The book all white people should read!! We all know it is not acceptable to say "I'm not racist I have a black friend".. black people are not your "get out of jail free card". Now is the time to truly BE a friend, which means supporting anti racist movements, calling out discrimination, amplifying voices and advocating for change

A punchy, raw, uplifting book which should be in all local libraries.

The Black Friend is a non-fiction book that explores the experiences of being a black person in America, from the perspective of a white person. Joseph, a black man, writes about the microaggressions, stereotypes, and discrimination that he has faced throughout his life. He also provides advice to white people on how to be better allies to black people. An important read.

I was really looking forward to reading this after seeing so many positive reviews. Unfortunately, I couldn't get past the writer recommended the reader watches The Cosby Show so had to stop at 20%.

This is excellently pitched for the age range, and would likely do well being read by adults who are trying to start conversations about race with kids at home. Informative, without overwhelming, it's a great foundational text for young people looking to form their own opinions and beliefs.

Fantastic book that everyone should read. Really sheds light on the unnecessary racism that happens on a day to day basis for black people, from the subtle racism to the in your face racism. Definitely a recommended read for all to be able to change ways of thinkings and banish racism. As a white woman with a Nigerian partner, I have had my eyes opened to different elements of racism and now with our daughter being dual heritage this book will help me help her to navigate her way through society. Thank you Netgalley and Frederick Joseph for this arc.

While intended for teens, The Black Friend is a book I'll be recommending to adults as well. This is an almost perfect primer on anti-racism for white folks age 12 and up. There is a glossary defining common and important terms. Each chapter covers the basics of a core concept and includes a related personal anecdote of the author as well as a mini-interview with an important voice in the anti-racism movement. The seriousness of the topic is never belied but humor is adroitly used to create a tone of a friendly and personal conversation. At the end, there is a list of people to know, books to read, movies, and even a music playlist.

This book is a phenomenal read about race and the black experience for younger people.This is my first non-fiction review, but here goes.

This piece of non-fiction explores racism in America through a retelling of Frederick Joesph's experiences as a Black child (and then man) detailing everything from racist comments, profiling incidents, and the unfair treatment he’s been subjected to simply because of who he is. He retells his stories with reflection on why those actions, statements and situations are not ok, looking at the effect they had on him and how to rectify this.

The breadth of topics covered in this book are vast and in a decent level of depth. Frederick Joseph uses his experiences to traverse the vast topic of racism, helping you to understand a number of topics, including the difference between appreciation and appropriation, amongst many others.

A vast number of reviews have stated that the tone of this book is aggressive and patronising, I want to counter this in its entirety. As the target audience for this book are children and young adults, the tone can seem patronising, if you take it out of context and don't recognise the audience it is written for. As for the comments about its 'aggressive tone', these people really need to do one. If you were to look back on your own life and see all of the injustices that Joesph can see (that are STILL prevalent today, even though we like to insist that we are more aware as a society) you would be frustrated too! Although, I don't think the tone is aggressive at all. Personally, I think that Frederick Joseph's style of writing is frank, honest and easy to understand, which is perfect for this book and target audience as it allows the people reading it to learn and gain an insight into how racist our society still is, and what you can do about it.

This book is an educational and easy read piece of non-fiction work on Joseph's experiences as a Black man (and previously a child) in America, which I recommend to every white person and child. I would love an adult addition to this, that would allow for educating the parents in a little more depth. This book has a fantastic resource addition of the 'Encyclopedia of Racism' at the end, which works like a glossary with additional pieces for you to explore too.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publishers for this eARC of The Black Friend, in exchange for an honest review!

I have mixed feelings on this one. On the one hand, the content was wonderful: Joseph explained concepts very thoroughly and clearly, and I thought the topics he chose to focus on were interesting. Where anti-racism books aimed at adults tend to focus on issues like police brutality and the school-to-prison-pipeline, this was more culture-focused, dealing with things such as the problem with 'colour blindness', the lack of BIPOC representation in media, 'ethnic' names being mispronounced, and the importance of BIPOC being able to have some spaces and media which are simply just for them - all of which are no less functions of systemic racism, but are often overlooked in this kind of discourse. I also really appreciated the interviews with other figures, many of whom I hadn't heard of and now intend to go look up!

On the other hand, this has taken me almost four months to read because the writing style /really/ didn't land for me, but I think that's an 'it's me not you' problem of it not just being my style of humour, and I'm reluctant to lower my rating too much in light of that! Joseph constantly interrupts himself with jokey asides which are formatted in separate boxes, completely disrupting the flow of the text, and a lot of the anecdotes are just self-congratulatory in a way that I think is meant to be funny(?) but which I just found cringey. I'm fairly sure this style is a deliberate choice, because the introduction of the book includes a letter to Joseph's 8 year old brother which is beautiful and moving and in a completely different style, it's simply unfortunate that it's a choice I didn't jive with. Furthermore, this is marketed as a book for children, but it's filled with pop culture references from the '90s/early '00s - I'd barely heard of most of them (even the white/mainstream ones), let alone a current child.

On the whole, definitely a valuable and worthwhile book, and I would be interested to read more of Joseph's work written in what seems to be his actual voice.

The Black Friend: On Being a Better White Person is written by Frederick Joseph from the perspective of a friend. Joseph draws upon his personal experiences of growing up as a black child in America. He talks about the stereotypes and hurtful comments people said to him because of the colour of his skin, and reflects on them, explaining why these comments were wrong and how he would perhaps act differently as a grown up.

Joseph writes from the perspective of a friend. He deals with a very serious issue, in a concise way with bits of added humour. The book is made up of chapters, each covering a core concept, of which Joseph includes his personal anecdotes, as well as interviews with important voices. At the back, you will find a glossary of all key words and concepts discussed through the book, as well as well as a list of people/books/movies and songs for you to check out to expand diversify your mind further.

I found this book a real eye-opener. Whilst I could see racism evident in society before reading this book, I did like to think I was not racist and that I did all I could to treat people of colour with equality. However, this book has made me realise that there is more I can do. Whilst, I will never know what it is like to be black and to face the injustices that Joseph has faced in his life, by giving me the gift of this book, I would like to hope that this has given me the confidence to call out injustices in the future.

Overall, this book is a must read for teens and adults, and even if you think you don't need to read it, trust me when I say it is the gift you never knew you needed.

Diversity should
be celebrated so get
woke and read this book.

I don't read a lot of non fiction but this is an important book. What is significant about Frederick Joseph's approach is that he doesn't just concentrate on his own experiences , which he generously shares to educate, but includes interviews with a wide range of dynamic personalities exploring race, sexual identity, gender identity, disability and ethnicity. Thought provoking and insightful, this book counsels the reader that the key to understanding and appreciating the culturally diverse world we live in is “Dropping assumptions about a person by learning their stories.”

Joseph's message is that if we want to end damaging stereotypes and stop cultural appropriation we need to open our eyes by being aware of derogatory language and inappropriate behaviour which are the seeds of discrimination, bigotry and prejudice. Consequently we need to stop the process of 'othering' and encourage inclusivity. Joseph encourages us to prevent injustice by saying 'that is unacceptable' and taking a stand for what is right.

''The Black Friend: On Being a Better White Person' also encompasses a look at ground breaking movements promoting diversity and inclusion and justice such as #BlackLivesMatter, #Oscarssowhite and #Representation matters. It examines the true meaning of being 'Woke' and clearly shows how attitudes and responses can change depending on age and experience.

Joseph places a spotlight on how casual comments and assumptions can wound while guiding the reader to ways in which to embrace different cultures. He is frank, honest and persuasive. He is not afraid to be self critical or to re educate previous enabling behaviours. At the back of the book he includes a useful glossary, play list, book list, and Things to Watch section.

A must read that should be in every library.

There was so many points of views and different people in this book. The author interviews many POC and it's interesting to see how many people struggle with the issues of the book.

It covers a lot of different topics and overall, I found it to be an interesting and well informed read.

This book is one of the best reads I have had this year, it is so powerful and eloquently written with the author going so far to educate us all on being better, going above and beyond to teach us all. Despite that it is white peoples responsibility to work, learn and grow, Frederick has put his time, effort and deeply personal life moments out into the world in the hope it will help, and I truly believe it will. I have already recommended the book to several of my friends and truly believe it is a book that everyone should read.

A powerful piece of non fiction that should be an essential for any school Library. Frederick Joseph recounts a wide range of topics through his own and others experiences - and I found the Encyclopaedia section at the back to be wonderfully educational.

The Black Friend is probably the most enlightening book I've ever read. This made me realise I didn’t fully understand racism, nor was I aware of how far its ugly tentacles stretch, invading all aspects of everyday life. Before reading this, I thought racism was confined to a minority of white supremacists and defined by the abusive slurs and violence generated by them. I didn't grasp that society is fundamentally a white supremacist construct. I had no comprehension of the detrimental impact of systemic racism on Black, Asian and minority ethnic people ALL THE TIME, even on those who are just children, even when they're at school.

Author Frederick Joseph speaks about his experiences, and interviews a variety of artists and activists, to show white readers what it's actually like to be Black. As a white Irish person who was unaware of the extent of their own privilege, I felt alternately astonished, outraged, upset and ashamed while reading this. Perhaps most disturbing was that the extremely racist, harmful, unfair, and ultimately appalling events described are ordinary occurrences for Black, Asian and minority ethnic people everywhere.

With the Black Lives Matter movement, I became aware of what seemed like rapidly increasing incidents of police brutality in America. I was bewildered by what I naively considered to be disproportionally racist behaviour by the US police force. It was my misguided belief that racism was largely a problem from the past. I'm embarrassed to admit that I thought that apart from a small minority, modern white people were more informed and civilised, and that Black, Asian and minority ethnic people faced less discrimination now.

Joseph talks about the teacher who assumed he was cheating when he aced a test and whose behaviour adversely affected his grades for the rest of his time at middle school. He mentions the girl who had to transfer to another high school because of bullying and lies told by white students. As disgusting as the students' racism is, it's even more horrifying to see the behaviour of grown-up teachers and people people in power, who should know better. Throughout the book, white youths are consistently favoured, and believed, by white people in positions of authority who appear to automatically distrust Black youths.

Then there's the white people who don't consider themselves racist but repeatedly make disparaging remarks, ignorant assumptions and condescending statements based on negative stereotypes. They do this even when they think they are paying Joseph a compliment. These white people seem to be completely (or conveniently) oblivious of the significance of all their words and actions, and lack thereof too.

Joseph has coined the phrase, "Whatever can go racist will go racist," based on Murphy's Law (whatever can go wrong will go wrong) and you see this pattern again and again. At one point, a white person insists a racist guest leave a party and apologises to Joseph for their behaviour. Although Joseph is a college student at this point, it's the first time a white person has apologised for, and done something about, racism in his presence. I was stunned to read that it was not only the first time, but also the last. Parents automatically worry about their children all the time. It was particularly poignant to consider how much more terrifying it is to be the parent of a Black child or adult, when even the police pose a threat.

From clarifying cultural appropriation to the reasons reverse racism does not exist, explaining why white people should never claim to be "colour blind" or use certain words, this informs readers on a variety of important issues. It never feels heavy-handed or didactic and Joseph's tone is conversational and warm throughout. I love his witty writing style and I flew through this book. There's an "Encyclopedia of Racism" at the back of the book, and within the text are lists of notable Black people and events from Black history that white people either know little or nothing about. There are suggestions for Black musicians and artists to look up and Black films and TV shows to watch. Joseph even puts together a brilliant playlist.

Joseph stresses that he is not obliged to explain any of the contents of this book to white people and neither is any other Black, Asian or minority ethnic person. White people ARE obliged to educate themselves, however, and for this reason it's fantastic to have a book of this nature for young people. The Black Friend will help readers understand what racism is, and their role in perpetuating, as well as combatting it, from an early age. This book belongs in every library and on every bookshelf. If you want to raise anti-racist children, this is perfect for your family. The Black Friend is essential reading for white adults too, even if, or perhaps especially if, they don't consider themselves to be racist.

This was a very powerful read and an educational must for its intended audience. As Joseph indicates, it is not the responsibility of people of colour to educate. This novel has been written as a gift to white people to understand what it is like to live in this world as a person of colour but also, what can be done to assist with ensuring systemic racism, and the continued oppression of people of colour, does not continue. This book is certainly a gift - the gift of knowledge, compassion and understanding.

Each chapter explores different themes such as microaggressions, appropriation etc. and offers very personal stories which are raw, but speak volumes to the reader. It's very easy, as a white person, to assume that one is not racist or that there is a full understanding of what it means to be subject to such a flawed system. While I already am an ally to people of colour in this ongoing struggle, I still felt there was so much that I was able to learn from Joseph's personal experiences, and this opened the doors to a level of understanding that perhaps I hadn't fully reached before.

Each chapter is rounded off with interviews with industry leading experts and there is also a useful glossary at the back to assist with understanding the use of terminology and jargon. The final chapter, like many others, is a powerful and uncomfortable read, and yet extremely necessary. It certainly hammers the point home.

I would recommend to read this book, and any other books offering similar educational benefits, as it may just change your perception and help you evolve and grow as person to become a true ally and friend to people of colour.

First of all, thank you to NetGalley for this ARC in exchange for an honest and unbiased review.
•

The book starts off with a letter to Frederick’s younger brother. I can’t express how truly devastating and heart wrenching it is to read the pain conveyed within this letter, the worry that Frederick might not even survive, and this book alone may be his only legacy to speaking out against racism and supporting the fight so future generations may not have to fight against their oppressors is heartbreaking, to say the least.

I really look up to Frederick and think he’s admirable for communicating and speaking out to try and encourage and help white people do better. God knows it shouldn’t be down to Black people to educate and plead with white people to change and help Black people and people of colour live their lives without the fear of being murdered, purely for just stepping outside their front doors.

I truly cannot imagine how exhausting writing this book must’ve been not just physically, but mentally as well, having to go through traumatic events over and over again.It’s so crucial, as white people, that we absorb this and be active in our attempts to cause systemic change rather than wasting the time of these commendable and exceptional people. Take in their words, really hear and understand, empathise and then do something about it. Stand up and take action, use your privilege and help.

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I really enjoyed the inclusion of other perspectives from people of different cultural backgrounds and race in this book adding to the discussion around race and emphasising really key, and important aspects of white supremacy and systemic racism and how white people can help in the fight to tackle such a institutionally racist system by being allies and activists side by side.

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I’m truly so grateful for such an important and educational novel. I will never understand how hard it is to be Black or a member of any marginalised society oppressed by white people, but I empathise and will continue to re-educate myself and others in crucial areas. There’s no excuse not to read this book, you can’t claim it’s hard to follow or ‘too full of statistics or facts’ it’s an incredibly easy book to read. It’s an upsetting and sometimes uncomfortable novel to read but that just enforces how important it is. Uncomfortableness is something we should feel, it’s insignificant in response to what white people have done to oppress BAME communities, it’s impossible to comprehend how distressing that must’ve been. It’s way more tormenting to have had to go through that, than being told some home truths about your position in this institutionally racist system. Frederick has quite literally, done the whole work for you and more! Including resources for further reading, movies and tv shows to educate or re-educate yourself on and some. It’s crucial that you take the time to expand your knowledge on history of white oppression and to remind yourself of the privileged position, you as a white person, hold, as this will inevitably allow you to become not just an ally to the Black and ethnic minority communities but an activist against racism.

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Overall, this was such a powerful book and I couldn’t be more grateful to Frederick for bringing this poignant issue of racism to light in a way that’s deeply moving but also, flows easily, almost as though you’re sat down having a personal conversation with Frederick himself, I found it more hard hitting the way it was written.Thank you Frederick for all that you’ve done and for this insightful and thought provoking novel

This book should be required reading for anyone who wishes to be more socially and culturally aware. It is straightforward and explains anything that might trip up the unfamiliar. There are so many moments that I just had to pause and sit with Frederick's experiences - my heart literally clenches with the urge to soothe and comfort him.

Buy this book, gift this book to everyone you know, and then sit and let this book resonate with you. So many quotable moments, such good music recs, and an encyclopedia to hold your hand through any confusion that you might have without any judgement. It's clear that Joseph wrote this from a genuine place of love and wanting you to grow.

I would definitely recommend.

EVERYONE NEEDS TO READ THIS.

This book perfectly explained racism and how white people's actions (even ones that we think are supportive) can be very damaging in a very accessible way, with a glossary at the back further explaining terms used throughout the book (which I have found some books don't do which can be frustrating). The book uses Frederick Joseph's own experiences to demonstrate racism and how living as a black person is extremely challenging because of how white people treat black people.

By no means am I saying that after reading this book I understand racism perfectly and will be the best white person ever, but I hope that I can take on what I've learnt and continue to try to be the best person I can be. I will never stop reading books surrounding racism as every single person has had a different experience and I need to keep educating myself and trying to better myself constantly.

This is part memoir, part anti-racist instructional book, the tone feels that the age range targeted is a younger audience. For perspective, I read this as a late 20's white woman from England so parts of this weren't aimed at me and that's fine. The message is still important world over.

I like to think that I am liberal, anti-racist and open for discussion on privledge, race and how I can be a better ally for others. I found this book made me challenge myself and though that was at times uncomfortable - it was very important to do.

Joseph's writing style is very conversational, it's done is such a good way as you instantly feel comfortable, it feels like you could sit across the table with him having a drink and just getting into it but he is going to call you out of your Bull. You can see the passion in what he is doing, and understandbly so.

I saw so much in my past negative behaviours in what he was saying, in his experiences and it made me want to be better, to do better and make sure that if I have children in the future they will not be making the same mistakes I did.

Highly recommend getting this onto your Anti-racist TBR. For parents looking at books to discuss the topic of racism with older children and teens, this would be a good place to start.

I finished reading The Black Friend by @FredTJoseph on #NetGalley this evening (published in the UK by @WalkerBooksUK). Aimed at young adults, definitely worth having in your #GreatSchoolLibraries, (I think *especially* those with mainly white populations). https://t.co/sLmU1kHcjd