Due to a sudden, unexpected passing in the family a few years ago and another more recently and my subsequent (mental) health issues stemming from that, I was unable to download this book in time to review it before it was archived as I did not visit this site for several years after the bereavements. This meant I didn't read or venture onto netgalley for years as not only did it remind me of that person as they shared my passion for reading, but I also struggled to maintain interest in anything due to overwhelming depression. I was therefore unable to download this title in time and so I couldn't give a review as it wasn't successfully acquired before it was archived. The second issue that has happened with some of my other books is that I had them downloaded to one particular device and said device is now defunct, so I have no access to those books anymore, sadly.

This means I can't leave an accurate reflection of my feelings towards the book as I am unable to read it now and so I am leaving a message of explanation instead. I am now back to reading and reviewing full time as once considerable time had passed I have found that books have been helping me significantly in terms of my mindset and mental health - this was after having no interest in anything for quite a number of years after the passings. Anything requested and approved will be read and a review written and posted to Amazon (where I am a Hall of Famer & Top Reviewer), Goodreads (where I have several thousand friends and the same amount who follow my reviews) and Waterstones (or Barnes & Noble if the publisher is American based). Thank you for the opportunity and apologies for the inconvenience.

A very touching book. It shows the reader how a death in a family and the grief that people suffer affects everyone different. Sadly someone always gets forgotten about or left behind emotionally but the ones they love & need support from.
Thank you both NetGalley and the publishers for gifting me this book.

In 1989, Hodge’s younger sister Candy died on a family holiday in Tunisia when a rare virus brought on rapid organ failure. The rest of the family exhibited three very different responses to grief: her father retreated into existing addictions, her mother found religion, and she went numb and forgot her sister as much as possible – despite having a photographic memory in general. After her father’s death, Hodge finally found the courage to look back to her early life and the effect of Candy’s death. Hers was no ordinary upbringing; her father was a drug dealer who constantly disappointed her and from her teens on roped her into his substance abuse evenings. Often she was the closest thing to a sober and rational adult in the drug den their home had become. This is a very fluidly written bereavement memoir and a powerful exploration of memory and trauma. It was unfortunate that it felt that little bit too similar to a couple of other books I’ve read in recent years: When I Had a Little Sister by Catherine Simpson and especially Featherhood by Charlie Gilmour.

What a moving book. The story of the effects of a devastating event on an already devastated family. Gavanndra suffered for her lack of parenting, and her efforts to right the wrongs of her childhood are poignant and touching.

A brave and bold memoir facing up to the devastating and far reaching impact of loss on a young family that was already fragile.

I'm between 3 and 4 stars for this one, so rounded down to 3. I enjoyed it, quite a lot more than I thought I would. I'm sure I spent most of my time reading this with my mouth hanging open in disbelief. Parts of the book, especially the parts with Gavanndra as a child, are absolutely horrific. You want someone to step in and just be a parent to her. I also found the latter part of the book, where she reconnects with her half-sister, really moving. Would definitely recommend.

I received a copy of this book via netgalley. Foe me it is just a continuous stream of consciousness. Although it has to be said most other people in it spent most of their time unconscious either through Alcohol or drug addiction. Even Gavanndra who says she is not repeating the mistakes of her parents seems to be doing exactly that. I am never quite certain what someone of less than no renown feels that the reader would be interested in their life story. It syas nothing about grief but musch more about personal selfishness in my book

I must confess that when I first started reading this I thought it was work of fiction , How can a family that lived such an outwardly glamorous life mixing in fashionable circles have such a tragic, truly awful lifestyle behind the scenes : all too easily it would seem. Not an easy read, the almost detached way Gavanndra writes about her parents' lives ,the way she ,as a nine year old would stay up to extinguish candles once her father and his well known drug clients were passed out on the floor of their flat makes it all the more desolate a read
Fourteen when her nine year old sister died suddenly and tragically on holiday in Tunisia, Gavanndra never quite recovers .,her fragile family life implodes. The sister who she had protected all her young life, from her alcoholic mother and drug dealer father with a wandering eye and a penchant for teenagers, was gone and she didn't know why. This loss stayed with her into later life when seeing her own children she realises she cannot remember Candy alive. Its nothing short of a miracle and a testament to the strong character of Gavanndra that she lived to tell tis tale and to discover more about her family. Interesting read at the current time

I feel almost guilty for enjoying this memoir so much, when it is genuinely heartbreaking. In this memoir, Hodge describes the impact that losing her nine year old sister had on her and her family, most notably her drug addicted and promiscuous father.
I found it hard to put this down - so much has happened to Hodge and it makes for one of the most interesting stories I’ve read. Everything is so well described that I almost felt like a bystander to the hedonism of her father, his friends and later on Hodge and her own friends. How she managed to become such a success both professionally and personally is astounding, and only goes to show the strength of her character. Although I found myself saddened by the betrayals of her father, I also felt what can only be described as envy of their open and honest relationship - whilst he is not necessarily a father we would all wish for, there is something incredibly special about their bond which comes through clearly in the memoir.
Heartbreaking, shocking and inspiring, I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend this beautifully and honestly written memoir.

I thought this book was really astonishing. Drew me in from the opening, this is heartbreaking and beautifully rendered and such an insightful exploration of grief. Very moving, and brilliantly written.

The Consequences of Love is the memoir of Gavanndra Hodge. Her father was a celebrity hairdresser and her mother a model, and Hodge's childhood lifestyle appears glamorous in places. Beneath the surface, her father is supplying, and addicted to, heroin, and her mother has her own battle with alcohol. On holiday in Tunisia, her nine-year-old sister Candy dies suddenly of a rare, airborne virus, sending the whole family into a spiral of despair. Gavanndra's teenage years pass in a blur of alcohol and drugs in which she buries her childhood traumas. By sheer determination, Hodge later becomes deputy editor of Tatler.

Inevitably, not processing Candy's death, mixed with a childhood of drugs and alcohol, catches up with Hodge. She has no memories of Candy, and can barely talk to her mother about her younger sister. Following a period of counselling, Hodge shares her innermost thoughts and appears to talk honestly and openly about her experience of a childhood with hedonistic, absent, or addicted/dependent parents. We watch as her relationship with her mother changes and the two of them begin to open up to each other.

This is a book that made me question what a "good" childhood looks like, and how family relationships are both built and broken in chaotic circumstances. It showed me the importance of not making assumptions, and showed me the different ways in which love is both given and received.

This was a really interesting story and quickly catches you up in it with its shocking start. Especially knowing this is a true story, made it even more riveting. Very well written, emotive and disturbing in places.

In 1989, during a family holiday in Tunisia, Gavanndra Hodge's younger sister, Candy, contracted a rare virus that shut down all her organs. She was only 9. The trauma of witnessing her sister's death led to Gavanndra's family imploding and in a bid to survive, she suppressed all memories of her sister.

Now, a mother to two young girls herself, she begins to think more and more about Candy, and starts writing about her childhood in a bid to access her buried memories. She begins the process of remembering and this is at times, overwhelmingly painful to read about. A young girl crying out for love, but watching her father take and deal drugs. Her mother, an alcoholic, gets clean, but withdraws into her own world of pain and grief. As she becomes a young teen, she begins to indulge in the hedonistic world of her father, with drugs and drink her way to numb her emotions and bond with a father she adored, but who let her down, time and again.

For me, one of the most beautiful parts of this memoir, is when Gavanndra talks to her own girls about the sister she lost, and they buy as many sweets as they can to decorate a birthday cake for Candy which will become a family tradition. Being able to talk about Candy is healing, and while she doesn't recall all the suppressed memories, dealing with her grief allows her to move from surviving to living - 'In order to find Candy, in order to start living and stop surviving, in order to feel love, I had to feel grief, I had to start remembering and telling'.

This memoir is about memory, trauma and grief - but it is also about love and family and forgiveness. Never self-pitying, it is at times, deeply upsetting and yet ultimately, wholly life-affirming.

I received this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest, independent review.

"Seven-year-old Gavanndra Hodge's life is a precarious place. Her father is a hairdresser and drug dealer to Chelsea's most decadent inhabitants; her mother an alcoholic ex-model. So, it is up to Gavanndra to keep her little sister Candy safe. But when Candy dies suddenly on holiday aged nine, Gavanndra's family, already so fragile and damaged, implodes.

"Now a mother herself, and with only memories of Candy's awful final moments, Gavanndra embarks on a journey to write her way back to the little girl whose death tore her family apart."

The Consequences of Love is a memoir of trauma, loss and recovery, and Hodges' attempt to remember her young sister, who died suddenly on holiday aged nine. Before I started reading the book, I was unaware of Gavanndra, or her father, celebrity hairdresser Gavin Hodges, so I came to the book openminded. I found her account of childhood and growing up incredibly honest and moving.

The book shows the need to allow yourself to give time to process emotions and brave, and I feel it's an important read for all who have dealt with grief in their life.

I really enjoyed this book. Emotional and thought provoking throughout, the characters really came to life for me. I would definitely recommend that everyone reads this.

This was a hard but riveting read mainly set in the world of celebrities and their drug habits in the 80s. Gavanndra Hodge is the daughter of an alcoholic model and a drug dealing heroin addict father who she adores. Her lifestyle is completely normal to her, as a young child staying up until all hours to make sure nobody falls asleep and sets the house on fire. Her younger sister dies on holiday aged 9, and Gavanndra puts this out of her mind although it affects her whole life. She achieves a normal and successful adulthood as a magazine editor with a husband and children, but as an adult looking back at her life she realises it was abusive and traumatic. Her adored father used her to attract her young friends. I don't normally read a memoir or biography but this was fascinating. #theconsequencesoflove #netgalley

Consequences of Love is Gavanndra Hodge’s interesting and incredibly honest account of her childhood. It also documents how she realises as an adult (and a mother of two girls) that she has no memory of her sister, other than the events surrounding her tragic death when Gavanndra was 14 and Candy was just nine years old.
Gavanndra is now a successful editor working for many famous publications such as Tatler. But her childhood was horrendous, and not just because of Candy’s death. Gavanndra’s mother was an alcoholic for many years, and her father, was a drug abuser and supplier. He also had the most inappropriate relationships with many of Gavanndra’s young friends. Gavanndra spent much of her time parenting her parents, and it is not surprising that in later life she has rebelled and has slips of her own.
This is a fascinating read and so very well written.
Thanks to NetGalley, the publishers and author for a Kindle copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

A raw and emotional and interesting read. It was hard to read about parts of Gavanndra’s childhood. The death of her sister had an understandably profound effect on everyone.

Thank you to Netgalley for my copy.

I am unfamiliar with Hodges work but boy oh boy was this book beautiful! A really moving and shocking exploration of grief, moving forward with your life and acceptance. The writing was so beautiful, I was fully absorbed and couldn't put it down. Highly recommend.

I was delighted and surprised that I was preapproved for this novel due enjoying The Salt Path (recommended by the way).

I am not familiar with the writing of Gavanndra Hodge, or her father the celebrity hairdresser Gavan Hodge so came to the book with an open mind. I have since learned that her father (and mother), was quite famous, but this did not make her upbringing in any way easier.

This is where some people may have difficulty with this memoir – she comes to term with her sister’s sudden death whilst on holiday. But she does this by recounting her chaotic upbringing. Her father was a drug dealer with a heroin addiction, and she recounts her childhood with startling honesty. This might make it hard for people to read as she was not shielded from the drug taking in any way.

For me what Gavanndra does is recount a moving story of how she managed to come to terms with her past, and her family and move on from the lifestyle to create a different life for her own children. All whilst bringing back into her life the memory of her little sister who died so young.