Big kiss to NetGalley, Baek SeHee, Anton Hur, Bloomsbury, and all involved for the advanced copy of this book ! <3

Often pushed as a "self-help book" 'I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki' is better when you read it as an autobiography and dont follow the advice given (or you can if you want I guess but thats not the best part about it). Brutally honest SeHee discusses her personal relationships and feelings of anger, sadness and self-loathing with her therapist who tries to help her with those feelings and fix her relationships with those around her.

I really enjoyed this book and found it a really interesting take on self-help books. I especially liked the way the text was transcribed from the therapy sessions and the additional notes from the author throughout the text to add context both in relation to her mental health and her personal life. I really liked the therapist note at the end as well because it was an interesting take which was separate from the narrator even if we had been hearing her words throughout it was nice to get a take from her perspective.

I really want to shoutout the translator in my review (aka Anton Hur) because I liked how they added in context for some of the uniquely Korean experiences that the reader may not be familiar with! I found it illuminating and really nice way of keeping it in the original context without sacrificing the readers knowledge of what was happening.

Kind of sad there was little to no discussion of food- i claim that as false advertising.

There was something about the title and cover of this book that brought to mind Ottessa Moshfegh’s My Year of Rest and Relaxation and a line from Madame Bovary: ‘She wanted both to die and to live in Paris’. Naturally, me being a fan of both of those novels, I found myself intrigued by I Want to Die But I Want to Eat Tteokbokki. This is a relatively short read which is made up of the transcripts from the author’s session with her psychiatrist over a 12-week period. While there are occasional breaks in this patient/psychiatrist dialogue, these are brief, lasting one or two pages and consist of the author musing on the words of her psychiatrist or offering her own words of wisdom. Now, on the one hand, I appreciated reading these sessions as they lead to discussions on self-esteem, depression, anxiety, peer pressure, one’s desire to fit in and be liked, toxic relationships, etc. Baek’s worries and everyday tribulations will likely resonate with many millennials. While I appreciate the honesty that radiated from these sessions, and from her willingness to confront, assess, and critique aspects of herself, I did grow a tad bored by them. I remember coming across a book (i think it was a book) where a character comments on how, most of the time, other people’s dreams do not strike us as interesting as our own ones. Well, this is how I feel about this book. Baek, understandably, finds these sessions to be enlightening as through them she gains self-knowledge and a more nuanced understanding of her mental health, I did not. As I said, I could certainly relate to some of the conversations they have around self-esteem and self-perception, but at the end of the day, these sessions were tailored for Baek, and I couldn’t help but feel a bit uneasy at being ‘invited’ in. Maybe because I have always associated therapists/psychiatrists with privacy, but there were several instances where I wanted to bow out and leave Baek some space. Part of me wishes that this book could have taken only certain exchanges from her sessions, and incorporated these into longer pieces where the author considers the issues they discussed. In short, I wanted to hear more from Baek, and less from her psychiatrist. If I were to record my hypothetical sessions with a therapist or whoever, I doubt anyone would want to read transcripts of it. And if they did, well, that’s kind of sus.
Anyway, jokes aside, this was by no means a bad book. I just think it could have benefitted from more original content (ie mini-essays/think pieces).

I Want To Die… is a memoir of depression, mostly told through transcribed recordings of Baek’s conversations with her therapist. While mental health is an important topic – and one that is still largely taboo in Korea – this exploration of it is messy and repetitive, its message somewhat defeated by its poor structure.

I wanted to relate to Baek in so many ways, but I found it difficult to connect with her writing, which, despite the conversational formal, seems somewhat detached. As a memoir, it is also intensely personal – which in itself is no bad thing, but I did wish that Baek would sometimes look outward a little more, to put her story in context.

While I appreciate this book’s significance in Korea, sadly I personally found it a disappointing read.

Some thoughts on I want to die but I want to eat tteokbokki…

I’d like to say first and foremost that I very rarely read non fiction, and when I do, it’s exclusively memoirs. When I dove into this I thought it would be more memoir than self help, but the bulk of this novel is transcriptions of conversations between the author and her psychiatrist.

Initially stilting, I grew used to this format and enjoyed watching the author’s growth from session 1 through to 12, but not in a meaningful way to me. I did resonate with some of what she felt, struggling with anxiety myself, but by the end of the book I found myself thinking it was a bit repetitive and bordering on cliché at times. I actually think I would have enjoyed this more in audio format.

And despite the title of the novel, there was a distinct lack of food talk! Which I was expecting more of.

Overall it’s a short read, and there are some lessons to take home on managing your anxiety and framing your thoughts in a healthy way, but this wasn’t the book for me.

thank you to @netgalley and @bloomsburypublishing for my e-arc of this book

This book is a deeply personal and tender account of mental health; without the glamourising, the confusion or downright pity. I loved this book because of the way it didn’t try to do or be too much. It was easy to read, and I felt myself fall into the book from page three. I can completely understand why this book has already received so much praise and love before it’s even been published in English!

I generally don’t read a lot of ‘self-help’ books, but this book is more comforting story than a checklist of how to ‘get over’ mental illness. There is a lot of lessons to take from this book, namely that you are special and your place in the world is meant to be. It brings a lot of insight into the human mind and the way we connect with others. It also puts words into feelings that is otherwise sometimes hard to explain.

This book is soothing, raw and honest. I really look forward for it’s release as I know it will connect with a lot of readers and bring some comfort and happiness.

This is a book that some reader might relate to. This is part memoir and part self help and features the author's therapy sessions. What she reveals as her struggles are universal, what we all might face in our daily life. Sometimes while reading it feels the dialogue is between you (reader) and the therapist.

A quick read which features a series of transcripts from the author's therapy sessions. Baek Se-hee is a 30-something young woman working in publishing. Her struggles are universal - she has low self-esteem, is overly self critical, has body image hangups - but they shed light on some of the issues faced by many young women in contemporary South Korea. (A very different tone and very different issues from another recent read: Sang Young Park's Love in the Big City - incidentally also translated by Anton Hur.)

I think if you go into this expecting a light(ish) read, and don't expect loads of revelatory insights on the benefits of therapy then you might enjoy this (I found a lot of the therapist's advice pretty straightforward and obvious but maybe that's my own issue!). As a woman of a similar age I found myself able to relate to a fair few of Baek's issues and personal struggles - we're both introverts, for one thing - which made this more of a compelling read for me personally. Not sure quite who I'd recommend this to, but I largely enjoyed my time reading it.

"I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki" by Baek SeHee is something that we don't get to experience too often: a journey of the therapy process written from the perspective of a client/patient. It was an interesting insight to the therapy culture of South Korea, where it seems the psychiatrist acts as a therapist at the same time, which, in fact, is quite rare.

I think this book does one thing well: normalises so-called highly functioning depression and receiving treatment, as well as setting realistic expectations for the therapeutic intervention.

However, I found myself a bit taken aback by the content as Baek comes across as quite self-centred, which then seems to be confirmed by her diagnosis of HPD. As a mental health practitioner, I felt quite uneasy, knowing that the author was recording her psychotherapy sessions (even with her doctor's consent) as it was confirmed by the psychiatrist to have caused them to be more cautious with words. This made me think, how authentic the process itself might have been.

Of course, what we get presented in the book, are only snippets of quite lengthy sessions, chosen and curated by the author, which also needs to be acknowledged. But I think the title suggested something way more profound than the content. I also think that using "self-help" to describe this book is way off as the author is simply sharing her experiences of therapy and does not offer universal solutions.

This was a slight but affecting memoir about mental health. The book reads almost like a script, with every chapter being a dialogue between the author and her psychiatrist. I felt this format could have worn thin if the book had been longer but it was just the right length and it meant that we could almost see in real time the authors mental health journey. The author makes some wonderful and succinct statements about mental health and self betterment and this was a very life affirming and enjoyable read.

I Want To Die But I Want To Eat Tteokbokki is a perfectly named memoir/exploration of the female mind and process of therapy. The writer details her therapy sessions and delves further into her thoughts while transcribing the appointments, the additional notes from the psychologist and notes on Baek’s life, pets and attitude towards feminism and xenophobia are also an interesting insight and oftentimes very relateable.

3.5 - 4stars

Tw: focuses on dark thoughts, mentions of suicide & sexual assault.

I really enjoyed how she used her therapy conversations in the book, it felt like I was reading her text messages and I made the book a fast read.

It was interesting to see her outlook on life and everything in between.

This book can be triggering as it focuses on her dark thoughts in detail as you see everything she thinks and was thinking at that time

Thank you netgalley & publishers for letting me read this

Baek Se-Hee is successful young social media Director at a Publishing House when she begins to see a psychiatrist about her depression (anxiousness, self doubt and judgemental mindset of others). This book details that actual conversations between the two as well as Baek Se-Hee's own thoughts about her journey,

This was a really interesting perspective to read not only the person experiencing the issues relate their experience but also the psychiatrists own words in response. I couldn't relate to all of the issues but the self doubt and anxiety did strike a chord. This was a really interesting and unflinching look at mental health issues from a very honest and open person.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for a copy of the book in exchange for an honest review.

The first few pages drew me in so quickly - it was super immersive and intriguing.
I loved that the MC logs her thoughts in that way because it almost seemed like I was reading a podcast transcript - it did get a bit tedious and repetitive at moments but for the most part I liked the discussions on life, mental health and balancing between 2 extremes.
The last few pages were excellent as well- although I wished we had the context at the back of the book to the front.
(Slightly disappointed we didn't get much talk about tteokboki🥺).
In conclusion, it was a wonderful and immersive book that helped me look deeper at myself and how I present myself to the world.
4/5 stars!

Fascinating read with an insightful look at mental health struggles that young women in Korea may face.

I Want to Die But I Want to Eat Tteokbokki gives you an intimate look into the author’s feelings of depression and her dialogues with a psychiatrist. Before you pick up this book, think about why you want to read it. Is it because RM from BTS recommended it, or maybe because you are going through something similar to the author or just because you love tteokbokki and the title caught your attention. Your intention influences your expectations. What kind of takeaway are you looking for?

I can’t judge the way depression is described, but I can describe what it makes me feel as a reader eager to experience why this book is a bestseller.

Comparing contradictions

In the author’s dialogues with her psychiatrist, you read how her upbringing and love-hate relationship with her older sister led to low self-esteem and a tendency toward co-dependency in relationships. From the words of the very talkative psychiatrist, you can distill tips for improving interactions in your daily life, such as how to shift your perspective from other people’s pasts to your present and you can start to perceive your personal experiences more clearly.

Over the course of twelve sessions, she learns that it is natural for contradicting feelings to exist – just read the book’s title – but that a black-and-white reaction to them might be a bit extreme. Another important lesson she tries to apply to everyday life is that you can show empathy and still share your own hardships without comparing who has it worse. Such things help you be more gentle with thoughts and judgments you have about your own interactions. Not everything has to be perfect.

Up and down (and up again?)

At first, I saw each chapter as an opportunity for self-reflection. In between the dialogues, the author shares some takeaways and at the end of the book you will find more self-reflections and thoughts on things in life. The dialogues are quite detailed and do not reflect the way someone naturally talks with interjections, rephrasing and colloquialism. This is done for a better reading experience, but does give the feeling of a conversation that has been edited to make a point. I do like the rare comments between brackets that convey the author’s thoughts on the therapy sessions.

At some point the dialogues start to get repetitive, but that is to be expected, as you can’t cure serious problems overnight. This led me to wonder what the book would have been like if there had been chapters on how the author applies the lessons to everyday life in a story form, making the book less dialogue- and essay-dependent. Somewhere halfway through, my interest dwindled. This may be different for you if your experience or expectations are more in line with the author's. For everyone else, this is not an entertaining story or a generic self-help book, but rather an account of someone’s personal journey and her thoughts on it.

Compared to the essays at the end, the dialogues seem lighter because they show progression. I wonder if all the essays should have been placed before the dialogues or in between, so that the book ends with her wish and her path of improvement, on a lighter note. Reading the last essays felt like ending in a downward spiral that even managed to affect my mood a bit.

"I see now that people live like this"

The author’s goal is as follows: “In the end, my hope is for people to read this book and think, I wasn’t the only person who felt like this; or, I see now that people live with this.” If this is what you need, read this book. I Want to Die But I Want to Eat Tteokbokki is first and foremost a collection of dialogues and essays about the author’s experiences dealing with depression, anxiety, and dysthymia. I appreciate the candor with which the author wrote this book. It takes a lot of courage because new people she meets will now know these things about her, which can be a good or a bad thing depending on how she deals with her co-dependency.

I did have a takeaway of my own, namely a reminder that I would very much like to prioritize my dreams over my reality. But all change is hard, and it is incredibly difficult to change behavior and find the courage to give up stability and everything else that is familiar. That’s something I live with.