Baek is successful, young and healthy - she has an amazing job and a good life. But she begins to see a psychiatrist about something she can't quite describe. She doesn't exactly want to die, but most of the time she doesn't have the energy to live either. She isn't happy, but she finds little moments of joy, like in her favourite snack tteokboki.

She spends all her days hiding her feelings of depression, desperation, doubt and finds it leaves her with little energy for love, friends or happiness. Over the next twelve weeks, she sits in that room with her psychiatrist trying to unravel the cycle of self-abuse and crippling hopelessness that is taking over her life.

"I wasn't deathly depressed, but I wasn't happy either, floating instead in some feeling between the two. I suffered more because I had no idea that these contradictory feelings could and did coexist."

Somewhere between memoir, diary and self-help, this book is one of the most authentically real things I've read in quite some time. A very genuine, not sensationalised account of mental health and the staggering impact it can have on a life that seems perfect on the surface. Exploring treatment, realisation, and the side-effects people often don't see, Baek gives a sense of catharsis in letting out all the suffering and pain onto the pages.

Poignant, painful but unbelievably affirming - this book feels like a personal conversation with Baek and has a strange comfort, a companionship that makes you feel less alone.

The structure was interesting, featuring transcripts of her therapy sessions and her own memories and recollections of the time - these were very dense, and I'm not sure if they've been edited as they felt somewhat scripted and unnatural at points.

For me, I found the overall flow of the story too dense and difficult to read at times, and of course there is a disparity between my own experiences with mental health in the UK and another in Korea - however this is such an important book that I'd recommend you read it anyway.

Thank you Bloomsbury, Edelweiss and Netgalley for the ARC, in exchange for an honest review.
The title and cover are excellent and I really wanted to like this book, but I’m afraid it isn’t for me. I DNF at page 74. I had expected this to be more of a memoir of depression with a bit of humour as well (the title and cover suggest at least that much) but it’s really a self-help book, existing of written down therapy sessions. I just couldn’t connect.

This book surprised me. It was very different to what I expected it to be.
In a way it felt like just like a transcript rather than a piece of non-fiction. This relates back to the fact that Baek Se-hee recorded a lot of conversations.
I liked this book, and as someone who suffers from anxiety and depression, I could relate to a lot of the thoughts and feelings within this book.

Overall I did enjoy reading this book, and it was short enough that I read it in one sitting, but I was left wanting more. I felt like it needed something more at the end to tie everything together.

I just finished, ' I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki' and what a book.

There are moments in this book where I am just like 'you can get out of my head' because it really does hit close to home in moments and taught me alot about myself, but also about others and how they work, I know that a book can't make you read people, but it did teach me alot about empathy and how to be real, but also how to be more in your own moment something that can be tough to keep a hold of and I feel this author really explores that idea in this book.

And I do get why RM would read this too, it's very much about loving yourself (a big part of BTS' message) and treating yourself with kindness. It reminds me of the lyrics, 'you give me the best of me, so you give you the best of you' from Magic Shop by BTS, as this book explores how to make yourself a better you but also reminding you that how to get better is with you all along, with all the right guidance and the right person helping you along the way. I do feel the psychiatrist allows the book balance and brings in an edge of humour with the sheer sometimes common sense of it all.

the honesty it takes to write a book like this and be open about their thoughts, emotions and feelings is really incredible and I think that this is a book that will help others comes to terms with their own as well. How she talks about the relationships she has with people around them and how their brain reacts to those people is fascinating, but also incredibly illuminating and human and that humanity shines so much in this book.

Written in such a way that is accessible for anyone to take in. I really like how this book is structured and how it explores different topics. In the appendix there also the perspective of the psychiatrist she talks to which is really enlightening, and gives a rounded experience to the book. There are moments of heartbreak (the short essay on her dogs in the appendix broke my heart), there are moments of light, but mostly moments of learning and I think that's what makes this now of my new favourite books.

thank you to Bloomsbury Books for the ARC via Netgalley! I can't wait for more people to read this.

The format of this book was really interesting as it’s told as a narrative of very personal psychiatry appointments attended by the author. It’s incredibly honest and self-exploratory, offering insight into the author’s anxieties, relationships and decisions through dialogues with her psychiatrist, which the author recorded. The small notes the author sometimes included, commenting on things such as how it just started raining when she made a certain remark, were a reminder that this is non-fiction. It would be easy to forget this wasn’t fiction, I think.

This book highlights mental health and provides a supportive and open conversation around different mental health issues including anxiety and depression. Whilst I struggled to identify with this book and fully engage with it, I did like that there was this recurring point about projecting our thoughts onto others and worrying about what we think other people are thinking rather than living in and enjoying the moment. As an overthinker and someone with social anxiety, this is making me do a lot of self-reflection and encourages me to question my thoughts and behaviour. In that sense, this book was a true gift and a great opportunity for me to look at social situations and interactions from another perspective.

The author is leaving herself open to her readers, shining a light on her darkest thoughts and traits and being incredibly honest about her mental health - it’s a really unique idea and one that I’m sure not many people would have the confidence and courage to tackle.

The note at the end from the unnamed psychiatrist was a wonderful addition to the book, particularly as I’d been intrigued by the psychiatrist’s involvement in the book as well as their approach to these sessions with the authors, so it was illuminating!

I really loved this book! It is the first self-help book that I loved, actually enjoyed reading, and didn’t DNF’ed.

Firstly, it’s part memoir, featuring the author’s therapy sessions, where she is trying to find out why she is how she is, depressed, unhappy, with low self-esteem and always puts herself down. Secondly, it’s a part self-help book, where the author explains her mental health struggles without sugar-coating or glamorising it, whilst providing some explanation on different conditions and how it is possible to tackle them. The author also talks about how she is slowly overcoming her struggles, step by step and not always in a linear fashion, taking a few steps forward but in reality stumbling some ten steps backwards.

I love the honesty, the raw truth of mental health problems and how the author talks about her struggles, how she is not afraid to talk about her feelings too. I really liked how the book was so easy to read and felt really personal, like, I felt I was the one in the therapy room having the conversation with the therapist. I devoured this book in a few hours and would love to go back read it again and annotate, and add my thoughts (hopefully can do that once I get a physical copy when it's out). It was also so relatable, as most of the author’s struggles are so universal and some of us might face more than one in our everyday life.

This book is different but in such a good way, it stands out, as it's not your traditional ‘how to take care of your mental health’, full of checklists and tips book. This book has a unique voice and true story, which makes it very raw and real, whilst teaching quite a lot about mental health from the perspective of our everyday life.

Overall: I really think we need more books like this on mental health, as for me how the author bravely shared her feelings and thoughts on mental health conditions, made me think that more conversations like this need to happen in our communities and society to get over the stigma surrounding this subject. I can’t wait until it’s released, so I can buy a physical copy, re-read it and annotate it, and have it on my bookshelf to help me when I face hard moments in my life. It is translated so well, as writing just flows. It’s also so easy to understand, and there is some extra information provided, explaining Korean cultural nuances that the reader might not be familiar with.

Honestly, a book that is really worth a place on your bookshelf.

Huge thanks to Bloomsbury and Netgalley UK for eARC!

Such an important, honest book.

Four stars because I was hoping for at least something plot-like, some through-line that would leave me satisfied, but I get that life isn’t like that, and that’s not what the book is about. It’s just whenever I put it down, I found it a little tricky to pick up again, because I knew I wasn’t going to get anywhere, and also because I was likely to be miserable afterwards!

I did read a lot of it thinking ‘this person is autistic. This is autism,’ and maybe this is a diagnosis not considered in Korea, but because of this and my own history with clinical depression, it made the book upsetting to read at times (in a deep, poignant way). I’ve been there, and I know what this person is going through. The fact that it’s true also made it tough, and it took me a long time to get through, despite it being so short.

So not a four star because anything was wrong (it’s truly a fantastic endeavour by the author, and deserving of all the acclaim - also because I’m aware these issues aren’t talked about so commonly in Korea), but because this book needs to hit the right person at the right time.

This is a piece of memoir mixed with self help. I had a hard time with this book but I don't think it's a bad book.. For me it fell into the gap of I'm glad this exists but its not for me. and I think most of that comes down to cultural context which I think is really important to consider.

This is a book talking about the authors experiences of going to a psychotherapist as a young South Korean woman in South Korea to deal with her persistent low level depression. She's not necessarily suicidal in the sense of intending to act on it but she does consider wanting to end her life. It takes the form of a series of interviews or transcripts of conversations she had with her therapist that are pretty much published word for word.. She alternates chapters by reflecting on her experiences of what her therapists have told us but it reads as an instruction manual in some respects.

This is a work of translation so the language is not as presented as in the original Korean which is entirely different from English . The conversation around mental health is at a different place in Korea. it reads like a beginner narrative and a beginner Korean narrative. It has been a bestseller in South Korea and with good reason but for the UK market picked off the shelf without the Korean cultural context it reads like a beginners guide to mental health in a very arbitrary and not very helpful way. Some parts I found deeply relatable but overall this is a instruction manual or how to guide.

This non fiction text is translated from the Korean (by Anton Hur, who I love) and the cultural context must be considered within the reception of this story by me, a white woman, living in Europe, living with mental health issues. I want to die is about persistent, low level depression.

The tedium of being slightly grey about almost everything. A particularly relatable experience, even for those who do not identify as living with mental health struggle. It is a story of coping with the blues. We are privy to the author’s meetings with her psychiatrist over a three month period, as she sits down week by week to unpack the events that have sent her into a downward spiral. The experiences again, are painfully relatable. Wanting to be liked by a new friend, waking up with hangxiety after drinks with some people you didn’t know well, loving your boyfriend despite his emotional unavailability, but it all feels a little stilted? As I say, I can’t deny the reliability, and perhaps this is my deflection of that, but the psychological analysis of said feelings and events feels basic, superficial. Although described as psychiatrist (which may just be the most appropriate translation for a role that isn’t a direct replica in the S. Korea to USA/UK field), the mental health professional is essentially offering CBT to her.

Again, this is relatable, and not wholly an issue in and unto itself (although many chronically ill and disabled people have struggled with CBT being weaponised against them in poorly handled ‘treatment’ programs). And, perhaps that is the method most used in Korea as it is in the UK, but reading the thought processes of the author within her therapy sessions, kind of makes me want to scream? It is so far at least, a remedial look at mental health. However, and this is a big however, when we consider translated works, whether fiction or nonfiction, the original intended audience and the cultural context of the story’s birthplace must be considered.

I am no expert in the experiences of South Korean young people, but from what I have read around it, and time spent there, it appears the conversations around mental ill health are at a different stage in the public consciousness than they are here. That isn’t to say we are doing it right at all, in fact we are failing so many people, daily. But the byline of this story as a number one bestseller in Korea, would align with the idea that the market for books honestly depicting everyday mental health struggles, are less frequent than they are in the UK / Europe. There is also scope to say, I am glad this book is being translated, because there is still an audience for whom it will benefit, namely folks, either younger or just late to experience depression, that will glean good advice, feel reflected in the tales of loneliness and perhaps even implement some strategies into their life too. So far, it is a case of ‘this book book isn’t for me, but I am glad it exists’

When I saw that this book was recommended by BTS RM, I was sold! (I have recently entered BTS world, I am such a sucker for boybands!) Anyway, the man has really good taste in books so I trust his judgement.

I didn't expect this memoir to be so relatable to me. Despite being from different cultures and background, I saw myself in many of the sessions with her therapist. It is told from transcripts of her sessions and also throws in between her own thoughts.

This is not a super deep read but good enough to get a grasp on how a young woman deals with her mental health in Korea. It is raw and honest. The translation is superb.

Two things, beware of the trigger warnings (dark thoughts, mention of sexual assault and suicidal thoughts) and also there is no mention of the food in the book. I think naming the food on the title is a metaphor.

3.5 rounded up to a 4

This book is more of a 3 star I will admit but because of how much I identified with the author and her struggles it will be a book I think about more than most 3 stars.
The book is predominantly the transcripts between the author and her therapist. While I found them relatable and gave me some thoughts, it eventually came off as a smidge preachy and like self help book.
The highlight of this section was the epilogue and the psychologists comments. I found them to be grounded in the real struggles of one with mental health struggles and as real people.
The end of the book has some vignettes?? Which were a chance for the author to actually use her own writing. They were interspersed with nice musings.
It’s an interesting take on this subject but can be quite surface level.

Thank you to NetGalley, Baek Sehee and the publisher for sending me an advanced copy of this in exchange for an honest review.

I loved the premise of this book, and thought I’d enjoy the format of conversations between the protagonist and her therapist, but it made it harder for me to enjoy reading it. Overall though it’s a hopeful and uplifting book to read, with an inspiring message behind it. I feel like it just wasn’t my style, but a lot of other people would enjoy it more.

I was lucky enough to get an eARC via NetGalley from Bloomsbury for this title and I’ll admit I requested it purely because Anton Hur translated it. What follows is an honest review.

I read the blurb before stating which explained this is part-memoir and part-self help. Having read it I can tell you it’s also split into 2 parts: transcripts of therapy sessions and short essays/reflections/musings, preceded by a note from the author and a note from the psychiatrist (who admits they only read the book post-publication, although they were approached for and gave permission for their words to be used from the sessions).

Reading the book, the translation feels smooth (not knowing the original I can’t guarantee this!) with English phrasing fitting the session dialogue and the musings that follow. It’s almost too smooth, which I suspect is a product of the original. The book is after all about someone with mild depression who is by their own admission is oversensitive, their reflections are personal and related to their own experience.

I’ll be equally open in pointing out I have been given the opportunity for therapy more than once and found it did not suit me personally. As chronic over-thinker several parts of the dialogues are relatable and I expect many readers will feel the same way. The suggestions of reframing from the psychiatrist might even be very helpful.

The briefness of the chapters and sections work well and for some readers will make it a really good experience, but for it added to the feeling of a shallow/surface level structure. Not that depth is necessarily required but personally most sections were not memorable, making this a work to return to in order to work through - again possibly a god thing for another reader.

It was hard to tell where the prescribed medicine was perhaps causing more problems than it was solving. This is a bestseller in South Korea and it’s not hard to see why. There is much to identify with, even across cultural boundaries as we judge and are judged by people and society with expectations and goalposts constantly moving. How much any reader will get out of this is entirely personal, but I do applaud the author for opening up and reaching out.

I really wanted to love this book - I've heard so many good things about it and I'm always down for a book exploring mental health and therapy. My issue was how difficult the reading experience was because of how the book is structured. I think I went into this book thinking it was going to be a collection of essays, or at least fragmented observations on mental health/therapy - when in actuality, most of the book is transcripts from the author's therapy sessions. Which became so difficult to read because they weren't...interesting. Which therapy isn't supposed to be interesting for outsiders - I know that, I'm in it. So putting it into a book where you have to read a therapy session - yeah, not for me.

Thank you to Netgalley for providing the ARC.

I read this mildly hungover in the early hours in the morning and nearly cried because of how much this resonated with me. I would recommend this book to anyone who's ever experienced depression, especially on a long-term scale. There's a lot of wisdom and self-reflection in this book that could be uncomfortable but well worth the read.

An interesting and extremely personal insight into mental health in a cultural setting not normally shown to the Western world. I really enjoyed the way this is told through conversations between a psychiatrist and her patient spinkled in with essays and thoughts. However I do think that it started to get repetitive as it progressed, with an endless cycle of depressive thoughts. While I do think think this is a good reflection on how the mind works when you have depression, endlessly circling with no end in sight and obsessive thoughts, I do think it could have been more creative in the way the book demonstrated this.

I actually didn't know this was nonfiction when I started to read it, and it's not something I would normally choose to read. I personally think this is quite dark and I found I had to put this down and stop reading for quite a while as I started to get my own dark thoughts. I'd definitely advice anyone thinking of picking this up to consider their personal triggers first, especially if you suffer from depression.

Candid and honest, but also quite a dark and oppressive readbthat threatens to ck sume the reader with dark thoughts.

A candid look at living with dysthymia -- a form of constant, mild (is that really the right word for it?) depression where you feel quite crap, but you still want to enjoy a serving of tteokpokkie every once in a while.

Author Baek Se-hee uses transcripts from her recorded therapy sessions to give readers an honest insight into her experiences with dysthymia. It's not a self-help book on how to overcome depression; it's just a chance for people to relate to her experiences, or understand what it can look like for someone who struggles with this diagnosis. She doesn't censor herself or paint herself in a better light. Instead, she reveals all the unflattering and less than generous thoughts she has about herself and about others. It's never very profound or thought-provoking. It's just a portrayal of ordinary life. It's also an unsympathetic portrayal. I sometimes found myself not liking what I read, probably because I recognized the things she were sharing in her sessions are the kinds of things many of us think but know we can't say out loud, outside of therapy. And of course, because this is a look into her real-life experiences with a persistent state of depression, it doesn't wrap up with a neat bow at the end -- there's no character development or improvement or miracle cure. Baek Se-hee recognizes that, while she is getting better in many ways, this is something she will always have to work with.

All in all, I appreciate what this book does from a representation and taboo-lifting point of view. At the same time, it didn't make sense to me in the book format (maybe it would work better as a blog?). As a book, it felt quite middling and I personally didn't get much out of it. Also, I was very confused by the texts in the appendix, after the epilogue? It felt very incohesive. Still, I'm glad that this exists if it can offer even one person out there some comfort.

I was intrigued by this book - the recent increase in books from Japan and Korea (often in translation) have really expanded my knowledge and reading journey.
This book just didn't do it for me - although I can see that if marketed as being ideal for fans of Sally Rooney it will do well.

A quick read which features a series of transcripts from the author's therapy sessions.
Self love and self acceptance are indeed two of the most important things to internalize within ourselves.

* I was provided with a free ebook copy of this book in exchange for an unbiased review. Thank you to the author, the publisher and NetGalley.

This is nonfiction about the author's experiences with mental health and is mainly made up of transcripts of her therapy sessions. It was a fascinating read and I think it was very brave of the author to share it. I think that most people will see a little bit of themselves in this book. It's very short but is a thought-provoking read I think most people would benefit from.