As a busy mother of three, it's very rare I find a book that I'm willing to stay up in to the early hours for now but this was absolutely it. This story, one of heartbreak, loss, love, family ties and secrets, is gripping from start to finish. I had to know what had taken place in that bedroom all those years ago to make Jess hate Lily so much, the tension was built right from the first page with little pieces of the puzzle being revealed throughout. The big twist comes right in the middle of the novel and it completely blindsided me; I usually pride myself on figuring out where a story is going but Beckerman does a fantastic job of leading the reader down the wrong path and I didn't see that coming at all. The ending is more predictable but it's both heart-wrenching satisfying all the same. A word of warning though - don't start this book in the evening unless you can function on no sleep because you won't be able to put it down!

Thank you to Netgalley and Orion Publishing for providing my copy of this book.

Oh my god, what a read, a wonderfully heartbreaking story about family, I couldn't put it down and feel totally wrung out and easy 5 star read, loved every moment

A poignant and emotional story of a family divided by the past

I approached this book with a degree of trepidation. It was reported to have made Marian Keyes cry so it was clearly not going to be an easy, light-hearted read. Armed with a box of tissues and a big bar of chocolate, I took the plunge and I’m very glad that I did. It’s beautifully written, heart-breaking and compelling. I was very quickly drawn in and felt emotionally connected with the characters. I read this book in one sitting with tears pouring down my face (not good when you’re reading on the train!).

Most families have their share of secrets, feuds and unreasonable behaviour. If you have a strained, fractured relationship with one of your family members, this book may just make you reassess the situation and offer an olive branch. It’s the story of a family torn apart by a misunderstanding, a feud which lasts for almost three decades and the misery and heartache that infects all of those directly involved, as well as the people around them.

Audrey’s daughters, Jess and Lily are estranged. Something happened when they were children and Jess hasn’t forgiven Lily. Audrey has tried several times to heal the rift but Jess is unrelenting. What Lily did is unforgivable and Jess will not hear of reconciliation under any circumstances.

Now, as Audrey deals with terminal illness, she wants nothing more than to see her daughters be friends again but the odds seem stacked against that happening. She has two granddaughters born just six weeks apart who are not allowed to meet each other. Audrey’s efforts to bring her family together have only served to make matters worse.

The two sisters’ lives have gone in very different directions. Lily has a successful career and a millionaire husband while Jess is a single mother struggling to make ends meet. The disparity between their fortunes, although not the source of Jess’s anger, does nothing to dilute her resentment towards her older sister.

There are times in the book when it’s hard to feel sympathy for Jess. The grudge she has carried for almost 30 years has destroyed her family. Her mother is dying but Jess still cannot bring herself to try to forgive her sister. However, when the reason for Jess’s anger was revealed, it took my breath away (and restarted the ugly crying that I had just managed to get under control!).

“If Only I Could Tell You” is narrated by Audrey, Jess and Lily and each character has a distinctive voice that allows you to become completely absorbed in their story. It’s beautifully written and although there is an overriding sense of loss, grief and sadness, the book has enough tender, uplifting moments to carry you through.

Reviewed by Louise Chamberlain for The Glass House Book Club

A story of a family torn apart by secrets & a parent's dying wish for reconciliation.

An absolute page turner with a thought provoking plot, would definitely recommend

Thank you to NetGalley for a review copy of this novel.

Thank you to Hannah Beckerman for this novel – the five main characters came to life beautifully and the story was totally believable – how a simple misunderstanding led to major changes in a family that took 30 years to be aired truthfully.

This is a book full of heightened emotions due to the sad life events faced by the main characters over 30 years but please don’t avoid the book as another reviewer suggested – see how the characters dealt with the events and how this shaped their futures

Before you start to read If Only I Could Tell You by Hannah Beckerman I have a few words of advice: get yourself a comfy spot, bulk buy some tissues and maybe a bar of chocolate! Comfort is essential for this heart-breaking read. This is a book you will have to finish once you’ve started, I made the mistake of starting to read on my lunch break and was then desperate for my work day to be over so I could continue.

If only I Could Tell You deal with many issues, estrangement being one of them. Sisters Jess and Lily have not spoken since they were young when Jess saw something she shouldn’t have. We are not told what she has seen and the details are slowly revealed throughout the story. There are a lot of surprises along the way and circumstances that I was not expecting. Their mother Audrey has been diagnosed with terminal cancer and is desperate to reconcile her daughters before she passes away. I have two teenage daughters myself and the thought of them falling out to the extent that Jess and Lily does truly upset me, on top of this they both have teenage daughters themselves who are forbidden to meet. I really felt for Audrey and how she had to walk a fine line to please both of her daughters.

There is far more to this book than I have mentioned but to say much more would be spoilery! If Only is definitely one of the best books that I have read this year and my tear ducts were truly cleansed by the end of it. All the stars for the beautiful book!

‘If Only I Could Tell You’ is a compelling read. The story and the storytelling are powerful and convincing, and kept me turning pages late into the night. It’s a family saga - but a modern one, being the intertwined and entangled story of three generations of strong but damaged women whose lives have all been shaped by events of thirty years earlier.

The first half of the book establishes the characters well and sets up the traumatic mystery which drives the story. The second half, gradually but explosively, reveals to both the reader and the characters themselves, the truths that underlie the seismic, hitherto unexplained, events. But, as can happen so easily, emerging truths can bring as many challenges as resolutions.

I have one mild reservation, and its the same one that I had for ‘Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine’ by Gail Honeyman - and look how well that did! The issue is that the first half of the book feels slow compared to the second. In my opinion, both books would have benefited from a final edit to tighten up ‘Act I’ of the stories. However, given what a runaway success Eleanor Oliphant has been, it’d be churlish to award Hannah Beckerman’s book anything less than the full five stars. I wish it equal success because, in my view, it’s an equally deserving book.

This was such a fabulous book. I thoroughly enjoyed it. The characters developed so well throughout the story, the story itself was full of surprises - beautiful and sad surprises. The revelations made me cry. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review. I will be recommending this book to others. #NetGalley

The start is mysterious and intriguing. You are given little detail about why sisters Jess and Lily are estranged however you know whatever the reason is, it’s big. As the story goes on, the sadder it gets. However, If Only I Could Tell You is an easy, enjoyable read.

This book was one of the most compelling books I have read, I couldn’t wait to finish it and yet I didn’t want it to end.
The story gripped me from the start. It is beautifully written, moving,and the chapters move seamlessly between past and present.
It is the story of a fractured and hurting family, a misunderstanding as a child leading to many years of heartache and missed opportunities. This book has been sensitively written and all I can say is buy it you won’t be disappointed.
Thank you to Netgalley and Orion for letting me read this book in exchange for an honest review

From the first page I was drawn in and felt like I was actually right in the midst of the drama. Kept trying to figure out what had fractured the family and didnt work it out until just before it was revealed. Following these strong women characters as they try to mend broken bonds made a compelling read.

This is by far the best book I have read in a very long time. Audrey’s family have been torn apart after not 1 but 2 tragedies. Just when you think Audrey will never get her longed for wish of re-uniting her family, fate steps in and gives her a helping hand.The sensitive nature of the story line is written with compassion and empathy. Although I couldn’t put the book down, I am now sad that I have now finished it. Hannah deserves huge credit for this outstanding book.

Not for me, I'm afraid - the story felt very slow and there were lots of flashbacks and reminiscences, which really slowed the pace. The scenes in the present seemed just tools to trigger memories, with very little action on the page. This might be someone's favourite style, but I'm afraid it's not mine.

This book was a real slow starter for me.

It follows the lives of two sisters, Lily and Jess who are estranged. Their mother Audrey has recently had some bad news and moves in with Jess.

With Audrey trying to heal the rift between the two daughters after thirty years, tensions are tight. What follows is a complex story which gives very little away in the first half but i persevered. I am so glad i did.

Keep this tissues handy!

If Only I Could Tell You was a great book. Two estranged sisters, will they reconcile before their mum passes away. A thought provoking page turner that I struggled to put down.

Loved this book, lovely story, shows how a tragedy can really split a family in 2 in seconds and how misunderstandings can cause such heartache. Very well written, lovely story loved the characters love they way their lives worked out.

Thanks to Netgalley for my copy of If Only I Could Tell You.

Make sure you have a box full of tissues when you get yours. This is a compelling, emotional story that will keep you hooked until the very last, satisfying, page. Such a good read, totally recommended.

A rift of 30 years between sisters . Jess has carried this hatred against lily for this amount of time but was she right everything is not always what it seems . Really enjoyed this book

I have just finished mopping up the tears after reading this lovely, well written book. A story of family secrets & misunderstandings that really grabs & moves you. I thoroughly recommend it.

I devoured this book! The writing beautifully portrays the struggles of Audrey, her feeling of failure for her family falling apart and the want that she has to not burden her needs on her family. There's a fabulous twist that builds slowly and a lovely sense of resolution for the family.

I have nothing but good words for this book!