An enjoyable read, well written and entertaining. Hadn't read this author before but would consider reading again.

Not for me, this one. I simply didn’t warm to the characters and thus wasn’t engaged by their shenanigans within and outside marriage. The main protagonists are David and Terri. After 25 years together Terri decides she doesn’t love David anymore and that she feels “suffocated”, even though he seems a pretty nice guy to me. So off she trots to have an affair – although this naturally upsets David and her teenage daughters. But all’s fair in love and marriage, apparently, and she witters on endlessly to justify her actions. Narrated from various points of view, it turns out that all the characters are equally self-obsessed and self-centred and consequently equally uninteresting. Nothing much happens, just endless explorations of feelings. Dull and banal.

Really didn't enjoy this. Terri is the novel’s catalyst, yet she's the weakest character in Schermer’s wide net. Overwhelmed with the responsibilities of motherhood, Terri decides to leave her family. There is a scant reason why she chooses to do this; her husband is supportive and shares the load in rearing their children, her work is fulfilling, her children are just as children ought to be: innocent and complicated individuals seeking new experiences. We’re never really told why Terri feels dejected enough to abandon her duties to her family and shack up with her colleague-slash-lover.

The lack of speech tags in dialogue sections with numerous characters was particularly confusing to read. I also found Rafik's characterization borderline offensive. Felt like a poorly conceived 2002 indie movie (pejorative).

I honestly had no idea what to expect from this book and that’s often what I prefer when going into translated books. I want to experience a little slice of another culture or place without any pre-conceived expectations and that’s exactly what I did with this little Dutch family story.

Terri has left her husband David and two daughters Krista and Ally for a good-looking, free-spirited lover Lucas. David is now left to raise their two daughters, just as Krista is falling in love for the first time. The new format of the family forces all four of them to question who they really are outside of the family unit and what that really means.

Terri began her affair with Lucas because she was bored and feeling suffocated as David’s wife. The early days of the affair gave Terri and David’s marriage a new lease of life, perhaps due to Lucas giving Terri some newfound confidence and energy. However, she begins to fall harder for Lucas and ultimately chooses him.

David is very much a typical man of late middle-age, who sees no reason to make an effort with himself or within his marriage anymore. He has clearly taken Terri for granted and although cheating is unforgivable, it’s easy to see why Terri has looked elsewhere. David is a dependable, good man but there is no excitement or unpredictability with him, which are two key ingredients to the survival of any long-term relationship.

David’s casual and resigned attitude to his wife’s affair is both tragic and frustrating. I wanted him to fight for his wife because he clearly still loves and needs her. Although he takes up with a new love of his own, he was always sure that Terri would come back to him. However, that seemed to become less and less of a possibility as the book went on and David didn’t really do anything about it.

Krista is falling for a boy called Rafik and I loved how Schermer really got into the mind of a teenage girl, experiencing infatuation for the first time. She is very self-critical and constantly analysing how Rafik must see her. This is exactly what insecure young girls do and I really enjoyed watching that unfold.

Youngest daughter Ally is a witness to the events within her family. She is very observant and perhaps she can be because she is the only one who isn’t completely tied up in her own stuff. Ally is able to see her parents as people and although, their separation is hard for her, I think she has a very deep understanding of what’s going on between them and the reasons for it. I would have loved more from Ally’s perspective because I think it’s a unique one and would have definitely been the most interesting.

Love, If That’s What It Is asks its readers to question what love really is and how it can take many guises within the same person. There can still be love between divorced spouses and romantic love can morph seamlessly to a more platonic, appreciative form. It tells us that maintaining individuality within a family is vital to achieving true happiness and satisfaction. I was left wanting more from the characters though, so ultimately I wasn’t completely satisfied on finishing it.

Such a well crafted narrative on the ravages of a failing marriage and its domino effect on all involved.

Emotionally gripping as Schermer paints such authentic characters and their emotions. Each characters voice well drafted in complete frankness and palpability.

Schermer will leave you reeling with reflection, plucking at your heartstrings and reaching into the depths of empathy, untangling a plethora of sentiments.

Schermer executed a brilliant novel. Well done.

4.5 stars. Terri realizes one day, after 25-years of marriage, that she doesn’t love her husband anymore. She decides to leave him and two daughters to live with her lover.

This uniquely written novel changes the perspective from one to another—so we can see the different views of wife, husband, daughters, lovers. The perspective changes from one to another without warning. At first, you will probably need some time. But after some time, I got used to it, and then it flowed perfectly. It reminded me a bit of Days of Abandonment, in a way how love and family can be shattered and destroyed overnight. Very well written. I would be glad to read something else from this author.

Thanks to World Editions for the ARC and this opportunity! This is a voluntary review, and all opinions are my own.

I was really excited to read this book but I really couldn't get into it. The pacing felt off and the character seemed to move from one idea to the next without any clear reason in service to development or style. The sentence "the ball of mozzarella reminded him of her naked body" was the icing on the off putting cake.

Love, If That's What It Is discusses relationships, both familiar and other types as we follow the aftermath of a broken marriage. The book dealt with a premise that I love and there were several passages in the novel which reflected on the individuality within relationships that really stayed with me. However, I personally found it a bit hard to follow with the number of different povs and I struggled to keep up with the different narratives, which really did bring down the enjoyment for me.

Thank you to Netgalley and World Editions for sending me an advanced copy

a quiet slice-of-life novella surrounding the ending of a marriage. The kids, the spouses, the new partners, etc are all heard from and they all have individual, well-fleshed out characterization. I loved the writing and how realistic everything was with a lack of histrionics or anything like that, just slow sadnesses, reckonings, and reappraisals.

I received a copy of this novel from the publisher via NetGalley.

This wasn't for me: I found the constant shifts in point of view confusing and none of the characters very endearing. This was a group of people musing about relationships in an entirely humourless, self-involved fashion. Obviously nothing really happened, because it was that sort of book, but there was nothing in it that made up for the lack of plot as far as I was concerned.

A haunting book about marriage divorce the reality of life after divorce.the effects on the couple and their children.Teri leaves David after a twenty five year marriage she is having a love affair.David is left to raise their two adolescent daughters each going through their own emotional turmoil.So well written so involving highly recommend.#netgalley #worldbook

Terri runs off with a lover, abandoning her children and her marriage of twenty-five years. Her husband, David, is left to take care of their two daughters, one of whom is falling in love for the first time. These four people start to question their identity outside the nuclear family. What remains of a disintegrated home, and what changes? Marijke Schermer’s Love, If That’s What It Is gives a kaleidoscopic view of a divorce, permitting the reader to enter the heads of not only the spouses, but also of the two daughters and the divorcees’ new lovers. Through several characters, the reader is presented with just as many views on relationships, while Schermer remains impartial and thus confronts readers with their own—perhaps shaky—romantic principles. What is love? With fresh flair and provocative perspectives, Schermer manages to provide an original and versatile answer.
This was one of those books that sucked me in from the beginning and didn’t let go until I finished! I thought it was well written, with absolutely flawlessly done characters, and absolutely unputdownable.

It is an unusual perspective to give not only the two sides of the broken relationship, but also the children. Normally in novels we only get the narrative of one person - either the person leaving or the person left heartbroken - but of course divorce affects everyone, and it was refreshing to see that explored in this book.

Marijke (or Hester) uses mainly short, abrupt sentences. They’re to the point, succinct, no sugar coating; but they feel a little uncomfortable, which perfectly encapsulates the situation the character are living in.

I am a little worried that the translation lacked a bit of its original centre, as I found it a bit clinical at times, but it was still powerful

"What is love but deciding that you are ready for it, and then finding an object upon which to project your desires?"

This translated dutch novel follows Terri and David through the seasons as they navigate their way through the stale traditions of a 25 year old marriage, extramarital activities and the exhaustion of parenthood.

The book is very real and emphasises each characters flaws, with the author never obviously judging or blaming a single character for their decisions and allowing total character development from the key players to the 17 year old guy one of the daughters invites round for monopoly after meeting him hanging around at the wall.

I loved the lack of closure and resolution, the total separation from any likelihood of a happy ending and the multiple lies spanning each relationship. I was able to put myself into the story and really resonate with each individual in each part of their journey - the child finding themselves, the woman fed up, the lover wanting nothing serious and the settled down partner. I'd read the second part.

Thank you to NetGalley for the Arc.

Schermer's "Love, if that is what it is" is about all facets of love, however, I could not really sympathize with the characters, whilst the forms of love emphasized were on the unattainable side of the spectrum. Although I expected some philosophical musings about love, the novel reads quickl.y.

where to start, maybe i can start by saying this was incredible? i knew i was going to like it since its for "the days of abandonment" fans, but oh my god.
in this book we follow the divorce of Terri and David, and all the altercations they have to go through. they ask themselves ¿what does it mean being married? ¿what do we search in a relationship? (+abyss was my favorite chapter ever, that description they did was beautiful). something that i loved was the fact that we could see everyone perspective, a lot of times, focusing in one person leaves us with way too many questions, but the author gave us EVERYTHING. i'm just mesmerized by this and i'm so glad i read this. one of my favorites reads of this year !!

They have been married for 25 years but now, Terri fells like suffocating. She can no longer go on being the housewife in the suburbs whose daily routines have been the same for decades and who has lost all individuality. When she meets Lucas, she falls for him and leaves her husband David. Neither he nor their two daughters Ally and Karla can understand Terri’s behaviour. While Terri finds the second love – if that’s what it is since it does not actually go far beyond bodily desires – her eldest daughter finds her first love. David and Ally need more time to adjust to the new situation, but they two learn that another life is possible.

Marijke Schermer cleverly composes her novel to show quite different types of love. On the one hand, there is the reliable love that has been formed during years of marriage, where the partners know each other with all their weaknesses and have formed dependable routines. On the other hand, Terri lives an ecstatic love with Lucas which does mainly focus on bodily needs but not on getting to know the other’s character. Love within the family - which should be something you can trust on and which deeply disappoints if this is not the case – the first love with butterflies in the stomach and the love between those who have already loved, have been disappointed and not in the middle of their age, approach the concept with reluctance.

I liked the interchange of the different perspectives which are cleverly linked within the story. We often get the same moment first from one then from another character’s perspective thus outlining how they might differ in the assessment of the situation and also showing the different expectations they have.

Interestingly, I can easily understand Terri’s feeling of suffocating and wanting to break out of her life after so many years of only following routines, of feeling like having lost her self and being stuck in a dead-end. David’s perspective, too, is easy to follow. He and Terri have been a team, their family is their common endeavour, she cannot just stand up and go! For him, all was fine up to that moment and thus, he is totally surprised by his wife’s move. For the girls, the situation is hardest, family is the concept they have known and even though they have been confronted with separations and divorces this has been something that happened to others but not to them. How can they experience something like the first love when love can hurt so much?

A wonderfully written novel, right out of life which I totally enjoyed reading.

DNF 21%

I feel bad for stopping, especially as I'm not far in, but it just doesn't work for me. I loved the idea of having the points of view of the children, the spouses and the lovers, but I got lost because of the writing. Each time the POV changed, I had to re-read the previous lines to realize we switched characters. I thought I'd get used to it... but no.

On top of that, I couldn't fathom where the story was going. Towards healing (David)? Discovery (the eldest daughter)? Reversed betrayal (Terri)? Or was it simply stating the current situation, without letting us take a peek at the characters' future? I was too early in the book to get the full picture, so it's hard to guess. But I still felt like the book had no purpose. Maybe it just wasn't for me...

[I also stopped because I was happy discovering Terri's lover was actually cheating on her (and didn't love her, at all), which wasn't a very sane sentiment. So, as I didn't feel connected to any of the other characters, I decided to let go...

(3.5) Thank you to the author and publisher for the chance to read this in exchange for an honest review.

This is definitely a novel that will be interpreted differently depending on your bias and opinion on each character. The story explores the grueling aftermath of the breakdown of a marriage after Terri leaves her husband and their two daughters after 25 years. It gives you the chance to explore the vulnerability and emotional response of multiple characters in the aftermath of Terri leaving David for Lucas, and how identity exists and operates, both within and outside of the nuclear family. If you enjoyed Marriage Story (2019) you may enjoy this book because it reminded me a lot of the film as I was reading, but with the added complexity of multiple viewpoints. The story is messy in parts, but this may have been intentional. Ally's loneliness stuck with me the most.

I enjoyed reading this one as it was similar to Marriage Story on Netflix which I highly enjoyed.
Premise
Terri runs off with a lover, abandoning her children and her marriage of twenty-five years. Her husband, David, is left to take care of their two daughters, one of whom is falling in love for the first time. These four people start to question their identity outside the nuclear family. What remains of a disintegrated home, and what changes?
I love reading about different family dynamics as it is so prevalent in today’s society. It was very interesting hearing the different side/stories of the different people featured in this novel and what family is like outside a normal nuclear type dynamic and how it affects us and changes us.