April tries to figure out life after an abusive relatioship. Since she was raped by her now ex boyfriend she can't trust men. All her relationships can't survive the trauma she lives with. After yet another relationship which turns out to be a total fiasco April wants to switch the places. Now she wants to be in power. April decides to become Gretel - a woman of dreams (and one who doesn't exist in real life). She decides to pick men up and then destroy them by dumping them. In this all charade April by chance finds a guy who is like no other men she used to date. Will she ever love again? It's for you to find out.
I love Holly Bourne's books, they say about real issues the way the things are. No coats of sugar. Just stating the things in all their glory wether we like or not.

Trigger Warnings: Rape, Domestic Abuse, Abuse and Trauma. 

Firstly, I want to say thank you to Netgalley and Hodder & Stoughton for giving me an e-arc of Pretending by Holly Bourne I am so grateful for this opportunity. 

I LOVE THIS BOOK. THIS BOOK IS SO IMPORTANT. THIS BOOK IS GOING TO BE ONE OF MY FAVOURITES OF 2020. 

I completely understand that this book won't be for everybody, and due to certain circumstances some people won't be able to read this due to the trigger warnings listed above. I had no idea what this book was about going into it, I just knew it was by Holly Bourne and due to that needed to get my hands on it asap. I will say I was very shocked when I realised what Pretending was about, and that was part way through reading it. But, thankfully, I am able to deal with the above and therefore proceeded to read and I am so glad that I did. 

I love a book that can make me laugh, not many can do that without me rolling my eyes feeling like the humour was forced. Pretending made me laugh on the third page, THE THIRD PAGE. I mean you need to read it for yourself, but if Holly Bourne didn't just reenact every girls situation then I don't know what she has done. Honestly, she seriously speaks to me! From this moment onwards, I knew that I would love April, and I was not wrong. She is my spirit animal. 

I would like to highlight that whilst I have just mentioned that this book deals with rape and proceeded to talk about how it made me laugh, this book does not make the subject matter into a joke. There are light hearted parts in this book, ones that will make you laugh. But when it needs to be serious, it is, there is no jokes made about Rape and the situation those that have experienced this find themselves in. This is such a delicate subject, that I do not think many authors are brave enough to delve into, but Holly Bourne has and she has portrayed this amazingly. She has done the subject matter so much justice. 

I cant believe I am about ti say this, but I really enjoyed the romance in this book. Yes I said it. The heartless cow over here who rolls her eyes at all romances because they just aren't realistic. I LOVED IT. I was routing for April throughout the whole of this book. I cringed at times that I needed to, and at points I wanted to shake her and ask her what she was doing. Honestly, I don't think I have ever connected with a character so well. 

The ending, I think the ending kind of fell a little bit flat. I loved it, don't get me wrong, this book is everything. But I maybe would have liked a bit more of the ending to see where the relationship went next after the reveal. I won't say much more without spoiling it so I'll leave it there but this is such a minor flaw that did not impact my enjoyment of the book. 

If you can handle the trigger warnings that are listed I think you should read this book. Everyone that can, should read this book! It is so important and so eye-opening. I cant praise Pretending and Holly Bourne enough and I cannot wait for other people to be able to read it.

This is Holly Bourne's second novel for adults and, like her YA, it doesn't shy away from difficult topics whilst also being entertaining. April wants a relationship, but after several failed attempts she decides to become someone different - Gretel. Gretel doesn't take any nonsense. Gretel is heartless. Gretel is April's revenge. But then Gretel meets Joshua.

So far, so romantic comedy. But Pretending is much more than that - April's past hides some serious trauma, and her day job working for a charity that works with sex education and advice is starting to burn her out. Holly Bourne doesn't shy away from dealing with that, and some of it is a bit of a harrowing read. But there's also hope, the boxing class is particularly affirming and April has good friends and colleagues. Definitely worth reading!

I read this in a day, totally gripped! This can be such a bleak book at times. Reading about April's traumatic experiences is difficult, especially in the moments where she's really struggling with her anger and her hopelessness, and Holly Bourne's depiction of relationships and dating can be a little unrelenting at times. But you kind of know what you're in for when the book starts with a rant beginning with 'I hate men'. Holly Bourne does a brilliant job of showing how such a horrific experience can totally colour your attitude towards men and sex, and overall this was a book I really enjoyed. The characters are so realistic - Joshua is appealing but not perfect, and none of the relationships are idealised. I will definitely be reading all of Holly Bourne's new releases.

…to offer an apology for being myself

I loved this book, and the line that sums up this book perfectly. It’s an important book masquerading as a light-hearted story. It should be handed out to all thirteen-year-old girls in school as a cautionary tale. Brutally honest the way every rom-com can’t be, even if they tried. It’s an examination of society and it’s constructs around women, and deeper, women’s constructs around women. As well as a good read, I found myself reading about probably most thirty-something women's experiences, including my own. Not an easy feat.

Four stars.

CW: rape and PTSD.

April hates men. So she decides to pick one unlucky sod and take revenge for all the injustice she and other women have faced.

Bourne writes a funny, dark, feminist and heartbreaking tale about rape, mental illness, and the ways in which hetero women twist themselves into caricatures to find love. Bourne has her finger on the cultural pulse and several times I felt called out to change my behaviour as I could recognise the ways in which we try to become Gretel, in which we pretend in relationships. I may have disliked Gretel but she is a useful guide as to how NOT to act in relationships. Aside from that, the character of April herself is relatable (almost to a fault) and honestly I want to tell Holly Bourne to reduce the volume please? You’re shouting my life to everyone 😭

Bourne also writes the difficulty of overcoming sexual trauma and the long journey it has to take. She speaks honestly about the feelings and the steps a victim goes through and has to take. She lays out the rawness of April’s anger, despair and vulnerability. This book reminds me of Woman at Point Zero and has me rethinking the justification of revenge and the mental health implications. Bourne carries out an unflinchingly honest conversation about trauma and the audacity of debating a survivor’s trauma because the debate itself is privileged. However, it is not all bleak as she offers some light for the character and it is important to remember that.

This is a book I could return to again and again despite it’s heavy material. It is not an easy read but it was worth it to me.

Thank you to Hodder Books and Netgalley for sending me an ARC in exchange for an honest review

This is a fun yet thought-provoking novel that I think will speak to a lot of 20/30 somethings. Bourne writes wittily and poignantly about many topics (some more difficult than others) and she made me want to keep reading, which is always a good sign. Would recommend for anyone looking for a more intelligent strand of “chick lit”.

How many different ways can I say I LIVE HOLLY BOURNE BOOKS!?! Yet again, this is another masterpiece. Full of angst, fun, honesty and totally relatable this book has something for everyone

I love Holly Bourne and I love 'Pretending'. It's like Bourne has reached into my brain and discovered my inner monologue from my mid-20s; it's all there on the page, so skillfully written and so easy to read in one or two sittings, devoured from start to finish as quickly as possible like an Easter egg! I really enjoyed 'Pretending', and loved the exploration of the themes: friendship, trust, consent, and learning to move on from trauma. It's a good book.

It does feel a little like a YA novel, as I know is Holly's speciality. Although this is a novel for adults it still has that straightforward linear simplicity that YA novels thrive on.

I have read How Do You Like Me Now? several times and knew this was going to be a hard act to live up to - I love Tori Bailey in Holly Bourne's first adult novel and have stolen several of her sayings and figures of speech. Like Tori, April (aka Gretel) the heroine of Pretending, is not straightforwardly likeable. Good! Like some of our best female actors, Bourne is brilliant at creating 'unlikeable' female characters who you root for despite, or perhaps because, of them being complex, spiky and angry - and, because of a traumatic experience at the hands of an ex, April is not so much angry as incandescent with rage. Apart from joining a women's boxing class, one of the ways she chooses to tackle her trauma is to become 'Gretel,' the 'Cool Girl' we all recognise from Zooey Deschanel movies, or 'Manic Pixie Dream Girl Next Door Slut With No Problems' (another phrase I'm stealing) - but is that actually what her new boyfriend, her flatmate or anyone wants? Well done to Holly Bourne for another cracking read.

Pretending by Holly Bourne is set around April, a 30-something woman who has gotten away from an abusive relationship and is now looking for love.
So far, so warm and fluffy, you can see a string of hilarious dating mishaps coming before April finally finds the one and lives happily ever after, right?
Wrong!
April is fed up of being taken for granted, having to take up less space, be more appeasing and having to "smile more". Her past trauma, never far away, resurfaces and she decides to reinvent herself as Gretel and be the woman she could have been if her life had gone the way it was supposed to, while possibly treating some men as badly as they have treated her. Late, disrespectful, uninterested, selfish. April is angry and Gretel is her weapon against all men (and yes, she knows NOT ALL MEN, but why is it all the ones she meets?)

The book seems to set out on the well trodden path of being about a young woman living in London, having comedic adventures while she patiently waits for the one to rescue her, however, it has a strong feminist backbone and the message of sisterhood is clear.

The book is warm and funny, but doesn't shy away from issues of rape and trauma. I felt the topic of April's previous abusive relationship and rape within that relationship was sensitively addressed, without melodrama and histrionics. The description of the physical and mental trauma left behind by that felt genuine, as did the conversations about access to mental health services held by the members of April's boxing class for survivors. I applaud Holly Bourne for the veracity of her writing on this in the book.

There are a LOT of women who will read this book (myself included) who will recognise themselves and their own relationships in this book, and will have a wry smile or eye roll depending where they are on the relationship spectrum.

This book might get lumped into the "chick-lit" category but it's really so much more than that, it should be on the national sex and relationships curriculum, and men should have to read it too. And then, finally, we can agree it's NOT ALL MEN and it's NOT ALL WOMEN.

A sincere thank you to the publisher, author and Netgalley for providing me an ebook copy of this book in exchange for a fair and honest review.

I wanted so badly to like this book but I just didn’t. The main character was just so obsessed with herself. It was just a bit far-fetched for me.

Oh my goodness! This book is so intense.

Holly Bourne’s books are always hard hitting and emotional and this one continues the themes of some of her recent YA fiction, The Places I’ve I’ve Cried in Public.

April’s feelings are so raw and honest there were points when I had to put this book down and have a break from reading.

April’s previous relationship was abusive and traumatic and she is struggling to deal with the impact on her mental health.

The relationships in the book are complicated but common. It will leave you thinking about how to support and protect your girl friends.

Despite the issues and emotions, there is a lot of love and humour in the book. I want to be friends with April and Megan and eat ice lollies and watch re-runs of Dawson’s Creek with them. These are real people and one of Holly Bourne’s strengths is her ability to write wonderfully real characters.

I will definitely be recommending this book but it absolutely comes with a trigger warning. ⭐⭐⭐⭐

Thank you Netgalley for the advanced copy of Pretending in return for an honest review.

Holly Bourne is not afraid to tackle difficult subjects. That is what I learned after reading her latest release - Pretending.

Pretending is the story of April. April is sick of the dating scene. She hates that she can’t live up to the expectations and standards that have been set for girls. More than that, she hates that men cannot live up to the exacting standards that she has set. There is a reason she has these standards and April is not willing to settle. So as a social experiment she invents Gretel. The perfect girl. She wants to see if Gretel is more successful than April. All of this goes well until she starts to fall for Joshua – the unwitting victim of her experiment. But who does he love – Gretel or April?

Pretending is a power house of a story. Bourne was asking questions that plagued my late twenties when it came to dating and men. Her questions and her characters anger are not unfounded. There are a lot of triggering moments in this story though so be prepared to wade through some topics that aren’t easy to read but it is with Bourne’s fearless style that as a reader you feel in safe hands.

Pretending by Holly Bourne is available now.

For more information regarding Holly Bourne (@holly_bourneYA) please visit www.hollybourne.co.uk.

For more information regarding Hodder & Stoughton (@HodderBooks) please visit www.hodder.co.uk.

Wow! This was such a hard hitting read and not at all what i was expecting, (Trigger Warnings for sexual assault.)
Holly Bourne's writing just ticks all my boxes! I found this book accessible and engaging for such a tough subject and her characters very likable and relatable.
It is a tough read but one I would defiantly recommend.
Thankyou to Netgalley for allowing me to read an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.

I admit I’m a big Holly Bourne fan, I have loved pretty much everything she writes so when picking this new book, expectations were high. Yet again though Holly Bourne did not disappoint with this book. I thought this book was so raw and honest and tackled some difficult topics that are important to talk about. As well as all this she still managed to keep some parts of the book funny. I loved everything about this book and I think everyone should read it.

full review here:
https://isobelsbookishthoughts.wordpress.com/2020/03/29/book-review-pretending-by-holly-bourne/

I love Holly Bourne, she has been one of those authors that I go to when I'm in need of a bit of a laugh.

Pretending was just the antidote I needed after recent events.

April is a woman who's been through a lot.

She's been hurt (both physically and mentally) and this has left her with trust issues and a skewed perspective about herself.

As she tries to navigate her way through dating, working and generally living like an adult, she begins to discover that she's perhaps not quite as mad as she once thought.

This is a novel that oozes emotion and comedy - which is a fantastic mixture - it is going to make you laugh and cry, sometimes both at the same time.

As April or should we say Gretel finds herself, be prepared to look at your own self too.

Pretending is not your typical love story but in the end it succeeds in being beautifully heart-warming none the less.

This is the first book in as long as I can remember where I read it in just one sitting. I was expecting something quite fluffy and lighthearted but I found this book really deeply touching- I loved it. April can't get past date 5 with men and she has a hard time trusting them. She adopts this persona of 'Gretel' a woman who she thinks is the kind of person men are looking for. Gretel is easygoing and fun and meets a man through a dating website. This book is painfully relatable as April pushes down her own feelings to try and be the kind of woman she thinks men want. It's beautifully written and I got so attached to the characters. My top read of 2020 so far.

As expected, I loved this book. April and her friends and colleagues are entirely relatable and the book addresses very emotive topics head on, whilst still having plenty of space for humour. Highly recommend.

Holly Bourne is one of the most talented writers out there. Intelligent, fast-paced, relatable, zany - Pretending is a truly excellent read. Bourne shows us how to be the person you want to be, provides a salve and a way to heal through trauma. Absolutely loved Pretending and will recommend to all my gal pals (and men too because #notallmen, right?).