So this book had a lot strong themes and ideas throughout: abandonment, loss, love, grief, revenge and a whole lot more. The story centers around Alice and how her fathers leaves her and many years later meets someone named Jake, who becomes her husband. She thinks she has it all when their son Adam is born but he dies tragically. Alice has another downward spiral and tries to put her life back together and Jake is powerless to help her and doesn't know what to do.

Just like a few other reviews, I feel that this was not really a thriller book but one of loss and tragedy. It was well written and kept my turning pages late into the night and this surely will be the first of many written by Hogarth. Definitely a good read for sure.

Thanks to Troubador Publishing for granting my wish to read this as it has already been published. I really appreciate it. Also thanks to Netgalley and Sandy Hogarth for allowing this wish to be granted so I can enjoy a free copy.

Available: 4/23/20

Thank you Netgalley for this ARC of Because of You I Am by Sandy Hogarth.

When Alice, a librarian in her mid-thirties, meets Jake, her life finally begins to make sense. But after they are married and have a son name Adam, Alice really knows her true love. Constantly awed by his intelligence and sweet disposition, Alice cannot get enough of her precocious son. So when tragedy hits, how on earth will Alice move forward?

I was not prepared for a book with so much weight. I actually had to catch myself when I recognized that I was unfairly judging the characters. Grief comes in all varieties, and people handle it in different ways. Having said that, where is the line? At what point does your grief bleed translate into hurting others?

Having said that, I was very satisfied with the ending, it had hope and redemption, so I was glad not to be left completely hollowed out, as I felt through a large bulk of the story.

Thank you so much NetGalley and the publisher for my complimentary eARC of this book in exchange for my honest review. This book was exactly what I love in a book dark, twisty, omg moments and so much more! So if you are looking for a book like that this one is for you.

This is my first novel by Sandy Hogarth and although it’s a fabulous psychological/domestic noir thriller it is also a fabulous literary novel written by a far superior author then most in this genre. The story revolves around Alice who now has everything she ever wanted (a husband called Jake, for goodness sake) and a beautiful young son. Until tragedy strikes: Then we discover we are now reading a revenge novel. Against the person who has completely derailed her perfect life. Or did she? Didn’t want it to end but the ending was satisfying and can’t wait for the next one!

Alice was abandoned by the father she so adored as a teenager. She moves to London at 16 and kind of floats through life for the next 20 years or so until she meets Jake, the love of her life. You can just feel their love throughout the story. After their child Adam is born, Alice is the a dotting mom and so clearly meant to be a mother. When tragedy strikes and Adam is killed, Alice becomes lost and can’t bear the grief. What comes next is a painful look at how losing a child and past pent up feelings of loss for a father can lead Alice to the brink of nothingness and actions that land her in prison.
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This book was not really a mystery/thriller as it’s categorized. The story was well laid out, characters showed depth and I felt along with Alice. The writing style took me time to get used to, but it was very descriptive and I ended up liking the way it came together. I did feel some parts were slow as I like books that move forward faster, but when the book is about grief of a mother I understand how you can’t gloss through that.

Thank you to Troubador Publishing Ltd. for granting my wish! This is my first Sandy Hogarth book, but it certainly won't be my last.

Because of You I Am tells the story of Alice. After being abandoned by her father, Alice went on a downward spiral until she eventually met and married Jake. Shortly after, Alice and Jake have a son, Adam, and she is able to officially leave her dark past behind her. But when Adam is killed six years later, Alice begins another dark, downward spiral and sets out to avenge Adam's death.

Sandy Hogarth did a fantastic job of developing her characters and narrative. I could truly feel Alice's pain seep through the pages of the book -- the sure sign of a great writer! This was a great read for 2020!

Wow. This book is powerful in so many ways. Heartbreaking, surprising and a book that really pulled different feelings out of me. It challenged me with certain scenes and actions of characters that had me changing my viewpoint. This made the book so fascinating. I could not get enough of this story. Very compelling.

A child. A horrific moment in time. Lives altered forever.

Whether you are a mother or not this book will hit you emotionally. The ending had me literally sitting with my mouth hanging open for minutes. I was reeling as I did NOT see that coming for one moment. Sandy Hogarth delivered on giving the reader more and more with this book.

I don't want to go into the plot. This is a story that is so raw it stays with you and I really highly recommend this one to grab and read. We get to know life from a grieving mothers perspective. Sandy Hogarth does not shy away from the devastating impact this can have on a human being. Her descriptive writing is filled with emotion and I was empathising all the way. I felt for so many characters. I watched the impact of pain, blame, shame and grief of a once loving couple, how being who you once were is now impossible. How a moment in time changes your life forever and despite the yearning to get back to where you were and turn back the clock it's not possible.

There are powerful scenes in this book and psychological drama. Sandy pulls you into the plot and keeps you there with a firm grip, the reveals and exposure of the truth in this novel simply blew me away. I was totally blindsided and kudos to the author for that. The words "Oh my God, Oh my God" came from my mouth. Powerfully impacting reading. The choices one character makes are at times really shocking, ones you will not predict. This was how my feelings around many characters kept changing with more and more of the story revealed. A brilliant read. Highly recommended!

Oh my gosh! This book. Sandy Hogarth is a poet and has such a way with words. I really wouldn't call this book a thriller and although I was expecting one what I got was so, so much more. What an absolutely gutting (in a good way) book. The impact of people on one another, the way we carry our baggage from place to place adding more with every relationship like the worst possible souvenirs, how we fail to communicate who we are and what we want, how we don’t know those things because we don’t always know ourselves, how we can become redeemed in the love and loving of another person. I’m not sure I’ve felt more seen by a book. It somehow had the emotional resonance of every intimate conversation I’ve ever had and my entire body hummed with the familiarity and anxiety of those moments while reading it. I couldn’t put it down.

Alice had a troubled past but grew up to become a librarian when she meets the love of her life, Jake. When everything seems to be going perfectly for the couple, their son, Adam is killed. As a result, Alice finds herself going down the rabbit hole for revenge. These are the makings of a wonderful plot. However, while there were several areas of the book that were gripping, I often struggled to continue to read.

I received an advanced reader copy in exchange for an honest review.

This book is a slow burn, but it’s lovely
- the language is so lyrical Once the plot picks up, it’s riveting. Solid four

This story follows Alice who has never really gotten over her Father walking out when she was young. She has been content just sailing through life when she meets Jake. They fall in love instantly and overjoyed when their son Adam is born in a few years. However, tragedy strikes and Alice's life will never be the same again.

This story will definitely stay with be with me for a long time. The author does an amazing job at portraying raw human emotions such as grief, anger and forgiveness.

I gave this three stars just because it was a bit too much of a slow burner for me but I really enjoyed the ending and look forward to reading more from the author.

This book is beautifully written, at first it almost felt like it was set in an older time period than the actual date it is set. The descriptive passages and small details really set the scene.

Alice has had a hard start to life. Her father left when she was fourteen. She runs away and eventually meets Jake and falls in love. Still life is not kind and we are taken through her losing her son and the grief she has from what happened that day.

I found the pace of this book to be quite slow for the first few chapters. However I soon got into the style of writing and the ending for me was perfect.

This book will stay with me for a while to come. I will definitely look out for this author in the future.

Thank you to Netgalley and Troubador Book publishing for letting me read this book

A really good revenge story. I totally felt the pain through the writing of this book. It was well written and intriguing. Highly recommended