I did struggle with this book, I found it hard to follow and I lost track of who's point of view I was reading from at times. This took alot of the enjoyment of reading it away from me. I also found it hard to connect with the characters. ... I powered through though and I'm glad I did.
Thank you to the author, publisher and netgalley for allowing me to read in return for an honest review.

This novel is only one small shelf away from the unreliable narrator category – a woman picks through her life as her husband lies dying in hospital. There's a first extra-marital affair, there's memories of this, that and the other, but it's not all her – no, the near-to-death man chips in with a chapter of his own now and again, almost the only times we drop from the first person, and she also reads her daughter's diary in flashback, so we get to learn some real truths. Right from the off I was convinced this was a novelist writing this – the celebrity name on the cover did give me some pause for worry beforehand, as it might anyone. Two other things to say in that regard, though – one, the diary as written by a school-aged girl never began to convince, and two, I dread to think how many Blue Peter watchers of old will be scarred by Janet Ellis writing in the first person about giving a blow job, on the very first page.

Ellis has a great ear for metaphors and similes, and a great eye too for the tiniest slices of life – a boy picking and eating his knee scab, as we all did. But at times they did feel forced onto the page because she'd been told she must do it. You could almost say the same about the historical detail – the answering a landline phone by stating your number, etc – but that was in the end too likeable. What wasn't so much fun harks back again to how I closed the last paragraph. You get a third of the way through the book, still with the past to be told about in its own sweet time, but the summary then was merely 'mother (re)discovers sex, daughter discovers sex'. Actually, that's only most of the truth for someone else rediscovers sex as well, but then the book slams a moral on to say that sex is fine, but only if you're level-headed about everything.

Ultimately, for me, this moral came too slowly, and in its Zolaesque manner felt like something I'd read elsewhere. There is craft here, and plotting, and definitely character, but also too much left hanging. Why did the daughter make the disparaging comments about the cleanliness of the place? And where is this place they live – a place that is not a town, for they need a train station to get to a town, even though most train stations like the one they start in are in, er, towns. Ultimately, this was a reasonable read, but I think 'too much' is the key phrase, for this didn't really deserve its bulk and could have been much shorter.

A book that makes you feel part of the story, Marion is such a likeable character, searching for what she probably has already got. As the story progresses you see her heading for disaster and you are willing her to turn back. The story is told from different characters thoughts, without introduction, but it made for a more interesting read, sometimes it was Sarah - Marion's daughter telling her version of the same event and sometimes the timeline changes which was also interesting. The writing is a good style and the story has sadness in it and we are left to work out what happens between the couple Michael and Marion but he seems to end well for Michael. Once the last page is read and the book closes it still leaves you thinking about Marion's journey.

Having read other books by Ellis in the past, I was caught off guard by how easily she can approaches different subject matter. Definitely the mark of a versatile writer.

I felt there were a number of emotive and poignant moments throughout the book that were memorable due to how well written they were. I have to admit, I did struggle to connect with a number of the characters of times, but there was certainly enough going on within the book to keep me continuing with it.

Overall, I did quite like it. Thought it was a solid read.

With thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for the ARC.

I thought this book was really well written and willing to think that the disjointed narrative and difficulty in working out who was telling their story was down to it being an advance e copy.
However, when I got to the point where Michael is asked when he wants to turn off the " machine" and to make a quick decision as the doctor was off for the weekend I just thought that was enough. NHS staff may be overwhelmed and overworked, but in 40 years of working in it that was not a realistic scenario.
I couldn't face reading the rest of the book.
Thank you to netgalley and John Murray press for an advance copy of this book.

On the face of it, this book sounded as though it would be right up my street, but in reality I was a little disappointed.

It was an honest, warts and all picture of a woman’s marriage and her relationship with her children told mostly retrospectively at the end of her husband’s life. Although the story was heartbreakingly sad I struggled to warm to any of the characters apart from the son, Eddie.

I found a lot of the story disjointed and consequently often struggled to work out which character was speaking and at what point in time. This made the story jar at times for me and I struggled to fully immerse myself in it.

An interesting story of complex family relationships. Very emotive. Takes dedicated concentration to follow the different characters. Definitely worth a read.
ARC copy.

This was a well written in depth look at a family covering many years and spanning the ups and downs of life. A myriad of emotions are covered and you can feel how the pendulum of life can go either way.

I wanted to like this book but had to give up reading it. The writing jarred jumping from different viewpoints frequently so that I couldn't work out which character was talking. It's rare that I give such a low rating as I'd rather not post a review if the book is not to my taste. This time I make an exception, even though I'm aware of the hard work involved in writing a book. Such a shame because I would usually be invested in disruptive and dysfunctional character stories.

I understood that concentration is required to read this book and I tend to agree. Even so I still found it a little disjointed and difficult to see who was saying what at what time.

Saying that, the book is well written and an interesting story about Marion and her family set from the 70’s to present day. The book starts with Marion sitting by her husband in a hospital bed basically waiting for him to die. The past is then recounted as we learn of her longing for excitement and the effect that her actions have on her family.

If you stick with it then you will be rewarded in the end by a decent story although I can’t say it was one of my favourites. Many thanks to NetGalley for an ARC.

This was not a book for me. I thought it sounded super interesting but I’m reality I didn’t like the characters. I couldn’t empathize with any of them

The book was confusing. I couldn’t decide if Marion was speaking or Sarah but it was well written with some good descriptions

I finished the book and wondered what on earth I’d read. There seemed to be no point to the story. The ending didn’t make sense to me and I just felt sick at the personalities of the characters

# How It Was # Netgally
I was sure I had already sent my review off about this book, I guess not. I travel much so the review slipped through the net I have to be honest as I always an regarding reviews. I actually thought this book was slow ok in many ways you can not make it really exciting watching over a !over one in hospital. Especially as if you are expecting the person do die. Although it was a slow starter it was also compulsory reading. I know one seems to contradict the other. However it's how this book and storyline was the compulsive side of the book in the end won me over.
It being on the slow side with many memories that was being told it never really picked up pace. At no time did I see what was coming at all. It actually ended up being a real jaw dropped that never ever did I expext, it certainly changed my entire view of the book completely. In fact it was so clever how the author wrote this book, because once you find that real sting in the tale ( stor) you actually realise the book was not slow at all. A amazing piece of a extremely cleverly writing. Genuinely not only did I find it a compulsive reading. Yet thinking it was a s!ow book to read just didn't seem to gel. You do have to ask yourself how can you find a book that's slow to read yet compulsive reading at the same timd. I honestly think you definitely should WITHOUT DOUBT READ THIS BOOK. IT'S MOST DEFINITELY GOT SUCH A MASSIVE STING IN THE TAIL OF LITERALLY CATCHES YOU OUT AMAZING EXTREMELY CLEVER MUST READ

This was just ok for me, I enjoyed some parts but not others. The flipping back and forth all the time started to annoy me and I found it hard to identify with any of the characters. That being said this was a quick read and did have some surprising sides to it and so could be something others may like just not my fave.

Unfortunately I just could not get going with this book. Marian is not a particularly likeable character, and I must say it’s not surprising that her marriage eventually unravelled.

I am not a great fan of stories told through diary entries, and the changes in timeline, and which character’s narrative I was reading became just too much like hard work.

I am sure some readers will find it enjoyable, but it is not for me.

My thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for my advance copy.

HOW IT WAS – JANET ELLIS
It took me a little while to get into it and work out exactly what was going on. The beginning of the story is set in a hospital ward where Marion’s husband, Malcolm, is dying. You soon discover this story is set over more than one period and the beginning is really the end with Marion reading out letters and showing photographs to her dying husband. This sets the scene for the story.
A lot of the story is set in the 70s and is based on what happened to the couple and their children Sarah and Eddie when the children were young. In the main story Sarah is a difficult teenager and Eddie is just seven. Marion is a bored housewife who is inclined to have affairs. She has an affair with Philip before Eddie is born and then another with the father of one of Sarah’s school friends, Adrian. Marion herself is not very likeable. She has an unfortunate selfish streak and does not always treat her family well. She is undeservedly rude to her husband and reads her daughter’s diary when she is at school. The only member of the family who she appears to really care about is Eddie, who she is constantly worried about.
I enjoyed the book a lot. You can work out quite quickly that it is not going to end well and because of that I was intrigued to see what was going to happen to the family. The characters, other than Eddie, are not particularly likeable. You could see that Sarah would probably turn out alright in the end though. Malcolm was safe and reliable if a little boring and Adrian, who Marion has her second affair with, is pompous and arrogant. Why she would choose to have an affair with him is rather baffling. However, I found the characters and the situations they found themselves in believable. I have not read The Butcher’s Hook, but after reading this I would be inclined to.

I love Janet Ellis' writing, but couldn't connect to this book so much. I still think the writing was really good. The way she gave her characters a voice, made Marion so unlikeable was impressive. I really don't have an issue with characters being unlikeable. But. for me the plot was the biggest issue here. For long time, I didn't know why I was reading the book. There was no direction.
The book is written from Marion's perspective. Her husband Michael is in his death bed with terminal illness, and the timeline jumps back and forth. She finds her daughter Sarah's diary at home and starts to read it.
It felt confusing for long time, and I just couldn't connect to the story, and the characters.

I still think it's a type of book some will enjoy a lot, some will not. So, I'd give it a shot. But, it wasn't for me.
I really like Ellis' writing, so I'd pick up another book from her in future.

Thanks a lot Netgalley and the publisher for this copy in exchange for an honest review.

This is a beautiful and at times heartbreaking story of one family over the years. Told from three points of view, Marion the mother, Sarah the daughter and Eddie the son. The story starts at the side of Michaels (father) hospital bed and returns there throughout.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publishers for the ARC in return for an honest and unbiased opinion.

After reading some of the reviews for this book, I very nearly didn't bother reading it. How glad am I that I ignored the negativity and got stuck in. It's a fantastic read, telling the story of Marion Deacon, wife to Michael and mother to Sarah and Eddie. Whilst sitting at her husband's bed waiting for him to die, Marion's memory takes her back almost 40 years to a time when she was young and reckless, filled with desire for another man. Her relationship with daughter, Sarah, leaves a lot to be desired, whilst son Eddie, is an absolute joy - by far my favourite character. The story is narrated by the three of them in turn. I would have loved to have heard Michael's side of the story. I was really surprised to learn the author is Janet Ellis of Blue Peter fame. I'm excited now to read more of her work.

A marriage in retrospect

Marion is at her ex-husband's deathbed. Gradually we find out how her marriage unravelled.
This was a hard book to get into. The main character, Marion, is unlikeable with her selfish affairs ruining the lives of her whole family. I found the frequently changing viewpoints confusing, making the story-line disjointed. Janet Ellis is clearly an accomplished writer, with some evocative phrases, such as 'Death is stroking Michael's face' describing Marion's grief for her ex-husband. However, surely no hospital would leave life support machines unsupervised by a doctor for a weekend! So unrealistic that I couldn't read on after that part.

The narrative is mainly the viewpoint of Marion, wife to Michael, mother to Eddie and Sarah but it also provides chapters from Sarah, in the form of diary entries, and Michael and Eddie so you need to fix your bearings at each chapter. The story highlights the trudging domesticity of Marion as she looks after her family in the 70s and her longing for change and excitement through doomed affairs.
The timeline is mainly flashbacks as we are aware that Michael is in hospital with a terminal illness and Marion is laden with guilt at her indiscretions. I'm afraid I didn't feel any empathy with Marion, however. Perhaps this is because we get everyone's viewpoint so the identification is watered down.
The characters are well drawn and believable but because the emphasis is on the drudgery of Marion's life the narrative lacks a spark.