I enjoyed this as an exploration of how society views motherhood and the decision on whether to procreate. I am a fan of Nell Frizzell. I had my own version of the panic years in my late twenties when I was wondering if I would ever find someone with whom to have children. It's hard and it's a taboo - you can't just come out and say oh I want babies. But oddly enough now that I am past my panic years, I still don't feel like I can explain my thoughts on it at greater length because I would feel like I am patronising my friends who are still in that stage. Becoming a parent changes everything and it is good to see intelligent women vocalising that within the mainstream. I wish Nell Frizzell well.

The Panic Years: Dates, Doubts, and the Mother of All Decisions by Nell Frizzell is a memoir about making big life decisions.

As a topic that stresses me out whenever I make the decision to try and navigate it, motherhood is for me and many others an all but fleeting set of circumstances colliding simultaneously which must happen before time shifts into a different part of life's journey. I am currently in those years now where almost daily I consider the positive and negatives, opportunities and restrictions but the primary element that creates this overwhelming anxiety is that it will soon have slipped through my hands. I feel tears as I write and it almost feels cruel that the fairer sex are the only ones with this issue. Men can happily go on procreating and producing offspring until their dying day but for us it is a topic that begs for a solid decision day after day and a decision that will undoubtedly change the course of more than just that child's life. It's a decision I can't make concretely and therefore this situation is destined to continue for years to come. Luckily, renowned journalist Nell Frizzell explores what happens when a woman begins to ask herself: should I have a baby? This somehow brings some comfort in such a complex situation.

We have descriptors for many periods of life―adolescence, menopause, mid-life crisis, quarter-life crisis―but there is a period of profound change that many women face, often in their late twenties to early forties, that does not yet have a name. Nell Frizzell is calling this period of flux “the panic years,” and it is often characterized by a preoccupation with one major question: should I have a baby? And from there―do I want a baby? With whom should I have a baby? How will I know when I’m ready? Decisions made during this period suddenly take on more weight, as questions of love, career, friendship, fertility, and family clash together while peers begin the process of coupling and breeding. But this very important process is rarely written or talked about beyond the clichés of the “ticking clock.” Enter Frizzell, our comforting guide, who uses personal stories from her own experiences in the panic years to illuminate the larger social and cultural trends, and gives voice to the uncertainty, confusion, and urgency that tends to characterize this time of life.

Frizzell reminds us that we are not alone in this, and encourages us to share our experiences together and those of the women around us―as she does with honesty and vulnerability in these pages. Raw and hilarious, The Panic Years is an arm around the shoulder for every woman trying to navigate life’s big decisions against the backdrop of the mother of all questions. I found a comforting clarity between these pages and am overjoyed that a book such as this has been written as it's seldom seen as a topic to be shared and discussed outside of family life. It's accessible and moving and made me both laugh and cry — the emotional aspects are on-point throughout, and I was appreciative of the straightforward, honest words, the feeling of not being alone in this anxiety and indecision, and if this is a life decision you are in any way considering, it would be to do yourself a disservice not to grab a copy of this. It's a rare gem packaged in such a well-rounded and informative manner that it feels like having an unbiased friend by your side giving advice, providing comfort and lending support when you may not feel comfortable sharing with a friend for the fear of judgement or because they already have their ready-made family. This is the most important book I have read in years and will be for many women. Highly recommended.

3.5 rounded down

In a book which is somewhat in the vein of Rachel Cusk's A Life's Work: On Becoming a Mother in parts, Nell Frizzell shares her experience of deciding she wanted kids and becoming a mother during a period she dubs "the panic years"; a period during a woman's late 20s to late 30s when many women begin to think about (and make) big life decisions which will impact on the rest of their life such as on life partners, buying a house and having kids. (I should add that there is a focus in the book on the implication these decisions can have on a woman's career at this stage of her life, which is important and a real concern for many in the same boat that Frizzell finds herself in.)

The main focus of her "panic years" surrounds the decision of whether or not to become a mother. I think the reader's enjoyment of the book overall will hinge on how much you care about or are interested in being witness to a stranger sharing her thought process/deliberation on this topic. I found it thought provoking and of interest for the most part, but thought this process was prolonged in places. I guess it's interesting to understand the considerations that go through someone's mind in deciding whether to embark on motherhood, but Frizzell presents a balanced "argument" (if you can call it that) for the most part.

I've toed and froed about whether to round my rating up and down, and while I enjoyed later parts of the book - particularly once she got pregnant and her partner decided he, too, wanted a child - some earlier parts dragged, hence my final rounding down. Frizzell's honesty and no-holds-barred recounting of her experience of childbirth is refreshing and admirable in an age of picture-perfect posed photos of new mothers all over Instagram and the media which can make women struggling with motherhood (post-partum depression, for instance) feel alienated and alone in their predicament.

I will start by saying that as a 28 year old, who still doesn't feel like they're truly adulting particularly when I compare myself with friends or people I went to school with, I wish that I had put off reading this until probably my mid-thirties.
That's not to say that it wasn't relevant to me at this stage in my life but I have a feeling it would have been a lot more so in a number of years' time.
My life goals don't exactly mirror the author's and it was frustrating to see her worry about time slipping away, which is often something that those in their twenties and thirties worry about instead of actually going out and embracing those days and years.
It was, however, well written and kept me wanting to read more.
I would recommend this to fans of Dolly Alderton's, as well as those in their thirties or late-twenties, if they're looking to follow a 'more traditional' life path.
Thank you to Netgalley for providing me with an advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

3.5/4 stars.

Documenting 'the Flux' or the Panic Years, aka the late twenties-early thirties fertility panic many women experience, The Panic Years is a fascinating insight on a period that a lot of women can relate to. I loved Nell's writing, and I finished this book in a few sittings, keen to read her insights. Whilst this book perhaps didn't tell me anything new, and I can't say I 100% relate to what she was documenting, there were so many brilliant, insightful points raised in this book that I think it's a vital read for all women (and men!).

The Panic Years is a funny and fascinating and insightful look at this strange and previously unnamed period in every woman's life. I'm coming up to this age and it's a truly compelling read for me.

A funny read that had me laughing out loud throughout. A great book for those about to embark on motherhood and those who can read it with a wry smile of hindsight.

I am 36 years old. Well, I will be 37 this year and so this book, The Panic Years by Nell Frizzell should, in theory, speak to me.

Nell Frizzell is looking at things that society deems important to a 30+ year old. Things like marriage, children, and early menopause. And whilst I have thought about those things they aren’t necessarily a massive concern. I can see the reasons why Frizzell wrote about them and I admire her candid approach – at times she comes across as a little cuckoo and obsessed with time running away from her – but I think for me personally I didn’t mirror her concerns. I think The Panic Years would be a perfect book for someone looking for reassurance – in particular about becoming a mum – but it didn’t resonate with me because I don’t necessarily want the same things as her.

The Panic Years is well written and I think more books like this are needed. Women need to have their voices heard on subjects that are generally kept quiet and hidden and it needs bold voices like Nell Frizzell and so I admire her greatly for her writing and her honesty.

The Panic Years by Nell Frizzell is available now.

For more information regarding Nell Frizzell (@NellFrizzell) please visit her Twitter page.

For more information regarding Random House UK (@penguinrandom) please visit www.penguinrandomhouse.com.

For more information regarding Bantam Press (@BantamPress) please visit www.bantam.press.

An interesting, endearing and informative read. The author's honesty is refreshing, and she doesn't flinch from the gritty reality. Recommended.

Honest, funny and ridiculously relatable.

It felt like an unofficial sequel to Dolly Alderton's Everything I Know About Love.

4 stars.

Thank you Netgalley for the advance copy of Nell Frizell's The Panic Year's.

The Panic Years: something between adolescence and menopause, a personal crisis, a transformation.

The panic years can hit at any time but they are most commonly triggered somewhere between the ages of twenty-five and forty. During this time, every decision a woman makes - from postcode to partner, friends to family, work to weekends - will be impacted by the urgency of the one decision with a deadline, the one decision that is impossible to take back: whether or not to have a baby.

'Becoming a parent is the only decision that comes with a biological deadline, the only one that cannot be reversed: it is, therefore, the one decision that throws all others into such sharp focus.'

I completely identified with this book and this is exactly how I felt in my late twenties before my children. I loved how she discusses fertility as a feminist issue, relationships, breakups and comparing ourselves to others. This was both hilarious and honest and will be a book keep returning to for years to come.

This book was very relatable, and I thought it was very well written. Although I am older than the book is aimed at, it was still an enjoyable read and I felt like I was nodding along a lot!

Thank you NetGalley for my complimentary copy in return for my honest review.

Like many readers and reviewers will be, I am almost exactly the same age Nell was when she wrote this book. So much of what Nell has written resonates. Not only is Nell mind blowingly brave to write as candidly as she has, she does it in a way that is relatable and makes you feel like you're reading about a friend.

The decision on whether to have a baby, when to do that, how that defines and changes you and the minefield of cultural feelings and expectations around that are different for every person. They are queries and thoughts that there are no finite answers to. Nell very much presents that - this book is a discussion, not an information piece. I loved it.

A very important book for women in their mid-twenties and thirties

"Unlike childhood, adolescence, menopause or the mid-life crisis, we have no common term for the tumult of time, hormones, social pressure and maternal hunger that smacks into many women like a train at the end of their twenties and early thirties. (...) These years are compelled by the eternal question: should I have a baby, and, if so, when, how, why and with whom?"

Nell Frizzell is a thirty-something journalist going through what most women at one point in their life go through: trying to figure out whether she wants to have children (and if yes, with whom?). She describes these years starting in the late twenties, where women just settle into a career, when they have to make a hard decision that few men actually realize. Do they want kids? A career? Both? And how on earth do you do both? She also touches on a number of other things, like seeing your friends start having kids, or getting pregnant quickly while your friend has been trying for years, and so on. On that note, she questions, "How can we stop seeing other women's lives as a comment upon our own? How can we learn not to compare ourselves to others around us? How do we take the sense of competition out of the sisterhood?" She also makes it a point of bringing equality and politics into this (as it should be), and questions the ecological impact of having kids. Lastly, she describes being pregnant and all the fears it comes with, as well as giving birth and settling into life as a new mom.

Nell Frizzell brings up many valid points. I enjoyed reading this book, although it was not always an easy read. Frizzell lead me to rethink my choices, she validated some of them, she made me laugh. This is a very important book for professional women of about 25 and over, which i would recommend to all of my friends.

Thanks very much for the copy of 'The Panic Years' by Nel Frizzell. I was so pleased to receive an early copy of this book after seeing lots of great reviews across the Bookstagram community and early reviews.

I found this book to be relatable and an insight into the feelings that lie ahead as I approach my thirties. It is a great read for those in that life dilemma, comparing themselves to others and confused about the life milestones surrounding them. So comforting to read not only the author's take but the views of others throughout this book as she reaches out via social media and to friends for their experiences and takes on it all.

Will be recommending this to all my girlfriends in their late twenties! :)

This is the book I didn’t know I needed. I’ve read a number of memoirs from women in their 20s and 30s over the last few years and always felt a disconnect. Their experiences were always so distant from my own. But then came Nell Frizzell - going through the same things I have. One for everyone who has felt like they don’t quite have it all together but that the clock is ticking. I’ll be buying a copy for all my friends!

Absolutely loved this book, I almost felt like it was written just for me. I wish I could give it six stars.

I think this will be one of my favourite reads of 2020. I adored it. The mix of truth and humour, I found myself nodding along throughout the book! I can also see myself buying copies of this book to give to friends. If you’re a woman in your 30s, read this!