My Dark Vanessa was a difficult, yet thought provoking read. It's about Vanessa, who's been sexually abused by her high school teacher when she was 15 years old. Her life has been ruined by it, since even as an adult she didn't get over it. The reason is she doesn't even believe she's been abused, she thinks it was a romantic relationship. And noone seems to convince her to get help because of this.
I listened to the writer talking and learned that she's been massively influenced and inspired by Lolita. And we can see this clearly in the book. It wasn't only the disappointing behaviours of a teacher, but many others around her who failed her as it was the case in Lolita, i.e even her mother.

Very well written, very depressing, very important.

Thanks a lot to the publisher and NetGalley for this copy in exchange for an honest review.

My Dark Vanessa is a superb yet extremely challenging novel that highlights aspects of life that we don't necessarily wish to think about, certainly not to talk about. Told between the present and the past you have Vanessa, on the one hand a lonely fifteen year old trying to get over an acrimonious split with her best friend and on the other an equally lonely thirty two year old, still unable to get over the first 'love of her life'. I cannot stress enough that this is a disturbing as hell book, and it tackles the issue of child grooming and the unbalanced relationships from a completely different point of view to what you would normally expect. Because whilst Vanessa was only fifteen, thereby making her sexual relationship with a much older teacher statutory rape regardless of anything else, Vanessa does not consider herself a victim even some seventeen years on.

It's a narrative device that is used to great effect, because from an external perspective you can see just how manipulative and clever Jacob Strane is. His slow build up as he gains this lonely girl's trust, shows her 'special' attention, lends her books and gives her gifts, eventually leading to physical contact, but even then he doesn't push the boat too quickly. In the present day, there is Strane is now facing further charges of sexual misconduct against other minors in his care, but seeing it through Vanessa's eyes is quite scary at points. It's not that she doesn't necessarily believe them, but that she doesn't care; if anything, her overriding feeling is that of jealously because she sees this as her 'love story', even when anyone else would see it as a gross abuse of power and authority. And the novel pulls on this juxtaposition well; there is a constant struggle between where the line really is. Vanessa feels that she had the power in the relationship and to a degree she is right. That doesn't make this any less disturbing, any less creepy, any less wrong. It does however force you to see events through a very different perspective.

In all, I felt this was an exceptionally clever and exceptionally raw novel that draws upon the recent #metoo movement in a variety of ways, but the filter through which you are reading makes it all the more disturbing. The narration from the fifteen year old Vanessa is clearly in many ways unreliable, and the relationship has had significant lasting and damaging effects on her at thirty two, but even as that older individual she is clearly stating that victimhood is something to be claimed and does not apply to her. The novel identifies and picks apart various contradictory strands, interweaving literature with reality, blame culture with the realisation of power and sexuality. It's important to say that in no way does Russell condone this relationship, and whilst Vanessa may see it as romantic that is not the way it is perceived by the outward reader. But it certainly challenges perceptions on a wide spectrum of issues and perspectives. It's a really difficult read at times, not least because of Vanessa's views on the topic and some of the more dangerous lies that are spouted by the abuser; the one that really stuck out to me was the idea that it couldn't have been rape when she orgasmed beneath him.

This a book that highlights just how vulnerable young adults can be, even when they feel that they know everything and are the ones in charge. It casts a spotlight of the inaction of various institutions, how it's easier to demonise the victim and not look closely into allegations just because the victim denies it. It throws into the forefront the damage that can be done, even when someone won't accept that there was a crime or anything wrong; Vanessa is a deeply troubled and cracked character as an adult, unable to get over the relationship that defined her for so many years. But it also paints a stark and horrifying picture of how far some people will go to get what they want, and also just how completely grooming can influence a young mind - even many, many years after. It's brilliantly written and I almost can't believe it's a debut novel. It's dark, disturbing, horrifying... but powerful and raw.

My Dark Vanessa opens with a 15 year old schoolgirl being groomed by a teacher until she is both besotted and controlled by her predator. Humiliation and expulsion follows as she takes the hit to protect the teacher. The relationship continues despite her move to another College some distance away. Will history repeat itself there? Maybe, although life may not be perfect but she seems content until..... other pupils claim that they have been abused by the teacher. Vanessa insists throughout that she was not abused but further twists follow.
This is a worthwhile book to read particularly because of issues raised by #metoo and more general concern about child abuse. Thought provoking, it takes us into world of which most of us have little or no direct experience. It raised in my mind many questions to which we ought perhaps give more attention. For example, is the duty of care for our young widely accepted within Society or is it someone else's problem? Are ages of consent understood both by Society and the young within it? What if the abused is content with the relationship with the predator? Are there scars from earlier in their life? What about possible long term damage. ( The book subtly draws our attention to this over time.)

Recommended. You wont regret reading it.

My Dark Vanessa is the story of the titular Vanessa, and her sexual relationship with her English teacher, Mr Strane. When the two first meet, Vanessa is just fifteen, and has just lost the attentions of her best friend, who is newly enamoured with a first boyfriend. Vanessa is left feeling alone and misunderstood - until Mr. Strane, who is in his forties, starts to take a special interest in her....

The story is narrated by two Vanessas - the fifteen year old in the past, and thirty two year old Vanessa in the present, who is squandering her potential and working as a receptionist in a shitty motel. I loved that we had insights into both that of the fifteen year old being groomed/seduced, and also the grown woman looking back on her past. The author doesn't shy away from difficult topics, and nor does she try to sanitise anything, so be prepared for this one - it's dark, and it's discomfiting. But it's also brilliant, and realistic, and full of truth.

The writing is stunning, and I was torn between rattling through it because I didn't want to put it down, and forcing myself to stop because I didn't want it to be over. There is such attention to detail, and I love that the author lays out the facts and leaves it for the reader to decide for themselves how they feel about events in the story.

I don't want to give anything away, so I won't say too much about the story, but this is a Lolita for the Me Too times, and it deserves all the buzz it's been generating. A beautifully written, disturbing debut that I will be recommending to anyone who will listen. I can't wait to read more from this author.

Thank you to NetGalley, who provided me with a free ARC copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell is one of the most hotly anticipated novels of 2020 and on one of the most pressing topics of our time – abuse of girls and the #MeToo movement – but it is a hard book to read.

And I don’t mean that as any slight on Kate, the author. Quite the opposite; it is a remarkable piece of writing. On what should be already quite familiar ground, Kate has created an exceptional fictional character – Vanessa – and captures in riveting, agonising yet powerfully insightful prose the battles Vanessa has (internally and externally) with the legacy of her sexual relationship with her English schoolteacher that started when she was fifteen years old.

What she thought was accidental, understandable, logical and consensual is framed as something far darker as, ten years on, other girls from the school she used to attend come forward to accuse the teacher of abuse.

I’ve had the privilege of reading this book already. By the end, I was blown away but for much of the first section of the book, as we meet the older Vanessa, an isolated figure, I felt I had read this book before somewhere. I couldn’t put my finger on it at first but then I realised, this is very similar ground to that covered in Lisa Taddeo’s seminal Three Women, that examined the sexual lives of three real women, one of which was abused by her teacher.

It was gut-wrenching to read that truthful account and I wondered, going back to My Dark Vanessa, whether following a fictional character in exactly the same setting was worthwhile. Well, any doubts I had were thoroughly scrubbed out as Vanessa’s battles play out in unexpected ways. Unwilling to have what she considers to be the love of her life framed as an exploiter, this becomes a importantly complex analysis of power and emerging female sexuality as much as exploitation and, yes, abuse. It’s hard to think that any fictional work on this subject could be as nuanced as this. Impressive, to say the least.

This was not only the best book I’ve read in years, but also the most profound, intense, and often disturbing one too. But I was hooked from the first page? I hand no idea what that says about me, but I have to say this book exceeded all the hype I’ve read about it. FAN TAS TICCCC!!!!

Wow, a pretty intense debut novel, this book was a complex read. I found the title character being particularly complex, as someone who is abused by a teacher as a teenager but seemingly ends up falling in love with her abuser (or at the very least excusing his behaviour). However because the book is written from her perspective, the reader receives glimpses into how she really feels about what has happened to her, both in the past and the present. I loved the author’s descriptive and evocative writing style, particularly of nature and the changing seasons, and as a fellow (former) English student, I particularly enjoyed the intertexuality in this book. I found this to be a difficult and uncomfortable read in places due to the nature of the subject matter, but it was also an interesting one, particularly in light of the “Me Too” movement.

This in an incredible book. It is deeply moving as it looks at a relationship between a 15 year old and her teacher 35 years older. As the relationship develops we witness the level of denial firstly from him and then later from her. While we read the story from her perspective, as a reader we are unable to to fully empathize with it as we have a more balanced, worldy, perspective. It is agonizing seeing the neediness and recognizing the damage done.
It is an original, well written book that emotionally wrings you out yet leaves you constantly thinking about it

I cannot wait for my friends to read it too, there's so much I want to discuss!
This novel is one of those that keeps you thinking about it when you're not reading it. At first, I was struck how differently I would have seen this if I had read it at 15, Vanessa's age at the start of the story. Unbelievably to my adult self, I think I'd have felt the same. As the story progressed though, I felt so angry at Strane. I wanted to take 15 yr old Vanessa away from the situation. Get her the help she didn't think she wanted/needed then.
I have read Lolita, which features in this novel. Rightly or wrongly, I felt some sympathy among the disgust for Humbert, but Strane's character; you can see exactly what he's doing.
Dark though this book is, there is a feeling that things may get better, some redemption. No, it won't be a simple recommend to customers because of the subject matter but it's so well written, I think for most people it will be a satisfying read. Especially recommend for book groups as there's a lot to discuss.

An incredibly uncomfortable read following Vanessa's relationship with her teacher, Jacob Strane, from fifteen year old through to adulthood.

This is so cleverly done. There were times in the first half of the novel where the scenes were lust-charged in a way only a teen with a crush are and I wanted to read more - then I'd remember the circumstances and feel repulsed, with myself as much as with Strane for abusing his position of trust.

This is going to be a huge book in 2020, the subject matter sadly relevant in the wake of #metoo. My Dark Vanessa will haunt me for a very long time.

Wow! I knew this would be dark but didn't realize how emotional this would make me. This was such an amazing novel about the devastating livelong impacts of abuse.

This really did an amazing job of the intricacies of power dynamics. I think I had a general idea of what "grooming" was before reading this but now I understand how absolutely terrifying it really is. The manipulation and psychological mind games Mr. Strane played with Vanessa was heartbreaking. I think my favorite thing about this book was how much you got an inside look into a victim's psyche. Vanessa struggles with what happened with her. Outside looking in, what happened was objectively horrible and bad, but the author does a wonderful job of explaining why it wasn't so clear cut.

My Dark Vanessa is a dark, deeply disturbing and unsettling novel that captures the zeitgeist of our contemporary realities of the # MeToo movement, looking at the complexities and emotional repercussions of a 'love' affair between a lonely schoolgirl, anxious, suffering the loss of her closest friend, with self esteem issues, desperate for attention, with a much older, manipulative and predatory male who zeroes in on her vulnerabilities. This uncomfortable book examines the psychological and sexual anatomy of a relationship between 15 year old Vanessa Wye and her 45 year old English teacher, Jacob Strane, how it all began, and his prophetic words that he will 'ruin' her. At 32 years old, Vanessa is seeing a therapist to deal with her grief over the loss of her father, working in a dead end hotel job, and Strane is having to deal with the fallout of a former student, Taylor Birch, having gone public with allegations of abuse. He needs to know that he has nothing to worry about from Vanessa. She reassures him, despite feeling the pressures of a climate to be honest about male behaviours and attitudes.

In a narrative that goes back and forth in time, we see that Vanessa's relationship with Strane is the axiomatic one, she has never got over him, he has been her obsession but what is the nature of the ties that bind her to him so irrevocably? She is herself not certain of who they were in the past, what exactly happened and what they are now, her memories are confused, fractured and questionable when it comes to reliability. She has invested so much of who she is in him and she has to believe it was love, if she begins to question this, her sense of self, her identity, threatens to splinter apart. She feels the outside world is too quick to judge, and fails to appreciate that feelings, sex and love cannot be compartmentalised and categorised so rigidly according to society's norms, humanity is far more complicated and flawed. She has power, control, and desires, she chose Strane, she is no victim, she is the love of his life, special and irreplaceable. But what if she hasn't seen him clearly? What if she is one of many girls targeted by Strane?

Strane abuses his position of influence to groom young, naive, susceptible school girls, the nightmare of every parent, who uses the panoply of literary greats in his arsenal of weapons against the immature young girl, a history of writers who had relationships with young girls. A literary chorus (all men) of precedents, approval and support from history and the arts to legitimise Strane's darker desires for young female flesh and society's complicity in this widespread practice. This include the likes of Edgar Allan Poe, Frost, and Nabokov's Pale Fire, his references to 'My Dark Vanessa', and Lolita is, of course, central, all adding their weight to the inevitability and righteousness of Vanessa and Strane's unconventional dark 'romantic' relationship, particularly in Vanessa's malleable mind. Strane gaslights with no qualms, his rewriting of their personal history, of how Vanessa had control, equal power and green lit every step of their relationship, are critical self serving and self protective strategies. This is a challenging read, I had to make myself finish the book, but it is thought provoking in its portrayal on one of the most contentious and burning issues of our day. I have no doubts this is a book that it is going to be huge on publication. Highly recommended. Many thanks to HarperCollins 4th Estate for an ARC.

It’s 2017 and the height of the me too movement when Vanessa Wye learns about the allegations against her former English Teacher, Jacob Strane. Vanessa is horrified by the allegations, after all, the relationship she had with Strane when she was 15 wasn’t abuse, it was love.

Obviously the subject matter is quite disturbing and potentially triggering for some people so please bear that in mind if you’re thinking of reading this, but it’s also a very important read. If you have friends or family members who have ever expressed thoughts that girls like Vanessa are “asking for it” or that they are anything other than victims of sexual abuse then you need to give them this book to read.

Russell’s writing is outstanding. She builds the story slowly using flashbacks to show what happened between Vanessa and Strane in the past alongside the present day situation. The first person narrative is used brilliantly here as the reader is fully immersed into Vanessa’s life. It’s easy for people to sit and judge when victims make accusations years after the incident but these men know how to get away with it. They know exactly which people to target and what to do to make sure they won’t tell anyone.

When Strane starts his abuse of Vanessa she is completely alone. She’s a student at a boarding school, away from her family and she has fallen out with her former room mate so is in a room on her own. He is slow and careful with his grooming of her and works on her mentally as well as physically so that she truly believes that what she experienced was a real, loving relationship and not abuse. We see how Vanessa is let down by the very people who are supposed to protect her, the school being more concerned with protecting its own image and reputation than finding out the truth.

There were moments when I was practically shouting at my Kindle because it was making me so angry to see what was happening to Vanessa. Russell’s writing is so realistic and that coupled with the first person narrative makes for an extremely impactful book. The conversation between Vanessa and Taylor, another of Strane’s victims, highlighted the differences between how people deal with abuse and cope with recovery and it made me so sad for both of them.

The use of “Lolita” by Strane in his grooming of Vanessa has intrigued me. I know the reputation of the book so the fact I hadn’t read it didn’t take anything away from the story but I do feel I’m going to have to get to it at some point.

I think this is going to be one of those books that I keep thinking about long after it’s over. My only complaint would be that sometimes the switch between past and present was very abrupt and it would take me a few lines to realise it had changed.

Vanessa is a 15 year old girl in a relationship with her 45 year old teacher, the love of her life or so she naively believes. The novel moves back and forward it time as Vanessa tells her story and comes to terms with what happened to her at the hands of this man who ultimately is an abuser of young girls. A difficult and uncomfortable read which leaves you with nothing but sympathy for the protagonist as she struggles to see past the story her abuser has sold her. Beautifully written the characters are complex and engaging and will stay with you long after you finish this book.

2000. Bright, ambitious, and yearning for adulthood, fifteen-year-old Vanessa Wye becomes entangled in an affair with Jacob Strane, her magnetic and guileful forty-two-year-old English teacher. 

2017. Amid the rising wave of allegations against powerful men, a reckoning is coming due. Strane has been accused of sexual abuse by a former student, who reaches out to Vanessa, and now Vanessa suddenly finds herself facing an impossible choice: remain silent, firm in the belief that her teenage self willingly engaged in this relationship, or redefine herself and the events of her past. 

My Dark Vanessa is a horrific read, as it explores the protagonist's teen life being groomed and subsequent decades of psychological manipulation. Scrutinised years later through the lens of the #MeToo movement, it's a challenging but compulsive read. Books get called timely a lot but here it feels most relevant: the present day is putting a renewed focus on historic abuse, and Russell's exploration of the complex emotions, reactions and understanding surrounding what happened to Vanessa is exceptional and a must (albeit difficult) read

Can understand the hype of this book and thought it was a very interesting and informative read. Just not for me sorry. Found myself getting a little bored. Need a little more action

My book of 2019. It is everything - passionate, confusing, dramatic, breathtaking and so real for a million uncomfortable reasons. It should be - must be - read, and, if not enjoyed then consumed and digested and on your mind. Because this happens, has happened, no doubt always will happen, and perceptions are changing.

I will read again and again.

Fifteen year old Vanessa Wye is in a relationship with her 45-year old teacher, Jacob Strane.
This disturbing but gripping and accomplished novel moves back and forth in time, documenting that relationship and it’s lasting aftermath over a number of years.
Is Vanessa a Lolita to Strane’s Humbert? Is she a victim? And what will she do when she’s asked to speak out against him as a act of selflessness?
This novel is complex and explores the nature of the relationship between perpetrator and victim. But that does make it a tough and often uncomfortable and graphic read.
Not one for the faint-hearted, but beautifully imagined and written, rewarding and thoroughly enjoyable. Recommended.

spoiler alert ** Possibly one of the most uncomfortable books I've read,but in a good way.
There is nothing but sympathy for Vanessa,who really has convinced herself that her affair with a teacher at the age of 15 was wanted,that it wasn't abuse,she isn't a victim.
But the part when she describes having sex for first time puts all this nonsense aside,even if she was emotionally mature enough to consent,she clearly hadn't.
Strange comes across as a master manipulator who has basically ruined her life,as 17 years on she still clings to him and hasn't moved on much with her life.
This is going to be one of the talked about books of next year I think.

Really enjoyed this novel with well developed characters and a fascinating storyline that make this a must read. Highly recommended.