This is a really good read. A different feel to James' last book, by which I mean it is honest and vulnerable. James' last book was all about being right when it came to the big arguments of the day. This book is all about how sometimes you have to put your hands up and admit you're wrong - which is something easier said than done. A great read and would thoroughly recommend for fans for James' work

This is a book about being able to change your mind rather than dig deeper and get more entrenched when you feel threatened. It feels more vital than ever in this time of tribalization and echo chambers to actually be able to talk to each other, empathize and reach compromises rather than being stuck in our own little silos. James illustrates it with examples of where in hindsight he got things wrong and also suggest useful question to ask ourselves. He is also a huge advocate for therapy as being a helpful process for being able to reflect on the influences that shaped him, and as a psychotherapist, it is a lovely thing to hear someone state that so publicly.

“Opinions are made to be changed – or how is truth to be got at?” - Lord Byron

James O’Brien has made a career of being forcefully right on his radio show and exposing the holes in the often firmly held beliefs of people phoning in. In this latest book, however, he turns his interrogative skills onto himself and his own opinions and in doing so presents something that is universally helpful.

The state of debate in this country is appalling and much of that is because everyone who engages in it is encouraged to be absolutely certain of all of their thoughts and to wage a furious war against anything different. There is no space for listening, no will to understand another perspective and no reward for compromise and collaboration. As a result, we are operating at extremes of opinion, which in turn have multifariously divided us as a nation.

O’Brien looks back at his life and the archives of his radio show to discuss a number of key topics on which he has changed his mind. This covers his family life, growing up adopted in a very loving environment, attending a fee-paying school, because his journalist dad had seen how it opens doors and wanted those that were closed in his own career opened for his son, and also a range of engaging guests to his show, who have managed to break through his outer crust of self-defence to influence his thinking.

The book is engaging with its accessible style and use of transcripts from phone-in conversations to illustrate his points and endearing as we find out something about the real person behind the confrontational radio persona. It is also revelatory because as each chapter digs deeper into the different perspectives on a significant topic in our current debate, we have to look in the mirror ourselves and face up to our own prejudices, biases and strongly held opinions.

The chapter entitled Trans was particularly moving, because it seems to be a perfect example of two sides to a debate that individually have much merit and sympathy, but in which there is no space at all to come together, whether you are involved personally in it or just keen to learn more and understand it. In the middle though are real people trying to cope with real, in some cases life-threatening, issues who are suffering even more pain.

How Not To Be Wrong could be used in schools as a guide to students on how to hold, discuss, understand and develop opinions, but could perhaps more urgently also be pressed upon sitting politicians, talk show hosts and participants and indeed anyone who holds a social media account. It is a sad reflection on us all that we have come to this, but we all need to retrained in the basics of debate and national conversation, because the further we go down our current path of celebrating ignorance, bigotry and self-aggrandisement the worse things will get.

I was not sure what to expect with this book but found myself pleasantly surprised.

James O'Brien details how he has changed his opinions on controversial topics but he also explains his reasoning on why he held those opinions and why they have changed.

The pages turned themselves, this was a very easy read and thoroughly enjoyable,

This book also described James's personal life including his adoption and how that has shaped his life.

Much more thoughtful, reflective and compassionate than his last book. James O'Brien, with the benefit of therapy, explores how we can all really listen and take on board other people's viewpoints.

An open and honest review of James’ way of evolving. With a mix of personal and professional experiences mixed with expertise it provides a very insightful and almost vulnerable insight into the way James O’Brien has adapted his way of thinking. Something you’d never appreciate from his radio show, well not to this extent!
I do think you get more out of the book if you are already invested in Mr O’Brien and listen to his radio show. If he can evolve and see how his way was not necessarily the right way for him or his family, even in his professional life then I think we can all learn a lesson

Review: How Not To Be Wrong by James O’Brien.
In his bestselling How To Be Right, James provided an invigorating guide to how to talk to people with bad opinions. And yet the question he always gets asked is ‘If you’re so sure about everything, haven’t you ever changed your mind?’
Coloured with stories of changing minds from the incredible guests on his podcasts and callers to his radio show, and spanning big ideas like press regulation and brexit, through to playful subjects like football and dog-ownership, How Not To Be Wrong is packed with revelations, outrage, conversations and lots of humour.
After reading his first book, ‘How To Be Right’ I knew I woul want to read from O’Brien and when this came up for request, I was very happy indeed. One of the signs I feel of a good person is that you can reflect and acknowledge where you went wrong and this book certainly highlights how he has got it wrong and the paradigm shifts that have occurred along the way, which I feel are relateable to many - even if I feel the many who need to read this, probably won’t.

I respect the vulnerability in this book and how honest he is about going to therapy and how he listens to the people now who call into him, compared the person he was a decade ago. How he discusses the survivor personality and tried to work out his trauma from when he was young is really raw and certainly made me think about how what happens to us can effect throughout our lives and how sometimes we need to take a step back and figure out how to resolve those issues within ourselves.

I feel like this is a book that allows the reader to open their mind about their own views, as it relaxes the reader and gives perspective, the author almost feels like they understand the reader - and I feel I would recommend this book to many people I know as I don’t think this book takes side but furrows its own path in an incredibly honest and interesting way which is how I felt about his first book too!

An interesting and introspective view on UK Politics.

(I received an ARC from NetGalley for honest review).

I thought How Not To Be Wrong was excellent. I don’t listen to James O’Brien but I enjoyed his previous book, How To Be Right very much and tried this on the strength of it. It’s a very different book, but just as good and just as important.

The message of the book is summed up in its penultimate sentence: “I have finally learned that admitting to being wrong is infinitely more important than using skills and tricks and weapons and tools to look ‘right’, and that there is no point in having a mind if you can’t change it.” It’s an important message; what that sentence doesn’t convey, though, is what a remarkably honest and courageous book this is. O’Brien talks openly about some of the times he has been, in his words, “horribly wrong” either about an idea or about the way in which he has treated someone. It makes quite painful reading sometimes; it must have been very difficult to write and I think he deserves great credit for what he has done.

He has a lot to say about the way in which early experiences at school in particular gave him a mindset of always expecting attack and how he built a set of verbal tools to fend off attacks and to “win,” rather than to really listen to and empathise with what people with different life experiences may be saying to him. It took a major family crisis for him to realise that these tools did not make him a good father or husband in these circumstances and, again to his credit, he sought counselling even though he was mightily sceptical and cynical about the whole process. His description of how this affected him and the subsequent re-evaluation of much of how he behaves toward people is readable, fascinating and moving in places. Much of what he says applies to an awful lot of us (especially men, I would suggest) and is a salutary read.

I can recommend How Not To Be Wrong as an engrossing, thoughtful and thoroughly illuminating read. One of my best books of the year so far.

(My thanks to Random House, WH Allen for an ARC via NetGalley.)

In this volume James O'Brien takes a series of topical and personal issues and uses them to explore how to be wrong. He takes a personal look at things he's got wrong, subjects on which he has changed his mind and topics on which he is still conflicted and undecided. His key point is that we should all be open to listening to others and to reviewing our own opinions in the light of their testimony. He decries the politics of populism and the way it encourages us to take sides, digging into entrenched positions that do not really withstand our own scrutiny.

I don't know much about James O'Brien, having never listened to his radio show, and I'm not sure I know much more having read this volume. It is in some ways quite a personal work but in other ways, it isn't really. There is not much of O'Brien the individual in here, it is really all about O'Brien the opinion. And so, whilst I respected the points he was making, I didn't really feel engaged with him as a narrator, and the book is rather humourless at times.

Having said that, O'Brien is really good at picking his way through an argument carefully and thoughtfully and the chapter on transgender issues is particularly strong. This book is certainly timely and makes a compelling argument for engaging with others, particularly on social media, by listening and questioning without judgement. He argues that we can all learn and we can all be wrong, and we should subject our own ideas to scrutiny before shouting them from the rooftops of social media.

This book opens with the line that 'there is no point having a mind if you never change it'. In a world that is increasingly polarised and blind to anyone else's opinion, this is a much needed look at how healthy it is to admit that you are sometimes, if not often, wrong. A personal journey into therapy following the ill-health of a loved one, this is an honest account of one man's ability to be proved wrong by other people's lived experiences. Tackling subjects such as discrimination, obesity, corporal punishment and issues of gender, it is written with candour and a refreshingly open mind in a world that is too often more concerned with proving others wrong, then reflecting on why those blinkered opinions are held in the first place.

As we are bombarded with opinion from every media source, and as the world becomes divided as never before, How Not To Be Wrong is a voice of reason that is much needed. We need to listen more. We need to question those in power without being accused of being snowflakes, or be accused of threatening 'freedom of speech' when actually all we are doing is scrutinising those who hold influence over society.

By examining our own opinions, fears and prejudices, we often learn that hate stems from fear or shame. It is only by looking inwards that we can change the world for the better.

It is okay to admit we all get it wrong sometimes. The world needs more of that.

How not To Be Wrong by James O'Brien was written after he found his own entrenched opinions and behaviour impacting on a member of his family who was ill. He was forced to realise that his lack of empathy was due to ingrained thought processes from his childhood and explores how and why he had the attitudes he did and why he found it hard to see other people's point of view. He was far from alone in only seeing one side of an argument.....his own but he realised he had to do something about it . The result is an engrossing book,that stuck a chord with me as despite coming from opposite ends of the social spectrum I've had very similar experiences in both my younger life and as an older person looking back for similar reasons.
O'Brien's message is "listen", other people's opinions,lifestyles and choices are just as valid as your own.....so respect that ,ask yourself why you have those opinions,and you might just learn something,just maybe they're right,you're wrong....and there's nothing wrong with realising that and changing your views.
As a radio phone in host O'Brien feels guilty about the times he's ridiculed and belittled people because he's been so concerned with being right and winning the argument that he's almost forgotten that he's talking to a person with just as much right to their opinion as him.
It's a very honest book, O'Brien highlights some of the moments in his career that have made him look very bad but now he's learned to put himself in the shoes of people who disagree with him he now often agrees with them.
There were a couple of things he says that I strongly disagree with, but the whole point of the book is that just because I think he's wrong doesn't mean he is and he has as much right to his opinion as me.I did look at his side,and still disagree but respect his right to those opinions.
A very good read that will make you think and just maybe change the way you see other people and react to things you see in the media.

James O’Brian’s second book is brilliant. It is aptly started with the sentence, ‘there is no point having a mind if you never change it’. What may seem like a weakness to some, is actually a real strength.
James comes to the book having gone through a process of self-examination and therapy. This has had a profound effect on him and coupled with the impact of many of the callers to his show, he has changed his opinions on many subjects. I would say this has changed the author for the better.
How to be Wrong is a fascinating, honest and inspiring read. It clearly demonstrates the importance of accepting the need for an open mind and the strength required to admit when some long held options and beliefs may be wrong. James deals with some of the reasons why the foundations on which some fundamental opinions are built and how we can challenge them.
I would highly recommend this book.
Thanks to NetGalley for a Kindle copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

In his best-selling How to Be Right, James O'Brien provided an invigorating guide to how to talk to people with bad opinions. And yet the question he always gets asked is: 'if you're so sure about everything, haven't you ever changed your mind?' In an age of us vs them, tribal loyalties and bitter divisions, the ability to change our minds may be the most important power we have. In this intimate, personal new book, James' focus shifts from talking to other people to how you talk to yourself about what you really think. Ranging across a dazzling array of big topics, cultural questions and political hot potatoes, James reveals where he has changed his mind, explains what convinced him and shows why all of us need to kick the tyres of our opinions, check our assumptions and make sure we really think what we think we do. He asks us to consider that over time as people we have unwittingly formed both conscious and unconscious bias through the opinions we are exposed to, including those of our family members, our education systems and our place in society. The types of media we consume also feeds into these biases, including television, press and social media.

Coloured with stories of changing minds from the incredible guests on his podcasts and callers to his radio show, and spanning big ideas like press regulation and Brexit through to playful subjects like football and dog-ownership, How Not to Be Wrong is packed with revelations, outrage, conversations and lots of humour. Because in a world that seems more divided than ever, if you can't change your own mind you'll never really be able to change anyone else's. This is an accessible, fascinating and important read which argues that we should be more self-aware and reflective and challenge our own opinions. It's a compelling book that is written in a conversational style and you can tell it has been extensively researched. It also features some interesting anecdotes throughout and proposes that only through challenging our own thought processes can we learn to be more intuitive and come to understand that changing your mind, provided it is in an informed manner, helps us mature as people and be more open-minded in the long term. Highly recommended. Many thanks to WH Allen for an ARC.

Holding up a mirror to middle class views and how we have formed bias conscious and unconscious from our family, education and social setting. This is then fed into by the popular press and social media.
James makes for uncomfortable reading at time but challenges beliefs and where they come from. If you cannot agree to see an opposing side of a discussion this is not the book for you. Expands the thought process and hopefully gives you things to think about.