I've read Nancy Tucker's non fiction books so was keen to read her debut fiction title as she's such. a good writer and it didn't disappoint me. The first chapter is incredible - chilling, the narrator eight year old Chrissie has such a distinctive voice and i was instantly hooked. The first chapter establishes events that happened on the first day of spring when Chrissie is eight and then switches to Julia, in the present, who is struggling with her daughter Molly and is contacted by someone who knows the truth about her. The chapters alternate between the two narrators and time zones and the neglect of Chrissie's childhood is harrowing. This book is outstanding, Nancy's writing is excellent and I read compulsively, unable to put the book down. Despite the darkness, love proves to be a force for good. I can't wait to read more thrillers by this author.

This book ... I'm not sure what I was expecting when I started reading, but it wasn't this. The blurb may give you an overview of what the book is about, a hint of what may be to come, but it belies the solemnity and tragedy of the story. The melancholic, powerful and almost visceral nature of parts of the narrative and the truly emotional rollercoaster of a ride that you are about to embark upon.

This is also a book that is going to be very hard to review. Partly because, for very good reason, the blurb still manages to hide the very darkest secrets that this story holds. And I don't want to give too much away about the story itself. It is a tale that is told through a dual timeline and two perspectives - that of Chrissie, an eight year old girl who suffers the most tragic and neglectful of upbringings, and of Jayne, mother to five year old Molly who is just trying her hardest to give her daughter everything she never had. There are no surprises to be found here, the truths linking the two timelines spelt out to readers very early in the book - that is not what this book is about. We are not expected to unpick the mystery of Jayne's past, the reason she fears losing Molly so much. Nor are we supposed to puzzle long over the dark secret that keeps Chrissie's tummy fizzing with excitement and a sense of power. That is very much spelled out in an unassuming, almost matter of fact manner in the first few pages. It makes the impact all the more powerful, the emotions heightened.

The book involves the murder of a young child. The emotional aftermath is heart wrenching in its authenticity. Seeing young Steven's parents, his mother especially, struggling so hard to come to terms with what has happened, the way in which his death slowly chips away at the very essence of his older sister, Susan, can be very hard to read. But those scenes are almost secondary to the story of Chrissie, the young girl who is at the heart of the story. The real reason we are all here. As tragic as Steven's death is, and it really is, it is Chrissie who demands our attention.

I thought I would find it hard to feel any sympathy for her, given what we witness in the first few pages, but Nancy Tucker has created in Chrissie a wonderfully tragic dichotomy. A character who does something so loathsome that she should have our hatred, and whose circumstances are so utterly horrid that in truth, she only garners our sympathy. A feeling of how she has been let down by all those around her. That what comes to pass is horrific, tragic, unforgivable and yet almost inevitable. It would take a hard heart not to be moved by the neglect we witness. To not feel an almost visceral reaction to the way in which she is treated. For no matter what we know about Chrissie, she is just an eight year old child. Nancy Tucker has written her perfectly, the ferocity and bravado she shows to the world masking the scared and lost child who lives within. Her character, her life, feel uncomfortably authentic. Her troublemaking and anger are a cry for help in a world full of adults who simply fail to notice. She is as much a victim as anyone in this story.

Then there is Jayne. She is a character who it is hard not to feel sympathy for, even though we know her darkest secrets. She loves her daughter, Molly, so much that she would do anything for her. But she is clearly a broken woman, someone who is worn down by a life and a past that is slowly revealed to us as we read on. Her situation certainly made me think long and hard, about redemption and second chances. Watching her with Molly you can feel the love emanate from the page, but also the sense of her almost drowning in her fear. And as we journey with her to a place from her past, the melancholic undertones of her story grow ever stronger. The battle of her conscience, of her need to do right by Molly, was acutely observed, portrayed in such a way that you cannot help but forgive what seems to be the most reckless of decisions.

The story left me emotionally wrung out, the final chapters bringing a tear to my eye. It is a story that is set to move the hardest of hearts, a tale of murder and neglect. Of toxic families and enduring friendships. Of unforgivable actions and the need for redemption. It is a story of love and it is a story of hope beyond all the odds. It has made me think long and hard about how I have reacted to certain events from the past, made me question whether there is such a true division between the black and the white. It is a story that will stay with me for quite some time, and that comes highly recommended.

A harrowing read , especially not what you would expect from the first day of spring. This book though was aptly titled. I wasn't sure I could finish reading this book but I was so wrapped up in Chrissie's story I just had to know what became of her and those around her. I'm so pleased I did finish the book as it became a compelling read which I couldn't put down .

Wow - just finished this book couldn’t put it down - I loved the way it was written in the past and present alternate chapters taking you back to Chrissie’s childhood and the events that lead to the life she is now leading . A very dark subject but told with great characters so well written you almost understand the actions of young Chrissie given the hardships she faced growing up - an absolute gripping read

This disturbing yet utterly compelling story takes us into the mind of a troubled little girl who commits an unspeakable crime and now, as a young woman, is living with the consqeuences. Eight-year-old Chrissie killed a little boy of two, and spent years in a secure unit before being released at 18 with a new identity. Now a mother herself, will her past impact on her future? Will she lose her little girl as she feels she deserves, having taken away another mother's reason for living?
Told in a dual timeline toggling between past and present, and in the first person, the story gives us a unique insight into the mind of a child who regards herself as a "bad seed". Chrissie's desperate need for attention makes our heart ache for a hungry, unloved, dirty, despised little girl, failed by all the adults around her.
Her own mother tried to get her adopted, while the homogeneous group of "mammies" who are her peers' mothers treat her with scant kindness. Her teacher thinks she's too clever for her own good, which may be true - but sadly at eight, Chrissie does not have the understanding to realise that dead means dead forever.
Themes of poverty, vulnerability and abandonment, shame, guilt and fear pervade the pages, but underlying it there is always hope that Chrissie, now Julia, can transcend her tragic past if only she can finally forgive herself.
This is so much more than a story of a tragic crime and its consequences. The examination of the mother-daughter relationship between Julie and her daughter Molly, between Chrissie and her mother Eleanor, and between the "mammies" and their children is a fascinating aspect of the book, as is the friendship between Chrissie and her best friend, the somewhat dim Linda - a relationship in which it seems much brighter, cheeky, defiant Chrissie has all the power.
Despicable as Chrissie's crime was, I don't think anyone will be able to read this with crying for a lost girl whose jealousy of other's children security in their family's love leads her down the wrong path; and gaining some understanding of why a child who kills is not necessarily a monster.

4⭐️
My first book by this author who is a clinical psychologist. It’s a psychological novel looking at the life of Chrissie, who killed aged 8.

It’s told in chapters from the POV of Chrissie and Julia. It really tugged on my heartstrings. We see her life as a child, and later as a mother. In amongst her deeds I felt there was a naivety and innocence. The writing style embraced that really well. She was neglected, lonely, and desperately needed to feel loved which was a big emotional tug. But she is also mean and manipulative and uncaring.
I couldn’t help but think how her life could have, should have been so different. It feels from her behaviour and speech patterns as though she is on the spectrum, even as an adult she comes across as child like, and has regimented behaviours.
I felt it started to lag and feel stagnated about half way. I didn’t feel that the reader is got any more in-depth knowledge or understanding of Chrissie.
I liked the ending.
Initially I thought this had potential to be a real WOW book, but it missed that mark for me. I really enjoyed it.

Chrissie Banks is a feisty little girl. Living on her wits and looking after herself, she comes across as brash and trouble. Chrissie’s mammy leaves a lot to be desired, hardly a role model for her daughter. The story follows Chrissie through all the trials and tribulations of a neglected, uncared for 8 year old, with all the sadness her life brings.

This was a deeply emotional story, dark and tragic. Told from the viewpoint of 8 years old Chrissie and 25 years old Julia. The effects of neglect and poor parenting can be blamed for the events that ruined Chrissie’s life. Or is it nature over nurture, would she have done exactly the same if she had had loving, caring parents? It’s an age old dilemma of who or what to blame and this book gives the reader the perspective insight of who knows?

A book to reflect upon and consider at length.

Thank you NetGalley.

Oh, my greatness, this book is so sad, I simply could not drag myself away. This moving tale features an eight-year-old girl who is desperate for love and attention. Living in a small, poor, community the child acts out to gain attention. She is misunderstood by the people around her. No one sees what is happening, what this child endures or how she is suffering. My heart was left broken by this book.
Nancy Tucker writes a dark, disturbing tale focussing on a child who would settle for negative attention rather than no attention at all. She created a character who is perceived as “a bad seed” and leaves you heartbroken for this sad little girl. The author manages to turn the bad apple into the apple of your eye by the time you reach the last page. Telling the story from Chrissie (an eight-year-old) and Julia’s (a twenty-five-year-old) perspective you are allowed to bond with both these characters. This is a difficult, harsh read that moves you with every heart-breaking detail that is revealed. This is Nancy Tucker’s first work of fiction, and I am hooked. I cannot wait to see what she brings our way next. Her writing is subtly powerful and draws you deep into her story leaving you racing through the pages without even noticing it.
Chrissie is hungry all the time. Her mum does not seem to notice, and the kitchen cupboards are always empty. Chrissie knows no one likes her. But she is strong, and she has found a way to feel important. She has a secret that makes her feel in control. No one will forget her. She finally feels like she has some power. When her secret is revealed, Chrissie is taken away – which is probably the best thing that ever happened to her. Until she is eighteen, then she is set free into the world again. Now she has her freedom, but she is alone and frightened. Until Molly is born. Molly likes her and needs her; this leaves her feeling important. How can she keep Molly from becoming like her? How can she possibly be good enough for this precious little girl? Can she ever forgive herself for the hurt she has inflicted on others, the damage she has done? Is it possible to look after herself and Molly and finally put her past behind her?
The First Day of Spring crawled in under my skin and left me eager to race from page to page. This character broke my heart. She is a horrible little girl, yet I fell in love with her and found myself wanting to reach out and hug her. The author did a marvellous job showing why judging a child on their behaviour is not always a good idea. She highlighted the importance of looking at underlying issues when dealing with young children.
Chrissie is a strong, determined little girl who won’t allow anyone to feel sorry for her. She has strong beliefs, and she stands by them, not allowing anyone to change her mind. She is the class bully, and everyone knows if something goes wrong, Chrissie is guaranteed to be close by. No one knows that Chrissie is hungry and emotionally neglected. No one knows that Chrissie never gets touched and never receives any affection from her mother who doesn’t really want her. Chrissie keeps these things secret; she will never allow anyone to speak badly of her mother. This damaged little girl has won a permanent place in my heart, and I will look at annoying kids in my neighbourhood slightly differently after meeting this character.
I loved every second I spent reading this book and highly recommend that add this heart-breaking tale to your TBR.
Mystery and thriller fans can expect a treat with this unusual villain who is guaranteed to steal your heart. As the author sets you free in this troubled young girl’s mind, you will be left with a smile, a tear and perhaps a little anger as well. This is a fantastic read that will not leave you disappointed – the paperback is due for release in February – make sure you get a copy.

This was a really interesting novel within the crime genre. The main character has a similarity to Mary Bell in the fact that she is a child killer of children. The story covers her story and also her later life after her imprisonment. This was really enjoyable, as a reader you are forced to see her background and the effects of her upbringing on her subsequent behaviour, and her drive as an adult not to repeat the same mistakes. The author has certainly done their research and it is written in a believable and sensitive way but also failing into what sociological and psychological research says about the importance of attachment and social environment. I really enjoyed this and I would certainly recommend this to both lovers of true crime as well as those who like psychological and crime thrillers.

Occasionally a book comes along that makes me think in ways that would normally not cross my mind and The First Day of Spring is definitely one of them. One woman's life split, literally, into two both as the story and in timeline and wow did those two parts make me see things in a new light. Whilst I have always believed that we can be persuaded to do almost anything, this book put a whole new slant on "almost anything". I really dislike spoilers and so I am not going to say much more than this is a book that most everyone should read. It will change the way that people think about what can only be called the reprogramming of the human psyche.

Thanks to Netgalley and Penguin Random House for the ARC of this book.
I found this a sad story to read in lots of ways. I understand how easy it must be to end a child’s life and I understand why Chrissie did it. I can’t comprehend how a mother could ignore her child to the extent that Chrissie was ignored and mistreated.
It’s such a shame that she thought she was going to do the same to her daughter but was trying her best to compensate for what she thought was doing wrong. Thought the ending was perfect but don’t understand why it was called “The First Day of Spring”.

So I have been reading slower lately because of work but this is a book I had to keep putting down just due to how intense it was and how at times, I felt my skin crawl.
As a teacher, the concept of child neglect and cruelty is a massive topic always on my mind and this book displayed it in an <i>honest</I> and <i>blunt</i> way and I honestly appreciated this from the author.
This is the kind of book to go into blind. Honestly, this will enhance the reading experience and I only went off what I read on the blurb.

- the writing was fantastic and the alternating chapters and timelines really enhanced the story. I was engaged from the first chapter and I was sucked into the life of Chrissie.
- the characters felt real and honest and I could picture the settings this book took place in well. this book was a hard read because despite what was done (unforgivable), I found myself feeling sorry for Chrissie and I wished someone would have helped her because there were numerous opportunities for people to do so.

This was just an intense and genuinely moving read and I recommend for everyone. Just read it.

<i>A big thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for sending me a copy of this book. All opinions are my own.</i>

This is a chillingly unsettling debut from Nancy Tucker, packing a powerful emotional punch, a psychological drama sensitively depicting what is viewed by society as the most unforgiveable and horrifying of crimes. 8 year old Chrissie has the most shocking of secrets, she has killed a 2 year old boy, strangling him, feeling a sense of excitement. Years later, there is Julia, an insecure single mother, who loves her young daughter, Molly, worrying about her capacity to provide a loving home and happy childhood, both of which she had no experience of in her early years. Julia lives in fear that Molly will be taken away from her by social services, she starts getting phone calls from someone who knows who she really is, as her past comes back to haunt her.

For Julia is Chrissie, having spent time in a children's home, released with a changed name back into the community, but is really possible for her to have left Chrissie behind? In a multilayered narrative we learn of Chrissie's background of poverty, neglect and abuse, a mother that had never wanted her, leaving her starving and ignored, and a father that flitted in and out of her life, who could not care less for her either. The nasty, desperately hungry, aggressive and attention seeking Chrissie is a liar, a thief and a bully, wanting power and all that is missing from her life, she even treats her friend Linda badly, she is frank, blunt, saying precisely what she is thinking without a second thought. She is disliked and feared by other children, and knows she is seen as a 'bad seed' by others.

The more we find out about Chrissie, the more we come to see and to understand how she came to be the way she is, she is let down by all those around her, by a society that should have intervened, a damning failure to provide the necessary timely help and support. In what is an emotive roller coaster of a read, Tucker depicts the circumstances in which the worst of crimes can take a place, the highlight for me is her skilful characterisation, Chrissie is such a memorable eye opening creation that feels all too real and authentic, someone I completely believed in. This is not a easy novel, but it is a thought provoking, dark and compulsive read, so intensely disturbing, about murder, poverty, family, friendships, trauma, hope and redemption. Highly recommended. Many thanks to the publisher for an ARC.

Chrissie isn't like the other children on the block as she is hiding a dark secrets. All the other children have parents that worry about them. They never go hungry or are dirty all the time. Her mother isn't really a good mother and her father is always absent. All she has is her best friend Linda and her greatest fear is that she loses her. A little boy has been killed & the police are trying to find the killer but they haven't had much lucky. So Chrissie has tried to help them but everything takes a turn for the worst. Fast forward many years Chrissie is now known as Julia and she has a daughter that loves dearly but she is afraid that social services wants to take her away and she can't allow that. Maybe this is her punishment for being so evil as a child. How can she make this right? Do people like her deserve a second chance? A good read. I was live enough to receive a copy via Net galley & the publisher in exchange for my honest review.

There is much more to this book than the core mystery/thriller plotline which forms its centre. Here you will find complex characters and relationships and you will question your concepts of punishment and redemption. I found myself thinking about these concepts long after I had turned the final page, reflecting on the main character's experience as a child and pondering causality and what makes us who we are. A fascinating book.

The First Day of Spring came to my attention as a book I might like to read as it was a crime novel. Please note it is not a crime thriller. It's a lengthy novel which describes a girl who has been completely broken by her family circumstances, to the extent of hating pretty much everyone else but defending her mother from nasty comments whilst secretly hating her too. It is said that murder is never normally a 'first crime' but it builds upon more minor transgressions. So it is with Chrissie, the girl, who has behavioral difficulties at school and thieving tendencies outside school. However, this is a malnourished girl who is perpetually hungry and rather jealous of those who receive love, attention and food. Chrissie was probably born before 1963 as she was a milk monitor at school at the age of 8, to put it into some sort of historical context. It was at that age she murdered two children! The novel swings between Chrissie the girl and Julia (Chrissie) the mother of Molly in her new life after serving her sentence. It's a classic nature / nurture argument. It's strange but when dogs are badly behaved or aggressive we generally blame the way the owners treat them. Not so with children, they get labeled as evil or undeserving all too easily. This novel shows very clearly the circumstances in which Chrissie was brought up and lets the reader judge for themselves whether it's nature or nurture. As a reader I found it over lengthy and a bit slow but how does one explore such tragic topics without short-changing them?

This story will chill you to the bone and sicken you, but you won’t be able to put it down for anything. Chrissie is only eight years old, neglected, under-nourished and overlooked by the authorities and school. Only a few people in her community keep their eye on her and feed her when they can. She is cunning, violent and trying to make sense of the world where she lives. Something that her mother has told her leads her to commit a crime and, the feeling of power that it gives her is all-consuming. It has woken something in her that she already knows she will want to feel again.

Chrissie has just enticed and murdered a little boy that she knows, a toddler, and she feels glorious! She watches with fascination at the reactions of the community, including the little boy’s family. She gloats that she has the answers to all their questions and, the buzz is like nothing that she has ever felt.

The story runs on two parallel timelines, with a Chrissie now grown up and going under the name of Julia, living her life with her daughter. Things are far from right in the present day as she knows what evils there are in the world and how can she keep her daughter safe.

What a fabulous book! Every emotion has been stripped back to the bone, with every unthinkable buried thought having no cutoff point. The timelines run seamlessly side by side, and it works superbly. There are some amazing characters in this story, both when she was a child and as an adult, that can see the child and person she should have been if only someone had done something.


There were so many tragic mistakes. A knock your socks off read and is highly recommended, by myself.

I wish to thank Net Galley and the publisher for an e-copy of this book, which I have reviewed honestly.

#TheFirstDayOfSpring #NetGalley
It gripped me in a vice like grip.
The entire story is based on a will to kill someone and what happened after a murder was done.
Chrissie knows how to steal sweets from the shop without getting caught, the best hiding place for hide-and-seek, the perfect wall for handstands. Now she has a new secret. It gives her a fizzing, sherbet feeling in her belly. She doesn't get to feel power like this at home, where food is scarce and attention scarcer. Fifteen years later, Julia is trying to mother her five-year-old daughter, Molly. She is always worried - about affording food and school shoes, about what the other mothers think of her. Most of all she worries that the social services are about to take Molly away.
That's when the phone calls begin, which Julia is too afraid to answer, because it's clear the caller knows the truth about what happened all those years ago. And it's time to face the truth: is forgiveness and redemption ever possible for someone who has killed?
The above is a short synopsis of this story, although many things are going on in the book. Read it and you'll know what a brilliant book is this one. I'll share it with everyone in my friends.
Thanks to NetGalley and Random House UK Cornerstone Penguin for giving me an advance copy.

This book had a gripping storyline you could see and feel the character of Chrissie. This book touches on so many emotions. Its a powerful book that will stay with you.

4.5 stars

The height of evil, a child killer...but what if the killer is a child?

Jumping from Chrissie at 8 to Julia in her 20s this is an addictive, dark & sometimes emotional read. Surely I shouldn't like or feel sympathy for a killer, but here I really did. Chrissie is vulnerable but feisty, Julia is anxious but trying to be the best mum she can without having any idea of what a good mother is. This kept me hooked & even when you think you have the entire story it gives a little more.

Horrifying from the start this really gets under your skin.