This was my first book with a transgender main character and was very long overdue! I am so happy to read a book with this because it’s incredible to see the representation and get to learn more about them and their struggles in everyday life. ‘Between Perfect and Real’ has LGBTQ+ representation and explores all sexuality’s as well as also included POC!

The story itself was really lovely, I loved the aspect of the play interlinking and also how Dean felt that he could truly be himself on the stage. I loved his relationship in the group (NO SPOILERS DON’T WORRY) and also how his friends supported him.

It is heard wrenching to see how people and family can react to someone coming out but lovely to see those who stuck by Dean as he finally became happy with being who he truly is. I definitely recommend this book! Thank you to Netgalley, publishers and the author for the ARC in exchange for truthful review.

(Would like to say I am not apart of the LGBTQ+ community and although I enjoyed it, I can’t decide ultimately if the representation is amazing due to it not being my place to say so! So the ratings are subject to change)

CW: Transphobia, dysmorphia, misgendering, parental neglect, discussion of suicide, breakup, bullying, mentioned dead naming, unsafe binding.

Representation: Trans protagonist, LGBTQIA+ side characters, POC side characters

Note: Dean is dead named, but his dead name is never printed on-page.

BETWEEN PERFECT AND REAL is a fantastic, queer YA contemporary debut about self-discovery, acceptance, found family, and how theatre can help in embracing yourself.

I loved Dean’s story so much and I can’t wait for everyone to read it!

Thanks to NetGalley for this E-ARC in exchange for an honest review!

Thanks to the publisher for providing an eARC of Between Perfect and Real in exchange for an honest review.

THIS! This is how you write relatable teen characters. Dean and everyone in his life felt so much like actual people that it hurt my feelings. Dean is a trans, straight (I'm fairly sure), man and I'm a cis, queer, woman and yet I still found him to be one of the most relatable teens I've read in a long time despite us having pretty opposite identities because he's just so universally well written, oh my god.

So let's talk plot because that also was incredible. Dean has been going by Dean for years now, which occasionally turns heads because if you ask anyone else, Dean is a girl. While Dean grapples with starting to figure out that his typically male nickname was one of the most right parts of his identity, he also gets cast as the male lead in the school musical and starts to explore why he feels so much better playing men then women.

I'm not trans so I can't speak to how well the rep was handled and I do know Dean binds unhealthily once in this (although he very quickly points out how unhealthy that was) but as a queer person, I found his experience coming out to be really well handled. I loved the emphasis on the different ways he came out and the realistic ways people accidentally blundered it and really enjoyed the emphasis Stoeve puts on how the internet & support groups helped Dean come into his identity.

There are a few standout lines near the end of this that made me start to cry but I can't really discuss them without spoilers so hurry up and read it already so I have someone to gush over this with.

I really struggled with this book, not due to its subject, but because the main character Dean is so unlikeable. Dean is going through many things, but he never hesitates to judge others without giving much thought to what they might be going through. The parents essentially have no lives of their own, except with respect to how they react to Dean. Now this may be an appropriate YA convention, but it's not a good storytelling technique for me as a reader. A better version of this story would have the parents exist as full human beings outside of Dean's struggles. The character of Zoe is also given somewhat short shrift. Her wish to remain with the person she loves, is not explored in enough depth or with enough compassion. Finally, the writer has sometimes forgotten to show, not tell. Better exposition would have been helpful On the positive side, the many fears, worries, wishes, and hopes of a transgender teen are explored with great sensitivity. But an important topic is not enough to make a good book.

This book’s premise sounded so good, so I was very happy when I was approved for an ARC! I really enjoyed it. Between Perfect and Real was a beautiful debut about coming out as your true self.

For a while now, Dean has known he’s a trans guy but he hasn’t told anyone else. When he’s cast as a “nontraditional” Romeo in the school play, he’s excited to be playing a male character as a boy in front of people. As time goes on, he becomes more and more conflicted about sharing this part of himself, especially to his girlfriend Zoe, who’s a lesbian, and his mom, whom he knows won’t react well. However, with the help of his friend Ronnie, he begins attending a support group for trans youths and grows more comfortable with his identity.

I do want to state that I am cisgender and thus I read this book from a cis perspective. I can’t speak for anything representation-wise about this, obviously, but I liked that Dean’s dead name is never stated on page. There are mentions of people intentionally deadnaming him (as well as misgendering him) but never on page. This book is an example of how you can have a trans character transitioning without deadnaming them!

I also liked the big LGBTQ+ cast. Zoe is a lesbian, Ronnie is gay, and their other friend Allison is bisexual. Dean also befriends two trans people in his support group, Nina and Jade, and talks with other trans people in the group. I loved how supportive they were throughout the book; although this book had its downs, I’m glad that they were there to provide love and support.

There’s a discussion in the book about how, while his friends are queer, they do not really understand what Dean is going through, which is a big sticking point at times. It was important to note that they are cis, and I liked that he could talk to other trans people for advice. I also really liked that this book acknowledges Dean’s white privilege! He has discussed with Ronnie, who is Black, about how people would still “overlook” him because he is white. Very few YA books, especially LGBTQ+ ones, acknowledge this so explicitly.

The writing was very poignant. We easily slip into Dean’s POV and what he’s feeling at that time. I’m excited to see what this author writes in the future!

I can’t talk that much about the plot without alluding to the ending. There’s a lot of turmoil throughout this book, of course; not everyone in Dean’s life is so supportive, namely his mom, and not everyone is as understanding as he first believes. There’s a lot of growth over the course of the book, and I’m happy with where it ended though!

Between Perfect and Real is a moving debut about coming out as trans. I really liked the characters and the writing, as well as the acknowledgement of certain privileges. I definitely recommend Between Perfect and Real if you’re looking for a gorgeous LGBTQ+ story!

I was given an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review, courtesy of @ABRAMSkids and @netgalley

I’m a FTM trans reviewer and let me tell you this book perfectly captures the FTM trans experience.

Between Perfect and Real is a story about self discovery and not being afraid to unabashedly be yourself. Throughout the book Dean faces hardship from almost everyone trying to push their ideas of who he is onto him, which is unfortunately a truth we see all too often in the LGBTQ+ community.

While I personally didn’t transition when I was in Highschool, Dean’s fears and experiences are so relatable to any trans man or just any person thats afraid of showing their true self. His concerns regarding his identity are very similar to what Myself and some of my peers have gone through, it feels like the author truly knows and understands.

The characters are so well written, I cared about Dean as a main character and felt what he was feeling right along with him.

There was such good representation of all genders and races in the later half of the book that feel so authentic to the real LGBTQ+ community I’m a part of.

Aside from the theme, I loved the theater elements throughout the book. I was never really a theater kid in school but am into theater now as an adult and let me say, this book perfectly shows what it’s like to be in a stage show, even if it is only a high school production.

I’m so glad this book exists and as soon as it releases I’m ordering a copy for myself and even one for my parents, in hopes that upon reading it they can understand me a little better.

Review from my 12-year-old daughter:
Before I begin my review I would like to say I cannot speak on the accuracy of the representation and am basing my review on the writing.

Although I only rated this book 3 stars, I believe that it could mean a lot to a lot of people. This book follows Dean, a trans boy, who is not yet out and instead is allowing everyone to think he's a lesbian, including his best friend, his girlfriend, and his parents. When his theater teacher casts him in their school play as a "nontraditional" Romeo, he begins to think more about coming out and what that would mean for him.

There were a few things that I didn't like about this book, which is why I rated it 3 stars. The first is that at the beginning, multiple side characters were introduced that were all given backstories at once, so it was hard to keep track of what happened to who and who was important. Another thing is that it seemed to jump around from scene to scene randomly, and it almost didn't feel like the order of the scenes had been planned out that carefully. And lastly, it seemed like [ Zoe and Dean randomly began to have troubles in their relationship without any buildup. (hide spoiler)]

And although my amount of enjoyment throughout the book mostly remained the same, there were a few things that stuck out. First, I love Shakespeare's plays, and I was introduced to them through a book called "Star Crossed" by Barbara Dee, which was about a school production of Romeo and Juliet. So I appreciated the elements of Romeo and Juliet throughout this book, and I almost wish there had been a bigger focus on the play and on modernizing Shakespeare. Another thing that I liked was that once the side characters were fully established, they and Dean were all very relatable. And lastly, I liked how this book dealt with heavier topics but still managed to be fun.

Overall, I found this to be an enjoyable read that I feel like will mean a lot to many people.

What a perfect way to end such a perfectly real book. One of the themes of this book is that there's no one way to be trans; being trans comes with infinite possibilites. Dean's story highlights one of those possibilities, but also makes room for all of the others, in the way Dean debates what his transition should look like and the way so many other trans people are featured in this book - I loved the support group Dean went to!

I read this book in one sitting, I just could not put it down. Dean's story spoke to me so much and I loved reading a trans coming out story, we need them so badly!

*I received a free review copy in exchange for an honest review of this book.

As a trans person this was stressful and difficult to read. Not because of inaccuracies (the dysphoria felt extremely realistic and very draining), but because it spends so much time dwelling on all the stuff that sucks and how dysphoric the MC feels that I didn’t feel like I got to know any of the other characters. I wish I'd gotten a sense of who his friends are separate from how they did or did not help him come out. Even conversations which weren’t about gender would often fade into an internal monologue as the MC either couldn't pay attention or actively tuned them out. Later on when he's a lot less dysphoric the non-transition conversations would get summaries and the transition-focused conversations would get full dialogue. When he finds a supportive space and starts to have other trans people to talk to him it felt good at first, but then it became clear that the book was setting up tension between him and his girlfriend by him not communicating well and her thinking that his friendships with the trans group were a threat to her relationship with him. For a book so good at depicting how to navigate various medical aspects of a transmasc experience it felt like it sacrificed any attempts at modeling healthy social transition. His girlfriend would probably have felt a lot less isolated and threatened by his new friendships if he’d been able to communicate more clearly with her. I understand that part of it is he's a teenager, and teenagers not doing the right thing is part of writing realistic teenagers, but I find it hard to believe that in the hours and hours of transition video footage he didn't look up anything on how to come out to his family, come out to friends, or come out to his girlfriend. Even a few lines about how he'd seen those and they weren't any help might have fixed it (I read an ARC, so I don't know if the final version has changes like this).

It felt like the narrative had a very medicalized focus on transition. Pronoun etiquette aside (I appreciated that), almost every conversation about being trans had some piece about his body, trans bodies generally, binding, hormones, etc. And that’s a huge part of some people’s transitions, sure, but it meant that often the book felt like it was being trans 101 more than a story. But also, if you don’t know what I mean by “trans 101” “dysphoria”, “medicalized... transition”, or “pronoun etiquette”, then give this a try. It’s pretty accurate to one way transitioning can look and I hope it helps people. I read this as an ARC so it's possible some of my reservations were addressed in the final edit, but it would gut the book and turn it into an completely different narrative to refocus it away from the medical aspects of transition since that is so much of the plot.

Overall I'd recommend this as one transmasc perspective on navigating a lot of the more stressful parts of coming out, even if the MC isn't perfect at it. Seeing some things not work but it mostly ending up okay is really important. I do give the warning that there's a lot of dysphoric ideation and so this might be a stressful read for anyone with dysphoria or certain kinds of body dysmorphia.

CW for deadnaming (not depicted), misgendering, homophobia, dysphoria, transphobia, bullying, violence, suicide (not depicted).

"The possibilities are endless."

What a perfect way to end such a perfectly real book. One of the themes of this book is that there's no one way to be trans; being trans comes with infinite possibilites. Dean's story highlights one of those possibilities, but also makes room for all of the others, in the way Dean debates what his transition should look like and the way so many other trans people are featured in this book - I loved the support group Dean went to!

I read this book in one sitting, I just could not put it down. Dean's story spoke to me so much and I loved reading a trans coming out story, we need them so badly!

CWs: transphobia, misgendering, homophobia, bullying, gender dysphoria, mention of a trans person's suicide, deadnaming of said trans person (which I'll admit is the one thing in this book I did find unnecessary and I wish it wasn't included)

4.5 star read

Ok, "Between Perfect and Real" brought out so many feelings for me!!!! Dean!!! My boy!

Ok so this book is devastatingly beautiful. The representation in this book is what I've longed for! The only reason this isn't a 5 star for me, is because I had some issues with the break up. I really felt like some elements should have been elaborated on more (like that because Dean is trans F->M, and Zoe is a lesbian, they wanted to end it). I know it was a little more complicated, but I wish more of a distinction had been there.

This is an honest portrayal and doesn't hide the bad stuff with the good. I laughed and cried and felt for these characters. Thank you Netgalley for approving an ARC of this for me!

So good! I love how many books with transmasc protagonists are coming out. It makes me wish there were more like this when I was young. I know I and many others would have benefitted from them and that they will help the next generation a ton.

3.5 stars | This is an important story for someone, I can already feel it. Somebody will see themselves in this book, in the characters, and feel seen and at home. That’s something incredibly special, and although I had some personal gripes with the pacing and wasn't very engaged until the second half of the novel, I still cried several times while reading and I still believe this is a solid debut and I'm SO excited to see that it exists in our world. In the end, a lovely story and I do plan on purchasing a hard copy when it comes out. Definitely an own-voices read I'd recommend. Thank you NetGalley for the ARC!

With that said, I do think this book could and will be really important to trans readers. It definitely felt personal to the author and I really liked how honest and raw the book was. I will say that I had a few issues with it that I'm not really sure how to articulate. I think the ending felt rushed. I was flipping my e-arc looking for more pages. I also felt like the breakup between Zoe and Dean wasn't addressed fully. I wish there had been more to the discussion about their relationship at the end; it wrapped up a little too quickly. I also felt that there were too many characters and in the beginning, I had a really hard time keeping track of them and each of their side stories. I love the found family trope and that this book used it, but I wish the family had been just a bit smaller so I could have felt more connected to each of the characters. (With that said, Ronnie is my absolute favorite and I would love to see an entire novel dedicated to him.)

Anyway, I did really like this! I appreciated that the issues within Dean's family weren't black and white and that his mom was changing toward the end. That stuff hit a little harder for me.

I definitely recommend this! I think some of my issues with it honestly are now coming down to my pickiness with YA. A book really has to have me connected to the characters more emotionally and has to *do more* for me to give it four or five stars and this just didn't have it for me. I think it'll be a really important book in 2021 and I hope it gets the hype it deserves!

This book is so beautiful it hurts. From the very first second, I knew Dean was going to settle behind my heart and chip away at me long after I had finished reading. And he did. The changes that Dean is enduring his senior year in high school after being cast as Romeo in the school play, and beginning a swift but long-time contemplation of who he is and who he wants to be are poignant and beautifully rendered. Despite moments of dread and sadness that made my chest feel tight, this book is about hope and new beginnings and I know that without a doubt that not only will this book be important to teens who will see themselves in Dean, but is the kind of book that changes (and saves) lives. The friends Dean is surrounded by (hi let’s talk about Ronnie and Jared and Jade, who absolutely STOLE MY HEART) make you smile and wish that we all had these people in our lives, but are particularly grateful that Dean is. Just a beautiful, beautiful debut that I will hold dear for years to come.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for a free advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.

CW: unsafe binding with duct tape, mention of death by suicide *not graphic*, transphobia, violence, fighting, deadnaming (name is not mentioned) and misgendering, outting, imposter syndrome, break-up, talk of hormones & testosterone, safe binding, unaccepting parent, feeling of body & social dysphoria on-page at 87%.

Dean Foster must be protected at all costs. I saw myself in Dean A LOT as we both have a similar coming out story and are both skater boi's. Coming out after you're already out as a lesbian is an experience that I connect to and Dean's experience made me feel very comfortable and seen. He thought his coming out was over until he gets cast as Romeo in his high school's production of Romeo and Juliet and feelings of gender rise to the surface.

The feelings of dysphoria after realizing you're probably trans are SO REAL. Dean's experience of body dysphoria and imposter syndrome resonated with me and made me think back to my memories from the beginning of my transition. Between Perfect and Real is a great depiction of the trans male experience & coming of age story through the themes of Romeo and Juliet. Watching hours of YouTube and scrolling through trans Reddit pages are very real times in a trans man's life.

I loved Ronnie and Jared. Ronnie was a really great friend to Dean and he was someone I wished I had when I had first come out. I loved Ronnie, Jared, and Dean's dynamic toward the end of the novel and how they all hung out at a skatepark!! Dean is a SKATER BOI! Ronnie helped Dean a lot and Dean returned the favor when Ronnie is dealing with the unacceptance from his parents about pursuing fashion school.

I also liked how transphobia was handled and challenged. Dean did not take any off-hand comments from anyone including those closest to him. I also loved the support group aspect of the novel and how Dean made trans and gender non-conforming friends. Another aspect I could really relate to, seriously Dean's story was so similar to my own.

There's a robot analogy that was SO GOOD and depicted the disassociation parts of dysphoria where you feel like a robot version of yourself.

The only minor flaw I have is that I never read a scene where Dean takes off his binder (unless I missed it?). I'm just a little wary about whether he was sleeping in it or not - which is dangerous and forbidden.

Overall, I really cherished Dean's story and it's definitely one of my favorites. As a theater fan, I really loved seeing a trans character be the star of the show and have an amazing teacher, Mr. Harrsion to come to when things hit the fan. Would recommend!

I just finished this and I'm bawling my eyes out. I swear this book isn't fiction, it just my own senior year of highschool. Just replace Dean being an acting student struggling with playing a male role while closeted, with me being an art student struggling with self portraits. And I don't wanna get to deep into my family life, but its almost exactly lile Dean's. Dean's mom is literally my own, I actually had a really hard time reading scenes with her because it all just felt like my memories. And so many other things felt so familiar like the sneaking out to support group, sending binders to a friends house, not being able to go to my dream school. I swear I just read a book of my life. I'm just wrecked right now, I relate to alot of trans books but this one I relate to the point of it just being my biography. This book is definitely getting put on the list of books I recommend for trans teens to read. Its just so heartfelt and raw and real.
Thank you @abramskids for sending me this ARC and to @jamesrowanray for writing it!
Releases April 13, 2021
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Trans ftm representation, side lesbian, bisexual, gay ,nonbinary, mtf representation
Own Voices
CW: deadnaming, misgendering, transphobia, homophobia, bullying, coming out, unsafe binding, breakups, assault

this book is going to mean a lot to someone one day.

i feel like i could say that for many (every) lgbtq+ book i read. but it’s worth saying. this book is going to mean a lot to someone one day, and i’m so glad it exists.

between perfect and real introduces us to dean who just wants to be himself as he is: a trans guy. but he is still trying to figure out how to do that, and what it means for him. it’s a story about coming into who you are, while coming out to others. about how dean had to perform every day of his life, until he is cast as romeo in the school play and for the first time feels like he isn’t acting.

this book had me from the first page, the first lines of the first chapter. and knowing that a kid out there one day can pick this up and see their thoughts on page and know that they’re not alone? that what they’re thinking matters? that’s so important. and it’s important that cis people (such as myself) are able to read these words and empathize as well.

a quick list of other things i enjoyed about this book: a cast diverse in sexuality and race! teenage characters that feel like teenagers! senior year stresses that i don’t miss at all! high school theatre that i miss everyday! theatre kids playing zip zap zop which is so integral to every theatre class!

other notes: this is stoeve’s ya debut, and it does at times come across as a debut novel in the witting. however, i look forward to stoeve’s growth and expect great work from them in the future!

This is an engaging story of a trans boy figuring out his gender identity, coming out, navigating a not-so-accepting environment (mostly of ignorance) and beginning to find his place in a local trans community. I have no doubt that this book will resonate with both trans/questioning readers and readers who would like to develop more understanding and empathy towards the struggles of some trans youth. However, this book was a but disappointing for me personally. Overall, I'd rate it 3.5 stars but I'll round up to 4.

Praise:
- I was definitely hooked in once I started reading; I think I finished the book in two sittings, soon after starting it.

- I love the premise of a high school play, with inhabiting a male role being the catalyst for Dean truly coming to terms with his gender identity.

- Transness was dealt with realistically. There are some details that feel very true-to-life, and I don't know if the author was drawing on their own experiences or the experiences of others in the trans community, but I appreciated it. For example, there's sensitivity shown in the fact that Dean's birthname isn't written out, and there's relatability regarding Dean watching trans youtubers.

Critique:

- I didn't find most of the secondary or tertiary characters to be particularly developed. I'm honestly having difficulty remembering a lot of their names. Perhaps this reflects how much the story focuses on Dean, and how Dean is so in his own head, questioning and worrying and reflecting.

- The pacing at the back-end of the book felt a bit off. There's so much anticipation towards the performance of the play, but it fell a bit flat to me.

- This isn't necessarily a critique, but my perspective on how this book fits in the literary landscape. This book was much more upsetting/negative than I expected... between the bullying and harassment, the incompetence of Dean's school administrators, the tense dynamics and coming-out fallout in Dean's family, the backstory of an older trans person who committed suicide... Even though the ending is ultimately hopeful for Dean's future, this is not what I would consider a feel-good trans coming-of-age novel. That is not inherently a bad thing, of course. Readers who are going through, or once went through, struggles similar to Dean may find solace and solidarity in this story. However, there still isn't that much representation of trans protagonists, and it would be great to have more stories in which there isn't so much struggle directly related to transness.

Dean Foster knows he’s a trans guy. But to everyone else – his parents, his friends, and his classmates – Dean is a lesbian. When he auditions for the role of Lady Capulet in the school’s rendition of Romeo and Juliet senior year, he is surprised to find the director, Mr. Harrison, has cast him as Romeo. As rehearsal progresses, and the play allows Dean to realize more about himself, he wonders whether should stay in the closet until college, which was his plan, or come out sooner. Can playing a character, performing on stage, help Dean realize who he wants to be, and strive to make it known? I guess we’ll have to wait for act three.

I just want to say that I’m glad this book, and others the center teen trans identity, are being written and can be found by people who are searching to see themselves represented in literature. Dean’s journey through understanding his identity, finding those who understand his struggles, and knowing those who love him will fight against hate was lovely to read about. The struggle to get through to his mother, who we find does not accept his true self, perhaps due to closed-minded upbringing, was heartbreaking, but I cheered Dean on as he defended himself, and fought back against his dad who wanted to be complacent on the matter in order to keep peace in their house. Not only that, but this book also explores the uncertainty about the future that comes from senior year of college – you can make all these plans, and can hope to stay in touch with those closest to you now, but one moment can change the future and throw you plans out the window. Dean’s friendship group was strong, and protected him against harm that resulted from classmates unacceptance, while also respecting his decisions and gave him the space to think things through to figure out what is best for him. I loved how there is so much emphasis on giving yourself time to figure things out – teens, especially those heading off to college, are expected to have all the answers to their future, and while some do follow through others pursue paths that they had never planned on following, and that’s perfectly ok. Dean may not have all the answers at the end of this book, not even a definitive answer about if he wants to starts testosterone, but he’s found people who will support him no matter what, and help him through making tough decisions about his future. I was rooting for him the entire time.

Lightly, though distinctly, this book also discusses the unequal treatment provided by law enforcement officials. When theater teacher and play director, Mr. Harrison, approaches Dean, and tells him that he could choose to report Blake to police for his actions of physical violence and hurtful language, it sparks a conversation among Dean and his friends about the unfair treatment towards BIPOC and queer individuals by police. They say that since Blake is “straight and white,” he might not get punished, and if he does it won’t be severely and it will just make him hate Dean even more. Dean also remembers a time when he and his best friend Ronnie, who is Black, were followed around the mall by security guards, and when Ronnie left to find a bathroom they chose to follow him. With movements that have garnered national and international attention regarding racial inequality by police spanning the last few years, I found the discussion significant.

All in all, I think no matter your identity, you can appreciate Dean’s story. It’s full of struggle, acceptance, independence, uncertainty, and figuring out your place in the world. As an ally of the trans community, I will continue to support media that shares their stories and allows their voices to be heard and spread to far away places. I think Ray Stoeve did an incredible job with their debut, I cannot wait to see what they do in the future. Please consider picking up Between Perfect and Real when it’s released next April, I highly recommend. **Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher, Amulet Books, for the e-copy, all thoughts and opinions are my own.**