Between Perfect and Real examines the space between what we expect and reality. The space between our dreams and pedestals and our every day lives and struggles. This book is about bridging that gap. About recognizing the spaces between and how we bring them together. Dean's cast role as Romeo helps give voice and language to a feeling Dean's been struggling with forever. At the same time, it also confronts him with scary questions, coming out, and his girlfriend. Between Perfect and Real was emotional and heart wrenching.

It's tender and explorative as Dean figures out what this means for his life and his future. There are moments of joy as he figures out what his future could hold. Yet at the same time there are real moments of sadness as the future he envisioned crumbles, as he is bullied and as he comes out to his parents. Between Perfect and Real is complex. It celebrates friendships which are supportive, ones that makes mistakes, and everything in between. It features love that hurts, that you want to work out, that fights the writing on the wall.

I received a free copy of this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review – as always, thanks so much to Netgalley for sending this to me!

Between Perfect and Real follows Dean, a trans boy who is caught in the in-between of knowing deep down that he’s trans, but yet to take the first step into transitioning. When his school drama teacher casts him in the role of Romeo in the school play, Dean finally has a chance to experience life as the boy he’s always been, and he soon discovers that playing Romeo feels more right and more real than continuing to play at being a girl.

What follows is a difficult, often painful journey as Dean starts to explore what it means to be trans, meets other trans people, and takes his first steps towards transitioning. Between Perfect and Real is a wonderful title for this book, because it encompasses Dean’s journey perfectly. Not everyone has the best reaction to his coming out; some people embrace him with open arms, others struggle and make mistakes, others don’t handle it at all. I liked how the book doesn’t try to gloss over the difficulties and the pain that trans people face, but it’s not all sadness and gloom either. Dean has supportive friends to lean on, even when some of them let him down; surrogate families who prop him up when his own family lets him down. A lot of the time, the book was painful to read – there are slurs thrown around, rejections, misgendering, both intentional and unintentional, and a lot of casual cruelty – but it also shows that for every bit of pain Dean experiences, there’s accompanying joy. It’s not all doom and gloom or sunshine and rainbows, which means that you’re ultimately left with hopeful feelings at the end. The author didn’t feel the need to make everything work out perfectly or wrap up every loose end in a neat bow. It’s raw and authentic and amazing, if a little bittersweet.

The writing is accessible and easy, and the whole book flies by; I finished it in one morning, and I couldn’t stop turning pages to see how things would turn out. I think it was beautifully constructed, heartfelt, and overall a really fantastic read.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for this eARC!

Between Perfect and Real is a contemporary YA novel about a trans teenager's coming out story. Although I cannot speak to the accuracy of the trans representation in this book since I'm cis myself, I will say that from a queer cis persons POV I believed the representation in this book was meaningful and true. My favourite part about reading Between Perfect and Real was that it made me feel so many different emotions alongside the main character; when he was sad, I was sad. When he was angry, I was angry. In addition, this book had a lot of really good one liners and I thoroughly enjoyed the relationship dynamic between Dean and some of the side characters.

I recommend this book for anyone looking for a YA contemporary read with a trans main character, queer side characters (lesbian, bisexual, gay, non-binary, and trans), theatre, and/or self discovery/acceptance. But trigger warnings such as transphobia and bullying should be taken into consideration!

I absolutely adored this story. From the characters, the plot, the setting... everything felt real and raw.

I did feel, though, that at some points in the story the writing bordered on Middle Grade instead of YA. This felt very much on the younger end of YA, which is strange since this book is about a senior in high school.

I really liked that this story delved into trans rights and discovering and loving yourself. If you want to read a story about self acceptance and learning how to handle life at its toughest of moments, pick this one up.

** This review contains spoilers**

Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher (Amulet Books) for an eARC in exchange for an honest review.

I would like to clarify that, whilst I’m a member of the LGBTQ+ community, I am NOT an own voices trans reviewer, and I implore you to seek out reviews from those who are.

Between Perfect and Real is a wonderful YA debut from non-binary author Ray Stoeve. It follows the experiences of trans boy Dean Foster in his senior year of high school in Seattle, trying to get into college and have a successful relationship, whilst coming to terms with his identity and grappling with coming out to the world.

To start with, I found this lacking in depth, but honestly that’s TOTALLY on me – I just needed to get back into the YA style after not reading it for a long time (especially contemporaries). Ultimately, I really loved this – I became heavily invested in Dean’s story and I was really rooting for him. This novel tackled a lot of heavy issues – bullying, anti-trans hate crimes/discrimination, unsupportive parents, chosen family, dysphoria, being trans in what was previously viewed by others as a lesbian relationship. And this didn’t pull any punches, these dark and difficult concepts were accurately tackled, but also with an underlying theme of hope.

I especially like that this work showcased that there is no one way to be trans, trans-masculine or non-binary. Different forms of dysphoria were discussed, wanting or not wanting to start T, whether you are still trans if you don’t want bottom surgery. So many nuances were tackled, that are likely to be so affirming for young trans men and trans-masculine enbies reading this.

I like that Dean’s relationship didn’t have a happy ending, as it is realistic to show that there are some difficult things to tackle when coming out as trans. Despite ultimately losing everything he stated the book aiming for, the underlying message is hope – Dean wouldn’t trade his newfound comfort in his identity and the future of his transition for anything, even all those successes he previously dreamed of. Ultimately, ‘the possibilities are endless.’

I really loved this book - it warmed my heart and left me feeling so positive about the future for the LGBTQ+ community, especially our trans family.

Solid 4/5 stars.

CW: transphobia, deadnaming, body dysphoria, mention of trans person's suicide, bullying, and misgendering.

First of all, thank you SO much to Netgalley and Amulet Books for gifting me a review copy of Between Perfect and Real . I am so unbelievably excited for this book to come out and feel really honored to have been able to read it ahead of time! All opinions are my own.

This is a really lovely and extraordinarily important read for all readers. There are so few trans coming-of-age stories on the market and I'm SO glad that this one exists for those that need it. I really enjoyed learning more about the different types of people within the trans community and how they build their own family units.

Ray's writing was infectious - I read this nearly all in one day! I couldn't put it down and just needed to know more about Dean and his journey. While I can't identify with being trans, I felt connected with Dean with his love of high school theatre and the many emotions that are associated with a "final show," - that feeling of not feeling like an adult but having to look forward to life beyond the stage.

This was just really great. I will probably have more thoughts as I decompress everything, but I absolutely adored this and think everyone should pick it up!

BETWEEN PERFECT AND REAL is a much-needed story in LGBTQIAP+ YA, particularly trans YA. The book does depict (cw) deadnaming, bullying, forced outing, and mention of suicide (off the page, not the main character). However, it does not dwell in trans trauma, instead offering potential role models for friends, teachers, and family As a queer nonbinary teacher who works with LGBTQIAP+ young writers, I do plan to recommend this book to them and to allies. Many of my students--and their friends--will see themselves in Dean's coming out story. However, the writing itself is very unsophisticated and surface level. Dean as we as other characters cried so often, the tears lost their impact and the related scenes did not deliver an emotional impact. I won't use the actual text with my students as exemplary writing, but I will be highly recommending the story.

There’s no such thing a perfect – but this book comes pretty darn close.

This novel follows 17 year old trans boy, Dean. When he is cast as the male lead in the school play he begins exploring his gender further and realises he needs to come out and transition. It explores how his relationships with friends, family, his girlfriend and himself change and stay the same as he comes out and begins to socially transition.

This book was beautifully written. At times it felt more like poetry than a prose novel but it was still written in an accessible way. I really enjoyed the experience of reading it.

As a genderqueer trans man myself, I found the descriptions of dysphoria and the experience of being trans really spoke to me. Stoeve managed to capture these feelings in prose in a way that felt genuine and was beautifully written.

If I had any criticisms it’s that some parts were predictable but then again I am a 23 year old man and this is a YA novel so it’s not something that should bother most people. There was also a minor plot point which I thought would come back up but didn’t go anywhere – perhaps I read too much into it.

Overall I absolutely adore this book. A beautifully written novel of a trans guy figuring out who he is and what he needs set to the backdrop of my favourite play, Romeo and Juliet – it’s like it was written for me! I definitely recommend this book to anyone with even the slightest interest, trans or cis, it will not disappoint.

Content warnings: bullying, homophobia, transphobia, misgendering, outing, dysphoria, references to suicide

This was such an informative read tackling the realities and feelings shown from a trans person. Like any YA book, themes of romance, friendship and hardship were shown throughout but what interested me the most was Dean as an individual, his journey of self discovery was truly inspiring. I read this in one sitting because I couldn’t put it down.
I loved the way Ray writes his characters, they have depth and feel so so real. This book, i’d recommend to anyone,

Between Perfect and Real is a wonderful YA novel about a trans boy finding himself.

So many topics and themes are covered in this book. We have the usual YA plotlines of teen angst, romantic relationships, friendships, gaining more independence, planning for the future, and trying to understand the world not only for yourself but also from the viewpoint of others. The coming-of-age scenario is familiar to all YA readers. Ray Stoeve executes this in a fully relatable and realistic manner, they don't try too hard to make the characters 'fit' with many pre-conceived notions of how teenagers behave and I like this, individuality is to be celebrated rather than conformity in today's world.

Alongside these 'usual' YA plotlines and backdrops we have Dean's story. We see him feeling confused and unsure in regards to his identity and feelings. This is exasperated further due to his experiences throughout the book, his unaccepting mother, bullying, harassment, transphobia, purposeful misgendering, being outed by his girlfriend, and his body dysphoria. I really felt for Dean and the position he was in, his reactions to situations felt entirely realistic and justified. I loved that whilst he was maturing into adulthood and independence his teen side was still shown through the stomping off down the stairs and the 'quick to react' things he said to others in the heat of the moment.

I was glad that Dean had the support of Ronnie and Mr. Harrison, as well as the support group he joins and the new friends he makes there.

The concept of Dean exploring his identity through the role of Romeo in his school production was very apt. Due to societal and religious ideology and constraints back in Elizabethan England, many of Shakespeare's plays were performed with an all-male cast, therefore, the female roles were played by men. I liked the nod to this, and it worked well in terms of Dean being able to explore his gender identity and provoke questions and reactions that move the story further.

I will be adding this book to my ever-growing list of LGBTQ titles available in my library.

Thank you to NetGalley and ABRAMS Kids for the e-arc to review.

This was such a great an informative read! I always love seeing people's different experiences with their gender as I relate strongly to this topic!
I really think Ray Stoeve did amazing and has produced an amazing debut novel!

I'm not the biggest fan of books revolving around acting classes and such as I usually find those scenes a bit boring lol but in this book it was such a crucial element! As you could see Dean explore his own transness when he is given a lead male role!

"So it's up to you to decide how you want to look, what makes you feel like yourself."

I also loved the diversity of characters ranging in identities, sexualities, age and ethnicities. Which is also why I was a little disappointed that some people you just don't learn enough about! There were so many characters that peaked my interest but weren't delved into really at all. I hope this however opens up more books to go with this one!

"I want the life I never got"

I could bring up more however my review is getting pretty long :,) overall this was a brilliant book which delved into coming to terms with transness from all points of views which I really loved. This was heartbreaking at times but also really inspirational! I defiently recommend! :)

"The possibilies are endless."

Tw: Transphobia, Deadnaming

Thank you to NetGalley and publishers for this free eArc, this is my honest review.

Heartfelt, gentle, and worth every page of tears and triumph. Dean's story is relatable, beautiful, and the kind of book that reminds me why YA contemporaries have a chunk of my heart. Highly recommend for fans of Becky Albertalli, Adam Silvera, and Phil Stamper.

Oh, my heart. This book has my whole heart. I really adored Between Perfect and Real in a way that I wasn't expecting to.

The perfect:

✧ Dean, the main character, is wonderfully written. I wish I could speak more on the representation of the LGBTQ+ community but as a straight, cis woman, I'll refrain. What I will say is that despite that fact, I found Dean to be a relatable and realistic voice. When it comes to my own struggles and fears around acceptance and the ability to just be myself without caveat, I found that many of those feelings were replicated with Dean, and it was something pretty powerful. Aside from Dean, there the cast was really strong with lots of different voices being represented. I had so much love for many of the characters, especially Ronnie and Jared.

✧ This book is emotional. I nearly cried (and for me, that's really saying something). There are several really poignant moments throughout this story: ones that make you joyfully root for Dean, ones that make your heart sink to think of the struggles one has to face in today's world, and often moments with a little bit of both. Ultimately this is a book that makes you really feel something. The ending was left ambiguous but complete, although I definitely wouldn't object if a sequel happened to come through at a later date!

The real:

✦ BPAR tried to tackle a few social issues, not just to do with the LGBTQ+ community. It sometimes fell a little flat. It was nice to see other issues addressed, especially when done in an intersectional way, but it often felt quite surface level and didn't quite hit the mark.

✦ It sometimes felt like Dean didn't cut other characters slack when it came to his coming out. Zoe, for example, mentions how it can take time to adjust to a friend or family member coming out as trans when they've only ever known that person in one way. This particular comment was a source of quite a bit of conflict. I hesitate to make any criticism here because I definitely believe that people should be able to be themselves without fear of judgement or backlash, and without having to create space for the comfort of others. On the other hand, I think Zoe had a valid point, especially for those raised with more conservative mindsets.

I'm so, so glad I got early access to Between Perfect and Real, and I'm really hoping that everyone takes the chance to pick this up once it's finally released. Definitely, my favourite read of 2021 so far, and a wonderfully heartwarming debut from Ray Stoeve.

Thank you once again to NetGalley and ABRAMS Kids for providing this eARC!

'Between Perfect and Real' by Ray Stoeve is about Dean (who for the majority of this book you will want to just give a huge hug) who goes through a journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance. Dean has already come out once as a lesbian but, now cast as Romeo, comes to the realisation that he is a transgender male. We follow Dean as he tries to overcome his body dysmorphia, explore using he/him pronouns, and generally learn to accept his true self.

This is such an important contribution to young adult literature, not least to allow young people to see themselves and their journey in Dean. There are heartwarming moments of beauty (anything with lovely Ronnie) but Stoeve does not shy away from the potentially horrific side of coming out such as homophobic bullying, tension with parents and the break down of past relationships. I love that 'Romeo and Juliet' was used as a lens for Dean to explore his desire to be masculine - it allowed Dean to break down the barrier between performance and his true identity.

Overall, this is a pacey read with important themes. It is not always comfortable but readers are going to appreciate the reality of Dean's journey. 4.5 stars.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher who provided an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.

I thought this was a really good attempt at telling the struggles of going through transition and coming to terms with your gender, especially targeted at younger audiences. As a trans person, I wish I had read this earlier in my life, and I am incredibly excited that young trans people get to have this type of representation for them. The only reason I cannot - and will not - rate it any higher is in all honesty the simplicity of the story. I feel that it moves too quickly from one thing to another, there are themes that are not as developed as I wish they had been, and I would have loved to have connected more with the characters as they fell a bit flat for me.

Imagine being in high school and getting cast as the lead in the school play. That would, of course, be cause for some nerves. Now imagine instead that you’re coming to terms with your gender and also you’re cast as the gender you *know* you are but that’s not the one everyone assumes.

In Between Perfect and Real, this is what happens to Dean, a high school senior cast as Romeo in a production of Romeo and Juliet. Everyone assumes the director of the show is doing some risky gender-swapped role since at the start of the book, they all know Dean to be a lesbian. Little do they know that every day, Dean is becoming more and more confident of the fact that he is a trans guy.

This book is so open and honest from start to finish, especially with the nuances of coming out on your own terms mixed with having that taken away because of factors you can’t control. Stoeve balances family drama and friend drama incredibly well, navigating through an especially difficult high school experience. Add on college applications, bullying, and senior year angst to the mix and this becomes more than your average coming-of-age or coming out novel. This becomes a lifeline to any questioning or queer teen who needs to see themselves in these pages.

Dean finds his footing through the role of Romeo, through the costumes, through the lines. I hope that this book does the same for its future readers, they they are able to find their footing through Dean’s experiences and know that they’re worthy of being themselves.

5 Stars

3.5 stars

I honestly don’t have a lot to say about this book. It was a quick read with short chapters that kept me engaged, but the content fell flat. I had trouble connecting with Dean until the climax 75% of the way into the book. This book has great themes surrounding coming out and have to readjust when life doesn’t go as planned, but I don’t think it will stick with me long term.

My favourite thing about Between Perfect and Real, and of all my favourite queer coming-of-age stories was the idea of a 'chosen family'. Along with his (fabulous) friends from school, Dean finds a sense of belonging with a group of transgender folks in his town. Dean learns from all of the vibrant, unique people in this group that being transgender looks different and means something different for everyone there, and that's awesome! This powerful alliance of trans youth gives Dean the hope, comfort and support he needs to accept and be who he is.

It took me a good few chapters to adjust to the writing style, but once I did I found it really effective. The short sentences, lack of flowery language and the fact that this book is very dialogue-heavy definitely propel the book forward, and give you a great sense of Dean's way of thinking.

Dean's tone changes throughout the book to reflect his mental state, his voice and perspective shifting and warping ever so slightly. It makes reading heartbreaking at times as Dean is clearly suppressing his naturally enigmatic and colourful character, in favour of switching off and letting 'Robot Dean' take the wheel. These subtle changes in tone throughout the novel make Dean's character all the more relatable and tangible.

The pace of this book definitely reflects the sense of urgency Dean feels in discovering/coming to terms with his gender identity. Thoughts are racing in Dean's head from the get-go as he is cast as Romeo and we never lose momentum from there. This sense of urgency makes the book impossible to put down. It also makes the emotional blows Dean experiences all the more impactful. As Dean occasionally slows down and allows his grief and sadness to settle, it is nothing short of heartbreaking to know there's nothing he can do but wait it out.

I think Dean's story would be perfect for slightly younger teens as an introduction to some of the LGBTQIA+ terms and ideas that they may not yet fully understand. Between Perfect and Real tackles the ideas of identity and belonging in such an accessible and sensitive way, and I hope it will encourage more conversations around the transgender experience in younger folks. While not shying away from the darker aspects of Dean's story, this book commits to leaving the reader with a sense of hope and determination.

Thank you so so much to Amulet Books for the e-arc of this wonderful book!



PLEASE seek out and read reviews of this book written by transgender folks and people who can speak from experience on the topics explored in Dean's story like gender dysphoria, transphobia and the trans experience in general.

TWs: transphobia, bullying (including physical intimidation, name calling and one scene of physical attack on MC), brief mention of suicide (character not explored in book, suicide not on-page or in any way explicit), some slurs aimed at queer side characters, in-depth discussions on gender dysphoria.

4.5/5 stars.

I flew through this book in the space of a day. The writing is easy to follow, and really gets you into Dean's shoes as he deals with the internal struggles he feels while he grapples with his gender identity. I loved the emphasis of his love for theatre and performing, which I think really encapsulated his feelings about his gender as well. On several occasions, Dean expresses the feeling of putting on a role and not being yourself, to be able to put on a persona and not be confined to the perceptions other people have of you. I loved that acting gave him the escape he needed and the space to express who he really is. I loved every bit of the book, from how supportive his friends are, to how acting was used as a vehicle to show gender euphoria and dysphoria, to the inclusion of support groups that discussed such important topics about being trans.

Overall, I enjoyed this book a lot. I think it discussed a lot of important topics, containing moments that were both tough and heartfelt, and is a book that would a lot to people in the same boat as Dean.

content warnings: references to transphobia, misgendering, homophobia (mentioned), dead naming (name not mentioned), outing, mention of body dysmorphia, unsafe binding (combated), suicide (mentioned), bullying

This is an own stories book about a boy coming out as trans. I really liked Dean as a character. I feel like this would be great for a middle grade or younger YA audience. Although the situations the protagonist finds themselves in is tough. The story ends on a hopeful note.