He said he was looking for a 'partner in crime' which everyone knows is shorthand for 'a women who isn't real'.

Despite the premise of this book sounding like something written by Sophie Kinsella or Lindsay Kelk, this book is not light or fluffy as it contains major triggers for rape and sexual abuse. It is not a topic that was brushed over or mentioned lightly, considering the chick-lit vibe the book has at the beginning, so use caution while reading.

I love Holly Bourne and was completely amazed by her previous novel, The Places I've Cried In Public, which I read earlier this year. It follows a similar theme when it comes to abuse, but in this book it was explored even more careful. I like how much research went into this novel, and especially that the way Holly writes her charaters is psychologicaly precise and multilayered.

April was complex and memorable character. She was written in a relatable way, with her struggles of wanting to be loved and being in a relationship, yet being unable to trust men and thinking every one of them will hurt her. Her anxiety was shown in such a realistic way, as well as her panic, obsession and self-blame. I loved her character arc as well, as she really progressed and matured over time.

I think what really stood out to me is how emotionally the rape aspect was portrayed, with April's triggers and guilt, and the way her job was affecting her and her mental health. However, it realistically shown some other adult struggles, like not being married after 30, people wanting to help but none of them completely understanding, it all felt balanced and complex.

Even though I assumed this book will have a positive message, I'm glad Holly really did justice to April's story. It a perfect balance of feminism, healing, and learning to love yourself. I'm completely sure now that Holly Bourne is amazing author, and I wanna read every single thing she's ever written.

Thanks to Netgalley and Hodder & Stoughton for providing me with eARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.

This was a very hard-hitting, difficult but excellent read. Parts of it were extremely funny in a dark sort of way, and others made me cry. Deserves ALL the hype.

A difficult read as it deals with some emotional issues, but I wanted to finish to see what happened in the end.

In this cool contemporary written by Holly Bourne, we follow April who feels out of place in the world. So she does what everybody else does, become somebody else on the Internet. Dating is a particularly difficult subject for her so when her attempts at dating keep failing, she takes on this persona Gretel. As soon as Gretel becomes real, Joshua messages her and they begin seeing each other. See, Gretel is everything that April isn’t. Gretel is the manic pixie dream girl that men want but as she and Joshua grow closer together, April must decide to tell him the truth that Gretel isn’t real or keep on lying to him and hiding behind this façade.

On the outside, this book seems like an adult contemporary book that you can easily breeze through. Though yes, that is true we also have some hard-hitting subjects such as PTSD and abuse. She works at a charity helpline helping people with what she went through herself. This constantly triggers her but she knows she is doing something good from a bad situation.

Overall, this book was a solid read considering that this was Bourne’s second book in the adult genre.

3 out of 5 stars.

Hmm I'm definitely on the fence with this one. I love Holly's writing and I so wanted to love this but I found it just ok. I love how Holly always picks important and thought provoking topics in her stories. This one focuses on April and how she is coping with the aftermath of being a victim of rape by her boyfriend and how this has impacted her life in terms of dating and how she views men. Understandably April comes across as very angry but I didn't really enjoy the whole hatred of all men nor the whole April/Gretal saga. There were some bits that gave me a chuckle and parts of it were very apt in relation to the world of dating in the modern age of dating apps when your in your 30's. However i just found that the story dragged and I wasn't invested in it as much as some of Holly's previous books

Let me start by saying I am a big fan of Holly’s YA novels (even at age 32) and I quite liked her debut adult novel last. But I could not get into this. The main character is so negative and immature and moaned too much. I wanted a light easy, funny read and the part that I read before I gave up just wasn’t that. I didn’t want to invest any more time in it, especially when I read other reviews saying this book is basically about a girl dealing with past trauma which just sounds too heavy for me. Sorry, not for me. DNF at 20%.

Well where to I start. Holly bourne has done it again. I’ve always loved her books even though they’re YA they’re easy to read and just make sense and this is just that. Absolutely loved it!

Hmmm.....I've always had a soft spot for Holly Bourne, but this novel just didn't engage me in the same way as her others, and the main character was difficult for me to engage with. I've delayed writing about it because I don't like being negative about an author I usually love, but I found the way it was written somewhat cliched for such an important subject.

TW: Rape

April just can't trust men. A sweeping statement but she constantly finds herself getting as far as date 5, thinking she has a real connection with her current love interest, only for her heart to be shattered when she's told she's disillusioned about the situation. April is also a rape survivor, which makes it harder for her to trust men. She loves her job in the charity sector but recent correspondence is triggering April and making her angry. She decides she's had enough and wants revenge. She decides she will be Gretel, 'perfect woman', that cool girl who makes everything seem effortless and glides through life and love without a care in the world. Dating as Gretel will be fun and no one will get hurt this way. Right?

I like Holly Bourne's books usually and while I did enjoy this, I didn't click with it. Maybe it's because I've never been in April's situation as a young woman in the dating scene. April is very frank with her thoughts and she's not an overly likeable character. Which is perfectly fine, she's not meant to be, she's complex which is realistic. If you're expecting a fun, witty light book, this isn't it, which you've probably gleamed considering the traumas of rape is being discussed and April is angry a lot of the time. The book is does have it's humorous moments but it can be very dark at times. If rape is a trigger, then this book is not for you. It can be harrowing but I appreciate Bourne writing about this subject and being very open and honest about how it can effect your life.. There were certain elements to this book I didn't like. For example I didn't like April saying she didn't trust any man, except her work buddy but that's because he's gay, OF COURSE he's gay, all the GOOD men are gay. I get that some people do talk like this and I've found the dialogue in previous Bourne books to be down to earth and not sanitised. However this didn't sit well with me at all. Neither did the fact that April continually seems to put herself through sex when it's not comfortable for her, it may possibly be close to how someone might try to push through their trauma but I hope others don't read this and think that it's the norm to do this or that you have to continue with an act you don't feel comfortable with because you don't want to appear not cool. There are some positives, I liked the group that April joins and the friendships with other survivors that begin to blossom, as well as April starting counselling (even if her loaded friend conveniently pays for it) and the reveal that Joshua is also worried about how things are with Gretel/April (even if it was a bit 'look boys have worries too!'). The book covers important issues but I feel like I prefer Bourne's writing style when she's writing YA books

I’ve been meaning to pick up some of Holly Bourne’s previous work for quite some time now.
But if you’re already a fan, I’ve got a feeling you will love her first foray into adult fiction as well.
This is about life and love, as well as dating after trauma. And it is powerful, honest and so refreshing to read.
Thank you to Netgalley for providing me with an advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Trigger warning for rape.

I really love this authors YA writing, and I think this is where her skills really flourish. I have read the author’s other adult novel and I really didn’t enjoy it, but wanted to give this one a fair go. However I found the character very immature considering she was meant to be in her thirties (perhaps making the concept better suited to a teen character or very early twenties). I also found the gender stereotypes a bit old fashioned which was a surprise from this author. And it was very hard to like or dislike the character, she just didn’t seem real.

As a survivor myself, I think the author trying to highlight issues relating to sexual assault etc is great, but I just don’t think the book did the best thing it could with the subject matter, sadly.

I will continue to enjoy Bourne’s YA work as I work with teens, but I don’t think the adult novels she produces are mature enough for the intended audience.

Thank you to the publisher for providing a copy of this book for review

It sounds cliché: a 33 year old woman with a terrible love life hates all men and decides to pretend to be a Manic Pixie Dream Girl to get a guy… Then accidentally starts falling for said guy. But, it couldn’t be less predictable.

Holly Bourne is incredibly talented at discussing feminist topics and Pretending is no different. It asks questions about ‘men hating feminists’ and if marriage and children should be the default, or even something to aspire to. The complexity of conversations and the natural way they are interwoven with April’s character development is flawless.

That’s the wild thing about reading a Holly Bourne book. No matter if it’s YA or adult, all of her characters have distinctive, strong voices. No book is the same but every book is consistently brilliant. I loved the female friendships depicted in Pretending and the varied ways they could exist - from Megan the room-mate to the Better Out Than In girls. Reading about how multiple women in the book have struggled in their relationships and tried a variety of ways to ‘solve’ their life added to April’s story, but also made the supporting characters interesting and valuable.

Likewise, the way Joshua (the guy April tries to fool) is described was wonderfully clever. He seems different - but is he actually? He seems nice - but he does annoying things too, so does that mean he’s wrong for April? She can see his good sides and his flaws, so what does that mean? Every aspect of the story was well thought out, and April’s work at a sex and relationships charity clearly stems from Bourne’s own experiences. I could not stop reading this book but the ending was absolutely flawless! It’s one of the best endings I’ve read this year and I wouldn’t change a single thing about it.

A book starting with the sentence "I hate men" was bound to be compelling, but Holly Bourne carefully peels the layers behind a lot of the thoughts and feelings women carry about men and relationship expectations. The feeling after reading is like a light shining on the inside of your soul and forcing you to let go of the rubbish you've been collecting. Great read

I'm in two minds about this book. Whilst I enjoyed the content and the characters, I felt that the plot was a little repetitive at times. Pretending is an incredibly powerful book but it felt like it was lacking in something for me. At times the novel felt more like an autobiography than fiction and while the book is very much some people's reality, I wasn't sure which camp the book fell into at times.

CW: Rape, sexual assault, PTSD, trauma.

Pretending was not an easy read. It asks some painful, complicated and difficult questions but it answers them with courage, understanding and an overall empowering message of hope.

April is a rape survivor and decides, after yet another failed attempt to date someone new and move on from her trauma, that she will create an alias - "Gretel" - whereby she will be every man's fantasy and hence have all the power in the relationship. Detached, cool, not needy, no baggage. She will act like a woman who has never experienced sexual violence. She will treat men like they have treated her - for her own needs, serving a purpose, nothing more. It doesn't quite go to plan.

Add to this April's job, which is working as a team leader for a sexual health and trauma helpline/charity. She loves the work but finds herself regularly triggered by it. Needless to say, April has a few more painful experiences - as herself and as Gretel - until she realises she can't keep pretending.

This book takes gender power imbalances and male privilege to task, and then some. It is a powerful, sad, angry and visceral portrayal of life after rape and sexual assault, exploring with sensitivity the pain of having to function after such a trauma in a society that by and large doesn't really understand, has a tendency to blame the victim and constantly questions whether you are entitled to your anger and pain.

Bourne explains: "The thing about being a victim of rape is that you are constantly a source of discomfort. To yourself, as well as others. So many men have sex with women who have been raped, and yet they do not know it. Because the women don't tell them, because, here's the thing: being raped is the least sexy thing ever. It has nothing to do with sex and yet everything to do with sex...You don't want to be the broken one. Especially as it wasn't your fault this happened to you, although, of course, something you worry it was your fault. So you pretend, a lot, that you're fine. That you're like the other girls. But...maybe you are pretending to be a woman everyone else is pretending to be too?"

You might be forgiven for thinking this is a heavy and hard read, and it is, in places. But why this book works so well is because the "pretending" in it is duplicitous, giving the story light as well as the necessary dark. There is the "pretending" that everyone does, especially with online dating apps (how many people pretend they want to travel to Africa and climb Mt Kilimanjaro, for example!) which makes for some rather hilarious moments; and then there is the pretending where you conceal deep, painful trauma, attempting to live as though it never happened.

No spoilers - but it ends on a resilient, realistic and hopeful note. If you have ever doubted yourself, your strength or your worth, you will feel quite differently by the end of Pretending.

By no means an easy read, but an important one. I hope a lot of men read it.

With thanks to the author, publisher and Netgalley for an ARC.

On the fence with this one, as delved into some important issues about rape, trauma and recovery, but failed to hit the mark for me. Plot was a bit unconvincing and flat in places and I felt uninspired by the min characters.

I was genuinely unimpressed with the book beginning with a rant about hating men, which was then followed by a short "oh never mind, he messaged back". It felt very trite and would've worked better if the rant hadn't been so long and all encompassing. It's never good to start reading a book with a bad taste in your mouth straight away from the first page.

At 50% in the attitude of the book was still really awful towards men. It was acting as if rage and being angry in the long term is healthy in any way, when it isn't. The main character was just unlikable. She lied to a homeless man that she doesn't have any change but felt good about herself because she didn't outright ignore him. Bizarre.

The book never really lifts despite finally throwing in the opinion that maybe rage and hatred of all men is not totally normal or healthy. But then the main character never learns her lesson about that in any real way - she goes to one therapy session and realises it's maybe more about her rather than all men and still manages to keep her boyfriend despite all the lies she told him.

It was, as always from this author, well written, but the book just thoroughly depressed me. It just did. No other words. That anyone would think this way about half the population, no matter what trauma they personally have been through. I just could not relate.

I mentioned in my review of Holly Bourne’s How Do You Like Me Now? that I fell for the Bridget-Jones-esque surface, only to be surprised by the hidden depths of desperation. You know that saying, ‘Fool me once…’!

Pretending completely blindsided me.

As the book started, I found myself instantly irritated with April and her constant obsession with how she is perceived by others. The man-hating spiels seemed over-the-top in their venomous misandry and, when April takes on the persona of ‘perfect’ Gretel, her tips and rules are actually quite painful to read – the sarcasm so bitter it bites off the page. I was fooled into thinking this would be a romcom of errors, where the heroine would make a series of silly slip-ups before falling gracefully into a romantic relationship with Mr Right.

Wrong.

Slowly, as the story progresses, Holly Bourne reveals the cracks in April’s cynical facade. We see a woman who has been through a serious personal trauma, and who now deals with other people’s traumas day in, day out, to the point of burnout. The constant drip of sexual violence and domestic abuse incidents that April is exposed to via her job has taken its toll on her mental health and wellbeing, and she is clearly not coping, no matter how much she and Gretel think she is.

At this point I will throw in the obligatory content warning for rape. The depiction is not graphically detailed, but the emotional representation is raw, authentic and absolutely awful. And then there are also the emails April receives at work, dealing with all forms of violence and abuse. The misandry is a side effect of this toxic barrage and April has simply lost sight of the tools to deal with her feelings in a healthy way. Enter Gretel.

Gretel allows April to shift her harshly critical, judgemental filter from its internal focus – ripping apart her every thought and action – to an external focus on the rest of the world. Neither is particularly healthy, but then, healing is a process and Gretel is the defence mechanism that is easing April through the first steps. It’s just unfortunate that Mr Might-Be-Right turns up while Gretel is still deployed and the real April is still in hiding from the world.

The story is told through a mixture of April’s point of view, text and email exchanges, and sections of Gretel’s “advice column” on how to deal with romance and not being yourself.

The slow build-up of lies and pain is nerve-racking to read, and the cathartic release of tension when events finally came to a head actually felt quite cleansing. I especially liked that the author resisted tying things up neatly with a perfect happy ending, instead sticking to the realistic view that serious mental and emotional trauma takes more than a bit of love and romance to resolve.

Much deeper and more emotionally wrenching than the average contemporary romance, Pretending has deep emotional undercurrents and speaks strongly to those who have experienced or witnessed male-on-female aggression and oppression, in a way that manages to be both lightly entertaining and heartbreaking at the same time.





While it’s easy to get carried away, make sure you spend some time looking out for yourself. Dating can be exhausting,, even if it’s going well, so get well-rehearsed in the empowering act of self-care. Run yourself a bubble bath; put on a facemask; light a candle; treat yourself to some cashmere-covered stationery and write lists of everything you feel grateful for. You deserve it. I mean, there’s no significant trauma with resulting long-lasting mental-health issues that can’t be fixed with a sheet mask and writing you’re glad it was sunny today in calligraphy.

– Holly Bourne, Pretending


Review by Steph Warren of Bookshine and Readbows blog

Trigger warnings: Sexual assault & trauma

I'm a huge fan of Holly Bourne's YA novels, as well as her adult debut 'How Do You Like Me Now?', so I couldn't wait to get my hands on her second adult novel, 'Pretending'. Educational , yet hilarious, Holly has written another relatable book with an important message about sexual assault.

The story of 'Pretending' is told through the eyes of April, a young woman who has been sexually assaulted in the past, as she responds and attempts to process her trauma. Declaring her hatred of all men, April decides that she will get revenge by pretending to be the perfect, problem-free Gretel in order to gain and hold power in her next relationship.

I really enjoyed this book and would highly recommend it due to its important messages, and the fact that I like the author's writing style. The ending was a tad disappointing, but this didn't detract from a great book.

Pretending – Holly Bourne
Oh Holly Bourne, how I love thee, let me count the ways. Honestly, I was already convinced that Holly Bourne is nothing sort of a genius. She’s long been one of my go-to authors and Pretending, her second journey into adult fiction, is definitely up there with one of my favourites of the year.

April is kind, pretty, and relatively normal – yet she can’t seem to get past date five. Every time she thinks she’s found someone to trust, they reveal themselves to be awful, leaving her heartbroken. And angry.
If only April could be more like Gretel.
Gretel is exactly what men want – she’s a Regular Everyday Manic Pixie Dream Girl Next Door With No Problems.
The problem is, Gretel isn’t real. And April is now claiming to be her.
As soon as April starts ‘being’ Gretel, dating becomes much more fun – especially once she reels in the unsuspecting Joshua.
Finally, April is the one in control, but can she control her own feelings? And as she and Joshua grow closer, how long will she be able to keep pretending?
Ok, before we go any further, let’s take a moment to go through some trigger warnings – I’d hate to recommend something that would upset someone. This book features a sexual health charity which deals with sexual assaults, our main character is dealing with trauma from an assault and of course, she is also catfishing someone which could be difficult for you – so you know be aware.
With that taken care of, let me give you a few reasons this is a book that is worthy of your time.
 
• Holly Bourne knows how to write women in all their complexities
• She also handles difficult topics with sensitivity
• Pretending covers important and difficult subjects without being preachy, making light or minimalisig but still being fun and engaging.

Basically, Holly Bourne has produced yet another incredible, hard hitting and thought provoking read. I’m adding whatever comes next straight to my TBR.