Due to a sudden, unexpected passing in the family a few years ago and another more recently and my subsequent (mental) health issues stemming from that, I was unable to download this book in time to review it before it was archived as I did not visit this site for several years after the bereavements. This meant I didn't read or venture onto netgalley for years as not only did it remind me of that person as they shared my passion for reading, but I also struggled to maintain interest in anything due to overwhelming depression. I was therefore unable to download this title in time and so I couldn't give a review as it wasn't successfully acquired before it was archived. The second issue that has happened with some of my other books is that I had them downloaded to one particular device and said device is now defunct, so I have no access to those books anymore, sadly.

This means I can't leave an accurate reflection of my feelings towards the book as I am unable to read it now and so I am leaving a message of explanation instead. I am now back to reading and reviewing full time as once considerable time had passed I have found that books have been helping me significantly in terms of my mindset and mental health - this was after having no interest in anything for quite a number of years after the passings. Anything requested and approved will be read and a review written and posted to Amazon (where I am a Hall of Famer & Top Reviewer), Goodreads (where I have several thousand friends and the same amount who follow my reviews) and Waterstones (or Barnes & Noble if the publisher is American based). Thank you for the opportunity and apologies for the inconvenience

A good read that is full of emotions. One min there’s heartbreak, the next joy. So your emotions will be a mess by the end of it

The Fragments of my Father by Sam Mills is part memoir and part literary biography.

When Sam Mills' mother is diagnosed with cancer in 2010, Mills moves back into the family home to care for her and her father. Mills' father has a rare form of schizophrenia, one that is accompanied by bouts of catatonia. Following her mother's death in 2012, Mills becomes her father's primary carer.

Mills shares the impact that caring as on all aspects of her life; familial relationships, personal relationships, her work as an author and publisher, and her financial situation. She also brings us back to her childhood, when she didn't fully understand the reasons for her father's frequent absences.

Mills weaves her personal experience together with an examination of the history of caring and an account of the lives of Leonard Woolf, who cared for his wife Virginia Woolf, and F Scott Fitzgerald, who cared for his wife Zelda.

This combination provides scope for Mills' exploration of how the possible links between madness and creativity were viewed in the past and how that has or has not changed.

The Fragments of my Father is a deeply affecting read that shows the complexities of caring for a loved one.

The Fragments of my Father by Sam Mills is a memoir about the author’s experience of being a carer for both of her parents in different circumstances. Her father has had mental health problems including schizophrenia since she was a child. Her mother was later diagnosed with cancer and died in 2012, after which Mills became the main carer for her father. Mills interweaves a bit of literary biography of Virginia and Leonard Woolf and Zelda and F. Scott Fitzgerald and how their relationships were shaped by caring responsibilities. I might have expected the literary biography elements to feel like unnecessary padding to the book, but Mills makes a convincing case that Leonard has sometimes been unfairly portrayed as a controlling husband when Virginia’s illness meant that he had to make difficult decisions in her interests in his role as her carer. Mills also explores the impact of being a carer on her own creative life as a novelist as well as setting up and running the indie publisher Dodo Ink. She is very frank about the guilt she feels when taking even the briefest break away from her caring duties and how this has affected her relationships with other people. With around 6.5 million unpaid carers in the UK alone, ‘The Fragments of my Father’ makes an exceptionally strong case towards the need to improve financial and emotional support for those making personal sacrifices every day in order to provide care for their loved ones.

Being a carer for a loved one isn't always a strictly defined role like other professions, yet it's a vital service which helps support the most vulnerable people in our society. It's also a job that no one plans to take on until it's needed. When author Sam Mills' mother died in 2012 she inherited the duty of caring for her father who has grappled with serious mental health issues throughout much of his life. As she gradually becomes familiar with his particular form of schizophrenia, she also learns to deal with the extreme challenges and sacrifices involved with being a primary carer. Her insightful and heart-wrenching memoir relates her personal journey alongside a wider view of how mental health and the duty of carers have been managed throughout time. As society has progressed there's been a more enlightened and humane view of how to care for those afflicted with mental illness and support the people who take on the responsibility of care, but it's far from a perfect system and Mills makes a strong case for how it still requires more governmental and financial support. “The Fragments of my Father” broadened my understanding about the needs of carers and it will no doubt be a great source of consolation for anyone who has been in a situation where they've had to devote an extensive amount of time, energy and money caring for loved ones.

Since the struggles involved with care mostly take place in private it can be incredibly isolating. It's powerful how Mills describes this condition: “Being a carer can be a lonely duty; you can feel as though you are the only one in the world suffering in restrictions whilst everyone else around you are living lives of butterfly freedom.” She dynamically conveys how caring for her father takes a large toll on her personal relationships, professional life, finances and her own mental health: “I was not a full-time carer, yet my caring made my full-time work hard to sustain.” It's encouraging how meditation serves as a solitary activity which helps stabilize her amidst her daily whirlwind of duties.

As an author and publisher at Dodo Ink, Mills also poignantly considers how past literary lives were shaped by the duties of being a carer in the examples of Virginia and Leonard Woolf and Zelda and F. Scott Fitzgerald. She describes their very different journeys and relationships as well as how these have been interpreted in competing biographical accounts. It’s a very different perspective on grief and illness from what was portrayed in “All the Lives We Ever Lived”, another memoir which filters personal family experience through the example of Woolf’s life and her fiction. Mills gives an insightful new view of these literary lives from the point of view of carer and how this strongly influenced the literature these writers produced. So, alongside Mills' own story, I found myself engrossed in her dramatic accounts of these authors.

This memoir very movingly frames the dilemma of a carer who wants to do the best for her parents but wrestles with the challenges that must be faced within this role. It presents such a beautifully dignified and loving personal portrait of both the author's parents alongside a strong political message. Mills notes how during times of austerity it's funding for those who need it the most which often gets cut first. Given the enormous economic recession we're facing as a result of the pandemic, this memoir also serves as a timely reminder to be vigilant about government policy in regards to care programmes and how the challenges and struggles that carers face behind closed doors can't be forgotten.

A good read, that was emotional and heartbreaking at times. I really felt for Sam but I wanted to hear more about her feelings and thoughts and not so much about the things she had in common with Woolf and Fitzgerald, at times I felt this ruined the book for me.

I enjoyed reading The Fragments of my Father. It’s about the author’s personal experiences of being a carer and brings in similarities and differences with the lives of Leonard Woolf and F. Scott Fitzgerald.