Totally different to the usual genre of psychological thrillers, this gentle book shows you how to approach and have important conversations. Well written and full of advice

As an NHS worker, this was compelling reading, especially in regard to palliative and end-of-life care. I found the section on breaking unwelcome news over video to be genuinely helpful, as well as moving. Will be recommending to my colleagues - every hospital library should have a copy of this!

Another beautifully written book on a topic that most of not all of us will have as a challenge at some point in our lives. Some great anecdotes really bring teh points to life - highly recommend.

Kathryn Mannix has a medical background in cancer care and innovative palliative medicine, with the goal of promoting quality of life even as death approaches. Here, she provides a calm, thoughtful, wise commentary and practical advice on having difficult, distressing and challenging conversations, singling out the need to improve our listening skills as instrumental in becoming more effective in this area. In this accessible guide, storytelling is the medium used to build knowledge, experience and expertise in the reader, we are given a wide and diverse range of stories from Mannix's personal and professional life as a doctor, psychotherapist and trainer, and from other sources too. Many are heartbreaking, including touching on grief, receiving unwelcome news, and having deathbed conversations, something that is inevitable for us.

As well as what to do, Mannix draws our attention on things to avoid, such as judgementalism, suspending any different values, and not insisting but inviting a conversation. There is a necessary and particular focus on steering away from the idea of 'fixing' the problems of others, sometimes things cannot be fixed, and anyway answers must come from those who own their specific issues, they must be the architects of their own solutions. Difficult conversations can be a minefield of high emotions, disorientation and distress, requiring sensitivity to the perspectives, pain and vulnerability of others and the need to have the talk at an appropriate time and in a safe place. Prescriptive methodologies are to be avoided, instead curiosity, deeper listening and open exploration are the key for understanding and becoming better at having those challenging conversations.

This is less of a guide on difficult conversations and developing listening skills than a invaluable source of improving our lives for the better. I think there are so many of us who would benefit from the life stories and advice of this superb book, offering opportunities for gaining peace of mind. There is an emphasis on communities and connections, for equality amongst the participants of any conversations, that the process is collaborative, and an acceptance that you might not know what is at play. This is not something I often say, but I think this is a book for everyone, which is why I am highly recommending this as a must read. Many thanks to the publisher for an ARC.

Loved it. How to have a difficult conversation by giving real ligfe examples. it is not preachy or condesaendign but a gift.
We all put of conversations we know are going to be difficult but this book givies us the tools to start the conversations and how to move them forward.

Excellent for any parent or any person who works in a custodial setting from schools, hospitals and many other settings.

I love Mannix's first book and it has helped with conversations within the family regarding end of life thoughts and this book draws on her experiences in this field as she helps show how many issues can be avoided if we learn how to listen.
I found the case studies the most interesting parts of this book but think that it will be a much more useful book in physical form where you can flick back and forth more easily

A caring and compassionate view of how we can learn to listen well and have meaningful conversations. Lots of real examples and situations that would make this a brilliant handbook for counsellors and similar practitioners.

What an amazing book! I loved the information about how to listen and use careful questions and the stories that went along with the information. Some moving stories included but still a fabulous read!

Conversations surround us and they are a fundamental part of everyday life. How much of us, however, feel equipped to truly listen and to have conversations about deep and pressing topics? Well, this book is there for you! It is a really engaging, accessible book that explores how to have poignant conversations.

As someone who had loved Kathryn Mannix's previous book this was a "must read". The true life story in the first chapter is set in the author's early days as a doctor and brought tears to my eyes. It is a story about the author, a widow and Dorothy who helped out. It sets a tone for this book about the difficulties of dealing with challenging situations and conversations. Even when these are done "properly" they sometimes don't work all that well.

This book is far more of a "how to do it" book than the previous one. It was about the author's personal experiences dealing with the dying and the bereaved. This one is far wider ranging and covers a variety of topics and situations. There is more about the way to deal with issues - techniques, tips, ideas and the like. It is more of a handbook than a reading book in some senses. Stories from real life either the author's own, or those which have been passed on to her by other professionals, pepper this and many are extremely powerful. These are used as illustrations of "how to" (or how not to) deal with very challenging situations.

A number of the chapters engaged me fully on a first read and had me highlighting passages to return to. While the word "listen" is fundamental to this book this leads to understanding and empathy. While many stories illustrate that very well reading them can be hard. The story of the carer and the old man in a hospice who made it difficult for anyone to like him or get near him is an example of that - a challenging read but thought provoking too. Kathryn's own interaction with her great-uncle is frankly a beautiful piece of writing and illustrates listening very well.

One area mentioned was one I had not come across before. This was the use of fairly formalised and trained peer to peer and teacher "listening". While this wasn't a difficult read it did leave me with a real hope for the future of listening rather more generally.

Some aspects are just good advice. The section of "deathbeds" is something that many folk would probably find a useful read at some stage of life. There is information on dealing with suicide prevention with some worthwhile thoughts. The book is a up to date and looks at the challenges to having difficult conversations that are posed during COVID as well as those arising from COVID.

I have a little knowledge in this subject area - as we age all of us are probably exposed to at least one of the issues tackled here and maybe more. I have no actual professional interest at this time however I found the book readable and valuable to me. Those with a professional interest should probably have an understanding of the issues and techniques involved. However I do think that many could benefit from stepping away from a fixed idea of role and into a deeper understanding of people and how they feel - we are all different.

Overwhelmingly Kathryn Mannix's compassion comes over in this book as it did in the previous one. If I were in a highly challenging situation I know of no one else I would rather have in the room. 4.5/5

Like with every book I read and review, this one is starting off with the full 5 stars too and I'm hoping that it'll not only finish with those 5 stars, but I'll learn how to sugar-coat sensitive conversations too.

Let's get started!

OMG! Where has the afternoon slipped away to? I wrote that paragraph (and sentence) 69 pages ago and haven't stopped reading until now. This is a fantastic book so far!

Done it again... currently at page 114 and I haven't even stopped for a drink or wee all afternoon which is soo unlike me! lol This is a serious must-read for everyone and still a very solid 5 stars.

Just 10 more chapters/sections/whatever they're called in non-fiction to go and I'll be able to put this review up. For now though, I'm stopping reading for the night and I'll be back reading as soon as I can tomorrow.

I really am enjoying this book... I don't wanna say too much about it otherwise it'll spoil it, but it's a definite must-read, even for those who think they are great listeners already... I'm learning so much from this book and I'm so glad I was approved to read it in advance of it's publication. I'm grateful to the publisher and to NetGalley for providing me with an ARC of this book in exchange for this review... I'm loving what I'm reading and can't recommend it highly enough to you all!

Oh boy, just read about death and now about grief... this is gonna be heavy and prolly upsetting, so make sure you've got plenty of tissues and support available before you read these bits!

One sentence, more than any other single sentence in this book, has just said everything I've been trying to say all my life but the sentence says "Surrounded by people but with no one to hear us can be a place lonelier than isolation." and it describes how I've felt my whole life! I'm surrounded by friends who reach out to me when they need a bit of support that I'm more than happy to provide, but on the rare occasions I need support too, I'm totally alone. For the last two years on Facebook I've had mini melt-downs each December but I've been told by people I thought I could trust to "take it down and put it on your blog instead" then that's literally it for another year. I've tried reaching out on a depression forum but nobody replied on there so I've tried reaching out to friends and I get less than a couple of sentences of support before it goes back to me supporting them. If I did that to them they would call me selfish and break off our friendship. I really am surrounded by people but with no support I really am feeling lonlier than complete isolation.

I'm currently sat here sobbing my heart out... the pages I've just read have been so understanding and it feels like they were talking straight to me. Thank you to the author for those pages... they mean a lot to me.

The writing in this title shows the compassion and thought that Ms Mannix puts in to her work, both as a teacher and a clinician. I particularly liked that that she gave anecdotes from the early years of her career in order to show that this is a skill that everyone has to learn. Definitely invaluable for healthcare and other similar professionals but also very useful for anyone who wants to improve the outcome of more difficult conversations.

This is a non fiction book that looks at how to have difficult conversations and to listen in a way that matters. I thought it was very well written and an important read for anyone looking to be a supportive friend or family member.

Kathryn Marnix is such a gifted writer and her care and compassion for other people is evident on every page of this book. Her previous book about coping with death was profound and sometimes difficult. Listen is a book which anyone and everyone can learn from and relate to.

Kathryn has a wonderful way of communicating. In this book, she explains situations and how to deal with them without sounding patronising or preachy. We all seem to lead such busy lives. Too little time, so much to do and I’m sure most of us have lost the skill of actual stopping and not only listening, but hearing what someone is saying. Often there’s a sub text around the words that are hiding a different issue and if we don’t listen, we won’t pick up on that. Numerous scenarios are explored with pointers as to how to respond and encourage conversation without confrontation, drama or upset.

I’m not keen on ‘self help’ books, but Listen is really a bible for life. If we could develop a handful of the skills she demonstrates ( and it’s not difficult), we’d feel better and more fulfilled. I’m an older reader, but I’ve learned from this. It’s given me pointers in terms of dealing with sensitive or difficult issues with others and it’s the kind of book that you can dip into to reinforce some of the positive approaches she advocates.

It’s a privilege that Kathryn has taken the time to share the benefits of her wisdom with a wider audience and this is a book I shall buy in hard copy on publication as it’s invaluable. My thanks to the publisher for a review copy via Netgalley.

Having previously read and reviewed Ms Mannix’s first book With the End in Mind I was very interested to read this book which focuses on the skills necessary to not only listen, but hear. It seems an obviously easy task, but Ms Mannix has illustrated not only the importance of really hearing what is being said, but able to communicate to the speaker that have you not only heard what is said, but understood what is being said and encouraging further discourse.

To quote from my review of her first book: “Kathyrn Mannix is not a philosopher who has focused on death and what it means and how to approach it. As a palliative carer her experience has been gained from working on the front line, whether that is in oncology or in other fields for many years. Her wisdom has been honed and perfected, assimilated from colleagues and more importantly from patients and their families.”

Like her first book, Listen offers the reader insight and comfort and a useful tool in each individual’s attempt to be supportive when confronted with difficult conversations and situations. I heartily recommend it.

Thank you to theauthor, publishers and NetGalley for providing an ARC via my Kindle in return for an honest review.