This review has been taken from my goodreads, which has been linked below

" Although you can't control the world around you, you can control how much you want to do at any time "

I am not ace myself, so I came into this expecting to look at it from the point of view of someone who is looking to be educated on asexuality and the issues faced by someone who is on the ace spectrum. Hearing about the truly horrible ways that the author has been treated throughout their life was really emotional for me. I like to think I am relatively educated on this topic, so I knew the really unfortunate general view the world has of asexuality but some of the things that Burgess has heard made my head spin.
I also enjoyed that this also brought up the whole ace spectrum and what those different labels mean, and how even within those labels peoples experiences are wildly different.
This truly shines a light on how much this world pushes the narrative that a relationship and sex is the goal in life, and how that affects people who are not able to for one reason or another. This also talks about the authors experiences with panic attacks and OCD. These sections felt powerful, raw and sensitive. I often find that graphic memoirs aren't served by the medium, but I truly think How to be Ace uses it perfectly to get across feelings and situations.

I would definitely recommend this as a source for education on the Ace experience and I truly hope that this will be found by some people that may be struggling with questioning their identity.
Overall, a beautiful source about finding who you are and becoming okay with what you find.

Thank you to Jessica Kingsley Publishers and Singing Dragon for approving me for a copy for review via Netgalley

This book comes out tomorrow!! I think this is going to be a very important story for a lot of people. Rebecca burgess wrote a graphic novel memoir about her experience discovering her sexuality and learning more about herself and relationships, as well as dealing with OCD and going to therapy.

As someone who has recently started using the asexual label, I have really been interested in finding more stories involving asexual rep. I do experience romantic attraction, and I’m married, but have no interest in sex. I am lucky that I haven’t had too much of a struggle with my sexuality, but I have felt a lot of guilt, and felt like something is wrong with me.

How to be Ace was really great because of course the asexual rep, the OCD rep, and the artwork. I really enjoyed reading this story and I think it would make a big impact for anyone who sees them-self in this story but also be important for everyone to read and learn more about it. I think asexuality isn’t talked about too much and a lot of people don’t understand it, and I think it was explained really well here! Since it’s a graphic novel, it’s a quick read so I really recommend to pick this one up if you can!

I’m so glad more books like this are being published. I can’t imagine how different my life might had been if I had found out I was ace sooner. I was really glad that this discussed how there are many different ways to be ace, since I think there is a lot of similar stories/rep so far. I was also really grateful that it showed an ace relationship, as most books have one ace and one non-ace partner, and I don’t think I’ve ever read something that showed an ace/ace couple. I think this author did a good job of mixing memoir and information. The art style was not necessarily for me, but I think this is a graphic novel that will be vital for both ace and non-ace readers alike. I did also like that it touched on aromanticism, tho I wish it had talked a bit more, since ace and aro identities often get conflated.

Perhaps the most important thing about the title of Rebecca Burgess' new book <em>How to Be Ace: A Memoir of Growing Up Asexual</em> is the word memoir. This is by no means a guidebook for what it's like to be asexual. As with many things, there is no one way to experience something <em>especially</em> a sexuality. In the end, this is just Burgress' story.

<b>As a memoir</b>

I'm actually rather fond of memoirs. I appreciate them in any format, really, and graphic novels are definitely quite fun. Since <em>How to Be Ace</em> is a memoir, however, it's not exactly as educational as I maybe would have liked. Part of the reason I pick up books like this, after all, is to broaden my understanding of things I do not personally experience. And while this is certainly a great read, if you're looking for something more in-depth about Asexuality, this probably isn't the best book.

That said, Burgess does include a list of sources at the end of the book that are definitely worth checking out.

<u>You Can Learn</u>

Of course, this book wasn't meant to be wholly an educational resource. Instead, it's a look at various experiences the author has lived through as a result of being asexual. I think the most important takeaway <em>anyone</em> can leave this book with is understanding society has negatively impacted the ace community in many ways. One of the worst existing in the way these people are often overlooked.

You see, even within the LGBTQ+ community, there is an obscurity to this kind of sexuality that results in microaggressions and feelings of ostracization. And, at the end of the day, the world needs to progress to the point that mistreatment and obscuration of asexuals is no longer the norm. The best way to do that is with building awareness.

While this memoir is not going to educate everyone on all the aspects of asexuality, it is a great start to building awareness.

<b>As a Graphic Novel</b>

I loved the artwork in this. And perhaps I am biased as a result of my love of this book, but I think this format was the better one. I honestly don't think that the book could have been better in another format. There was so much to appreciate about the artwork, especially the way emotion was portrayed.

You spend pretty much the whole novel in Burgess' head, experiencing a brief look into the experiences Rebecca faced. It's certainly not everything, but there's definitely a lot to learn from reading this book.

<b>As a Story</b>

Books like Burgess' are so important, but they are not the only books on the topic you should read. One memoir is not going to educate anyone nearly enough on a subject they have not experienced for themselves. Even your own experiences likely won't be enough. While I loved reading this book, it's very clear to me that there is a lot more reading to be done on the subject matter that it addresses.

And that's a good thing. This is a great starting point. I hope to read much more in the future.

<em>I was provided a free copy of this book via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.</em>

This review will be live on the Reader Fox blog on October 21, 2020.

I got an ARC of this book.

I got super excited because ace rep. That was all I needed to get this book. I am ace and I so rarely see ace anything. I was really hoping that the Burgess could get the definition of ace right, since that is the main issue I have with ace rep. Burgess was able to do that so I was so happy. That was my main criteria for good rep, sadly.

Burgess mentions that asexuality is varied and there are different ways to be ace. She very much focuses on how she doesn’t want to have sex or do sexual things, that is how her asexuality works. That is not how my asexuality works, but she allowed for my asexuality to exist so I was still able to see myself and see different ways of being ace. So the ace rep was pretty awesome.

My biggest issue with the book is it feels like it is more about OCD and anxiety than it is about ace. So much of the book is about Burgess handling her mental health and learning to cope with things. I can get why they are intertwined, but it made it feel less like an ace memoir and more like a mental health one. It isn’t bad, but it isn’t what I was looking for. I wanted to see ace as the main identity and main focus of the book. So it being overshadowed by OCD (which I would have LOVED a full OCD memoir by Burgess. Her art and her story telling would have been fantastic for this) made me like this book less.

The art was great. I loved how personable it was and how it was approachable. I worried when I read that she was an art school person. Art can make or break a graphic novel. Thankfully Burgess’s art matches her story telling. It worked well together.

Overall, not a bad book, but not what I was really hoping for. It had the right definition of ace (and even allowed for kinky aces to exist!), but it felt like it focused more on OCD than on being ace.

I have always wanted to know a little bit more about asexuality and this graphic novel was very helpful for explaining it to me. Reading about Rebecca's story was very eye-opening and emotional. It made me feel so frustrated that people have to deal with these experiences and hurtful comments about who they are as a person, when how they choose to live doesn't even hurt other people. This book also turns love into a totally subjective thing because everybody has their own idea of what love is, and what love is to you might not be the same for another person but that doesn't mean their love is any less valid. I like how there were little educational bits after every chapter about what asexuality is, and that there were asexuality resources listed at the end of the book. Overall a really great story!

One thing I found distracting was the font choice because it was a bit blurry on my e-reader so I had a hard time reading the parts of Rebecca's background thoughts and descriptions such as when she shows the different asexual characters she has seen on TV before. Everything is much clearer if I read the file in colour on the computer but when it was on my Kobo the font got blurry.

I love the fact that there is more and more ace content! This graphic novel is a memoir of what growing up being ace is. It was sometimes hard to read because it hit too close to home but it should be mandatory.
Because this graphic novel educates the reader about asexuality. It's really well-made, the drawings are beautiful too!

The messages conveyed in how to be ace are so important! (about the importance of sex education in schools, about the sex-dominated society we live in, judgments, etc) It raise awareness and children and teens might feel, finally, aknowledged.

This was a great read! I’m not asexual, and I learned a lot from reading this graphic novel. I appreciate that the author was willing to share her story. I think that a lot of people will find it helpful, both those who were learning like I was and those who see themselves reflected in these pages.

I'm not typically a graphic novel person - I like the mental work of creating the imagery of a story in my mind - which is why I am surprised by how much I loved this book. In "How to Be Ace" Rebecca Burgess walks the reader through her personal experience as an asexual person. The narrative opens up the intersections of her romantic, sexual and mental health struggles as she makes peace with who she is and how she loves. At the end of each chapter she offers important insights into the broader ace experience. I loved the way that Burgess was vulnerable through imagery and text. Her art offered an important insight into her experience of OCD and understanding her ace identity. As a result of reading this book I feel like I better understand my ace friends and students. I highly recommend this quick read as a way to get to know another important perspective in the world.

*A copy of this text was provided to me by the publisher in exchange for an honest review*

A touching, frank, OwnVoices memoir from an ace woman about growing up asexual, and the experiences and barriers she’s encountered throughout her life in regards to that identity. It’s an informative read for anyone unfamiliar with asexuality, and I especially appreciated that each chapter ended with a short educational section. The utterly delightful illustrations tie this graphic novel up in a beautiful bow, making it an irresistibly enjoyable read. Thanks to NetGalley for the advanced copy!

This was so GREAT! And it made me feel so validated, and I absolutely loved it! There were some bits that I would have liked less of and some bits I would have liked more of, which is why this is a four star instead of a five star rating, but it was overall just so great to get a graphic novel memoir about being ace and seeing my own feeling and reactions to the world and people around me reflected in a story in this way.

i really really liked this. the art style is absolutely stunning and unique.

the book follows the author’s journey to finding out she’s ace and accepting herself. she’s also struggling with ocd. i’m reading more and more books about asexuality and i’m learning more more. i wish there were more books about this topic because i really think that if asexuality is a more known of sexuality, a lot of people will realise something about themselves they wouldn’t have discovered otherwise. i would really recommend this graphic memoir to anyone!

"How to Be Ace" tells Rebecca Burgess's personal story of discovering herself throughout her life. As a graphic novel, the illustrations do not overwhelm the dialogue and the chapters seamlessly blend together to describe Rebecca's journey. The author goes about the book exploring their own sexual identity, questioning if they are "normal" according to society, as well as dealing with OCD. Mental health is not very often mentioned when discussing LGBTQ topics, even though they can be interconnected. As someone who has questioned my own sexuality, I think this is a great read for middle and high school students who are curious about what asexuality is, not only for those questioning their sexual orientation.

I always enjoy reading books about the ACE experience. This a memoir story of a woman who is Ace and has some struggles with her middle health. It is an informational and inspiring story, the only issue is that I didn't with the story as much as I thought that I would, which is a let down for me, but not the author's fault. Overall, How to Be Ace is a story with great representation.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing an arc of this book in exchange for an honest review.

This book needs to be in the hands of kids. Not only to ensure that Ace kids can see themselves, but also to give non-ace people insight into asexuality.

This graphic novel is a memoir depicting the many stages of discoveries, struggles, and self-acceptance that Rebecca Burgess has gone through so far. This novel doesn’t claim to have all the answers, but the conversations it opens up are the heart of the story and I was very impressed. I also really enjoyed the ‘fact’ pages at the end of each chapter. These pages gave the opportunity for even more guided conversation.

Going into this story, I identify as Aromantic, and while that does fall under the asexual spectrum, I’ve never considered the anxiety that the social pressures of our sexuality obessed society can cause. I’ve walked away from this story with a new understanding of a new point of view and I really hope to see this graphic novel in classrooms and libraries.

Overall, How to Be Ace is achingly beautiful and accessible and the art is adorable and enhances the mood of each chapter very well.

I received an e-ARC via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

This was a really sweet, personal comic about the creator's experience of growing up asexual and coming to understand their sexuality. It also covers topics such as OCD and anxiety. I think this is a really great read for people who are on the aro or ace spectrum as there'll be a lot that they can relate to (the comic covers the frustrating lack of aro/ace representation in popular media, so the fact that this comic is being published by a mainstream publisher is incredible and such an encouraging step in the right direction for aro/ace visibility). I think it's also a great source to point people to who don't know anything about aromanticism or asexuality as these sexualities and experiences are explained in quite simple terms. On top of this, the art is really great too!

I received this book free from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

How to be Ace is a graphic memoir written and illustrated by Rebecca Burgess growing up and realizing her identity as Ace.

I can't explain how much I loved this graphic novel, how much the story talked to me, how much I identified with this book.

How to be Ace is a wonderful, funny, cute, moving and powerful book.

With this book, the author shows how an asexual person can feel when we live in a society that since childhood shows us that the "normal" is to have a relationship, to get married, that to have our "happy ending" we need to be with someone .

The author mentions the importance of sex education in schools and how the lack of it may have to lead to the use of other means such as films and tv shows. The big problem is the lack of Ace representation in these media.

Asexuality is one of the sexualities with less information, the author makes this explicit, and how this lack of information can be harmful to young people (and not only) who are discovering themselves.

The author also portrays very well how people react to asexuality, an aspect that I really liked.

I liked that at the end of each chapter there is a lot of information about asexuality and other sexualities, many of which are related to asexuality.

What surprised me the most was when I discovered that in addition to asexuality, this book also talks a lot about anxiety and ocd, which made me like and identify even more with the book.

This became my favorite graphic novel, with an incredible discovery story and beautiful illustrations.

What can I say more about this book?
Simply read! Belonging or not to this community, read!

Trigger warning: This book mentions bullying, anxiety, ocd, rape, sex and alcohol.

You can get your copy of How to be Ace on octuber 21st, just in time for Ace Week!

Thanks to Netgalley for providing me an arc in exchange of a honest review.

I'm a big fan of comic books/graphic novels and this one didn't disappoint. It was great to see representation of one of the lesser represented letters in the LGBTQIA+ spectrum. It's wonderfully drawn, easy to follow even if you're not a comics fan, easily digestible, understandable and super relatable.

As with most graphic novels it's not a long read and I think it would be really useful in educational environments to educate young people on asexuality in a way that they may hopefully connect with. There are a number of books popping up in this kind of vein and this is definitely one of the better ones. By connecting it directly to the personal experiences of the author it gives a really good perspective so it's not just a clinical representation of what asexuality means, rather a depiction of how people feel and experience their asexuality.

I'd recommend this to anyone who wants to know more about asexuality and whether you are aware of it or not, whether you are on the LGBTQIA+ spectrum or not. I'd also recommend it as a really good graphic novel on the merits of it's drawing and storytelling.

I received an e-ARC via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

<blockquote>
When you’re asexual,the pressure to be in sexual relationships is absolutely everywhere in subtle ways. For the asexuals not conforming to what’s being said, the message is loud and clear: you’re not an accomplished or healthy adult if you don’t have a relationship or good sex.
</blockquote>

The thing about the asexual experience is that it is a very lonely road to take and with barely any media that people could turn to it is very easy to feel alone and broken. Which is why this book is so very important. This is a memoir written by the author themselves and it shows us their lives from an early age till adulthood. It is not only about the asexual experience, but also touches upon mental health issues and on the hardships of life. I really appreciated that several other identities were mentioned which could be connected to asexuality, and there were examples given on how different asexuality can be from individual to individual. It is also often brought up from personal experience how other people can react negatively to someone who announces they are not very interested in sex. You would expect that at least LGBT+ circles are more understanding but this is not always the case.

The stories are loosely connected as we navigate through several years from teenage years to college and what follows after.

If you suspect that you might like the ace label for yourself or just have an interest in learning about this topic this is a great read.

More asexual recommendations are listed on my #ace-grace Goodreads shelf.

Huge thank you to NetGalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for providing me an ARC in exchange of a honest review.

This graphic memoir explores how Burgess came to understand that she's asexual and how she came to be okay with that label. There are about five medium-length chapters that explore her different stages of acceptance from secondary school through her first years out of uni. Each chapter ends with a one-page illustration that explains something about asexuality.

This memoir really captures the alone-ness that many ace individuals experience as people who aren't interested in sex. Hopefully if we have more people speaking out (and writing memoirs like Burgess), we'll have more novels and tv shows/movies with ace protagonists!