I have to admit that it took a while for me to get in to this book.  Stories about teenagers groomed by a teacher have been written again and again, so many times, and new allegations are in the news on a regular basis.  It's a tale as old as time, there were at least two cases at my own High School in the 1980s.  But despite my early misgivings about this book it started to draw me in little by  little.  It is, without doubt, very well written, if a little overlong, and almost reads almost like a memoir at times. There is so much more to this incredibly sad story than the initial seduction, and as it progresses the aftereffects are shocking and upsetting for so many people.  A compelling and heartbreaking read, for anyone who has a strong stomach.

I really really want to give this book a higher rating, but I cannot justify it when it is almost twice as long as it needed to be.

My Dark Vanessa has many powerful moments. It's a discomfiting, horrible story about an adult woman reevaluating the relationship she had with her English teacher when she was a teenager. It is reminiscent of The Tale and, of course, Lolita, which features heavily throughout. Teenage Vanessa reads Lolita as a forbidden romance in which the titular protagonist is a cruel seductress, but adult Vanessa begins to question that reasoning.

The real power of this book is that it allows the reader to see how Vanessa truly falls for her abuser. In the chapters where we relive her teenage years, we are inside her head and experiencing his manipulation firsthand. It is enticing. It makes this lonely girl feel special, intelligent and wanted. She's not stupid; she's heard of rapists and child abusers. But this is why Jacob Strane gets away with it, why many abusers get away with it, because they convince their victims they are the exception to the rule.

And how exciting it is for a young girl to be the exception to the rule! To be the one - and, surely, the only one - that could make a good man stray from the righteous path. We see how well he seduces her into thinking that they are two dark and lonely souls meant for each other in this cruel, cruel world. How could anyone else possibly understand them?

I've almost talked myself into upping my rating by writing this review. But here's the thing: this book should have been a novella. I don't know if there's a specific reason why the author shied away from writing a novella - are they harder to publish? - but this story most certainly is one. After a while, there are long, mind-numbing stretches of boring repetition and superfluous detail. So many things go on for too long. Vanessa's relationship with Henry when she goes to a different school felt, at best, drawn out, at worst it was completely unnecessary.

All of the secondary characters - and there are quite a few - were one-dimensional. Every single one. There was a chunk in the middle that seemed to alternate between Nessa and Strane having revolting sexual encounters and long boring details of Vanessa's school and social life. And for a book that spends so much time turning every detail of her life inside out, it seems to end very abruptly.

But I will return to some positives because I am reluctant to end this review on a negative. I thought it was excellent and very sad how the author showed the long-term effects of the abuse on Vanessa's whole life - her relationships, her career, and her sexuality. It is so heart-wrenching and disturbing when Vanessa catches herself imagining she is a young girl for sexual gratification and wonders if she, too, is a pervert.

I do recommend this book still. I think it has a lot of important things to say and it cut me very deep. It's just a shame that there is so much unnecessary padding.

As soon as I started reading My Dark Vanessa, I questioned why I had chosen to read it. It’s a subject that I’d usually not even attempt to read as I find it too upsetting, but I’d heard such good things about it, and I was curious. And boy am I glad I read it. It’s an uncomfortable read though.

An insecure, lonely 15 year old is groomed by her much older teacher, Jacob Strane, and she is led to believe that it’s all on her own terms. She is in control. There are parts of this book that really distressed me, and I had to put the book down. However, I really felt for the main character, Vanessa. Even as a 35 year old woman, her life is still dictated by her relationship with Strane. These scenes where she is older, in a boring job, living in a tiny apartment and drinking too much, really made me see how Strane had ruined her life. She refuses to see it, however. Even when she is seeing a counsellor about the death of her father, she still sees no link between her feelings for Strane and how he affected her life before the death of her father. And when former female students blow the whistle on his abuse, Vanessa refuses to get involved. Strane tells her they’re lying, that they’re fantasists - and she believes him. He continues to control her for years after their sexual relationship ends.

I think the way that the narrative swapped between present day and the past, showing us how the ‘relationship’ developed, made it all the more stark. Everyone, including the reader, can see the abuse. Everyone except Vanessa. I don’t know what the laws about the age of consent are like in the USA, but I’m pretty certain that if he’d been found out in the UK, he would never have taught again. But of course I could be wrong.

For me, the end was a relief. I was glad I’d made it through - it was traumatic for me as a reader.

I’ve given this 5 stars, but I wouldn’t qualify this 5/5 with an “I loved it!” like I often do with my top marked books. I do think that this is an important book though, and to be perfectly honest, it’s beautifully written.

Many thanks to HarperCollins 4th Estate and NetGalley for my copy of this book to read and review.

My Dark Vanessa portrayed in real, ugly, and disturbingly graphic detail an abusive relationship spanning seventeen years between Vanessa Wye and Jacob Strane that began when she was 15, and he was her 45 year-old English teacher.

I cannot emphasise how angry and upsetting the content of this book made me feel. Never has a piece of fiction affected me so much – It tore me apart, and I had to take frequent breaks while reading as I was so overcome. Jacob was repulsive right off the bat, there was never any ambiguity about his intentions, he used inappropriate teachings methods, conduct and boundaries in a classroom setting to lure vulnerable girls, specifically targeting Vanessa because she was naive, innocent, lonely, and isolated. He was a cunning, controlling and manipulative paedophile who abused Vanessa sexually, physically, emotionally, and psychologically, and through back-handed compliments, putdowns, gaslighting, withdrawal of affection, moodiness and jealously warped her into believing that the rape was consensual, and that their relationship was loving and healthy, a false belief Vanessa maintained well into adulthood.

I’ve made it sound really depressing, but it's compelling, insightful and life-altering.. Kate Elizabeth Russell handled distressing subject matter with authenticity, and openness, and I'm amazed this was her debut novel. As horrifying and harrowing as the issues raised in this book were to read about, it’s important to promote awareness of just how calculating and seductive sexual predators can be, and what actions to be suspicious of in adults, particularly those in a position of power such as teachers, and what behavioural indicators to be on the lookout for in children and teenagers. Teacher/student abuse, statutory rape, child grooming, sexual harassment, slut shaming, downside of social media and reporting, victim blaming, and not being believed are all too prevalent in our society, and that is not okay. The events in this story started in 1999, and even though I'd like to believe things would be handled differently in 2020 I feel we still have a long way to go.

The novel shifts between the present and the past, working its way forward. Most of the first 50 percent focused on Vanessa years at boarding school (1999-2001) where she first met Strane and the start of their relationship. As I mentioned, the descriptions of what Vanessa endured were explicit, therefore may be too confronting for some readers – likely even triggering for survivors of abuse, so approach with caution.

An important defining novel, My Dark Vanessa releases 10th March, 2020.

I'd like to thank Netgalley, 4th Estate, and Kate Elizabeth Russell for the e-ARC.

God, this was a dark and utterly riveting book.

Vanessa Wye was fifteen years old when she first had sex with her English teacher.

She is now thirty-two and in the storm of allegations against powerful men in 2017, the teacher, Jacob Strane, has just been accused of sexual abuse by another former student.

Vanessa is horrified by this news, because she is quite certain that the relationship she had with Strane wasn't abuse. It was love. She's sure of that.

Forced to rethink her past, to revisit everything that happened, Vanessa has to redefine the great love story of her life – her great sexual awakening – as rape. Now she must deal with the possibility that she might be a victim, and just one of many.

This is no way an easy read, providing a thought provoking portrayal of one of the biggest issues of our time, but at times, I felt like I had to force myself to continue reading. 

Strane is clearly a manipulative abuser, but through Vanessa's first-person narrative, we see that she believes that there may be more to him. It's heart-breaking to witness his utter control and manipulation of her at such a young age. Her relationship with him appears to define her life in such a irrevocably disgusting way. Russell explores the narratives behind the #MeToo movement with clear sensitivity and research, but in a deeply disturbing way that questions Vanessa's own victimhood that unfortunately the modern press may also do. She herself cannot seem to accept that she was a victim, though Strane's gaslighting and rewriting of her memories sure plays a part in that. 

I liked how nothing in this book was particularly clear-cut, showing the reality and messiness of the situation, even to the very end. The writing was superb, extremely compelling and immersive. It tackles how we are complicit as a society in rape culture and asks us to respect the victim and their control over their own narrative. 

Review will be up on my blog on Monday

You probably know going into this that it's not the easiest read and ... it's really not. The problem tho is, it doesn't feel authentic. It feels like a rehash, pieces have been gathered (and referenced) from all over the place and pushed together without quite matching.

There's some really good stuff in there, the damage done to the main character is clear and obvious and at times screams out from the page even while she's denying it. More of that standard throughout the book would have helped.

I found this book a hard read,possibly because I have 16 year old daughter,I'm not entirely sure. I did not finish it but do appreciate the arc. Knowing these things happen is extremely thought provoking.

I have mixed feelings about this book. My Dark Vanessa was brilliantly written. The author was able to show us what was happening and how Vanessa was being groomed without holding our hands and pointing out how his behaviour was bad. She also didn't treat Vanessa like a victim and instead allowed that she made her own choices.

I can't fault the writing or the story for being absorbing because, despite not wanting to, I was engaged and wanted to know the outcome of their behaviours.
The problem was that the subject matter was so distasteful and made me feel so uncomfortable that I really didn't enjoy reading it at all. Several times I wanted to DNF but I felt that it was important to finish the story and find out what happened to them both.
To that end, I found the ending very disappointing as there was no real resolution or character development and I felt it was incomplete.

This is definitely not a book that I felt I enjoyed reading. But it was haunting, compelling... hard to ignore. The prose is beautifully crafted and the characters felt entirely real. This is definitely a difficult book to read and the graphic nature of the grooming, the sex (rape), and years of abuse are hard to stomach. It felt as if there was so much more lurking beneath the pages, so much that the characters still kept hidden from us, as if I were only allowed a glimpse into the pain Vanessa suffered.

The story is about Vanessa, a now 32-year old who was groomed by a teacher when she was in highschool. Through the emergence of a new claim against him, via social media, Vanessa is reluctantly drawn back into her past. Instead of simply reflecting back, the novel alternates between the present and the past. The reader accompanies Vanessa right back to her first day at the new prestigious boarding school, the first time she meets her English teacher. The story outlines painfully just how manipulative the abuse was. As a fifteen-year old, Vanessa falls in love, or believes that she's in love. She sees the relationship as romantic, consensual, equal. She denies any uncomfortable feelings that surface and is controlled and coerced by her teacher. It makes for an incredibly uncomfortable and frustrating read. As the reader, you want nothing more than to help her, save her, sometimes even shake her. And I certainly cannot recall actively hating a literary character as much as I did Jacob Strane for taking advantage.

This is a powerful, very visceral and harsh read. It's definitely a book I feel I would need to read again because the emotional punch was so very powerful.

This book was amazing. There have been so many over-hyped books already this year, but this is one of those that actually lives up to the hype.
It's very dark and not an easy read, due to the subject matter. (I perhaps didn't expect it to be quite so explicit)
I admire the author for not taking the easy way out with Strane (no spoilers here) - that was unexpected and I felt lent the MC's voice an authenticity, which wouldn't have happened if there had been a trial etc.
One of the best books I've read this year so far.

At fifteen Vanessa Wye becomes entangled in an affair with her English teacher, Jacob Strane, a man 27 years her senior. In 2017 Strane is accused of sexual abuse by another former student, a student who reaches out to Vanessa, making Vanessa face a choice she has avoided for many years. She can choose to protect Strane, and remain firm in the belief that her relationship with Strane was one she entered willingly and knowingly, and that he loved her and she him. A belief she has held since she was fifteen. Vanessa’s other choice is to re-examine her past and the relationship she thought she had with Strane. Vanessa is reluctant to do this, or to consider that Strane could be anything other than the man she has always believed.

I don’t really know where to start with this one to be honest. There is an awful lot to unpack and take out of this book, and I’ve been thinking about my review for a few days before I even considered trying to write it. I guess the best place to start is with trigger warnings:- paedophilia, sexual abuse, rape, gas-lighting, drug and alcohol abuse are all big parts of this book so avoid it if they aren’t your bag.

It took me a little bit of time to get into this book. I had an idea of what it was and what to expect from the blurb but because of the subject matter it makes for very uncomfortable reading. As an outsider you see from the very beginning that Strane is abusing Vanessa, but she is totally adamant that it is what she wants and that she is in control. I think I had assumed that the abuse would be subtler, or the lines more blurred, but that is definitely not the case. There is absolutely no way you could ever consider this as a love story, no matter how much Vanessa tells you that’s what it is. I wouldn’t say that the book is particularly graphic, but it doesn’t need to be. The scenes featuring sexual acts are described plainly, but to me that made the impact of them a lot more powerful. It’s very much like Vanessa has detached from herself when she is describing those scenes, which make the abuse all the more obvious.

The book moves between the past and present, all told from Vanessa’s first person point of view. We learn of how her ‘relationship’ with Strane developed and progressed, and steadily begin to realise the extent of the damage this relationship has caused Vanessa. The way the author has written this is truly fantastic writing. As a reader you really feel like you are stuck in Vanessa’s head with her. You get a full insight into how she yo-yos between hating Strane and needing his attention and affirmation. She has been a victim of gas-lighting for over fifteen years, and the effects are clear. We see Vanessa begin to realise what has been happening to her for so many years, and it’s distressing to read.

I thought Russell makes a very important point here in terms of the media and how they hassle and hassle for a story supposedly because they want justice but really because they want the byline. I particularly like Taylor’s quote “I thought it would make me feel empowered, instead I feel taken advantage of all over again”. I’ve spoken before in reviews about how I hate that reporters disregard a person’s right to privacy if they think it will give them a story, and this is another prime example. Vanessa has made it clear she doesn’t want to talk. I also think her therapist makes a good point when she says that there are different ways of dealing with trauma, and different ones work for different people. It is not up to any of us to tell victims of abuse what they should and shouldn’t be doing in order to try and help themselves come to terms with what happened to them. Obviously drinking and drug taking like Vanessa does are not healthy ways to cope with trauma, but forcing someone to confront events that they aren’t ready to confront could also be incredibly damaging.

All in all I felt that this book raises some really important points and questions about how we as a society view victims of abuse and the Me Too movement. It is a difficult book to read but yet is incredibly compelling. It’s a haunting book, it will stay with you for a long time after you finish it, but is something that is well worth reading.

Thanks to NetGalley and Fouth Estate for an arc in exchange for an honest review

This is a much-talked about debut novel about Vanessa Wye, a somewhat unusual, somewhat troubled girl, living in small-town Maine. She’s a loner, an introvert, but intelligent and intense; she’s also a huge temptation for Jacob Strane, her English teacher at Browick, a prestigious boarding school.

At first, one feels sorry for Vanessa. She’s taken advantage of by Strane, a very experienced teacher who takes Vanessa under his wing for guidance and mentoring with her writing. She isolates herself from others; she immerses herself in Strane’s world and nothing else matters.

Russell’s novel focuses on Vanessa’s life at Browick - and also, years down the line when she’s at university, but also post-education, when she is working in dead-end jobs - definitely positions below her. The narrative viewpoint and structure is, at times, confusing as the story skips ahead in time and then back - and not always seamlessly.

Later, it is clear that Vanessa can’t live without Strane but she also can’t live with him, figuratively or literally. She gets caught up with Henry, her professor and husband if one of Strane’s colleagues; she is befriended by a journalist, someone who wants her story; she makes little effort to make friends, largely because she doesn’t have the skills to make this happen.

This is a novel about disillusionment and abuse; it’s a novel about innocence and corruption; it’s about what can happen when we become obsessed with someone and have little control over how this works out - or perhaps we do but choose to ignore it.

‘My Dark Vanessa’ is an intense, somewhat overly-long novel which is not always comfortable to read. At times, one can’t help think about the implausible nature of parts of the story (the way the head teacher, Mrs Giles, initially deals with the allegations, for example). But, all in all, it’s a disturbing read, a novel that warns us of what can happen if our primal needs get the better of us - and then some.

“When Strane and I met, I was fifteen and he was forty five.”

Vanessa is 15 when she is groomed by her English teacher, starting a relationship which shapes the rest of her life. It’s terrifying to think of how easy it is for young vulnerable people to be drawn into what they perceive to be a “normal” relationship. It’s horrific, explicit and a fantastic read (which feels so wrong to say! Given the subject matter)

This is a dark, dark story which I enjoyed every second of.

This book goes back and forth in time from when Vanessa started a relationship with her english teacher when she was only 15, and her current life as an adult, more than a decade later. ⁠
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Told from her perspective, the story shows how everything began, the inner workings of a highly manipulative, abusive and toxic relationship between an adult man and a teenage girl, and all the ways she tried to convince herself that everything was normal (and even worse, her fault).⁠
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This was a very hard read. I couldn't wait for it to end, but I also wanted to know what happened to Vanessa, so I kept reading. I felt disgusted by the teacher in so many ways - mainly by his power to control her, by how he showed no remorse for what he did-, and felt sorry for how dependent, how "broken" Vanessa was by him throughout the years.⁠
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Lolita is referenced often in this book, and the overall theme is the same, but while I really enjoy the safe, almost dream-like distance between reader and narrator in Lolita, My Dark Vanessa was way, way darker, way more raw and disturbing, because you couldn't leave Vanessa's head. You either lived through all the traumas with her, or you didn't read the book at all.⁠
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This is a very well-written, eye-opening book that can help us make sense of what goes through the minds of many victims of abuse, and I'm glad I've had the chance to read it. However, it is a tough read and something I wouldn't recommend to everyone.⁠

Vanessa Wye is an introverted student with a passion for literature, Jacob Strane is her teacher and they connect through their shared interests ..........Jacob is 42 and .Vanessa is only 15 years old !!,


Jacob notices Vanessa when she attends his classes, he gives her books, she devours Lolita and in her he sees a kindred spirit. With Starnes increased attention Vanessa begins to feel special and their relationship takes a dark and distributing turn.

17 years on Vanessa is working as a hotel receptionist, still trying to figure out her life and numbing her senses with drinking, taking drugs and picking up men. She hears of a case of sexual abuse being taken against Jacob and she is transported back to her own school day experiences. Was this a great love affair or something completely different.?

This book was an unsettling ,uncomfortable read for me. The underlying issues of manipulation, control and grooming was harrowing. Abuse comes in many forms and can be viewed differently by each individual. Abuse victims suffer long term effects for many years and this was portrayed well in the book. I personally could not get my mind around the fact that Vanessa saw her relationship as a great love affair, and wondered if she could ever break free from Strane?

This is definitely not a cosy feel good book, but it does address some difficult subjects which deserve to be heard and acknowledged. The understanding of the subject was evident and thought provoking. Thank you to netgalley and the publishers for my chance to read this dark addictive book.

A compelling and deeply important novel which delves into the psyche of Vanessa, a 15 year old girl, who is groomed and taken advantage of by her much older teacher. While at times the book is difficult to read due to the extremely disturbing relationship, sexual scenes and the gaslighting and coercion that Vanessa undergoes as a young person, it is also a timely novel and will resonate with readers. I feel like Russell gets into the mindset of a teenager and the concerns of someone at that stage of their life so well, especially of a young person who feels isolated and adrift from her peers, left vulnerable to a predator like Jacob Strane.

This novel especially comes at a pivotal time due to the me too movement and other movements highlighting the impact of sexual assault and how widespread it is. While it definitely took me some time to get through, due to the triggering content and the dark nature of the story, it is definitely an important exploration of one survivors experience of abuse, even if she doesn't always consider herself a survivor or victim. It raises key questions about consent and the right of people to share or not to share their pain or survival stories with the world, Is it necessary for a survivor to come forward? The novel poses all these questions and more.

The novel provoked a lot of emotion in me, I was reeling from shock, anger and pain at what Vanessa and other characters in the novel experience at the hands of a manipulative and sick individual. This book is haunting in many ways and highlights a different narrative than any other I've read surrounding this topic and focuses firmly on Vanessa and her story, front and center.

This book is absolutely brilliant and very compelling reading. It demonstrates how completely groomed Vanessa was by someone in a position of power and how manipulative that person was. The events of a couple of years completely overtook her life and affected all her future relationships with friends and others. This is a very powerful read and I recommend it be read.

God this is a tough book to review! It’s taken me a few days since finishing it to actually decide whether or not I even LIKED it or not and I’ve had to resort to my asking myself if I want a copy of this book on my bookshelf to try and work out if I love it or hate it. And the answer that eventually came was “yes” I would want to have it on show on my shelves to read and in the future.
But be warned if you do want to read My Dark Vanessa that it is very VERY dark and does revolve around a sexual relationship between a 45 year man and a 15 year old girl. The girl has so obviously been groomed by her teacher but she doesn’t see it. It affects her entire life from that moment onwards especially when further details come to light 17 years later.
I did think it tried too hard sometimes and there were way too many Lolita references for what the author needed to get across but overall this book felt socially relevant and I admire the author for taking this route for her characters.
The ending was stunning and the final few pages were so emotionally charged that I read the final few pages again after I’d eventually finished. Not quite a 5 star read but pretty much there and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since I read it.

This is a brilliantly written novel dealing with a very difficult subject. It clearly illustrates the lifelong impact of grooming on a young vulnerable girl who, despite hearing of others claiming abuse at the hands of the same teacher, is convinced that hers was a love affair. Despite that supposed love it is interesting that Vanessa continues to refer to her abuser by his surname. The characters are so deftly described that it felt like a true story.

Ignore the awful marketing: This is a very good book about sexual abuse, psychologically believable, nuanced, complex, never relying on melodrama or cheap effects. What it is certainly not is "an era defining novel", and it has absolutely nothing new to say about the issues discussed - this doesn't matter though, because the perspective of the protagonist who has been groomed and been a victim of gaslighting for years is extremely well rendered - to be trapped inside her head, thrown into her emotional world is harrowing and conveys important insights. This is quality writing that stands on its own, it does not need to be hyped up and put on a pedestal made up of the silliest superlatives available. Just trust your material, publishers.

Our protagonist Vanessa Wye is 15 when her 45-year-old English teacher Jacob Strane first rapes her - for years afterwards, she holds on to the belief that his version of the events was true, that she had power over the situation, that she actually wanted everything that happened, that he loved her, and their relationship continues on and off way into her adult life. When we meet Vanessa at age 32, her whole person has disintegrated: She is stuck in a job below her potential, smokes too much weed, drinks too much, can't manage to keep her apartment clean, can't build stable relationships, has no direction or ambition. When other former students publicly accuse Strane of abuse in the context of the #metoo movement, Vanessa reaches a breaking point...

Entirely written from Vanessa's perspective, Russell tells the story in alternating timelines, providing her readers with elaborate flashbacks and numerous re-evaluations of scenes and situations from the past - we witness how Vanessa's concept of what happened to her and what she actually did changes as she confronts Strane then and now, and as she hears from other victims. You have to give kudos to Russell for really going where it hurts: Strane is not simply a monster, he is a very three-dimensional figure who uses his manipulative powers effectively. The author also talks about bystanders, the role of parents, friends, and the media, what's socially accepted and about where to draw the line. It's not simply a story about good vs. evil, the book tries to capture and question the whole messy reality and it addresses questions of guilt and responsibility.

For book people, the constant literary references (Strane is an English teacher, after all) are particularly intriguing: Of course, there's Lolita - in fact, lots and lots of Lolita -, then we have Pale Fire (which contains the line "My Dark Vanessa"), Titus Andronicus and other works. While the book isn't mentioned in the text, I was also constantly reminded of Tiger, Tiger, a French memoir in which Margaux Fragoso talks about the abuse she suffered from age seven up until her twenties - like Vanessa, she was psychologically manipulated, felt emotionally dependent and even pitied her abuser.

Readers who followed the reporting about #metoo will recognize all the phenomena Russell describes, especially the loss of identity which results from the belief that the victim cannot trust her own perceptions and emotions because she has been told constantly that they are incorrect. While this book is certainly suitable for younger readers as well, it's not YA, but proper literary fiction, relevant, intelligent and very readable.