I found Fragile, by Sarah Hilary, an enjoyably unnerving read, largely because of the nature of the characters. You’re never quite sure whose version of events to trust or what anyone’s true motives are. The story is told from the point of view of Nell, a highly unreliable narrator who’s constantly holding back from the reader, and Meagan, a thoroughly unpleasant character who I imagine was a lot of fun to write.

Meagan is the world’s worst former foster mum, who really didn’t have her charges’ best interests at heart or treat them with any degree of genuine kindness or fairness. She blames Nell for the ignominious end to her career, and isn’t going to let her just disappear. Meagan made reading this book a very tense experience, as you never quite knew when she was going to enter a scene and wreak havoc on the other characters’ emotions.

Nell, meanwhile, is hard to get a handle on. It’s clear that she’s very resourceful; when we first meet her, she’s blagging her way out of homelessness and into a housekeeping job for Dr Robin Wilder at Starling Villas, and throughout the book, we hear about how she acted as a ‘little mother’ at Meagan’s foster home by looking after the younger children and making meals and cakes.

You do feel sorry for Nell as you find out how she ended up in foster care, and realise that she makes herself useful in order to be accepted and guard against abandonment. You can tell she’s feeling lost without her beloved Joe, although he’s very much a lost soul himself, who finds himself pulled between various other characters. At the same time, though, you’re never quite sure what her intentions are, or what her true involvement was in the tragic event that precipitated her move to London from Wales.

Robin is also a tricky character; sometimes he’s rigid and cold with Nell, and other times he shows a warmer, more caring side. You’re not sure what his motivations are either. When Nell arrives at Starling Villas, he claims she’ll be working for only him, but is that true? Does he have ulterior motives for hiring her? What happened to his last housekeeper? And what does he do, exactly? You’ll have to read the book to find out!

Starling Villas is like a slippery character in itself, by turns dark and unsettling, and fascinating and homely, particularly as Nell makes the space in the attic her own. The house is full of mysterious and archaic objects, and the ways the characters interact with them bring the house to vivid life.

Fragile is an unnerving, dark and tense modern Gothic novel.

Sarah Hilary’s Marnie Rome series is one of the few that I am up to date with and I am a huge fan of her writing and her characters so was looking forward to reading Fragile which is a standalone novel. A few days after finishing it I am still trying to understand my feelings regarding the characters. All of them have given me something to think about. The title of the novel is the best way I have of describing all of them.

There aren’t many characters in the novel but all of them had an impact, especially the women. Nell featured more than Meaghan and Carolyn but I found that every time each of them appeared I found myself analysing them and trying to work out what damage they had caused but also how they had suffered due to others. I tried not to judge but with at least one of the characters it was difficult.

There was an often overwhelming sense of pain and loneliness evident from all of them. This doesn’t make it a depressing novel, but it did make me think about how many in our ‘care’ system are damaged by the ones who have the power to make a difference. Unfortunately much of the storyline is sadly believable and I dread to think what some children in care go through and the reasons why they are there.

Fragile isn’t a quick read but it is a mesmerising one and the author has proven that she is just as good as writing standalone fiction as well as her series. This reader is certainly looking forward to what will be next.

Nell, is a runaway and takes lodgings at Starling Villas working as a housekeeper, following rigid rules from her employer. Nell finds out that her employer is hiding secrets however, her arrival at Starling Villas was not a coincidence.

This book is very dark and mysterious and I was able to read most of it within one day.

I felt that not much happened in the plot however, Hilary slowly builds on tension and reveals the motives of the characters, making me keep reading to find out what happened. The plot does become more fast paced, particularly in the last 25%. I liked how Hilary writes from past and present tense to reveal details from Nell's early years. as she was a very intriguing character and a slightly unreliable narrator.

Please be aware that this book does include some difficult topics such as child abuse, drug dependency, sexual abuse and death.

A huge thank you to Netgalley and Pan Macmillan for a copy of this book in exchange for my honest and unedited feedback.

I loved that this book had a gothic feel from the beginning, with the carefully developed descriptions, especially of the Starling Villas. It definitely hooks you in and makes the book an original and dark read.

Sarah Hilary clearly has a talent for building believable yet dark worlds, and well-drawn and complex characters.

Nell is a complex and empathetic character. Despite clearly being somewhat manipulative, obsessive, you might even say unhinged, and a very good liar, you can tell that deep down there is just a little girl that wants to be loved.

This is a complex story that explores lots of issues, the most impactful for me being the effect that a disrupted and damaged childhood can have on our psyche and life at adulthood.

Overall, this was a compelling, dark and atmospheric read which I thoroughly enjoyed. I think this author is extremely talented and I am definitely going to go and check out more of her books.

I have to confess that it did take me a little while to settle into the writing style of Sarah Hilary's new standalone thriller Fragile as it's fair to say that it's completely different to her Marnie Rome series which I have previously enjoyed. It's a gothic and intense read that really gets under the reader's skin.

When we first meet Nell she is watching a house in central London and she's trying to come up with a plan to get inside but the reasons as to why are initially unknown. It's only through flashbacks to events of the past and information that comes to light in the present day that we get to understand more as to what is the driving force behind Nell's actions. But the more that is revealed, the more it becomes clear that things are not as straight forward as first anticipated.

Nell hadn't had the easiest of upbringings, rejected by her mother when she was young and placed into the foster care system. But sadly for her it wasn't the loving home she deserved, instead she was severely neglected and had to grow up well before her time taking on far more responsibilities than any child should.

The descriptive writing of Starling Villas made it feel just as much of a character as the rest of the flawed characters, Nell, Dr Wilder and the other characters that feature within this brooding story. It's hard to say much more about the plotline without spoiling the enjoyment of reading for others.

Fragile was certainly different to anything else I've read in recent years, it's a dark and creepy tale featuring love, obsession and revenge at its core that had me racing through the chapters wondering how it was all going to play out.

📚 BOOK REVIEW - Fragile By Sarah Hilary. published 10th June 2021.

This story starts around two main characters- Nell & Joe. They both were in foster care in the same house. The story starts in the present day, when Nell gets herself a job as a housekeeper. We also get an insight into the past from their Foster mum and we hear about a little girl calledRosie.
Nell will do anything for Joe.
I did like the character Nell. I just wanted her to do well in life, as she had a really hard start!
Strayed a little from my normal kind of book with this one but I did enjoy it.


#macmillan #sarahhilary #netgalley #bookstagramshaz

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"I might wish Meagan in my past, outclassed and outpaced, but she was out there - looking for me. Hunting me, because of what I'd done. Everything I'd done."

Mysterious, sinister and full of foreboding, Fragile is a story where nothing is quite what it seems. After fleeing her foster home, when Nell finds employment at Starling Villas she hopes she’s found her safe haven. But she soon starts to wonder if her employer is all that he appears to be. But as Nell attempts to unravel the secrets of her new home, her past is catching up with her, threatening to shatter her fragile new-found safety.

Tense, eerie and compelling, this story crackles with suspense. It had me hooked, pulling me under like I was drowning, unable to break free from its hold and reach the surface. The author explores themes of secrets, darkness, shadows, jealousy and vengeance in every facet of the book, using it in both the plot and the characters themselves, skillfully weaving in hidden layers and surprising twists. Using flashbacks she offers the reader pieces of the puzzle, allowing us to try and put it all together. But I found this to be a perplexing tale that was hard to solve and was taken in by many of the perfectly placed red herrings.

"Lyle's had been held up as an example of how to run a good foster home. Until Little Nell decided to bring it all crashing down."

The story is told by two narrators, Nell Ballard and her former foster mother Meagan Flack. Nell’s tough exterior hides a deep vulnerability and pain. Her childhood was far from happy and things didn’t improve when she arrived at her foster home aged eight. Her only real joy were two of the other foster children, but a tragedy that is shrouded in mystery and secrecy has tinged even that with heartache and left her feeling unworthy of happiness. But for all her faults I liked Nell and had a soft spot for her after all she’d been through. Meanwhile Meagan is an immediately unlikeable character. She is a woman consumed by hatred, lacking empathy or compassion. All she wants is revenge on the girl she calls Little Nell for bringing her carefully constructed house of cards crashing down. It broke my heart to think of this person being in charge of the care of such vulnerable and fractured children and the additional damage she will have caused them.

The other characters were just as well-written, fascinating and full of mystery; particularly Nell’s employer Dr Robin Wilder and his wife Carolyn. The Wilders and their home, Starling Villas, have an ominous and unsettling air about them. Carolyn in particular struck me as a coiled viper just waiting for the right time to strike. There was something calculated, cold and conniving about her and, like Nell, I didn’t like or trust her from the start. Robin was more of an enigma, his true character hidden like the secrets in his boxes.

Chilling, menacing and deftly told, this was a fantastic psychological thriller with a gothic twist. And that ending! Wow. I still have goosebumps. Fans of the genre will love this one for sure.

Nell had been living in care since she was 8 years old, a crumbling neglected home ran by Meagan Flack. 10 years later a tragic event forces Nell and her boyfriend Joe to runaway to London and escape the home the institutional home they had both been living in. London doesn’t turn out to be all glitter and gold, and after 6 months of sofa surfing, Nell and Joe find themselves sleeping on the streets doing anything to survive. One night Joe disapears, lured away from a bar by an attractive blonde woman in a black trenchcoat. Nell is overcome with when he doesn’t return.

Joe’s disapearance prompts Nell to take up a job as a housekeeper for Dr Robin Wilder at Starling Villas, a house so inconspicuous you could walk by it in the street and not give it a second. But secrets lie behind the front door of Starling Villas along with layers of dust and enough cradboard boxes of files and papers to put a hoarder to shame. Dr Wilder is a handsome yet brooding who lives his life by a rigid routine that Nell must adhere to. She cooks his breakfast exactly how he likes it, at the exact time he likes to eat, she cleans routinely and uses newspaper and vinegar on the mirrors, just the way he likes it. As the two of them seem to fall into a rhythm of co-exsisting a shock comes though when a woman proclaiming to be Dr Wilder’s wife Carolyn walks through the front door, and Nell is left frozen with shock when she recognises her as the woman who lured Joe from the bar the night he went missing. This begins a game of cat and mouse between Nell and Carolyn as both know more about each other than they proclaim. When a second shock arrival at Starling Villas rocks Nell she knows that if she wants to survive she has to use the skills she picked up in her time throughout foster care, because Nell is smart, resourceful and will do anything for the man she loves.

Fragile is one of those books that is stunningly beautiful yet darkly disturbing at the one time. This book is all kinds of messed up, creepy and uncomfortable and when it wasn’t making me squirm it was sending a chill down my spine. The descriptive prose has every sense on high alert, this teamed with the strong imagary has you right there in the midst of Starling Villas as Sarah Hilary sets the scene perfectly. The first half of the book is all about setting the scene and development of characters. I found it hard to connect with any of them, Hilary’s writing is cold and detached and I suspect this is deliberate to mirror the characters.

The quality of writing is superb, the storytelling is a well crafted web of suspense that tied the truth and lies intricately together, completly throwing me for a loop and off balance. Fragile as a whole is an entirely satisfying if extremely disconcerting read. If you like safe reads that keep you in in your comfort zone then this one isn’t for you however if you like to push your limits with a little something that will make you feel like you ants itching all over your skin, then give Fragile a try.

Unsettling, uncomfortable, creepy, disconcerting and outright disturbing, but must of all entertaining.

EXCERPT: 'Rosie,' I thought. 'Little, little Rosie.'

It was so cold the night she disappeared, the night I stayed, looking for her. A shiver of stars crept across the lake but it was too dark to separate sky from mountains, or mountains from slag heaps. Waiting for the first breath of dawn to stir in the darkness like an animal waking. The lake breathed at my feet as if it too were sleeping and might wake. All night I stayed, my eyes open on the water. When the first clouds covered the stars, the lake turned grey. So grey I could have reached out and twitched it away, caught it in my fingers and pulled and pulled until it was all gone, except what lay under the surface, also curled, as if asleep. I'd lost everything. Not only at the lake two summers ago, but here and now, in Starling Villas. Everything I'd worked so hard to make, this small happiness, the frail living I'd scratched for myself under his roof. All lost.

ABOUT 'FRAGILE': Everything she touches breaks . . .

Nell Ballard is a runaway. A former foster child with a dark secret she is desperate to keep, all Nell wants is to find a place she can belong.

So when a job comes up at Starling Villas, home to the enigmatic Robin Wilder, she seizes the opportunity with both hands.

Only her new lodgings may not be the safe haven that she was hoping for. Her employer lives by a set of rigid rules and she soon sees that he is hiding secrets of his own.

But is Nell’s arrival at the Villas really the coincidence it seems? After all, she knows more than most how fragile people can be – and how easy they can be to break . . .

MY THOUGHTS: She can run, but she can't hide. Especially not from herself. Guilt, shame and regret are her shadow.

Nell thinks that by running away to London, she and Joe can leave their old selves behind, shed the tragedy of Rosie's disappearance. Instead, when Joe bails out on her, Nell (Death Knell as Meagan Flack calls her) is caught up in a web of lies, deceit, and manipulation. She is unable to shed her past, which continues to haunt her, and it seems that the future she has planned for herself in a place she thought she could call home may not turn out to be too much different from her past.

Fragile is a grim story. Disturbing. A story of children abandoned for various reasons, flung together in a foster home where their carer, Meagan Flack, wasn't in the habit of making happy memories for her charges. A home where those who ought to have been cared for, were doing the caring. It is a story of greed, and abuse at many levels. It is a story of the children who fall through the cracks, who live in fear. Continuing to fear Meagan, even after they have fled her, knowing that she will never forgive them, never forget.

It is made all the more dark and disturbing by the beautiful writing. 'Fear was everywhere in Starling Villas now. Not hiding any longer, but sitting in the sun like a cat, stretching as the sky stretched, greedy for its heat.'

The story is told over two timelines, now at Starling Villas, London, and then at the foster home in Bala, Wales. The story of Rosie's disappearance is cleverly eked out, so that we don't learn what actually happened to her until the very end. We are fed snippets of information, teased and tormented by the mystery.

I can't say that I enjoyed Fragile. I don't think that it was written to be enjoyed, but it certainly hit its mark with me. It is heartbreaking. It is sad. It tore at my sensibilities. It is beautifully written, and gut wrenching.

⭐⭐⭐⭐.1

#Fragile #NetGalley

I: @sarah_hilary999 @panmacmillan

T: @Sarah_Hilary @PanMacmillan

#contemporaryfiction #mystery #psychologicalthriller

THE AUTHOR: Sarah Hilary is a UK crime novelist and former bookseller.

DISCLOSURE: Thank you to Pan Macmillan via Netgalley for providing a digital ARC of Fragile by Sarah Hilary for review. All opinions expressed in this review are entirely my own personal opinions.

For an explanation of my rating system please refer to my Goodreads.com profile page or the about page on sandysbookaday.wordpress.com

This review and others are also published on Twitter, Amazon, Instagram and my webpage

Upon reading this synopsis, I though that this was going to be the perfect book for me and that I would instantly love it. However, I really struggled to get into the book.

I really enjoyed the author's writing, but not so much the storyline.

I wasn't intrigued and unfortunately, this book fell flat for me.

A dark, disturbing yet compelling story that will keep you guessing. Uncomfortable in parts: the main character is well drawn and likeable and you really feel something bad is going to happen to her.

It's a slow burner, not a page turner, but not worse for being that.

After you've read it, it will stay on your mind for some time - and for me, that's the essence of a well-written story.

I’ve been a fan of Sarah Hilary’s Marnie Rome crime series throughout however this standalone thriller is very different. The only thing that is the same is the author’s excellent style of writing and prose.

With the early part of the story set in North Wales but mostly located in London, Fragile is a dark unsettling thriller featuring two lost souls – Nell and Joe. Both are foster children with a difficult background and neither have known real love. Their foster mother Meagan Flack was as far from a mother as anyone could be – in fact Nell was more of a mother and caregiver to the other children, doing the work that Meagan should have done. When tragedy later strikes the home, Nell and Joe flee to London, along with their demons, but then Nell loses sight of Joe, she sees him going into a house – Starling Villas, but not come out. In an attempt to find him, she talks her way into a job as housekeeper to Dr Robin Wilder JP at the Villas – Wilder is a studious and oddly mannered man, with strict routines and rotas that she must follow.

Starling Villas is a character on its own. Dark, brooding and unforgiving, this narrow building with its many boxes, attic rooms and orchids holds the secrets of Robin Wilder and his toxic and manipulative wife Caroline. There were times when I really worried for Nell – despite living on the streets and having had a brutal and hard introduction to London life, she had a vulnerability about her and it was unclear what the Wilders had in store for her.

The characters here are complex and I admit I found it hard at times to differentiate between imagination and reality.

Guilt, revenge, control, jealousy, cruelty – there are many themes running through this chilling atmospheric and suspenseful story. Hilary’s writing is rich with description and intensity and it has a poetic quality which gives life to these broken characters.

Fragile is beautifully written, full of tension and makes for a compelling read. A character driven thriller that will give you chills.

This is the first of Sarah Hilary’s books that I have read, and can I just say, her writing is like no other. What a hauntingly beautiful and compelling journey this book took me on.

I will say, if you are looking for a fast paced thriller with twists and turns at every corner, this is not that book. This book is ultimately a character driven journey, an evocative and forensically immersive experience into the fragility of Nell, Joe, The Wilders and Meagan Flack. It is full of secrets, betrayal, heartache, and grief, and insinuates itself into your very core.

An incredibly complex and multilayered plot, the characterisation was utterly exquisite. None of the characters were very likeable, but oh were they damaged, so emotionally destroyed you can’t help but be invested in their individual journeys.

This was a slow paced book, full of intrigue and sadness, and that ending…. well, I suspect my heart will ache for some time to come 🖤

“Oh what a tangled web we weave, When first we practise to deceive!” Marmion by Sir Walter Scott

Nell lived in a home where she quickly learnt to be useful to Meagan Flack, the woman who ran it. She meets Joe at the home and they become attached. All was going well.

Ten years after Nell arrived at Meagan Flack’s house, now eighteen, she is in London with Joe. They’re living on the streets.

On a night out Joe picks up a women, he doesn’t return to Nell. Concerned Nell goes looking for Joe only to find a rather unusual narrow house – Starling Villas – tucked away unseen. By chance and with some luck Nell hears of a vacancy at the house. She brazenly weasels her way in.

Nell has cultivated, through necessity, a way of surviving that no youngster should need to especially to the degree, with the acceptance and understanding that she has. She has learnt how to survive but that doesn’t mean she isn’t vulnerable, she is.

Joe good looking, charming and willing to do anything for an easy life. It’s how he survived at Megan’s. It’s what keeps him off the streets for a night. It’s what drives him into a decision that will put Nell into danger.

Nell and Joe should have had better care, been given opportunities but life one way or another dealt them a difficult hand and in an overloaded system if something looks good there’s no point in delving too deeply to make sure it actually is what it appears to be.

Still when people like Meagan Flack – manipulative, selfish, greedy – get into the care system, in positions of power and building a good reputation, albeit false, how does the system realise and, then, deal with these people? Sometimes it can’t, sometimes it doesn’t until it too late.

Meagan Flack – manipulating, greedy, selfish, lazy and controlling. Nell learnt from the best but she couldn’t control everything. She left, taking Joe with her. Now Meagan Flack hates her, blames her for what happened and wants revenge.

What drove Nell and Joe to get away from Meagan Flacks home? Why does Meagan want revenge? Does Nell find out where Joe went? What will happen to Nell in Starting Villas?

This is an engrossing read. It’s a story that will have you loving Nell one moment, hating her the next. This is a tragic story on many levels. It is a book that demonstrates just how good Sarah Hilary’s writing and storytelling is. Oh, yes, those of us who have read any of Sarah Hilary’s Marnie books know she’s good, knows she can write and now, with Fragile, it’s just gone to a whole new level.

*******
I have previously reviewed Come and Find Me by Sarah Hilary.

*******
Thanks: To PanMacmillan via NetGalley for an eCopy of Fragile by Sarah Hilary in return for an honest review. All thoughts are my own and no payment has been received.

A good read, with a story which develops its strength the more you read - 3/4 of the way in and I just had to keep going until I finished!

This book is about vulnerability and fragility. Nell grew up in foster care, and we can see the damage that has been wrought to her. She finds herself in a new job as housekeeper to a rather strange man, with many rules she has to follow, yet her past can't escape her and is soon chasing her down.

The main action takes place in the space of just a few weeks, which seemed a bit unrealistic to the story - however this didn't particularly detract from the story, which has a broad variety of characters and a lot of emotion.

This book had me absorbed from the minute I picked it up to when I put it back down again!
I enjoyed the descriptive nature of the locations; being able to picture scenes is one of the things I like most about a book, then I can read the book almost like I’m watching a movie and this was done well in this book.
I loved the sense of creep and mystery throughout, especially in the first half of the book when it’s building up tension in the plot. It was difficult to like the characters but I think that’s the point of this book as they’re so toxic and I likeable but you are without a doubt in the mix with them from the start.
I do like the dark twisted side to this novel, with the psychological element keeping you on the edge of reality watching the power play run it’s course and see who survives. I enjoyed this book and am very grateful for getting to read it!

Fragile is a hard-hitting and emotional standalone psychological thriller with a rich gothic slant from award-winning crime writer Sarah Hilary. Nell Ballard was 8 years old when her mother abandoned her and it has impacted her life ever since. Her situation began to look more positive when she was placed in the foster home of a woman named Meagan Flack in North Wales, and as it wasn't her first rodeo caring for children rejected by their birth parents, Nell had hope. But it doesn't take long for Nell to realise that Meagan is one of those women who couldn't care less about the children’s welfare only about the money it could bring her despite them needing a safe space, a place to call home and unconditional love more than any material wealth it could furnish the family. This led to her becoming the surrogate to her foster siblings as Meagan is simply not interested. In her desperate search for identity and belonging, she falls in love with 17-year-old runaway Joe Peach, a beautiful soul who is living with addiction, but after a tragedy unfolds they find themselves dishevelled and living each day as it comes on the harsh streets of London having left their foster home once and for all. But Joe cannot be relied upon and as with many addicts, everything around them is there to be manipulated in order to score their next fix. As she tries to escape her past, Nell begins a new job as a housekeeper at the creepy and chilling Starling Villas, working for an eccentric recluse, Doctor Robin Wilder.

Wilder is an idiosyncratic, middle-aged man who lives by an exacting set of rules and expects the same from Nell. She works all the hours God sends but just as she begins to find her place, Robin's manipulative and controlling ex-wife, Carolyn, arrives. And the situation goes from bad to worst. This is a compelling and hauntingly beautiful novel exploring the omnipresent feelings of guilt and blame foster kids feel and the impact it has on their lives. Dark, deeply atmospheric and ripe with simmering suspense, Hilary’s signature attention to detail and her psychological insight make for riveting reading. With shades of Rebecca and Patricia Highsmith’s novels, Fragile is a story that entranced me from the outset. It’s disturbing and unsettling but with a vein of hope and fragility running through it and tenderness, too. This is character-driven storytelling at its finest with all the twists and turns, drama and tension necessary to have you totally gripped. The characterisation is incredible, although most are highly unlikeable, chaotic, damaged, selfish individuals who have brought children into the world without the means to care for them or are supposed to have given them sanctuary, but they are certainly believable and reflect real life. I found the switching between Nell’s narration and Meagan’s third-person perspective seamless and an engrossing way in which to tell the story with its abundance of secrets, lies, desire for revenge, loss, deceit and grief. Highly recommended.

First off can we just take a moment to discuss the cover? This was absolutely perfect for this story.. but even before you read the book just wow! The colour, the most perfectly fragile orchids and then that misty hand in the background.. stunning!

Right now onto the actual inside 🤣

This is what you'd definitely call a page turner. A tale of lost childhood that literally breathes emotion. As we've come to know from Sarah Hilary's writing style you will feel EVERYTHING, you will be walking in Nell's (main character) shoes and living her life as a shadow next to her.

A heartwrenching sad story that is easily devoured in one sitting.

Just a fantastic read that will sit on your shoulders for hours if not days afterwards.

4.5*

Huge thanks to netgalley and Pan Macmillan for the ARC.

Thanks to NetGalley and Pan Macmillan for the eARC of this title, in exchange for review.

I requested to read this as I love crime fiction and have enjoyed the Marnie Rome books by Sarah Hilary in the past. I was pleased to see that this was a standalone novel. That said, I wonder if I would have requested to read this on description alone/ by an author I'd not heard of?

Teenage runaway Nell is looking for her (ex?) Boyfriend Joe. He was last seen disappearing into the building we come to know as Starling Villas, having been taken home there from a nightclub by a mystery glamorous blonde -femme fatale

Nell seeks to find a way in herself and as it would happen there's a vacancy for a PA/housekeeper to the owner, magistrate Dr Robin Wilder. There is an immediate frisson between the two of them, or Nell is good at intuiting what people want to hear, talking her way into bed and board.

Nell and Joe are both running away from the care home in which they grew up together. Run by Meagan, who fulfills every foster mother Miss Hannigan cliche: sleeping pills, cider and cigs are all she cares about. The kiddies under her roof allow her to afford these vices, justabout. Oldest child Nell takes on the role of cook, cleaner and substitute mother from the moment she arrives there, age 8.

We learn about an incident which led to the closure of the foster home, the disappearance and presumed death of little 6-year old Rosie. By then Nell was 15 with "fresh curves" and a scorching summer sees the kids (Nell, Joe and Rosie) drawn to a local slate quarry with a refreshing pool. One of their excursions sees little Rosie not returning...
Meagan covers it up, Nell and Joe's relationship becomes toxic until they can no longer bear it and have to escape to London.

I struggled to enjoy this book. I found the characters flat and unlikeable. The skipping around in the narrative meant I found the timeline of events (the "before” /backstory) difficult to get a grasp of. Also events at the house happen over the course of just a few days?
I had no idea who Nell was. At the start we believe that she is looking for Joe... because she wants him back - they are in love(first love/lust)? But on meeting Wilder she instantly falls for him? Except growing up in care she has also learned to be hard hearted and only depend upon herself?
Other things didn't hang together for me, Nell -missing out on so much school as she was needed to run the home - daydreams about running away with Joe to Bouvet Island. Sorry, but I needed to look that one up. Another scene had Nell making an omelette for Wilder (one of the quickest things you can cook?), while managing to knock up a fruit cake in some spare time? ...A LOT of eggs get eaten in this book

Nell lives in a loveless foster home. At far too young she is given responsibility by Meagan, her foster mother, to run the house and look after the smaller children. One child, Rosie calls Nell her Mummy and coupled with her boyfriend Joe they are a family of sorts. Until one day, it all goes wrong and Nell and Joe run away to London. Living rough, they encounter a Dr Wilder and his wife. Have the jumped the frying pan into the fire? And can Nell live with the guilt of her past?

I really enjoyed the author’s style of writing . She has a beautiful turn of phrase and use of descriptive imagery. I can’t say I enjoyed the plot. It’s a depressing and uncomfortable read with characters that are unlikeable. I never quite felt I got the sense of what was going on and the pace was a little slow. I did think the ending was spot on for Nell and I enjoyed speculating what may have come next for her.

Thanks to the author, Pan Macmillan and Netgalley for an advanced copy of the book in exchange for an honest opinion.