Member Reviews
I am grateful this book exists--i think it will be specifically helpful for straight cis parents of trans kids, and i look forward to recommending it to them. It's concrete and useful, but really assumes a lack of background that a lot of my queer/non-binary/trans friends who parent trans kids would be underserved by. That's okay though! There are plenty of cishet parents out there!
This star rating is based on my gladness for it to be in the world more than my specific experience of it--which isn't usually how i rate, so i wanted to note that.
This was a NetGalley ARC.
As the parent of a transgender/nonbinary child who recently came out, I've been seeking books to help me process the various emotions I've had and learning as much as I can. I'm not much of a nonfiction reader, so I have to admit that sometimes it feels like a chore. But this book was different - I really enjoyed reading it. It is written in a way that feels more like talking to a friend who's been there than a factual handbook. It's the best book for parents of transgender children that I've read so far, and I think it's exactly what I needed right now.
The author of this book has a transgender son, so she shares their story throughout the book. I think it really gives the book a personal touch, The book felt very validating, recognizing the range of emotions and experiences that a parent goes through as normal, and gently guiding you in a direction that is best for you and your child. Multiple times the book talks about how we need to take care of ourselves if we want to properly support our children, and this was something I really needed to hear. Each chapter ends with some reflective questions meant for journaling and processing what you have read.
I love the wonderful analogies that the author gives throughout the book, especially the one about how it's like being on a bus. It puts this experience into terms that are easy to understand and really give a great perspective. I've talked about it with both my husband and therapist when explaining things. It's helped me understand in a way that I then can help others understand.
I loved this book so much that I've already preordered a paperback copy for when it releases. This is a book that I think any parent of a transgender child should read.
Thank you to the author, publisher and NetGalley for the opportunity to read a free copy of this book before its release!
This is a book directed at parents of transgender children. And honestly, it’s a resource I wish my parents had when I came out to them.
Very thoroughly researched, it explains the very basis of what a parent might need to know when their kid comes out - I’m sure it’s an additional source of comfort that the author of the book is a parent of a trans child, too! The trans kid’s wellbeing and happiness is always at the forefront of the book, which I really appreciate. It touches on topics ranging from coming out to family and school to things like non-binary identities, binders, tucking, and medical transition to coming to terms with your kid’s identity and celebrating it. A small thing I really appreciated was the mention of links between transness and neurodiversity in an open and easy-to-understand way, without invalidating the child’s trans identity just because they’re neurodivergent. I thought that was excellent and something that should be discussed yet rarely is without significant fearmongering and infantilisation.
I really love the “you time” sections at the end of each chapter with workbook-style questions allowing the parents to reflect on the contents of the chapter. This, without a doubt, will be a valuable resource to so many, providing clear answers so difficult to find among misinformation so often present in the media and online.
It was an informative book and is totally a good read for anyone with a gender diverse child. As someone who is gender diverse I know what it’s like and some of the things that are pointed out in here are spot on.
This is a fantastic resource that I will definitely be looking to purchase for my library. I will also be recommending it to my local gender clinic. While the resources in the back tend to veer towards Canada and the UK, they are sound and reliable sources that are accessible on the web. Each chapter is well laid out and the most basic of questions are answered for parents/educators/those transitioning.
A great pick for any collection.
Educational. It gave me an eye-opener into a world that I barely understand, but work in daily. As I’m working on full licensure as a therapist, this gave me some insights to understand people who are working on figuring out who they are. I hope to use everything that was shared in this book as a way for me to advocate better for my clients.
Tammy Plunkett has written an immensely important book about gender identification, the struggles families encounter and the joy of eventually getting it right and having a happy, confident and mature teenager as part of the family.
This is so much more than an "essential guide for parents of trans children"; it's a book for ALL adults, for all of us who find the whole vocabulary around cis gender, trans gender, gender fluid, gender queer, non-binary, etc confusing. Knowing the difference between the descriptions should be considered general knowledge, more so than who's who on Love Island!
It's shocking that she even has to point out that "Gender diversity is not a mental illness"!
She shares the journey they went on as a family when one of the children came out as transgender, how they all experienced a steep learning curve (the adults probably more so than the children!), how they lost a few friends along the way but made MANY more, and how there is support and solutions available emotionally and medically (although sometimes at a cost depending on where you live and your insurance circumstances).
Finally, this book is focused on the adult perspective, with a lovely foreword by Mitchell, but I'd be very interested in reading about Mitchell's journey, to be able to share with a younger audience so they also can find answers to their questions, and support knowing that they are not alone, or strange,
Thank you for a superbly enlightening book! I sincerely hope it gets read by a wider group of people than parents of transgender children; it's a very important topic.
As a non-binary person i’m so happy this book exists! Often time trans kids are expected to explain every single thing about their identity to their family and it’s exhausting! I think this is a wonderful resource that all parents should read!!
This book is a great way to discuss gender especially to an audience that may not have had much exposure to it. I myself was pretty well acquainted with the terminology and the topics within this book, but when I discussed it with my mother, she was unaware. I feel like there is this disconnect between parents and children when it comes to issues of gender, being trans and etc. I feel like the author had this voice that really can help reach out to people who might feel disconnected or even angry with this subject. I also love how there was a table of contents, makes the book even more accessible!b 10/10 read.
Beyond Pronoun. The Essential Guide for Parents of Trans Children by Tammy Plunkett.
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The books tells in first person of the mother the first stages of the upbringing of his trans child, Mitchell . So useful for both parents, legal guardians and trans minors.
This book helps to understand the first stages since you "come out of the closet" at home and in society, legal procedures such as name change, hormone blocker, or important decision-making such as genital operations in case they want to do them. . It also raises doubts that may come up, and questions at the end of each chapter to reflect on what you have read.
This is a book written by the parent of a transgender child with the audience of other parents of transgender children in mind. That being said, I appreciated that the very first pages were a note from her son directly, emphasizing the importance of listening to trans voices first when learning about the community.
This book is designed as a compassionate, clear, and patient explanation of the essential terms and ideas related to the trans community.
There are sections all about getting used to new names and pronouns, navigating the school system, managing family relationships, taking care of mental health, and more.
The author does a great job acknowledging areas of potential difficulty for parents, all while getting the message across that any feelings of discomfort or distress should never be given to the child as a burden. She uses a blend of explanation and personal anecdotes to make everything easier to understand.
I would feel very comfortable and pleased to share this resource with parents who are in the early stages of learning about their trans kid. It is good at referencing other materials as well.
The sections about legal changes and medical care are fairly Canada-centered and might not be as helpful to parents in other countries.
As a small note, I disliked that there was a Harry Potter reference in this book about affirming transgender children since JK Rowling is a known transphobe. I would love to see this brief comment removed!
Thank you to NetGalley for this ARC. I believe this is a book that will genuinely help families.
This book largely talks about one parent and their transitioning son, but it talks a lot about how to be an ally to your trans or gender diverse child.
While I am not a parent, I am a child of a trans parent and I myself am gender diverse. My parent and I grew up in starkly different times, and were treated very differently when it came to our gender diversity. This was refreshing to see from the perspective of a parent, and seeing how you can assist your child with a social transition.
I think the book was very well executed, and it highlights a lot of struggles that those that are gender diverse experience, and how to better assist as an ally. I don't think you have to be a parent to read this, I think you merely have to be an ally. This could help you assist in your friend's child's transitioning, or if you ultimately decide to be a parent one day.
One fault that this book has is that a lot of categories got clumped together, and I would have liked to see them a little more separated out, as well as giving more time to expand on each of these topics.
Thank you to NetGalley, Tammy Plunkett and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for the ARC in exchange for a review.
I only have questions when it comes to Pronouns and how to talk to my kids about gender. Having this guidebook makes me feel less lost and hopeful that I have a chance to get it right. There were questions I didn't even know I would have that this book answers. Terms like "gender expansiveness" or "gender dysphoria" were phrases I didnt know existed but now I know what they are.
I will probably be purchasing this gift for other moms simple because these are things we all need to know regardless of how our kids identify.