Grab your tissues because you will need them when reading this book .

Audreys daughters lily and Jess are estranged and her teenage granddaughters Mia (Jess’s daughter) and Phoebe ( lily’s daughter) have never met. Audrey’s greatest wish is that they can all become a family again.

The events which occurred in 1988 has caused a deep rift which has continued for decades. I must admit I was completely wrong in my guess of what happened on that day and was shocked to find out the real events which were revealed half way through the book.

This book moves back and forth between the 1980’s and the present. I loved how it was told from the three womans perspective.

A mother’s selfless love for her children is beautifully explored in the book.

The unimaginable moral dilemma at the heart of this book is enough to have you questioning what you would do in such a situation and hoping you will never have to find out.

I was thinking of this book long after I had finished it. It reinforces that life is short, we must hold our loved ones close, try not to hold grudges and forgive mistakes and misunderstandings.

Thank you to Hannah Beckerman for such a compelling page turner. Also thank you to netgalley and the publishers for my chance to read this fantastic emotional book.

I liked this book, but I didn't love it. This will be a spoiler free review.

I had so many guesses for what happened that summer. Some uneventful, some downright chilling. I was miles off when the reveal did come halfway through the book.

I loved the multi narrative aspect of the book. It was done seamlessly and with fantastic effect.

I didn't warm to Jess at all. I found her irritating, selfish, and completely uncaring of her daughter's wishes. She was my least favourite character of this book, and I often found myself skimming over her chapters.

I also found her way of thinking odd at the best of times. I couldn't understand how she thought Lily was solely responsible for the hardships her family had been through.

I should not have started this book before bedtime because then bedtime ended up being 4am with an alarm set so I could wake up and immediately finish reading this. This book covers so much: Family, friendship, love, loos, grief and honesty. I really didn't know which direction this book was going to turn in next, there is just so much depth and so many hidden messages throughout the novel.

I loved the family featured in the novel. Audrey is mother to Lily and Jess and grandmother to Mia (Jess's daughter) and Phoebe (Lily's daughter). I love the fact that Audrey's pattern of two daughters is repeated with her having two granddaughters. They live so close to each other and yet are so far apart in so many ways. Although Audrey is the lynch pin of the story, the majority of the time we either see things from Jess's perspective or Lily's but we do sometimes have an Audrey narrative as well, just to add another layer to the events that unfold.

There is so much grief and loss in this novel in so many different ways and I love the fact that this author shows how loss can affect people so differently and in just so many ways that may not become clear until a long while after the fact. We know that it can affect life choices and either bring people together or drive them apart. And then there is the loss that we can experience even when nobody has died, the loss that we experience through rifts in families or marriages and all of this is explored so tenderly and so beautifully in this novel. I expected to cry a lot but I didn't because I was marvelling at the clever way Hannah Beckerman has woven this novel with its layers and its mirroring of feelings and events, it really is a spectacle.

I loved the setting of this story with so much of it taking place in one corner of London. It was easy to picture and easy to imagine these characters placed in that setting. There definitely is a care warning for grief and loss in this novel so make sure you are in the right place to do so before picking this one up. These characters became very real to me as I was reading, their lives and their unique perspective of themselves and each other and I imagine that they will stay with me for a while to come. This is a beautiful novel so full of real life and so full of loss but in a very tender and sympathetic way. I definitely recommend adding this one to you TBR now.

Thanks to netgalley for an early copy in return for an honest review
A sweeping nostalgic story that really makes a huge impact wonderful storyline

Wow, what a beautiful touching story. The story of two sisters and their mum, shaped by one traumatic summer- something awful happened that summer but this is kept under wraps until about three quarters of the way through, and was not at all what I originally expected it to be. The trauma has shaped all of their lives for over thirty years, causing the sisters Jess and Lily to not speak to one another- for Jess holds such an anger inside her towards Lily, yet Lily is dumbfounded about what it is she has done. Their mum, Audrey, has terminal cancer and is refusing treatment- again as a result of what happened that fateful summer. The story of their lives and relationships was at once heartwarming, tender, loving, hateful, and hopeful. A beautifully told tale of family and love.

What happened on that morning in 1988 when ten year old Jess caught her 15 year old sister Lilly coming out of the spare bedroom? It was enough to fuel a rift between the two sisters which went on for decades.

When their mother Audrey becomes desperately ill, she moves in Jess and her grand daughter Mia due and vows to reunite the two sisters and their own daughter, Phoebe and Mia who have only met a handful of times.

I had read about a twist in the middle of the book, so was prepared for it, and I was completely convinced that I’d guessed what it was, but how wrong was I, and when I read it, I was floored by it!

The book tells you the family’s back story and then slowly, the truth is out there – for the last few pages I had tears rolling down my cheeks so have tissues at the ready for a beautifully told story.

Sisters Lily and Jess have been estranged for 30 years. Their fractured relationship appears beyond repair, as dark family secrets, tied up in misunderstanding and grief, keep the pair at stalemate. Their mother Audrey, struggling with her own demons, is desperate to reunite her family before it’s too late.

The story is told from the perspective of all three women. A series of flashbacks delve into the family’s heartbreaking past, and reveals the effect it has has on their own families.

If Only I Could Tell You is a compelling read, with likeable characters, clever twists and an interesting moral dilemma. It’s an emotional without being depressing, and I couldn’t put it down.

What a book! I couldn’t put this book down and it utterly gripped me.
It follows the story of two daughters and their mother and their fractured relationships. It was written from all three perpectives with flashbacks to the past and all three characters were likeable. Or became more likeable as slowly the story revealed itself. Honestly, I didn’t see where this story was going at all and it was heartbreaking and beautifully written. It will stay with me for a long time.

This could have been the bleakest of reads - death hangs in all its corners - yet it wasn’t; it was restorative and enjoyable.

It centres around two sisters, Lily and Jess, whose relationship has been fractured seemingly beyond repair. Their mother Audrey wants them to bury their differences before she dies.

But what is it that has torn them apart? I read with a creeping sense of dread, thinking I had figured out the reason the women hadn't spoken for years. I was oh so wrong though; the reveal came as a complete surprise.

Beckerman employs authentic dialogue and beautiful prose to explore one huge moral dilemma. The characterisation is very good and I particularly liked Audrey and Lily. Not once did the tension flag, but the novel gains its greatest power in the final chapters where all the threads of the story, including some excellent subplots, are tied up in a believable and most satisfying way.

What a talented writer Beckerman is. With difficult subject matter and three points of view to navigate, she has created a real page-turner that should have wide appeal. I am looking forward to reading more of her work.

With thanks to Netgalley and the publishers for the book in exchange for an honest review.
This is a story of a family which has secrets and heartbreak, misunderstandings and feuds. Two sisters who no longer speak, two cousins who are not supposed to meet and a mother who has terminal breast cancer.
At times the story is overwhelmingly sad and realistic and other times there is positivety and hope and optimism.
Highly recommended.

Great book.well written. Excellent story.
Thank you to both NetGalley and The publishers for my eARC copy of this book in exchange for my honest unbiased review

If I Could Only Tell You is an emotional roller coaster of a story and readers will be shedding tears over Audrey and her daughters Lily and Jess. Audrey is dying from cancer and all she wants is for Lily and Jess to stop warring with each other. Jess hasn't forgiven her older sister for something that happened 28 years before when they were children but neither Audrey nor Lily know what has caused Jess's animosity.

The story is told from the points of view of Audrey herself, Lily and Jess using flashbacks and the present day. The characters are beautifully portrayed, especially Audrey's teenage granddaughters Phoebe and Mia who have been forbidden to meet each other. Estranged Lily and Jess have completely misunderstood one another and Audrey herself has kept a dreadful secret from her family that unwittingly has caused the rift.

It would be easy to judge Audrey's actions but what would you do in her situation is the question readers are left with at the end. Hannah Beckerman has written the tearjerker of 2019. A box of tissues should be given with each copy. Readers of One Day, The Lovely Bones and The Time Travellers Wife will love If Only I Could Tell You. It's bound to be a huge success. Many thanks to NetGalley and Orion for the opportunity to read and review it.

If Only I Could Tell You by Hannah Beckerman is such a beautifully written and heartbreaking story. The ending transcends what we have come to expect from a tear jerking novel.
The story is told from three points of view, Audrey and her two daughters Jess and Lily and it moves between the present and 1988 when a traumatic incident occurs in the family.
The relationships between the three main characters are extremely complicated and Audrey is always torn between her daughters.
This book is about a family who are all painfully suffering in different ways but are each other’s cure.
I felt that the story was going one way and then was completely surprised when it veered into a completely different direction that I really didn’t see coming. The way Hannah writes and reveals the story is so subtle and delicate it’s almost like peeling back the petals of a beautiful rose.
This is the first of Hannah’s books that I’ve read and I shall now read her back catalogue.

Thank you to Orion and Hannah Bekkerman for the opportunity to read and review this book. If Only I Could Tell You delves into the uncomfortable space of end of life care. How far is too far to help those you love pass to the other side. For twins Jess and Zoe life throws a curve balls when Zoe is diagnosed with cancer at the age of 10. Can Jess ever forgive the family member who helped her along. An emotional, thought provoking book that will surprise you

Thanks Netgalley and the Publisher. This is a heart rending novel with a real twist at the end. I really loved it.

If Only I Could Tell You is a book I've been waiting to read for a long time, and it was worth the wait. Every bit as good as I hoped it would be. A beautiful story of family, love and loss.