I devoured this gripping, disturbing, entertaining book in a couple of sittings. It did take me a chapter or two to fully get in to the way its written in first person, but once I had there was no putting it down.

The characters are highly unlikeable (with a few exceptions) but in the best way, it's part of what makes the story. I did still find myself rooting for Constance, the main character, and wanting her to move forward.

I found myself catching my breath at parts, on the edge of my seat needing to know what was going to happen and also laughing at the same time. This is a fantastic, well written book and I highly recommend it.

If I Can't Have You is one of those books that grabs you by the scruff of the neck and you can't stop thinking about it even when it's over. I had to put it down so many times in disbelief at just how good it was. Or a particular quote that caught my eye. There is honestly so much to unpack, so much to take in and if I'm being absolutely, truthfully honest, I 100% understand what led Constance to do everything she does. Did she go too far? Absolutely yes. But I completely understand what made her do what she did. All of it. Because haven't we all fallen for someone we haven't? Been a bit mad over them? I guess the difference between me and Constance is that I don't act on my feelings, but I also get how easy it would be to become that obsessed with someone.

This may be an unpopular opinion, but I absolutely loved Constance. I didn't find her narrative to be untruthful and she was, more or less, a fairly solid, stable character. Her acts of madness were all done following something that hurt her, so while (again) it wasn't right, it made sense. I could see it how she saw it. Falling in love is messy, and it's even worse when it's one-sided. And even more worse than that, when the person you're in love with but doesn't love you back strings you along, so you believe there IS feelings there. It's why dating is so messy. Once you through sex into the mix, unless you've explicitly talked about where you go after, you only have your emotions to guide you and I know as well as many, that my emotions can make me do bad, reckless things; it's just my nature that I do them to myself, rather than others. Whereas Constance does it to others.

I think I related to Constance so much because she is me in so many ways. She's wry and funny and makes sharp observations that are completely true. In one scene, she says that everyone leaves her and that's her fault and I felt that in my soul, because it seems that that happens to me a lot. I know what it feels like to fall in love for the first time with someone you could imagine being with forever and how it feels to not have that reciprocated. How there truly is a fine line between love and hate. And how you can feel both at the same time. How the way someone treats you dictates your mood. Constance is ME. And I'd dare say, most women will recognise at least something in Constance that they can relate to themselves, too, but for me, it was everything. Everything Constance thinks and says is things that I've thought and said.

It's pretty much like in this novel, there was only Constance. Yes, there were other characters - Samuel (bleurgh), Dale (absolutely rank), Edward (loved him), and the colleagues Constance works with, but in essence this novel IS Constance. It's all about her and all of the other characters pale in comparison. They're there but you don't really care about them (except for Edward). I liked Dr Franco, too, actually. I don't give him enough credit. But like the characters are all there FOR Constance, if that makes sense. This might sound crazy, but this novel may as well have Constance's name on the cover. And that is massive, massive props to Charlotte Levin as a writer. It read like a true story.

People genuinely don't realise how badly they effect others. Yes, Constance clearly had issues before but it's really mental how a throwaway comment from someone or a truth from someone you love can turn you into a completely different person. And the worst thing is that people don't realise. And when they do, they act like the victims. Like Samuel and Dale were the worst toxic males I've ever had the displeasure of reading about. And yet it was Constance's fault she did what she did, rather than the men's fault for being absolute, weak bellends.

I absolutely loved everything about If I Can't Have You. Charlotte Levin is absolutely incredible. Her writing is sharp and fresh. The pace of this novel was fantastic, the ending was genuinely satisfying, but her creation of Constance was perfect. PERFECT. I don't think I will ever, ever, meet a character who I completely understand the way I understand Constance. I have been left in a state of very satisfying shock and I implore you to read this book.

If I Can’t Have You is a stunning début novel by new author Charlotte Levin. There was such a lot to love about this smart and compelling story.

Constance Little currently works as a receptionist at a private doctors surgery in Kensington. When a new doctor, Samuel Stevens, starts at the practice it isn't long before Constance is overwhelmingly infatuated with him. He's exceedingly attractive, very confident, and has an inflated sense of his own importance. But Constance can't stop thinking about him. When he appears to welcome her romantic overtures she is ecstatic. When it becomes apparent that they aren't singing from the same song sheet, he ends their brief liaison rather cruelly and Constance's infatuation turns into an obsession...

This character driven, dark story is told from Constance's viewpoint. Even though her behaviour was frenetic and disturbing and she clearly had some issues, it was difficult to not feel for her. The author cunningly made good use of this making me feel very torn, with mixed emotions. This is a raw and compelling story with many thrills and it is also one of deep provocation. If I Can’t Have You is a remarkable début.

I received a complimentary copy of this novel at my request from Pan Macmillan/ Mantle via NetGalley. This review is my own unbiased opinion.

I was desperate to read this and found it incredibly enjoyable. It's denouement was perhaps a little more sedate than I hoped, but there were some fantastically gripping scenes which really kept me on the edge of my seat. This is a spectacular debut and I will be seeking out Charlotte Levin's books in the future, she's definitely one to watch.

A story centred around a troubled receptionist at a doctors surgery who develops an obsessive crush on a doctor....disturbing and cringey but also I wanted to see what happened next....a good read!

Sadly, this book wasn’t for me. I struggled to get hooked from the start and I did contemplate not finishing it, but I do like to finish what I start.

The writing style was not what I usually read and the story of a dark obsession didn’t seem to keep my attention.

Thanks to Netgalley for the chance to read in exchange for an honest review.

Thank you to Netgalley for my arc!
So I want to rate this book 3.5 stars out of 5 and I don't usually do halves, but it was a bit better than my usual 3 stars but not enough to be 4!

I so wanted to love this book and are first I was gripped! Constance is a medical receptionist who falls in love with Dr Stevens at the practice but we learn all isn't as it seems.
It is told in first person from Constance point of view, which I enjoyed, even though she is slightly disturbed and unstable, added to the mystery of the book
Loved her relationship with Edward as well, was very sweet. However it just dragged on a bit too long and became a bit too repetitive. I had guessed the ending and wasnt as much of a shock or surprise and after the rest of the story being dragged out so much, the ending then seemed really rushed and not as shocking or surprising as it perhaps was meant to be.
I enjoyed the way it was written and the main storyline but it just wasnt gripping enough for me, with so many brilliant books out, this one just doesnt stand out unfortunately.

Receptionist Constance and Dr Samuel have a brief relationship, but for Constance it’s not over. How far will she go to win him back?

I found this an interesting story - told in the first person throughout - about obsession and compulsive behaviour. Constance is a complicated character; by only hearing her side of the tale, you don’t know how much of Samuel’s behaviour is real and how much is her interpretation of innocent events. Her growing friendship with the elderly Edward is delightful, her treatment of Dale less so, although, again, whether he actually deserved it is dependent on her views,

A good book, although I found it overlong at times. I think her obsessive behaviour was quite obvious from early on, and whether it really needed as many examples and descriptions as it got, I don’t know. Overall, a good psychological read.

Constance Little a receptionist at a doctor’s surgery fell in love with a new doctor Samuel Steven from the moment he walks in into the surgery. She soon becomes obsessed with Samuel. She put all effort to be acknowledged by him. She's desperate for his attention. Samuel entertains her advances but wasn't looking for a serious relationship. Little did he know that Constance is actually obsessed with him. There were series of stalking events and some made me cringe.

This book was written from Constance’s point of view. It’s in the form of a letter where Dr Franco her psychiatrist suggests her to write to the man she's obsessed with. Constance is a complicated character. She’s lonely and broken. Not sure where I stand with Constance. I liked her, but sometimes her crazy behaviour makes me disliked her.

This book reminds me of You, but with female protagonist. Despite of some uncomfortable scenes, there are moments of sadness here. This is a slow-paced read. The book focused on Constance as a character. It's less action but enough to keep me turning the pages.

Thank you to netgalley and panmacmillan for the ARC.

Woah! This is a scary stalker read. The narrator is seriously messed up and you know things aren't going to end well from the prologue. Exactly how we get there is like watching a car crash in slow motion. You know it's not going to be pretty and people are going to get hurt but there is nothing you can do to stop it. A little longer than I'd have liked in the middle, the start and end of the book definitely more than make up for this. Recommended.

If I Can’t Have You is Charlotte Levin’s superb debut novel and is part thriller and part human interest story which is a smart and heart-breaking read. It poses the question: how far would you be willing to go for the one you love?

We meet Constance Little who currently works as a receptionist at a private doctors surgery in Kensington. When a GP at the surgery passes away the clinicians call a meeting about finding another doctor to fill his space. Enter Dr Samuel Stevens. He's hubristic, attractive with an inflated sense of importance and a huge ego to boot. Despite this, it doesn't take long before Constance is overwhelmingly infatuated with him. Soon every thought that goes through her mind is of him. When she plucks up the courage to make a move on him she is ecstatic that her advances are reciprocated. But it becomes apparent that they aren't exactly on the same page, so to speak, as she has genuine feelings for Samuel whereas this is just a bit of fun to him. When he ends their brief affair in a cruel and compassionless manner Constance's infatuation turns into a dangerous obsession. How far will she go to win back the man of her dreams?

Ms Levin has written an absolutely riveting tale that quickly becomes chilling and disturbing due to Constance and her increasingly insane behaviour. What I particularly enjoyed was that although main character Constance has some very dangerous issues going on you can't help but feel for her as some of her thoughts and actions are relatable and I'm sure this was intentional on the authors part to make us readers feel rather conflicted. Written in a wholly original format, as a letter to her therapist, we are given access to her private thoughts and feelings and see very clearly her evolution into an obsessive state. Not only does this story bring thrills but there is plenty of emotion too and I felt moved to tears a number of times. The paciness continues throughout the book and I feel this is a captivating and utterly engrossing character-driven tale. Constance is a somewhat lost soul who is vulnerable due to grieving her mother's death. A creepy and sophisticated thriller. Many thanks to Mantle for an ARC.

This was a very dark book with many trigger warnings! But I always felt compelled to carry on and root for better for Constance. The men in this book often had me feeling angry, frustrated and shocked and left me with a lot to think about.
Would highly recommend but for many research trigger warnings for abuse,cancer and suicide before going ahead.
Thanks to Netgalley for allowing me to read an ARC if this book in return for an honest review.

This story is all about lonely, 26 year old Constance Little, who is a receptionist at a doctors surgery in London. She falls in love with a new doctor at the practice called Samuel Stevens. She thinks he feels the same about her but when he ends their very brief, passionate affair she feels betrayed but is still completely and utterly obsessed with him. When I say obsessed, I mean extreme stalker like obsessed! She follows him secretly home, sneaks into his office to smell his coat when he isn’t there, writes him anonymous letters, makes prank phone calls and even goes to the extremes of breaking into his house.

As you can tell, Constance is a very troubled, vulnerable young woman and when you read flashbacks from her past you begin to understand why she behaves this way even though you know her behaviour is completely ludicrous. Samuel is an arrogant, lying, womanizer and Constance is in denial throughout the book still believing that he really does care about her. Though he is just stringing her along and playing with her feelings.

There are quite a few themes throughout this story such as mental health issues, grief and obsession. It is an intense, creepy read that is told through Constance’s point of view in the form of a letter from her to Samuel. This really helps you to understand her darkest thoughts and even though they were twisted, you kind of understand her reasoning for why she behaved in such a way. There are also a few triggers within this story such as attempted rape, self harm and suicide. That should give you some insight as to how dark and unsettling this book is.

There are some light-hearted parts such the friendship between Constance and Edward, an elderly man who she befriends when helping him when he was attacked by some thugs. Constance starts to see him as a much needed father figure and the way those two cared about each other was just so beautifully written.

Overall, this is an emotional, well paced, thriller that is superbly written and will leave you shocked at the chilling conclusion.

Thank you to the publisher Pan Macmillan and Netgalley for letting me read this book in exchange for an honest review.

If I Can't Have You is described as an all-consuming novel about loneliness, obsession and how far we are willing to go for the ones we love. Hailed accurately as a cross between Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine and the very creepy You, I knew this was the book for me.

The story is told entirely from Constance's point of view, and although she is clearly quite creepy and in need of professional help, you can't help but feel a bit sorry for her. The problem is, we have all been there (to an extent). A man (usually) says he can't help but find you so attractive and acts like a total arsehole thinking he can have his cake and eat it which causes you to (sometimes) act in ways you don't recognise as being, well, absurd. Although, granted, Constance does take it all a hell of a lot further than your average messed-about woman. She becomes all-consumed by her love, her obsession, with this man that she cannot clearly see what she is doing. There are moments where she seems to realise that some of her actions are completely out of order, however these moments are fleeting.

It doesn't help that both Samuel and Dale are unlikeable characters. The only man who is remotely nice in this book is Edward, and he's incredibly old, giving Constance the father-figure she has been missing,

Dr Franco (the only other nice male character) convinces Constance to start talking about her past, about her parents, and through these conversations her history begins to unravel and the reader understands just how severe these feelings of hurt and betrayal are that have been dug up by Samuel's rejection.

This is a fairly pacy thriller which will make you feel uncomfortable but unable to stop reading. The only thing I will say is that this book NEEDS a trigger warning. Self harm, suicide and sexual assault especially, so do be aware if you read this book. If content containing these topics will cause you to be triggered in any way then please do not read this book. If these topics do not cause issues for your mental health, then definitely read it.

I found Constance really hard to connect with and at times this was so cringe worthy and hard to read, but intentionally so. Despite this it was incredibly compelling.

A dark tale of obsession and mental health issues. A difficult one for me as I didn't like Constance, she just felt a little bit one dimensional and flat. Samuel was an interesting character, would have liked to have learnt more about why he was such a narcissist, and I felt that we didn't learn enough about Dale either.
An OK read but not outstanding.

Poor Constance. Everyone she loves, leaves her. She runs away from home with barely any possessions, just some clothes and her mother’s diaries and is alone in the world in a new town with nobody. . She feels like she’s on the periphery of all the people around her, and places she frequents. As a receptionist at the local doctors’ surgery, she meets and falls in love with the new doctor. The love triangle with herself, the doctor and her flat mate lead to jealousy, obsession and a very uncomfortable yet realistic plot line. She has deep fears and secrets which we learn as the story develops. A well told unnerving and sometimes chilling read.
Thanks to #NetGalley for the opportunity to read this ahead of publication in exchange for an honest review

A complex, well-written thriller offering an insight into the mental unravelling of a damaged person. This is told in the first person with the ultimate unreliable narrator: you're in her head and you understand her perspective, but Charlotte Levin is such a skilled writer that you also know what's real and what's all in the protagonist's imagination. I'm so impressed with this novel and can't wait to read more by this writer.

‘If I Can’t Have You’ centres on Constance, who is twenty-six, originally from Manchester and now living in a bedsit in London, working as a receptionist at a doctor’s surgery. A new doctor arrives on the scene, Dr Samuel Stevens, and the two begin to see each other.

The novel begins with Constance on a tube train, in a wedding dress covered with blood and a tooth falling out, presumably from a fight. This had me hooked. How did she get there and what had happened?

At times I felt sad, embarrassed for her and at others laughed out loud, certainly at her bedsit neighbour with the idea that her name could be ‘Constance Little-Cox’. Told by Constance, her humour and one-line quips about her work colleagues and others is brilliant.

Cleverly portrayed as a flawed character, she descends into a dark place for a variety of reasons but the story is compelling and addresses some sensitive areas with great sensitivity and clarity.

Many thanks to NetGalley, Pan MacMillan and Charlotte Levin for my ARC in return for my honest review.

Utterly compelling. Highly recommended.

What a book! I knew from the synopsis I needed to read If I Can’t Have You by Charlotte Levin. An unstable main character who falls in love with someone and plunges into a prison of her own thoughts will always grab my attention.

Constance is a lonely young woman who works at a doctor’s office. When she embarks on a secret affair with one of the doctors, she is soon pulled into a dark obsession that takes over everything she does. She believes they are in love, he believes its all just “fun” and discards her. Constance won’t let him go, however, and delves into a destructive obsession.

I appreciate how the author really takes us into the mind of Constance.

Take a look:

Samuel, the day we met I knew I’d finally found what I’ve been waiting for.

You. Happiness, at last. Then you left me.

And now I am alone. Everyone I love leaves in the end. But not this time. I’m not giving up on us. I’m not giving up on you.

When you love someone, you never let them go. That’s why for me, this is just beginning.

This is one of those books where the reader is glued to the pages, knowing the character is taking things too far, but we need to keep reading to see just how far she will go.

Don’t miss If I Can’t Have You! It’s due out on July 9. If you liked The Girl on the Train or Gone Girl, I think you will love this book.

I didn’t see it on Amazon but you can order it from Book Depository (I order books from here all the time) here.