If Only I Could Tell You is a beautiful, emotional book that will stay with me for a long time.

The reader is immediately absorbed into the story with some of the situations feeling very realistic that it’s impossible not to feel involved in the story. As someone whose has had their fair share of sister dramas over the years the dialogue really resonated with me and I found some of the scenarios achingly familiar, as I had been through similar.

Audrey is a wonderful main character who it’s impossible not to like and feel some sympathy with. Her obvious distress over her daughter’s falling out is almost palpable at times and I found myself getting very emotional on her behalf. In contrast I found I didn’t warm much to the daughters and found myself feeling quite angry at them for all that they’d put their mother through. Some of the decisions they’ve made with their own daughters were highly dubious and I felt quite appalled whilst reading about them.

This isn’t particularly a fast paced book but it is so compelling and absorbing that it makes it impossible to put down as you have to know what is going to happen. I found myself thinking about it constantly whilst I wasn’t reading it and continuing to feel very emotional about what was happening. It made me wonder if I would have acted any differently and hoping that I would have.

This is the author’s debut novel and I’m so excited to read more from her in the future. I think this would make a great book club book as I think there would be lots to discuss.

Huge thanks to Tracy Fenton for inviting me onto the blog tour and Orion for my copy of this book via Netgalley which I received in exchange for an honest review. If you like emotional, absorbing and thought provoking books then you’ll love this book!

I was completely intrigued at the start of my journey into this novel. But sadly the character of Jess started to annoy me with her selfishness. Sadly as the story evolved towards the end it fell in to a cryfest. I must admit I did have a lump in my throat at this point but I felt the story could have been much, much more. However, a decent enough read which I am sure will be a big hit.

The prologue opens in 1988 with an event that we, the reader, aren't too sure exactly what it is but will have a lasting impact on the family across the years. We flip to current day 2016 with Audrey, Audrey has to make huge changes to her life for health reasons and finds herself, as always, split between her two daughters, Jess and Lily. They haven't spoken in years and Audrey wants more than anything for these two to reconcile before it is too late but can you move on in the future when you haven't dealt with a past that is tearing you apart?

There are no two ways about it this book is a hell of an emotive rollercoaster, it touches on so many life issues that will evoke tears from the most hardened reader. Family, secrets, lies, love, loss, grief, heartache, health issues and so much more. It is hard to mention all the themes because you run the risk of spoilers and I never do a spoiler review.

I think depending on the life experiences you have had, grief and losses will absolutely impact upon how you receive this book. I hate using the word trigger but for many there will be triggers in this book, it reflects on the hardships, loss, grief and utter injustice that life sometimes hands out to folk, hence being an emotive read. I think what some will take comfort from in this story whilst others may feel too raw in their own experiences. It is testament to the authors writing skills to pen a book that can draw out different responses from so many from certain scenes.

The sisters I found hard to fathom at times, more so Jess in how she behaved in view of what was going on in that particular moment. That said, as the book reveals its secrets you get a better understanding of why the characters behave the way they do. Again for me, depending on your own personal experiences will impact on how you react to some scenes and Jess I felt I could reach in and slap/shake. This comes down to my own life experiences and any writer that can get a reader to pull reality from fiction, strong emotions is doing their job and then some.

This book has been so loved and I enjoyed it if enjoy is the right word to apply considering some of the content. If you aren't emotionally vulnerable going in you may well be when you finish it, a story that kicks you in the emotionals and keeps you going page after page hoping and praying for it to go the way you want it to, 3.5/5 for me this time. This was my first dance with Beckerman, it won't be my last.

A great book to me is one I can’t stop reading even though I should be asleep and this book definitely fits into that category so thank you NetGallery and Hannah Beckerman for the opportunity to read it early. The books key characters are a Mum and her 2 adult daughters and their relationships over a few decades. It is very obvious which character is being written about at any one point and which era so is a plus point from me. There are a few twists and turns which I loved but again really easy to follow. Having said that there is part of the story that challenges your moral ideas and the ending left me slightly unsettled as it seemed to come quickly and I felt the characters had more to give.

Can’t put this book down it’s Powerful, raw and emotional, this is a rollercoaster of a book. Unpicking the relationships of Audrey and her two daughters, Lily and Jess, we are taken back to the terrible events of 1988. It takes some time to understand what actually happened, by which time this book has you enthralled. It was a bit like car crash tv, you wanted to know what was going on and it actually wasn't as bad as you thought it might be

I found myself enthralled - what would happen in each of the daughters' lives, how would they deal with the scenarios unfolding- and would they ever speak to each other again?

I loved Hannah Beckerman’s first book ‘The Dead Wife’s handbook’ so I was so excited to get this book to review for Netgalley and it definitely didn’t disappoint!

Looking at family relationships and how the impact of our actions can have repercussions for years afterwards.

Beautifully written, made me laugh and cry throughout, and changed direction keeping you guessing as to what would happen next. I absolutely loved this book and would say definitely add it to your reading list. I can see this book being part of many peoples’ summer reading pile! It’s a fabulous book. Thank you Hannah for writing such a beautiful story xx

Powerful, raw and emotional, this is a rollercoaster of a book. Unpicking the relationships of Audrey and her two daughters, Lily and Jess, we are taken back to the terrible events of 1988. It takes some time to understand what actually happened, by which time this book has you enthralled. It was a bit like car crash tv, you wanted to know what was going on and it actually wasn't as bad as you thought it might be (I have read too many dark thrillers!).

I found myself enthralled - what would happen in each of the daughters' lives, how would they deal with the scenarios unfolding- and would they ever speak to each other again? i really loved the teenage girls too - i thought they brought realism to the book (and also made me very nervous for the teenage years ahead).

All in all, an excellent book that will keep me thinking for many days to come. 4.5* A recommended read.

This book was fantastic! I haven’t read a book this quickly for a long time, I couldn’t put it down.

This story is about Audrey, the mother of Jess and Lily and the grandmother of Mia and Phoebe, and how her family has been torn apart by a secret from thirty years ago. Jess and Lily have been estranged for thirty years despite leaving in the same corner of London as each other. There are plenty of twists and turns as Audrey looks to get to the bottom of this before time runs out.

This book is compelling and completely heart-breaking. It has been beautifully written with so many themes that take you on such a rollercoaster. It covers all things from family, loss, grief, love, honesty, acceptance and fear.

This story is told from Audrey, Jess and Lily’s perspectives, switching between the three. Along with these three main characters, the granddaughters Mia and Phoebe all play an integral part to the story.

You were kept guessing throughout, and once you thought you had things sussed there was another twist. This kept me hooked from the very beginning.

A contender for book of the year.

If Only I Could Tell You is a book about secrets, misunderstandings, lies and family. When she was ten, Jess witnesses an event that sets her on the path of hating her sister Lily, to the extent that she has not spoken to her for nearly thirty years. Neither Lily or their mother, Audrey, understand Jess’s actions which divide their family to the extent that Audrey cannot see both her granddaughters at the same time. But now Audrey is ill, and her last wish is to reconcile her family. Narrated by Audrey, Jess and Lily this is a powerful and engaging novel of how secrets can fester and ultimately destroy a family.

If Only I Could Tell You has five strong female lead characters in Audrey, Jess, Lily, Jess’s daughter Mia and Lily’s daughter Phoebe. Audrey is now in her sixties, and has been diagnosed with cancer. She has had to give up her independence and move in with Jess, but after finding her diary, and encouraged by her granddaughters, she decides to do some of the things she never got around to doing. I found Audrey’s story life affirming, her courage and positive attitude to achieving her dreams and making the most out what time she has left was wonderful. Her daughters Jess and Lily live very different lives. Lily and her husband Daniel are high flyers and have both been successful in their respective fields. Jess meanwhile is in a job she hates, and a single mother who struggles to pay the bills. But both have seventeen year old daughters, born six weeks apart, who are not allowed to meet. Mia and Phoebe look very similar and both know their own minds, not always in accordance with the expectations of their mothers. I found their relationship with Audrey heartwarming, the love, respect and at times their deviousness made me smile.

Hannah Beckerman’s prose is beautiful, and flows seamlessly between the character’s stories and the two timelines, making this a joy to read. She has a great understanding of the human mind and emotions which make the characters that much more real. There are flashbacks to 1988 and the events that led up to Jess’s reason for cutting off Lily. We see how these secrets and lies eat away the bonds of family and ultimately destroy them; one simple event, overheard discussions lead to anger and a misinterpretation of the facts. There are some very difficult issues raised in this book, all dealt with great compassion, empathy and candor by Hannah Beckerman.

If Only I Could Tell You is a heartfelt honest look at families and how secrets can cause pain and destruction to those you are trying to protect. Beautifully written, with care and compassion to the subject matter, and engaging characters this book is an emotional and powerful read. I absolutely loved this book, it went straight to my heart and left me feeling surprisingly positive about life.

I tried to like this book but its subject matter is very gloomy, very sad. Misunderstandings that split a family apart for years, too much illness, too many deaths and broken relationships. There is no joy in it at all. I persisted with it but was glad to finally reach the end.

A beautiful emotional story full of family secrets and the troubles they cause. Wish the ending was better, felt very rushed.

I gave this book three stars because it was an interesting and easy read but it was too depressing for me. Whilst the granddaughters were quite likeable, the main character, the Gran, was too much of a control freak. The estrangement of the two daughters was understandable because of the misunderstanding but I had actually imagined the secret to be something possibly worse than it was. A bit disappointing.

This is a beautifully emotional book that really leaves you needing to ready it because you really feel invested on the answers you get at the end of this book. I will definitely be recommending this book to friends and family.

Sisters Lily and Jess haven’t spoken in decades. Lily, the elder of the two sisters has her life sorted with a high flying career in marketing, a handsome husband with a great job, a beautiful house and a teenage daughter. Jess on the other hand is scraping a living together, is a single parent to her teenage daughter and her house needs extensive work. Their mother, Audrey, is dying of cancer, but not even this can bridge the gap between the two sisters. We don’t know what has happened or why they don’t speak to each other but this past mystery is impacting upon their present.

Told from the perspectives of Jess, Lily and Audrey, we come to know these three women intimately. I really enjoyed the split narrative and the flashbacks to Audrey’s youth via her diary entries as it built the tension and allowed the mystery to unfurl in a gorgeous way.

This is a book which explores the relationships between mothers and daughters and between sisters. I have a younger sister and found it interesting to see the breakdown between Lilly and Jess and was intrigued about what had happened to cause the schism. I know how annoying a sister can be and we have had our moments over the years (the time I smashed her packet of Bourbon biscuits in anger was a particular highlight) but I can’t imagine never speaking to her again, or putting our parents through that pain. I knew that whatever had happened in the past must have been significant and I was intrigued from the get go.

I have to admit though that I think that our mother would have sat us down and told us to stop being so ridiculous. I understood that Jess had long held resentments with Lily and that there was an underlying issue which meant she could not and would not speak to her, however, I felt Audrey was a little passive. Hannah Beckerman writes beautifully about the impact of their fall out upon her and how much sadness the situation brings, but she doesn’t seem to actively try and sort it out. I have to admit that I found this a little frustrating.

It is a well written book and very beautiful in places. It didn’t quite hit the spot for me as it was a tad on the schmaltzy side. This isn’t a criticism at all and in fact I would recommend it to others as it is a great piece of fiction exploring secrets and family dynamics.

I really wanted to like this book. The premise of estranged sisters who haven’t spoken for decades promised great things.
There is no doubt that the author writes very well but I just couldn’t find any empathy for the sisters, particularly Jess. I know that families fall out all the time and sometimes never reconcile but for me it stretched credibility that it would have started when one was only 10 years old and that the cause would not have been revealed for two decades. It may be feasible but added to characters who seem totally self obsessed, apart from Mia and Phoebe, I was glad to get to the end.
The book has many 5 star ratings and with famous champions it is going to be hugely successful but I’m afraid it wasn’t really really for me.
My thanks to Netgalley for this copy.

Enjoyed this book it was a tragic story of how family secrets can cause problems. Found the sudden ending very rushed after stringing it out for most of the book.

What can I say that has not already been said? Get the blinking tissues ready for this one, I mean this book should come with that warning!! We are not talking about the small leaky problem, we are talking huge tears, which could eventually turn into sobs, especially if you are feeling emotional already! Jeez!

The three women, Audrey, the mother and her two children, Lily and Jess ripped apart by a terrible secret. It did keep me guessing what the secret was and I thought I had got it a few times but changed my mind. Still when you get there, if you are not already emotional by then you will be. Slowly as the story unfurls heartbreak features heavily in their lives. I want to reach in and just give them all a hug.

So much is happening in this book, it deals with so many different topics, and the way that If Only I Could Tell You is written leaves you flicking the pages over so quickly as you are engulfed in all the emotions of each character. With the writing so exquisite you will not want to be putting this book down, because if you are like me you will get sucked into their world, living their lives with a need to know what has destroyed this family.

With flashbacks to the past adding an extra depth to the story, one of the flashbacks that got me the most was Phoebe (Lily’s daughter) and Mia (Jess’ daughter) meeting and playing in Audrey’s garden. When Audrey’s daughters turn up and see them play and the sisters, in turn, argue just showed how far apart they have come but what for! Aaargh!! In fact, all the flashbacks got me!

There are no words I can use to give this book any sense of justice it deserves. You need to read it for yourself and become as captivated as I have with this family. It is beautiful, brutal and will leave you feeling so raw and quite frankly a blubbering wreck. That is all I can say.

This book should probably come with a warning, it can make you cry.
I had mixed feelings about the story as I started but the more I read the more twists and turns kept me reading. To me, a sign of an enjoyable, memorable book is when you are “talking to the characters “ and getting cross when they don’t behave as you want them too! But then if they had behaved “my way” the storyline wouldn’t have worked so it’s a good thing they didn’t listen to me. I felt Hannah Beckerman wrote believable characters and I was engaged with them and although I could see myself sitting down chatting and putting the world to rights with Jess, I did want to know more about what happens to Lily and would have liked an update at the end.

This book was achingly heartbreaking, I devoured it in two sittings. Audrey's two adult daughters don’t speak to one another and her two teenage granddaughters have never been allowed to meet. Something unspoken happened 30 years ago that that severed their bonds and the ramifications ended in her husbands suicide. Will they manage to reconnect and be brave enough to address these darker days of secrets and silence to enable them to move forward to a brighter future, or are they damaged forever? That’s assuming that they have the luxury of time! Get this book !!

Before I read this book I’d read a lot of reviews all saying how fabulous this book was, so when I got the chance to read it I didn’t hesitate to request it. I certainly wasn’t disappointed.. I think I’ve been through every emotion while reading it. It’s a real rollercoaster. Audrey has two daughters Jess and Lily who haven’t spoken to each other since Jess was 10. Can Audrey finally get the girls together and sort out all the hidden family secrets and grievances? Just when you think the story is going a certain way it goes a completely different way that left me reeling. I loved this book but when I sell it I will insist they go and buy a family pack of tissues as they will be needed.