This book is heartbreaking and thought provoking
The setting is brilliant. I was so invested in the main characters lives. The writing is so good especially as this is a debut

3.5 stars

A difficult but well written portrait of a marriage in Nigeria in the 1970s-90s. Obianuju is drawn to Gozie, the handsome, charismatic chorister at her church. There is an instant attraction and even her difficult mother approves of this good Igbo man who reminds them both of Ikenna, beloved brother and uncle who disappeared in the civil war between Nigeria and Biafra. Ikenna was kind, loyal and brave and when Uju agrees to marry Gozie she hopes to find the same qualities in him. But hey hope is short-lived, hey love curtailed by marriage as she has to give up her place at college, her close friendship with professor Akin. Gozie proves violent, demanding and uncompromising and despite an early journalistic career criticising corruption in various governments he abandons his principles for wealth and influence. Uju tries to reconcile her role as wife and mother with her active mind, her indeoendence and her ambition but often find herself bearing the brunt of Gozie's fists and the demands of a patriarchal society.

Odafen had created a wonderful setting for her story, saturated in Nigerian society and culture. She renders this effortlessly, introducing the reader to the civil war, Igbo traditions, complex relationships between different groups. It's immersive, rich and well-supported by protagonist Uju who has the strength and flaws of a real woman. She's funny, spirited, opinionated and determined, even when oppressed. My reservations were for the other characters who were less developed and though the story takes places over decades there was a curious timelessness and there was no real sense of the years passing.

Tomorrow I become a Woman by Aiwanose Odafen is one of the most captivating books that I have read in quite a while. I liked the realistic portrayal of themes of marriage, societal and gender expectations, patriarchal values, gender inequality and culture.

Set in Nigeria, the story is narrated in three parts (yesterday, today and tomorrow. It tells the story of Uju, a a young ambitious girl at the University, whose life drastically changes when she falls in love and marries Gozie. What first began as a fairy tale romance quickly turns into an abusive marriage. Although this might seem like a familiar story, I can assure you that its not. One of the things that stood out to me is the role that culture and societal expectations play in keeping women in abusive marriages especially in our African society. There is a dark cloud that follows divorced women around. It seems like some societies would prefer that women remain quietly in abusive marriages than walking out. There is a stigma attached to divorce.

Apart from marriage, another theme that stood out is on children. Its not enough to have children but having boys is preferred. This is a sad reality in most parts of the continent I live in. The themes explored in this story are quite emotional. I was angry, sad, frustrated and quite disappointed at times. Its worse knowing that all these things do happen in reality.

I can’t recommend this book enough. It is quite well – written with relatable, thought-provoking themes that will keep you turning pages to the end. The character development is masterfully done. Whether good or bad, each of the characters stood out as unique and memorable. I absolutely adored this book.

This book is such a hearbreaking read. I knew somehow at the back of my mind that it would be, but I had no idea of the length of its pain.
Tomorrow I Become A Woman shed light on what it means to be a woman growing and living in Nigeria. It also had the backdrop of life before, during and after the Nigerian Civil War and what it means to lose loved ones.
The writing has such great flow to it as well, even as it jumped from timeline to timeline. I really enjoyed reading it and the beginning to the end was truly engaging.
I gave it 4.5 stars, however it would have been a 5 if the ending was not so abrupt.
I totally recommend.

I would struggle to be able to review this book due to issues with the file/download. The issues stopped the flow of the book. The issues are:
- Missing words in the middle of sentences
- Stop/start sentences on different lines
- No clear definition of chapters.

Not sure if it was a file/download issue but there were lots of gaps, stop/starts which really ruined the flow. I would love the chance to read a better version as the description of the book appeals to me.

In Tomorrow I Become a Woman, Aiwanose Odafen explores the complex relationship women have with their families, spouses and friends as they navigate the pressures and expectations of a patriarchal society and culture. It also explores, in a subtle yet brilliant way, all of the ways women finally become women, such as through marriage and childbirth, and this is contrasted the way men become men, by simply being born a man.

Spanning three decades and divided into three parts (Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow) the book explores Uju’s journey throughout womanhood, from the young woman with bright hopes for her future (Yesterday), to the married woman struggling to accept her abusive marriage as a fact of life (Today), and, finally, to a woman on her way to achieving true independence and freedom (Tomorrow).

“You have never learnt to accept your lot in life. You’re a woman not a man. The sooner you accept it, the better.”
I loved how Odafen portrayed Uju’s struggle between fighting for the better life she deserves and behaving the way her mother and society expect her to. The cognitive dissonance -rationally knowing what’s right but emotionally or subjectively being unable to leave- that many individuals in a similar situation as Uju’s experience was so accurately portrayed that I never felt more frustrated than when Uju would succumb to her mother’s influence and go back to Gozie. However, Uju is never portrayed as meek with her inner strength always shining through, even in the instances where she is trying to keep the peace and fit in.

I also loved how Odafen contrasted Uju’s own struggles against those of her friends, particularly Ada who eventually seems to internalise the sexist expectations and blame that she at first resisted.

“My dear, it is okay for a man to have a bad character as long as he is a man.”
Another interesting aspect of the book Odafen’s exploration of religion’s role in perpetuating the sexism and abuse against women, with preachers and members of the congregation readily placing the blame on marital problems and responsibility for remedying them on women. However, this is never done with any deliberate malice.

“We want women to put in everything and be okay with getting almost nothing in return.”
This was not an easy book to read, but it is an important one and, thankfully an accessible one. Odafen’s writing style made me feel like I was sitting with an elderly Uju in her living room while she recounted her experience with domestic abuse, familial expectations and societal pressures. The characters were in-depth and lifelike, reminiscent of the many women who, unfortunately, have similar experiences.

The only reason this isn’t getting a five star review is because some parts of the book were slow and the ending did leave me disappointed. While I am usually a fan of open endings, in this instance, given the near continuous heart-ache the readers endure throughout Uju's journey, it would have been nice to have had a confirmed happy ending.

This is an incredible read. I really liked the writing style, the plotline was engaging and compelling, with characters that were so well developed I felt like they could jump off of the page. I found the relationshipos between the characters really interesting to read about, I love books that contain family dynamics and I got this in bucket loads. A really enjoyable read that I would recommend.

I absolutely loved this book. Such a rich and clear story, with vibrant and fully-realized characters. I finished this book in just a few days and would fully recommend it to anyone interested in reading about mother-daughter dynamics and female relationships.

Wow, amazing read. Important and outstanding.

Thanks to Netgalley and the publishers for letting me access an advance copy of this book in exchange for my feedback.