This was a very informative book. I loved the way it was written. It felt like a chat with a friend.
The book everyone should read

A wonderfully thought provoking read which made me laugh, cry & feel truly connected to my community.

This book popped up on my radar only about a couple of months ago, and of course I instantly added it to by TBR list, not expecting to get to it any time soon. On my most recent trip to the library I found none other than a fresh hardback copy sitting pretty on top of the shelf! I'm pretty sure I am the first person to take it out!
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I have read similar things before - a sort of blend of information/history/memoir. The thing about this is that it's so much closer to home than I am used to. The author is five years older than me and lives in London. A lot of the pop culture she references are things that I know and remember, a lot of the events I have been to or have heard of, and we have had a lot of similar experiences. While I didn't learn an awful lot from this (where usually I would learn a fair bit, naturally, reading about LGBTQ+ culture in another country and/or from the perspective of someone from another generation) it was definitely exciting to see my experiences reflected back to me.
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I think the author does a really good job of covering the basics of the community: the good, the bad, the ugly, and suggestions on how to remedy the latter - especially concerning the continuing closures of private sector queer spaces (and I would add cuts to queer initiatives in the public sector) and how any negative effects on the queer community disproportionality impacts queer people who are Black, from ethnic minorities, differently abled, or come from a socioeconomically deprived background.
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This book is a self-described time capsule, documenting the culture of right here right now forever. It looks to the future, full of hope and excitement.

At some point in the past decade, being a queer woman suddenly became… cool. And this very timely book seeks to unpack exactly how and when this happened.

It wasn’t that long ago (aka, the 90s, when I was a teenager) that the world of lesbian and bisexual women was one of the most hidden subcultures around. Compared to gay men, we were rarely in the spotlight and considered as the opposite of fabulous by the rest of the world.

Both Sandra Bernhard and Jenny Shimizu dating Madonna was about as ‘cool’ as we got back then. Otherwise, mainstream society was pretty confused by KD Lang, Ellen and our ‘strange’ obsession with Zena: Warrior Princess and Willow from Buffy.

As Jones tracks in this book, things slowly began to shift over the past 20 years. From Tumblr and Tik Tok, to Sugar Rush and Gentleman Jack, to Kirsten Stewart and Cate Blanchett, the modern media landscape has allowed us to create space for ourselves, our style, our desires in a way that didn’t exist before.

The book’s title is especially clever because it pinpoints the release of t.A.T.u.’s song in 2002 as a moment of significance. Both in terms of what the song meant to baby queers at the time and how much has changed since then.

At the time, women loving women only appeared in the media when performed for the male gaze. These days, it feels increasingly less something that is served up for men’s enjoyment and more like something that is owned by women themselves.

It also was interesting to read about Ladyhawke, the late-noughties singer/songwriter, who was forced by her record label to hide her sexuality and its effect on her mental health, and consequently, on her career.

One of the things I loved most about this book was recounting London queer nightlife in this same era. It brought back so many memories of the Joiners, Club Mofo and Ghetto in the second half of the noughties, just after moving to London. I wonder how much readers outside of the UK (or London, for that matter) will identify with the queer references in this book?

But at the same time, who cares. It perfectly captured a moment and looked at the changes that have followed. It made me excited about what’s to come in the next couple of decades, how much more space queer women will continue to take up, and how that can change the world.

This is an enjoyable and accessible look at what it means to be a lesbian, bi or queer woman or non-binary person living today. Told through personal anecdotes and the lens of popular culture each chapter is formed around a single topic like film, music, dating or mental health. There's a great range of diverse voices and some interesting academic references. As an overview or introduction to queer culture, it's a useful snapshot of today if lacking a certain amount of depth around its topics and histories.

This was a really interesting rude and I like how it touched on noughties culture and a lot of the talking points were very relevant to how I grew up and the kind of atmosphere around being queer in that time period. The writing was accessible and easy to read and it was academic but also very informative and personable. I would pick up more by this offer as she had a very good writing style and the way she she explored the time period with interesting and she hasn't very good most reflection both for herself and from others in this.

This is a short non-fiction book subtitled “everything i know about modern lesbian and bi culture” and chronicles moments in lesbian and bi culture from the 00s onwards. From queer clubs to the arrival of Tinder, how despite physical queer spaces dwindling in recent years, the young queer community have begun to congregate online on places like Tumblr and TikTok.
Mental health, TV, film, music and fashion are other topics covered in this easy to read, biteseize book. I love that it’s a mixture of fact and lots of interviews from a variety of lesbian and bi women and non-binary folk, adding in those personal touches and history to the chapters. Daisy Jones, the author, also peppers the book with anecdotes of her own which I love.

I feel that a lot of books about queer history go back a long way, and often talk about white gay cis men, so having a book about current moments and about a specific group is so brilliant, and hopefully a trend that will continue. This is excellent - whether you are queer yourself of a straight person (like me) this is a read which will entertain and educate.

Note: the title comes from the infamous Tatu song of the same name, which was heralded as a queer anthem on its realise in the early noughties.

Thoroughly enjoyed the book. but I find myself having to rush my reading process because of the time allowance. If I had more time with it, I'd be able to write up a better review. A very inclusive book with a very brilliant set of essays. Informative and endearing; not preachy at all. A book to be read by all - queer, or/and otherwise. Definitely a book that deserves a spot in one's bookshelves, to be read again, and again.

Really enjoyed this book, even if at times I felt old, it's a wonderful reflection of lesbian and Bi culture, interspersed with the author's own experience and memories. Each chapter covers a different cultural aspect and starts with some memoir written in the second person which threw me a little at first but does help to differentiate it from the rest of the text. She has researched each chapter thoroughly, quoting from relevant books and interviews she has done, which adds breadth and depth to the cultural history she is exploring. As she rightly points out many times, there is a real dearth of books that reflect the life of Lesbians, Bisexual and non binary folk and therefore this book is important, particularly for covering younger queer experience and also because she is UK based and we need more of that narrative for sure. An important, interesting and inclusive social history.

With thanks to the publisher and to netgalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

What can I say about this book that hasn’t already been covered by the in-depth synopsis? (also curtesy of NetGalley). It was an incredibly refreshing read; Daisy really immerses you in the culture she is portraying – a culture of early queer establishments, exploring diversity, and forming online queer communities.

Daisy provides a timeline of queer night life in the UK, and how safe spaces and queer-only establishments were established. Within, there is a clear picture of what I would determine to be a very real, and very raw depictions of queer lifestyles throughout adolescence. Through her words, we are witness to a much different life (read: the city life) as a young queer person in England.

I really enjoyed reading this and learning a lot about the night life, fashion, musical interests of LGBTQ+ communities in the early 2000’s. Of particular interest was the chapter regarding the eponym of the book; t.A.T.u’s 2002 hit single All the Things She Said. I had read urban-text myths of the origins for the music video, and how the duo were forced by their record producers, so it was interesting to read a journalist’s perspective and research on the topic.

I recommend this book for;
readers who enjoy essay-style non-fiction
readers interested in personal accounts of LGBTQ+ peoples
readers interested in 2000’s gay night club scene in London
readers interested in biographies

Daisy Jones has a poignant beautiful writing style that I enjoy a lot. It's clearly written from the heart.
I'd highly recommend it to literary fiction lovers.
Thanks a lot to NG and the publisher for this copy.

This is a solid four star book. The author brings up some big themes, and delivers. In every chapter there are also examples from the lives of other lesbian/bisexual women, which is great because you can really relate to a lot of the things she talks about.

As someone who's only a few years younger than the author I learnt quite a bit.

Earlier I mentioned examples from the lives of other women, one of the reasons I liked this so much was that they aren't all just white women from London. There's a lot of diversity when it comes to the women in this book. Again, very relatable.

I would have maybe liked to go in a bit more detail with a few of the chapter topics, but overall a solidly good book.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publishers for this ARC.

An entertaining and personal look at lesbian/bi culture in the UK, mostly centring on the 00s-present. I enjoyed this, it was very readable and nostalgic, although I think I'm a little younger than the author so have slightly different touch points (Skins S3/4 instead of The Real L Word). I wasn't a big fan of the second person anecdotes at the start of each chapter, I think 2nd person can always be a little clunky especially in non-fiction, and I do think the blurb paints this as a less specific and personal look at lesbian/bi culture than what it actually is. For example while clubbing, music, dating, the internet, mental health and style are all touched upon there's nothing about sports or veggie lesbians or queer theory and activism, which I definitely think also qualify as lesbian/bi culture. However, I completely respect how inclusive this is, the treatment of bi women and lesbians as sharing a culture and the acknowledgment of fluidity of labels. My favourite parts of the book were the style chapter (although I associate mullets more with environmentalists than lesbians tbh) and the parts that looked at how Gen Z view gender and sexuality and how they're interacting with queerness.

An addendum: this book (very briefly) quotes Katie Heaney and last I heard she was biphobic?

A very insightful and informative look at lesbian and bi culture. This book shows how things have changed over the years, and how some things are still the same. With some personal anecdotes as well as pure facts, and with chapters ranging from music, film and tv to dating, clubs, and mental health, this book covers many topics and how they impact lesbian and bi culture. Jones has clearly made an effort to be as inclusive as possible throughout this book, with mentions of trans and nonbinary people at times. In this ARC there was one sentence where disabled people were referred to as "differently abled", a term many disabled people despise. However, after reaching out to the author, I was told this would be changed to reflect the language that disabled people prefer. This is an incredible and up to date book on lesbian and bi culture.

I enjoyed reading some parts of this, I thought it was going to be more of a deep dive into representation in tv/film/music than it was. A lot of the book was very London gay clubbing scene focussed which was just lost on me, as neither a Londoner or club going person. I enjoyed the discussions of internet culture and felt that was the most fleshed out part after the London scene. I would have enjoyed the film and tv section to be expanded on more than it was .

All The Things She Said (named after the *very* memorable 2002 song by t.A.T.u) is an exploration of 21st century queer culture and shows how lesbian and bi culture has started to infiltrate the mainstream.

So first, the good bits:

I loved the author's writing style. Factual, but conversational, like you're having a chat with a mate and they're telling you about her specialist subject, but not in a patronising way. I think sometimes journalism skills don't translate into book-writing skills, but in this case they did.

It was super inclusive and included conversations with trans and NB folk. Yes, please. More of this.

Also, that it focuses on UK queer culture. There is not enough of this around. Americans are lovely, but I'm not American and their mainstream culture and queer culture is just different from ours so this was really refreshing to read.

OK, so I do not understand the author's obsession with mullets. Seriously? Mullets?? The impression I got was that mullets are this ubiquitous must-have style for the modern lesbian. Well, I'm here to tell you that it's not! I'm as old as dirt and I can remember Pat Sharp's scary mullet on Art Attack in the eighties; it wasn't a good look then and I don't care how many hot women decide to go 'business up top, party at the back' - it will never be a good look.

The only thing that stopped this being a five star read was that the viewpoint it was written from was purely personal. And I totally get why this is - there are as many experiences of queer culture as there are queer people so to cover everyone's experience would have been impossible. However, I thought from the blurb that this would be written from a broader point of view. The author's experiences are very different from my own, so ultimately I didn't find myself going 'Yes yes! Me too!' as I was reading, like at all, (see above re. mullets).

Thanks to Hodder & Stoughton and Netgalley for a review copy of this book.

All The Things She Said, subtitled 'everything I know about modern lesbian and bi culture' is an exploration of being a queer woman in the 21st century, through the lens of one person's experience and also including snippets of conversations with a range of people. Each chapter focuses on a different aspect of life, from media like film, TV, and music, to things like dating, the internet, and mental health, and Daisy Jones combines personal anecdotes and favourites with broader looks at what has been popular over the last twenty years, especially as some lesbian and bi culture has become more mainstream for various reasons.

There were two aspects of this book that particularly stood out to me: the inclusivity, and the personal perspective. In an act that was accidentally kinda prescient of some of the things discussed in the book, before reading All The Things She Said, I first read through the blurb and looked up the author to check that it wasn't going to be likely to include transphobic or exclusionary stuff. In fact, the first chapter explicitly gives the book a broad approach, pointing out that a lot of the queer culture found within isn't necessarily linked to specific ideas of gender, attraction, or other facets of life and identity, and has snippets of interviews with people like trans and non-binary lesbians to get different perspectives. This was a welcome setting of the scene, and it was also interesting in acknowledging that there aren't clear divides between different facets of LGBTQ culture in many ways, and people often choose what feels right to them.

The other element of the book I found important was the personal perspective. There's no way anyone could write a comprehensive look at any kind of culture as it is in the present day (or past twenty years, as the book broadly looks at), because there's no universal experience, so using a personal lens alongside the more journalist side works well to distinguish what is included, and why. Jones' own experiences help to show the significance of things like club nights and pop culture moments (for example the titular song by t.A.T.u. which I think most people around a certain age vividly remember as a song and music video - one of the most relatable parts of the book for me), and quotes from interviews with other people help to bring in further perspectives.

I found this a highly readable and funny book that manages to cover quite a lot of ground, not functioning as an explainer but more of an exploration, looking at why things are or were popular and how they relate to queer people's lives (the film chapter, for example, is mostly about Carol and the internet's love of Cate Blanchett). As someone who is non-binary, I enjoyed that some parts were relatable (particularly loving skate trainers and baggy jeans and t-shirts as a kid) and other parts less so (for me personally, that included: current TikTok culture as I'm a bit too old, a lot of modern queer woman fashion, and much of the music that wasn't t.A.T.u.).

An inviting book that feels very much like the internet (a lot of the first chapter is basically explaining things that anyone who has been in LGBTQ spaces online will know/have seen debated/etc), All The Things She Said is a modern way of looking at aspects of modern culture. It focuses on some serious stuff, like the prevalence of mental health issues and the closing down of queer venues, but also on the joy of finding your people, and finding the things that feel like home.