The book is told through a dual timeline.
This book is beautifully well written. The story is so realistic.
This book is brilliant and very thought provoking.
A highly emotional brilliant book.

This was such a sad, touching book that I bet for a lot of people will feel very close to home. This is certainly a tear jerker but it's also so well portrayed that Sylvia isn't flawless, she does have flaws and she isn't perfect which gave a realism to her story.

Thank you for approving my request but unfortunately being in this situation myself right now. I am choosing not to read or review this book.

A very well written book
It will pull you in
You will laugh
You will cry
You will remember this book long after you’ve finished it
Thanks NetGalley

Well it’s obvious from the title alone that this book is going to be a tear- jerker, and if that’s what you want it doesn’t disappoint. But at the same time it is thought provoking and beautiful.
The back story of Sylvia’s life was a nice idea, and although the book does flit between time lines it really works. Beautifully told.

Beautfully well written, I enjoyed this book, it was sad in some parts as you could relate to Sylvia's and Pauls loss

For When I’m Gone by Rebecca Ley is a remarkable debut novel that once started I did not want to put down. It’s a beautifully written and moving book that explores themes of love, life, loss and grieving. Told in three interwoven parts, Then, Now and Sylvia’s Manual, it is the moving account of one family as they navigate the highs, lows, loves and losses of life.

Sylvia knows she doesn’t have much time left. Diagnosed with a devastating illness, she begins to write a handbook for her husband to read after she’s gone. Filled with precious memories of their lives together, Sylvia’s manual also contains tips on how to raise their children, detailing all the little things that only a mother knows. But Sylvia also has a secret that Paul knows nothing about. A secret she shares in the very last pages of her journal that tells of a moment in her past that could change everything…

Oh, what an insightful, beautifully written and moving book this is! I was drawn into Sylvia s life (and death) from the very first page. A woman who struggles to accept herself for the beautiful and unique person she is, her story will resonate with so many people, as it did with me. Touching on issues that aren’t always easy to read about, but that are written with such empathy and understanding, For When I’m Gone is a powerful story that will stay with me.

Rebecca Ley is an author I will definitely look out for in the future. Her writing is superb and I can’t wait to see what she has in store for us next!

Oh what do I say? Emotional, amazing, heartbreaking, thought provoking, tearful wreck. This is so different and unexpected, I will read again x

Am emotional, thought provoking tear jerker that is impossible to put down.
The storyline was beautifully written, and although it was so incredibly sad, the way in which it was written really called out to me.

What an emotional wreck I was reading this, so good, despite it being sad. Definitely a book to make you think and embrace life to the full.

Thank you NetGalley for my complimentary copy in return for my honest review.

There is never enough time. Even when a loved one has been ill for so long and the prognosis is terminal, that moment when they’re gone is seismic. Everything in your world shakes up and resettles around you, but in a totally different shape. When my husband died it had been coming for a long time. He was also suffering. His MS had affected his ability to swallow so he was PEG fed and kept hydrated with a tube directly set into his stomach. He would aspirate saliva, then develop pneumonia in an endless cycle till he decided not to treat it. He’d spent months in hospital, before I received the call from the hospital and it took a further twelve hours to die. Listening to him struggling for breath was torturous. Yet when he took his last breath at 5.15 am, my first thought was ‘no, I’m not ready’.

Rebecca Ley’s novel is about a life cut short in this way. Sylvie is given a terminal cancer diagnosis at the age of 38. She and Paul have a marriage that seems perfect. He is a doting husband and father, and loves Sylvie’s intelligence and beauty. There is a certain prickliness to her character, which could make her difficult, but they seem to compliment each other and are great parents to their children Megan and Jude. When Sylvie receives her diagnosis she knows she must help Paul with the aftermath. He needs a manual that helps him deal with a domestic life that’s more complicated than he realises. She also needs to disclose a secret that she’s been keeping for the whole of their married life. As Paul uses her manual to try and negotiate life after Sylvie, he begins to realise just how much she did for them, and how much more indebted he is than he realised. Ley writes about reconciling a life only half lived, but also those compromises made in a marriage and as a mother. This is where he truly gets to know his wife in a way he wouldn’t when she was alive.

The book is divided into past and present chapters, so we can be let into Sylvie’s life, but also to form a contrast with after she’s gone. The manual is confessional and written in the first person. Then we have the third person viewpoints of both Paul and Sylvie. Through this we see everything from the beginning of their relationship where everything is romantic to the trickier aspects of their shared life together. I liked that Sylvie isn’t perfect, it’s easy to make a lost loved one into a saint, but Ley avoids that here and it’s all the better for that. Throughout we see that same spiky element to her nature, it’s attractive in a way, but could be seen as hardness or being difficult. As we read through the manual though, after she’s gone, we see a reason for that hardness - Sylvie is this family’s structure, their backbone, and without it what do they have to keep them upright and together?

There is the constant tension of what Sylvie’s long held secret may be, but it wasn’t the thing that kept me reading. It was the slow revelation of her character that held my attention. In Sylvie, Ley has written a truly modern female character who has flaws and makes mistakes, but isn’t cast as a bad person. Sometimes in books about cancer patients, or mothers, there is that temptation to turn them into saints and martyrs. I love that the author made a conscious choice not to do that. Through her choices and inner monologue as she makes them, we see the complexity of being a woman, a mother and a wife. Sylvie is complex, sometimes she hurts people and I didn’t always like, or understand her. She is so ‘real’ that I started to think about her in terms of my own friends and family; we don’t always like what they say or do, but we still love them. I felt like I’d got to know a real person and this only added to the devastation when she was gone. I would like to see more women like this in fiction.

The supporting characters were also well written, three dimensional people. I felt particularly for Megan who withdraws as the book goes on. There was also a great contrast between Sylvie and Paul’s mothers, with one very traditional Mum and the other very far from conventional. Ley shows us the chaotic, random and difficult nature of life. This brings home the fact that we never know what’s going to happen next, something people who’ve experienced loss and illness know only too well. I always make sure I tell my new partner and stepdaughters that they should take care and I love them, every time they leave the house. I never want them to wonder, or for something to happen when I haven’t reminded them how much they mean to me. I felt deeply for the family at the heart of this heart-breaking story and it will stay with me for a long time. This extraordinary book is Rebecca Ley’s debut, so I will be following her writing closely to see what’s next.

This will be appearing on my blog this month,

This was such a heartbreaking book to read, I felt so much compassion throughout it, breast cancer is close to my heart and being a mother myself my ultimate worry is if something happened to me, the kids would grow up without a mother. This is exactly what Sylvia is going through, although with her it’s not a case of what if, it’s a case of when.
Knowing she hasn’t got much time left, she writes a manual for her husband to help him do the mundane daily chores, routines for the children etc.
This was a sad book and I cried often, once I had finished I was left with a book hangover and a sadness in my heart. I explained the book to my husband and started crying again. I am now an emotional wreck, but it was such a good true-to-life book which will make you think and maybe assess your own life if the inevitable did come along.
A brilliant debut and I look forward to reading more from Rebecca Ley

This has to be one of the most beautiful, heartfelt books I’ve read for a long time. It’s a book that somehow manages to be heartbreaking and heartwarming at the same time.

The subject of this book is obviously a very poignant one which hit me hard, especially as I’m a parent myself. I often found myself tearing up at the milestones Sylvia would be missing and how it would feel to be in her shoes. It definitely made me appreciate my family more and I often found myself having to give my kid extra hugs or kisses whilst reading.

Sylvia was a fantastic main character who I warmed to instantly and enjoyed following throughout the book. She seemed such a real character so everything that happens to her hit me that much harder. I actually liked that she had flaws and wasn’t perfect as I felt that added more to the story. It definitely made her a more sympathetic, relatable character.

I found this to be a completely absorbing book which I found hard to put down. I thought it was clever that despite such a sad story line the author doesn’t allow the story to just be a sad one and there actually are some funny moments in the book. This is a book that will stay with me for a long time and I will be recommending it to everyone.

Huge thanks to Tracy Fenton for inviting me onto the blog tour and to Orion for my copy of this book via Netgalley.

So you’ve been told some devastating news. Dealt a hand of heartbreak that’s on countdown. What do you do? Wait, what WOULD you do? Spend as much time as you can with your loved ones before you’re taken? Create everlasting memories for those you have held in your heart for goodness knows how many years? Or do you write a book of what to do when you’re gone?

Sylvia did the latter. She created a book for her husband detailing present ideas, little anecdotes to help support him and their children as they grow up without her. I mean, looking to the future lives of your children, knowing that you’re not going to be around to see it? That’s got to hurt.

If, like me, you’re the sort of person who has ice around their heart, be prepared for that to melt and probably flood for the duration of this book. It well and truly broke me and hung me out to dry……yet it was done in the most sensational, poignant, detailed, beautiful manner that made me catch my breath.

The underlying tone of ‘For When I’m Gone’ is very serious as it discusses topics such as still birth and cancer, two very powerful and triggering topics. However on the other side of the coin, theyre two topics which still need their time in the spotlight so that other people can try to understand the devastating effects they can have on a person and everyone around them.

I feel bad saying that I loved this novel due to the emotional content, however i truly was bowled over by the delivery and the way in which the author took the time to create a story that not only taught people about cancer and grief, it also showcased the beauty of memories not being afraid of your own emotions.

Rebecca Ley has polished this novel so well, it is going to shine bright like a diamond for very long time to come. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if this managed to get onto the big screen. Honestly? It would wholeheartedly deserve it.

# For when I am gone # Netgalley

I have read this before I don’t know if I read it when i was on the hospital but I know I have definitely read this before now. It’s a lovely book based on Sylvia writing a journal for her beloved husband
Because she knows time is running out. She finds so much she wants to say that she’s never said before. She also writes about the memory’s of things they have shared in fine detail of places times events and finally she tells him the one secret she’s kept to herself al these years. Definitely a weepy for sure. You can not help feel the emotions in this book the author as really captured the depth of feelings like no one I have read before. It’s as if your living in the journal it makes you really think about your own relationship. With a nice twist at the end. Oh don’t you all sit thinking you know what the twist was. I made that mistake thinking I have a good idea what she’s going to tell him in her secret I felt so sure. So I guess you you can keep guessing but you will not have expected this little twist

An emotional story was this. I knew I would cry a lot as with world crisis, my emotional makeup seemed to have transformed into a highly emotional one. So this book pulled my heartstrings from the blurb itself.

A debut by author Rebecca Ley, I was completely in my own cocoon when I was reading this, immersed in the strength of a mother’s love as she wrote a guidebook for her husband to bring up their children after she was gone.

Sylvia was diagnosed with cancer and she had barely any time left. Knowing her husband would flounder without her, she started writing a book to guide him on later in life, along with a secret hidden in the last few pages.

Omg! I really didn’t have any words to express what I felt after reading this book. All I could see as evidence to my emotions evoked were the strewn tissues around me. The love a mother had for her children and a wife for her husband were beautifully encapsulated in the writing.

There was a beauty in the prose, and though it made me cry buckets, it brought a special kind of joy, knowing I was reading a story with a great array of human emotions.

Written in dual timelines, the present as the family was coping without their backbone, and the past where I got to know Sylvia’s life journey. The only time we have in our hands is NOW, and the author brought home this simple truth in a poignant tale.

After the world crisis, I didn’t need this reminder, but it still managed to ravage my heart and leave me both happy and sad. A striking debut was this book where author Rebecca Ley simply stole my heart completely.

This book was a particularly poignant read for me from both personal and professional perspectives.⁣
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Sylvia is diagnosed with terminal Breast Cancer aged 38 and she soon realises she needs to do something to help her husband and children navigate life without her ‘when she’s gone’.⁣
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So Sylvia writes her husband Paul a manual, outlining the mundane (how to do washing, pay bills, what the children’s morning routine) to the more personal nature of their marriage and how their relationship has grown over the years.⁣
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Told from both Sylvia and Paul’s POV, this book takes us back in time and shows us their relationship from the very beginning, though to the present day. Paul’s perspective mainly focuses on him reading his wife’s manual ‘post mortem’ and how he is coming to terms with life without his wife and the mother of his children. ⁣
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Told mainly from the perspective of parenthood, despite me not having any children of my own, I found this story to still be relatable and enjoyable (it feels wrong to describe it this way, but I’m sure you know what I mean).⁣
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This book is both beautiful and heartbreaking in equal measures. A sensitively written, emotional debut novel from Rebecca Ley! ⁣
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A heartbreaking look at how life is when you lose your partner. A beautiful story that reflects strength and the courage to move on after losing the love of your life.

Such an emotional book. Well drawn characters with believable interactions with each other. Reading with Kleenex and no mascara is highly recommended.

A poignant story that will pull at the heartstrings and leave you a little broken inside. The sitting down and writing the manual allows Sylvia to cope with her upcoming demise and to put her mind into some sort of order. The writing of it is very cathartic for Sylvia as she puts into words all the thoughts and feelings that are racing around her mind. From her early life and times with her sister to the birth of her children she has a lot to put to paper in a short time. The book is beautifully written and very poignant, tugging on all your emotions page after page. The characters are well thought out and come to life as you follow their journeys towards losing Sylvia. Even the emotions that the children feel makes the book seem even more personal and emotive. There was a line in the book that has stayed with me and one i can totally relate to as a parent.

“ you may well love your children equally but the love itself will be different with feathers and claws ‘

A wonderful book that deals with death and its aftermath with empathy and grace. A brilliant debut novel form a strong new voice in literature.