I was anxious to read this ARC because I had enjoyed The Summer of Jordi Perez so much. In fact, a friend purchased the ARC for me through a charity auction but then it never arrived (even after she was assured that the auction would contact the author remind her to send the book) so that led to much disappointment for both of us. Reading the book was another disappointment. I had a hard time grasping the two timelines at first but eventually caught on. The biggest issue was that I didn't understand why I should care about either girl. Kat was clueless about how she was alienating her best friend as she filtered everything through her new relationship. James' excuses for not telling her best friend the LIFE-CHANGING events happening to her were weak and really unbelievable considering they are supposed to be best friends. It's no wonder both of them are sad about the other. And I totally expected a final chapter where we were given some hope with them making the first overtures to reconciliation.

Thank you NetGalley!

I think there are way to many books about there about relationship (love) breakups. I mean its always the same story boy meets girl and they fall in love. Boy breaks up with girl and she becomes a hot mess. Blah blah blah.

Finally, here is a story about something very important that happens all too often. Friendship breakups. Which I think hurt more than love breakups. What I loved most about this book is that it is told from both sides of Kat and James (a girl with a boys name) so you get a good look at their relationship and what happened to it.. I loved both of their characters and didn't believe it was a one sided loss. Sometimes people grow apart and its awful when it happens to people that close.

I'm saving this for my 13 year old to read...

Heartbreaking, this novel delves into a common break up that teenagers face, the best friend break up. Told in dual timelines, the reader is given a glimpse into the lives of the characters as they try to survive their senior year.

I really wanted to like this book, and to me it fell a little bit flat. The writing was good I just couldn't connect to the characters as much as I wanted to!

I received an advanced copy of this book through NetGalley and the publisher in exchange for an honest review. Thank you for the opportunity to read this book early. I very much enjoyed this book, although it can seem confusing at times with the reverse chronology. We Used to Be Friends is about 2 BFF's James (a girl) and Kat who've been besties since kindergarten. As they enter senior year of HS, we start off with Kat, but not before we zoom past to *after* their senior year and to James' perspective. I highly recommend re-reading the first chapter when you finish this book, it will make more sense.

Anyway, we go back and forth until we switch places in timeline of their friendship, which is tested with real life stuff going on with James' family issues and Kat's discovery of her interest in her new friend Quinn (a girl). One thing I was a little skeptical about was a character 17 yr old not knowing what heteronormative means. However, I'll let that pass as James had a lot on her plate, but it's interesting how she copes by getting into volunteering. It is a beautiful, sad, funny at times story, and I was only a little annoyed at the "duh"'s Kat likes to verbalize, which is a nervous tic. As someone who let years go by before forgiving my best friend and rekindling a friendship with her, I could relate to the plot of the book. Excellent read.

A often uncomfortable, heart-breaking read, that gives real insights in to friendships and how they can break down. A very thought provoking and real read that focuses on something that everyone experiences but nobody talks about.

We Used to be Friends is an interesting look at how relationships change over time. People change and it's OK. The book is heartbreaking and at times uncomfortable in its truthful representation of break ups. We Used to be Friends will make you laugh and cry!

Thank you to NetGalley for my copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

I LOVED THIS. I loved every character and every scene. I have been dying to read a book with female friendship as it's central theme and I prepared myself to be disappointed, but I wish I could go back to yesterday and read it again for the first time. This story is written so thoughtfully, big themes are big, but also, not, at the same time. The complexity with which every relationship and character is written is a breath of fresh air, I feel like I understand myself better by reading this. I feel like I have so much to say, but I'm so overwhelmed that I don't know how to say it. Absolutely fantastic work

We used to be friends tell the story that many of us know all too well, the collapse of a friendship,
Two friends that were so different, but made it work.
While I did find the jumbled timeline of this book to be choppy at best, and the characters unlikable and deeply flawed, I appreciated the story it told.

Senior year of high school, two teenage girls dealing with divorce, loss, betrayal and the basic growth as human beings.
It is horrible when you realize that you have changed and outgrown something you thought would be with you forever.

When reading this book I had a very strong opinion as to who caused the break in this friendship, but now that I'm done, and I'm thinking back about it, I see that I was wrong. It was not one persons fault, as it very rarely is.

I really enjoyed this book even more than I thought. I though the author did well with showing the relationship struggles between Kat and James. I really loved the fact that it showed things slowly unravel rather than a big change that disrupts it all. The only thing is the book left me wanting a little more. Who know though? Maybe they’ll be a sequel. Regardless, I really liked this book & would definitely recommend it.

Friendship breakups are the worst. They wreck us and haunt us and there just aren't enough books written about those kinds of breakups. This was a beautiful, heart-wrenching read. It will be a great addition to our school library. Thank you netgalley for this arc, it was a really well written book in a neat format.

Amy Spalding is probably my most favourite new-to-me author of 2019. Her young adult novels are exciting and different and have these beautiful human relationships. Also, some of those human relationships are f/f and there is no fetishisation of them or anything like that. Everyone is just a person, a well fleshed out, well written person. I honestly just love writing like this.

In this novel, we get something a bit different, in that James' side of the story is told from the end, backwards, and Kat's side of the story goes from the start and goes forward. They both cover the same year of time, that being the senior year of high school. They both cover the same events, from the differing points of view.

I did find the backwards and forwards telling a little bit difficult to keep on top of for maybe the first third of the novel, but I can definitely say that the pay off by the end was definitely there.

I understand now the parts that made other people cry. And that last chapter... I honestly don't know whether the author was trying to make a bittersweet ending or leave the story on a kind of hopeful note, but honestly either reading works quite well.

Kat is the character who is far more vivacious and excitable, however she has a serious side as well. We don't see a lot of her mourning her mother, but it is referenced. James is quite and taciturn. She is sporty and has a 15 year plan... which kind of goes ass over tits when it turns out that her mum has been having an affair and leaves her dad.

Despite the differences of the personalities of these two girls, they've been best friends since kindergarten, and the story is captivating as it is sad to watch the deterioration of that friendship over the course of just one year.

I seem to be one of the only early reviewers that didn’t love this. I just found the characters to act much younger than high school seniors, and I thought the dual timelines were confusing. I did enjoy the subject matter because I think friend breakups are something that’s never covered in YA lit and they do truly suck. I just didn’t love the execution of this novel.

The title pulls no punches. This is all about the break-up of all break-ups, and though it’s upsetting on occasion I couldn’t help but warm to both James and Kat.
James and Kat were paired together in kindergarten and have been best friends since. Our story opens with them about to go to college, and things are no longer looking as rosy as they were.
The premise itself is quite straightforward. Two friends are developing and their relationship is shifting. They’re dealing with family issues, evolving relationships and the movement into adulthood. So, what’s special about this?
For me, it comes down to the innovative structure of the novel. We get alternating viewpoints, which allow us to see both perspectives, and then there’s the construction of those views. James’s story begins with her about to start college, reflecting on the last year and examining just how her relationship with her best friend came to such a place. Kate’s story opens at the beginning of senior year, full of promise and excitement as she begins a new relationship and slowly comes to learn some of her flaws.
Both characters were flawed. Kat was highly dramatic and self-obsessed, while James was reticent to discuss emotions never mind deal with them. Cutting between time/situation lent a fascinating air to this. We could see how it would end up, and the signs were obvious but both seemed unable to do anything to salvage it.
Though I enjoyed the style of telling, and grew to feel some compassion for both characters, I’m not entirely sure what the message of this book is. Relationships change. Sometimes people aren’t what you thought. Too much introspection is a bad thing. Too much self-obsession is a bad thing.
I’m grateful to NetGalley for granting me access to this in exchange for my thoughts. This might be one to return to.

I loved this book. There are a million books written about a broken heart about a break up, but it is true that our friends can break our hearts as well. Those long-lasting friendships or just as and often more significant to our lives than romantic ones.

High school and college are about making big decisions and changing and growing, and sometimes people we love grow apart from us. We Used to Be Friends is a delightful and poignant book about the changes that happen to our relationships over time. It focuses on a friendship, but also includes the changes between parents and children and romantic relationships as well.

The book changes point of view between two friends, James and Kat, during their senior year. Though the two girls are vastly different, I find myself liking them both and being sympathetic to them both. As their friendship unravels, I do not think it is solely one person's fault over the other, and they both make mistakes and have good intentions.

This is another book that will go in my classroom library!

I received an ARC of this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review – thanks so much to Netgalley for sending this to me!

I have been excited for this book ever since the announcement, because the main comp title was my favourite musical of all time, The Last Five Years. The musical follows Cathy and Jamie, a young couple who meet, fall in love, get married… and then get a divorce. What really makes the musical interesting, though, is its non-linear narrative: while Jamie tells his side of the story from beginning to end, Cathy tells it from end to beginning. We alternate between the two perspectives, watching them fall in and out of love at the same time, and it’s heartbreaking. When I heard that someone was writing that, but with best friends, I knew I had to get my hands on it. Best friend break-ups are equally as sad and painful as romantic ones, and yet they aren’t viewed in the same way. People don’t write songs about losing touch with a friend, or realising you don’t click with someone any more – but they should. This book is evidence of why.

We Used To Be Friends follows Kat and James (cute) who have been BFFs since childhood. It takes place during their senior year when everything is changing – James’ family is falling apart, she’s broken up with her boyfriend and is frustrated that her whole life is expected to revolve around college admissions, whereas Kat is fighting this constant desire for perfection alongside an all-consuming new relationship, realisations about her sexuality and the fact that her father, a widower, has started finally looking for love.
I loved this story for the same reason I love the musical: both of the characters are culpable, and they both have aspects of themselves that were dislikeable. James is closed-off, judgemental and kind of self-righteous, and she has a jealous streak; Kat is ditzy, self-absorbed and a godawful listener, as well as being super changeable, finding new hobbies and causes to care about at the drop of a hat. At the same time, I cared for them both very deeply by the end – although I had more of a soft spot for Kat. She could be irritating and melodramatic, but I thought James was pretty cruel to her, gossiping behind her back and griping about all of her little mannerisms in a way that made it harder to sympathise with James’ point of view. I wonder if this was an intentional choice, since in the original musical Jamie is arguably a less sympathetic character than Cathy (I love him, but dude makes some awful decisions).

Ultimately I think the reason this story hit me is that it was so real. It really hit the nail on the head with the way it showed that best friends can know each other so well that the knowing becomes a negative thing, causing you to see one another in the worst light. James in particular becomes so focused on Kat’s shortcomings that it’s all she can see, whereas Kat is so wrapped up in her own drama that she struggles to recognise her own role in neglecting their friendship. The whole thing is so honest and poignant that when I finished the book I kind of had to sit there and just marinate in my own sadness for a while, which was weirdly cathartic.

I think this is a book I’m going to have to reread at some point, because while I picked it up specifically for the non-linear narrative it was pretty hard to get my head around what was going on a lot of the time, which I think was the case with the musical too – I had to watch and listen several times before I fully understood everything that happened. However, I do have to mention that the formatting of the ARC really didn’t help matters – I won’t hold this against the book itself because obviously that’ll be fixed before the release, but honestly it was so bad that it made this potentially confusing book an absolute nightmare to read. It was laid out
like this, so that some sentences had random line-breaks, and
sometimes the dialogue of two characters would be on the same line, so that it took several attempts to figure out who was actually speaking. Oh yeah, and the header of the title randomly appeared in the middle of several pages so you’d be reading and it would randomly say WE USED TO BE FRIENDS in the middle of a paragraph, which at first I thought was some weird subliminal message thing but I later figured out was just a formatting issue. Obviously ARCs are not final, but I feel like there should be some attempts made to at least make them readable, because I did struggle at times. I’m excited to pick up a finished copy and see whether I can keep everything straight in my head the second time around.

My ultimate takeaway from this book is that it was the sad, validating, often-times frustrating read I needed in my life, and I really appreciated it. Some people may not be a fan of this, because it’s super bittersweet, the characters are both pretty dislikeable in their own ways and it doesn’t have a happy ending – but that’s kind of the point. If James and Kat were perfect characters, they would have stayed friends. If it had a happy ending, that would have been a disservice to the source material (though I would have forgiven it, because I wanted SO BADLY for them to make friends again). At the end of the day, We Used To Be Friends was a really awesome book and I’m so happy I had the chance to read it.

THIS WAS SO. FREAKING. GOOD.

Oh my god, I was so excited for this book and it completely delivered??? The dual timelines was a genius move, and helped the book end on the <em>perfect</em> bittersweet moment.

Everything about this was amazing. Kat and James were both so real, so flawed, and yet both really good people who kept screwing up and just sort of grew out of each other. That was my favorite part, that it wasn't some big fight that broke them up. They just slowly stopped gelling with each other and their friendship crumbled even while they were both trying to save it in their own ways.

Gahhhh this was so much better than I was even anticipating! Also, I wasn't expecting the f/f relationship, which made it a million times better.

PS. I really loved Logan?? Give Logan a happy ending!!!!

Thank you Netgalley for sending me this arc. I will be reviewing this book in the near future with an honest rating and review.

This was was about breakups. Sometimes in life breakups stay breakups and the romantic comedy you think your life is doesn't end with a nice little bow. Unfortunately when it comes to this story all that is left are questions. There seems to be little to no resolution for the characters other than the realization that friends, parents, boyfriends are people who might change their minds someday and things might work out. Spalding uses a timeline throughout the book that is a bit confusing since it jumps throughout the senior year of their main characters. As a reader, we have no idea who to root for, and we know even less than the characters do. Their actions seem abrupt and confusing since we don't see their stories in chronological order. The story also jumps between the girls which adds another layer of confusion.
To be clear, I don't think this kind of story is bad, but it's definitely not my favorite. The format and dual perspective does add another layer of confusion and irritation for me.

James and Kat are the very best of friends...until they aren't anymore. There's no scandal or singular betrayal that erodes their friendships. It's more like 1,000 tiny cuts tear at the bonds that held these two together. Spalding creates a fascinating narrative structure with dueling chronological perspectives (forward and reverse), as well as oscillating narrative perspectives between the two friends. It's a book about friendships - old and new - and about growing up. It's a thoughtful mediation on both family and relationships.

Many thanks to the author, publisher, and NetGalley for providing me with a copy of the book in exchange for an honest review.