the top, but it turned out that she's the perfect character to pair Beck with.

The prose is very much Cait, vivid and descriptive. If you read her blog @ Paperfury, you're familiar with her style. Sometimes, I found the metaphors a bit much, but overall I quite enjoyed it.

I recommend A Thousand Perfect Notes to everyone who loves contemporary young adult, or enjoys Cait's blog. Ultimately, it has the most terrifying antagonist/villain, I've ever encountered in YA fiction. Evil Queens have nothing on Beck's mother.

"He slams the keys and they howl with Chopin's chaos instead of his own"

* * * * 
4 / 5

A Thousand Perfect Notes is not the kind of book that I typically pick up - a YA romance with a focus on abuse - mostly because I'm not a romance reader and reading books about abuse is typically quite depressing. And this book was dark, but it also had a good splash of hope. 

"Isn't sixteen for kissing boys and driving cars and deciding on your future of possibilities?"

I picked this one up almost primarily because it was written by a blogger that I have followed for a couple of years - C. G. Drews aka Paper Fury - and she seemed seriously excited! My interest continued to be caught by part of the premise: it's about a guy, Beck, who plays the piano expertly but hates it. As a child, I too hated playing the piano (though I did want to be good at it, just, like, without any of the effort). The difference between me and Beck is that Beck's mother is horrendously emotionally and physically abusive. Which sucks for him, big time.

Beck is so focused on trying to please his abominable mother and trying to shield his younger sister from her wrath, that he doesn't have a single friend. Until he is paired up in English class with enthusiastic, hippyish, and persistent August. August, who seems to genuinely want to get to know him; August, who's family is normal and kind; August, who he absolutely cannot be friends with because his mother would go insane.

"He's not a shell of a pianist - he's a composer. Cut his chest and see his heart beat with a song all his own"

Beck is a really complex, conflicted character. He has music in his head, in his soul, and he knows that he cannot live without it but dear God he hates practicing the piano and performing on stage with the shadow of his mother looming over his every move. It would be very hard not to feel for Beck. But I do think A Thousand Perfect Notes overdoes it on the darkness and the tension - I was constantly on edge whilst reading this book, which made it hard to relax when something nice was happening. The main point of humour in the book was "witty banter" between August and Beck, some of which hit the mark perfectly and some of which was pretty cringeworthy. 

A Thousand Perfect Notes is a difficult read. It's about love and family and friendship and abuse and it really ramps up the emotions. 

My thanks to Netgalley, the publisher, and the author for an ARC of A Thousand Perfect Notes

I'll admit I was scared to read this book. Not because of what it's about, but because of who wrote it. Cait has been a dear friend of mine for a few years new and I've beta read for her before. So I was scared to read this book because what if I don't like it? Or will people think I'm biased? But of course I had to read it. And I was careful to be just as critical with this book as I am with all others. And it still exceeded all expectations I could possibly have. A Thousand Perfect Notes is nothing short of excellent.

First of all, I have to start with a warning. This book gets dark, people. Very dark. It's an insanely intense and dark read at times so go in prepared. It's about abuse, so I'm throwing a trigger warning here for that.

I wanted to list my negatives first but honestly I can't think of any so I'm just going to skip to flailing about this book like an insane person. First, the writing. OH MY GOD THE WRITING. I mean I have read things from the author before and they were always beyond amazing but the writing in this book is just stellar. Above excellent. I was hooked right from the start and Beck and his story had me clinging to the pages until it was over. So yeah, I read it in one spectacular sitting in which I laughed and cried and gasped and cried some more. The emotions leap off the pages and honestly? It's been a while since I've read a book that was this gripping and had such an impact on me.

Beck is such a precious boy and it's hard not to feel for him right from the start. His home situation is downright miserable. His mom is one of the most awful parents I've come across in YA and I just wanted to slap her to be honest. She tries to live out her dream through him and is so demanding and negative and obsessive towards him that even I felt the pressure of it on my shoulders. And Beck just takes it and he's so kind-hearted and gentle and he adores his younger sister Joey. It was so sad to see him suffer and try to keep August at a distance because he was so scared of what his mother might do to him for having a friend. For having a life of his own.

August on the other hand was so full of life and unique and I liked her instantly. She's a bit quirky and she has like a million dogs at home and she tries to get Beck out of his shell and their friendship was so wonderful it might my heart happy. Is there a romance? Yes, kind of? But it's very slow-burning and sweet and it doesn't "cure" anything at all. So I was very pleased with that.

Overall... A Thousand Perfect Notes is one of the most explosive and excellent debuts I've ever read and I'm so proud of my friend, who is so extraordinarily talented. This is one book you have to read, for sure.

A Thousand Perfect Notes was stunning. It made me cry and broke my heart. Even when it pieced it back together again my chest still ached. It is an emotionally driven, masterfully written debut that exceeded all of my expectations.

Beck's life is miserable. He is forced to play the piano for hours on end by his mother, a once talented pianist whose career was shattered after a stroke. She forces expectations onto Beck that he can never meet, and as a result Beck internalises his own true aspirations. But all of that changes when he befriends August. Where Beck is described as a toasted marshmallow, August is orange peels and wildflowers and sunshine and lemonade. With her in his life, Beck starts to feel a little more brave.

The descriptions of the people and the food and the music in this book were incredibly vivid. It was like I could see the characters in front of me, taste the cake they were eating and hear their music in my mind. I could feel the passion and emotion that filled these characters and the writing made everything feel dreamy and lucid all at once.

The conflict inside Beck was so intense. The piano is torture for him, but it is also his life. He refuses to be anything like his abusive mother, but music lives inside of him. There are worlds of turmoil inside these characters and Drews explores them beautifully.

With a magical writing style and tragically hopeful characters, A Thousand Perfect Notes is a powerful tale.


Thank you to Netgalley for providing me an ebook copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Warnings: blood, violence, child abuse, physical abuse, domestic abuse

Content warning: Child abuse, self-harm (or thoughts about it).

Caveat time (we all love caveat time, don’t we?). I don’t tend to read this genre, it’s not my preferred kind of read so all my perceptions are going to be slightly skewed as a result. Obviously, it wouldn’t be fair to just roll with my own biases and to write a negative review (especially since I did enjoy the book). So, I’ve tried to write this and to view the book without letting too much of my own biases colour this, either the fact that I am slightly acquainted with the author or the fact that I don’t typically read this kind of book.

I had a couple of concerns going into this book. One was that it was going to be a little too harrowing if that makes sense? Sometimes books that explore child abuse can feel very voyeuristic and that makes me somewhat uncomfortable. In this book, there are some graphic descriptions of the child abuse that Beck undergoes which will make readers uncomfortable. However, it never feels as though this is being shared for entertainment value, so I think a good balance was struck.

My other concern was for the character of August, that she would be another example of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl (MPDG) trope which is so overdone. Other people all over the internet have summarised the issues with this trope far better than I ever could so if you don’t know about this I would highly recommend doing a quick search and seeing what you find.

While you’re there I would also suggest listening to my lovely friend Reesha’s song by the same name, she makes me chuckle.

Anyway, back to the point. In a lot of ways August is a MPDG, she ticks a lot of those boxes. I think it’s subverted to an extent, and August certainly gets her moments to show who she is as a character. I think it’ll depend on what mindset you read it in, and how you interpret some of the dialogue as to whether August is a MPDG or not? But isn’t that kind of the fun thing about books, that we all read them differently? Magical. *Fills the air with glitter*.

It’s a third person narrative that reads very poetically at times (ok quite a lot of the time) which, again is something that you should decide for yourself if you enjoy. I believe it fits with the character, adding to his introverted, repressed creative side.

Be prepared to get very sad (I wept, but I cry at everything), because this book goes to some dark places. However, there are some very hopeful moments (and also dogs) which I think helps to lift it from that sense of voyeurism that I mentioned earlier to being a complete story. Again, a personal thing, but having grown up in a very musical family and still being very musical myself (a reminder that if you’re in Edinburgh at the end of August you can come see the musical I’m composing for) those moments of music really spoke to me.

Should you read this? If you’re in the right place to read this I would definitely recommend. As a community, we’ve been burned somewhat by big personalities online getting publishing deals but in this instance, I think it is definitely a match made in…if not heaven then somewhere nearby.

My rating: 4/5 stars

I received a digital advanced review copy of this book from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.

This review appears on Goodreads. My book blog is currently on hiatus due to university finals, but I'm hoping to cross-post it when I can. I imagine it'll get removed from Amazon because I know the author, though, so I don't think I'll be able to post it there (sorry). My exams finish the day it comes out, though, so I'll def be raving about it then!

---

I was extremely apprehensive about reading this. I mean -- excited! Definitely excited! I requested it without even hesitating when I saw it on NetGalley. But then the pressure kicked in, and I began to get seriously nervous about reading it. I put it off. I kept telling myself I was waiting until nearer the release date.

The truth is: when you've known someone more than five years (and Facebook said Cait and I became FB friends five years ago yesterday), and you've talked about books and characters until the cows come home, and then their debut gets published... well, I can't speak for anyone else, but I found it anxiety-inducing. I've read some of Cait's work before, mostly early drafts, but I hadn't read this one. What if I didn't like it? What if I had to write a negative or at least middling review of it?!

I didn't think I could handle that. Especially when I knew she'd read whatever I said. (Hi, Cait.)

So I put it off. Again, and again. I felt bad, because hey, I had a chance to read it before publication and at this rate I wasn't going to get there, but I made excuses. I was too busy with uni to have the brainpower to commit to it (not untrue). It doesn't come out until June, so I should wait (also valid). I knew that when I eventually did read it, I wouldn't tell Cait I was doing so until I was a decent way through the book, and also that I wouldn't add it to Goodreads until I was done. It was the only way I could manage it.

Finally, on the coach on the way to a dance competition, I decided to read it. To distract myself. That turned out to be a terrible idea, because this book is Not Relaxing At All. Also, it deals quite a lot with performance anxiety specifically, so that did nothing to distract me from my own performance anxiety. (I don't really know why I thought it would. Not the smartest choice on my part.)

Also, as someone who used to play music and can no longer really do so because of hand injuries...

I might've cried on a coach. Quite a lot. When I was only, like, 15% of the way through the book. It wasn't pretty.

Anyway, I had to put the book away because of motion sickness, though I did break my own promise and tell Cait I was reading it and that she'd made me cry. I was planning to read the rest that night, but then I had a terrible day, and then I was too exhausted, so it took until the following evening for me to pick it up again. I told myself I wasn't going to read the whole thing because (a) I'm meant to be doing uni work and (b) finishing it would mean I was obliged to try and write a review and as previously mentioned, I wasn't entirely sure I was going to be able to handle that.

I finished it and I have no idea how to write a review.

So here are a few things:

* It's good. It's really freaking good. Like, it's emotionally good, but it's also really well-written. I highlighted a million lines just because I liked them.
* I cried or nearly-cried half a dozen times.
* Cait somehow made me care about a romance. Not only a romance, but a hetero romance. What. How. I call witchcraft.
* This hit a bunch of really specific feeling spots for me, some of which I didn't actually know were there in the first place.
* If you like sibling relationships you will also cry while reading this book.
* Beck's mum is awful and yet ... I somehow still felt like I understood her. She wasn't a one-dimensional villain. And maybe that's just my own 'can't play music anymore so I compensate by channelling that into other stuff' feelings coming through (although I hope I channel it more positively than she does), but it made the whole thing so much more emotional.
* You can tell it's Australian, but it's easily comprehensible and nobody drives a ute. To my great relief. I still remember when I was beta-reading for Cait and had to occasionally ask whether something was a typo or whether that was, in fact, an Australian word. About 80% of the time it was the latter.
* Even though he's never mentioned in the book, it made me want to listen to Shostakovich, which is a very specific Musical Angst mood.
* (My only complaint is that there should've been some Shostakovich.) (No Musical Angst is complete without Shostakovich.)

I don't even know what else I can say about this.

It comes out the day I sit my last ever university exam. I will probably celebrate by going to a bookshop and buying a physical copy because I need one in my life. You should do the same.

It's not often that you find a book that haunts you but from the very first line of the book I couldn't leave it alone. I usually find myself skim-reading but with this I was hooked on every word.
Excuse the overly effusive praise but this felt like a favourite song that you can't help savouring over and over and it kept on resonating long after I'd finished.

Beck is a fifteen year old boy who hates his life. His mother was a famous classical pianist and she demands that he follow in her footsteps. She is tyrannical, obsessive and violent in her insistence that he be 'note perfect' with each recital. She spends all of their money on forcing him to become her protégée when all he wants is to disappear.
He has no friends, no hobbies and no hope. The only joy in his life is his sister, Joey, until the arrival of August- a girl he has seen from afar but never spoken to until they are forced to do a project together.
August brings light into his life and shows him that he is not the pathetic failure he has been made to believe.

There should be trigger warnings for abuse, both physical and mental and for neglected children.
Beck's story is brilliantly woven, you can feel his desperation and fears as he fights against becoming like his mother. The mother is at once a monster and pitiable figure, human but you can feel how she looms so large in Beck's head so as to be a giant.
Joey is a delightful sprite, but there are glimpses into her PTSD as she tries to block out what is happening to her brother.
August is fantastically portrayed as a hippy child full of love for broken things but passion and a new kind of experience for Beck.

I devoured this book but found myself at odd times just living inside his head, wondering if he was okay and empathizing with Beck. It stayed with me after I'd finished, and the 'book hangover' was real.
I loved it and honestly think it's one of the best books I've read this year.

Read this as included in the May Illumicrate. Really heartbreaking read yet some lovely touching moments with both the siblings & August. Think the Illumicrate customers will love it!

A Thousand Perfect Notes is a story of music, abuse, sorrow, and a little bit of hope. For a contemporary, it's fast-paced while remaining very character driven. It was so easy to see the author's passion for piano, for her characters, and for writing in this novel, making it a compulsive read, even if it's emotionally very heavy.

I'm sure practically the whole book blogging community is dying to read this, and literally every single thing Cait writes. She's done everyone who has followed her reading and writing journey proud.

Such an emotionally-charged and intense read! Characters are vivid and engaging from the start. The reader feels immediate involvement and attachment with Beck and Joey, real concern for them, and hope and anxiety for their future.. Heart-wrenching and tragic, yet also uplifting. Beautifully written. Absolutely 5 stars.

It was really really good. An excellent debut. There was one thing that irritated me throughout the book however. The fact that I had no idea where it was set until the name of Beck's uncle's tour was given, which then gave it away. I think that is my only criticism and it is definitely an excellent read.

A beautiful story about pain and domestic abuse, but with a tingle of hope at times.

I liked this book a lot, the story was well written and the characters had personality,I would recommend this to my friends

I have never read a book where the main character is a pianist who spends all of his time dedicated to it. In other words, he was forced to spend every minute of his waking moments practicing and polishing his skills by his own mother which leads him to a nonexistent social skills and he’s barely even passing school. His life literally revolves around the piano.

This book deals with abuse within a family, angst, discovering yourself and opening up to others. Beck owes it to his teacher for getting paired up for an assignment with August. Because if not then, he wouldn’t had the chance to get to know her better and slowly fall in love with her. Also, I just love how protective Beck is with his sister, Joey that she he would do anything to keep her safe and unscathed.

I had a mediocre expectation when I went into this story but in the end, I’m left with awe, rage and wonder by the way the author has skillfully written an emotional yet beautiful story. C.G. Drews is definitely up on my author’s radar and I cannot wait to know more and read all the next stories that she has in store for us, readers next.

I didn't know what to expect from this book, only that I sincerely believed it would be amazing. AND IT WAS. Cait has created the most heartbreaking, ultimately hopeful story and paired it with the most cinnamon roll characters possible. The characters are the BEST part. Some I passionately hate, some I passionately loved, but I had such honest reactions to all of them because they seem so REAL. Beck was so fragile but also very strong, and I loved the PURE LOVE he had for his little firecracker of a sister, Joey. Seeing him come out of his shell with help from August, the Best Person Ever™, was one of the highlights of the book.

The writing is gorgeous, and Cait is able to effortlessly portray both scenes of abuse, and scenes of witty banter. This book was both funny and completely heartbreaking, but never seemed jarring. I felt like I was watching the plot play out in real time, and I couldn't turn the pages fast enough!

All in all, if you want a contemporary that hits you in the gut with honesty and meaningfulness and emotions, pick up this book. WHAT AN AMAZING DEBUT.

I came across this book via Instagram as it's written by a popular bookstagrammer I follow, so I was intrigued about it and eager to give it a go when I came across it on Netgalley. The story follows Beck, a teen prodigy pianist whose mother, a famous ex-pianist, bullies him into the music to carry on the family name, and constantly abuses him. All the while, Beck is trying to protect his five-year-old sister, Joey, and ward off the insistent friendship of August, who is a shoe-hating, peace-loving dreadlock-wearing (though the author says that the dreadlocks won't exist in the non-ARC copy of the book) manic pixie dream girl. It's only right near the end of the story that she gets a bit more depth, a bit late for me.

The majority of the action in this story takes place in the last 15% of the book, so it felt a little rushed, and the constant abuse was too much for a book in this genre, I felt, but the story had potential. I wasn't a fan of the third person / present tense combination, which felt a bit off to me, a bit pre-published immature Wattpad, but I eventually got used to it.

I absolutely adored this book, it was beautiful from start to finish and is definitely one of the best debut novels I have ever read! I love the writing and found is so poetic!

This book may sound like a normal contemporary, but wow it deals with so much more. This took me on an emotional rollercoaster of both anger and joy. Beck is our protagonist, ruled by a controlling and abusive mum (this is where my anger comes in), he is forced to follow in her footsteps and play the piano professionally. Beck’s family struggle to get by, financially and emotionally. He is a troubled guy and he’s living a very different life to most boys at his age, isolated and controlled, he doesn’t have the freedom to enjoy his younger years. Immediately we have a main character that we care so much about, we can see his daily unhappiness and we want him to be free, to smile and laugh, we want to give him one big squish and make all the bad things go away. The key selling point of this book is the characters, so let's make this review about them. 

I always care about characters that are written well, but Beck’s story was different. He meets August who is a girl unlike the rest, she wants to break his shell and make him happy, she is unusual, fun and kind and she is what the reader wants most for Beck. She represents our hope for his happiness and for him to stand up to the abuse in his life. Ultimately August is the contrast of happiness to Beck’s misery; her parents are loving and kind, she is surrounded by her choices and she revels in her lifestyle. I’m so desperate for August to break Beck down and for him to let her in, I need Beck to be helped. 

I don’t think I’ve ever hated a character as much as I hate Beck’s mum, the Maestro. She is the most hideous parental figure I have read about, she easily tops the Dursley’s and Matilda’s parents on the hate scale. I cannot stand the way she treats her children, I am desperate for the smol humans to be loved and cuddled and fed. But they are forever trapped in this hellish nightmare. Well done Cait for making me despise this woman so much! I kept thinking maybe there was a chance of The Maestro's redemption, but then she kept being such a cow that no, that woman will never see a smile from me! Her title rather than the name mum already evokes fear in me, she is someone in control, some distinguished and respected - but she is not, she has expected to be given respect, not to earn it, this is her downfall. 

The plot for this book is very simple at its base - an unhappy boy in an unhappy household wants a normal life, he wants to smile and be free and be loved by more than just his sister, Joey. This simplicity captivated me, I lived for this book for the three days it took me to read it. The writing is beautiful and fun and feels like I'm reading a book written by a friend. If you don't know, the author is other wise known as PaperFury on her blog and social media, so her writting is already well known within the community. I loved diving into a whole book of Cait's, she my inspiration as a writer, she merges delirious happiness with terrifying sadness - not an easy thing to do and do well. 

Days after finishing this book I find myself making up the rest of Beck's story, I am desperate to know what happens to him after the book ends. Not every book stays with me after I finish reading it, but this one certainly has. I urge you to pick up a copy of this book once it is published, it truly is superb!

This was such a beautifully emotional book! It was so well written. I connected with it straight away! I’m so blown away with this and think everyone should read it! A full review will go up on my blog soon!

This was a very quick read for me, its a pretty slim book and I practically tore through it. There was so much emotion contained within these pages. I became quite attached to these characters very quickly. The main character, Beck, is very much a product of the abusive environment he lives in, he pushes everyone away because of the fear and insecurity his horrifying mother has beaten into him, however seeing his protective love for his little sister made me immediately root for him and desperately want his situation to improve. This book is so beautifully and powerfully written. The author has created multi-faceted characters that were burned into my mind. The running theme of music as both the tool of Beck’s oppression and his release is extremely effective. The reader does not have to understand the obsession with classical music because anyone can understand passion and extremes which is the real issue here.
This is not always a pleasant book to read. There are some truly horrible scenes and my heart absolutely broke for Beck and his sister, Joey. In some ways, it reminded me of another book I recently read which was Sing, Unburied, Sing by Jesmyn Ward. It also affected me deeply. The stories are not particularly similar but the emotion and devastation I felt whilst reading them was the same. I think A Thousand Perfect Notes is such an important read for young adults, it speaks volumes about how difficult getting out of an abusive situation can be and how friendship, or even simply kindness can change everything for someone.
Despite the intensity and sadness of the characters situation there are also moments of hope and light contained within this story. I thought the relationship between Beck and August was beautifully written. She is the tough and idealistic force of good that enters his life unexpectedly and changes everything for him but it never feels cliché or predictable. Their relationship is subtle and careful but also powerful and optimistic.
Overall I loved this novel, I did not want it to end and could have read so much more about these characters. I became very emotional reading A Thousand Perfect Notes and I cried several times during it, which is something I do not often do whilst reading. It is a powerful story that is written in a direct and sensitive manner. I will be looking forward to any further work from this new to me author. I would really recommend this book to anyone but especially young people who are struggling under any kind of pressure.