Thanks to netgalley for an early copy in return for an honest review
A sweeping nostalgic story that really makes a huge impact wonderful storyline

Wow, what a beautiful touching story. The story of two sisters and their mum, shaped by one traumatic summer- something awful happened that summer but this is kept under wraps until about three quarters of the way through, and was not at all what I originally expected it to be. The trauma has shaped all of their lives for over thirty years, causing the sisters Jess and Lily to not speak to one another- for Jess holds such an anger inside her towards Lily, yet Lily is dumbfounded about what it is she has done. Their mum, Audrey, has terminal cancer and is refusing treatment- again as a result of what happened that fateful summer. The story of their lives and relationships was at once heartwarming, tender, loving, hateful, and hopeful. A beautifully told tale of family and love.

What happened on that morning in 1988 when ten year old Jess caught her 15 year old sister Lilly coming out of the spare bedroom? It was enough to fuel a rift between the two sisters which went on for decades.

When their mother Audrey becomes desperately ill, she moves in Jess and her grand daughter Mia due and vows to reunite the two sisters and their own daughter, Phoebe and Mia who have only met a handful of times.

I had read about a twist in the middle of the book, so was prepared for it, and I was completely convinced that I’d guessed what it was, but how wrong was I, and when I read it, I was floored by it!

The book tells you the family’s back story and then slowly, the truth is out there – for the last few pages I had tears rolling down my cheeks so have tissues at the ready for a beautifully told story.

Sisters Lily and Jess have been estranged for 30 years. Their fractured relationship appears beyond repair, as dark family secrets, tied up in misunderstanding and grief, keep the pair at stalemate. Their mother Audrey, struggling with her own demons, is desperate to reunite her family before it’s too late.

The story is told from the perspective of all three women. A series of flashbacks delve into the family’s heartbreaking past, and reveals the effect it has has on their own families.

If Only I Could Tell You is a compelling read, with likeable characters, clever twists and an interesting moral dilemma. It’s an emotional without being depressing, and I couldn’t put it down.

What a book! I couldn’t put this book down and it utterly gripped me.
It follows the story of two daughters and their mother and their fractured relationships. It was written from all three perpectives with flashbacks to the past and all three characters were likeable. Or became more likeable as slowly the story revealed itself. Honestly, I didn’t see where this story was going at all and it was heartbreaking and beautifully written. It will stay with me for a long time.

This could have been the bleakest of reads - death hangs in all its corners - yet it wasn’t; it was restorative and enjoyable.

It centres around two sisters, Lily and Jess, whose relationship has been fractured seemingly beyond repair. Their mother Audrey wants them to bury their differences before she dies.

But what is it that has torn them apart? I read with a creeping sense of dread, thinking I had figured out the reason the women hadn't spoken for years. I was oh so wrong though; the reveal came as a complete surprise.

Beckerman employs authentic dialogue and beautiful prose to explore one huge moral dilemma. The characterisation is very good and I particularly liked Audrey and Lily. Not once did the tension flag, but the novel gains its greatest power in the final chapters where all the threads of the story, including some excellent subplots, are tied up in a believable and most satisfying way.

What a talented writer Beckerman is. With difficult subject matter and three points of view to navigate, she has created a real page-turner that should have wide appeal. I am looking forward to reading more of her work.

With thanks to Netgalley and the publishers for the book in exchange for an honest review.
This is a story of a family which has secrets and heartbreak, misunderstandings and feuds. Two sisters who no longer speak, two cousins who are not supposed to meet and a mother who has terminal breast cancer.
At times the story is overwhelmingly sad and realistic and other times there is positivety and hope and optimism.
Highly recommended.

Great book.well written. Excellent story.
Thank you to both NetGalley and The publishers for my eARC copy of this book in exchange for my honest unbiased review

If I Could Only Tell You is an emotional roller coaster of a story and readers will be shedding tears over Audrey and her daughters Lily and Jess. Audrey is dying from cancer and all she wants is for Lily and Jess to stop warring with each other. Jess hasn't forgiven her older sister for something that happened 28 years before when they were children but neither Audrey nor Lily know what has caused Jess's animosity.

The story is told from the points of view of Audrey herself, Lily and Jess using flashbacks and the present day. The characters are beautifully portrayed, especially Audrey's teenage granddaughters Phoebe and Mia who have been forbidden to meet each other. Estranged Lily and Jess have completely misunderstood one another and Audrey herself has kept a dreadful secret from her family that unwittingly has caused the rift.

It would be easy to judge Audrey's actions but what would you do in her situation is the question readers are left with at the end. Hannah Beckerman has written the tearjerker of 2019. A box of tissues should be given with each copy. Readers of One Day, The Lovely Bones and The Time Travellers Wife will love If Only I Could Tell You. It's bound to be a huge success. Many thanks to NetGalley and Orion for the opportunity to read and review it.

If Only I Could Tell You by Hannah Beckerman is such a beautifully written and heartbreaking story. The ending transcends what we have come to expect from a tear jerking novel.
The story is told from three points of view, Audrey and her two daughters Jess and Lily and it moves between the present and 1988 when a traumatic incident occurs in the family.
The relationships between the three main characters are extremely complicated and Audrey is always torn between her daughters.
This book is about a family who are all painfully suffering in different ways but are each other’s cure.
I felt that the story was going one way and then was completely surprised when it veered into a completely different direction that I really didn’t see coming. The way Hannah writes and reveals the story is so subtle and delicate it’s almost like peeling back the petals of a beautiful rose.
This is the first of Hannah’s books that I’ve read and I shall now read her back catalogue.

Thank you to Orion and Hannah Bekkerman for the opportunity to read and review this book. If Only I Could Tell You delves into the uncomfortable space of end of life care. How far is too far to help those you love pass to the other side. For twins Jess and Zoe life throws a curve balls when Zoe is diagnosed with cancer at the age of 10. Can Jess ever forgive the family member who helped her along. An emotional, thought provoking book that will surprise you

Thanks Netgalley and the Publisher. This is a heart rending novel with a real twist at the end. I really loved it.

If Only I Could Tell You is a book I've been waiting to read for a long time, and it was worth the wait. Every bit as good as I hoped it would be. A beautiful story of family, love and loss.