Thank you Netgalley for the advance reader copy of Sorry for Your Loss by Kate Marshall and Linda Watson-Brown in exchange for an honest review. When I was in college I interned at the Stanislaus County Coroner's Office and learned a lot. It was an amazing experience and I got my degree in Criminal Justice. When I saw this ARC available, I thought it would be very interesting as it was like my experience, but totally different. It's in a different country with different way things are done. It was intriguing to read about how she got there and how well it fit her life.

💗“All of these experiences were giving me some clarity. I was starting to see that some of the things we get hung up on just don’t matter. I was seeing patterns within the grief. How love presented itself in death, how families reacted to losing someone, how the way we are in life writes the final chapter. One thing which came up frequently was people saying that they had only “popped out for a minute” or “just gone to the loo” after days of watching their mum or dad or partner towards the end, and yet that was when they had passed. I started to wonder if there is actually some way in which people can die when they want to, whether there is a small part of control at the very end. Families can watch for days, leave the room or the bedside for seconds, and it happens. Maybe it’s the last act of love – sparing someone you love the agony of seeing you take a final breath.”

I thought this was an amazing book, written from a very kind and loving perspective. I actually finished it several weeks ago and was so overcome by the stories and the author’s observations that I needed to think about my review.

Kate Marshall took a subject we are rarely comfortable discussing or questioning—death—and removed some of the mystery by openly sharing her reality of life in a hospital mortuary. I was impressed by the level of respect and compassion shown for the bodies they cared for, and for the families they helped through the process.

Each time I read through my highlighted passages, I think, “Yes—that’s exactly right.” Maybe because my own mother’s death is still fresh, and Kate put many of my emotions into words. Here are some that I found especially meaningful.

💗“It’s all these little things that people dwell on and want to erase or rewrite. They beat themselves up about them. But, actually, do you know what? It’s often clear the departed were very much loved and they had normal relationships in normal lives. Those who are left behind, though, often want every single, enduring memory to be a positive one. Unfortunately, life isn’t like that. There are some families who do it better than others…”

💗“This is why I think we need to talk more openly about death – not just the practical side of things, what we’ll wear and who will get your earrings – but the emotional side, too. That sounds like a heavy conversation to have but that’s only because we put death in a pushed-away, little box of things that are distasteful to discuss. We don’t want to upset anyone about it, we don’t even want to raise it.”

💗”People whose partners, spouses or parents are no longer with us are expected, too often, to have a time limit on their grief and then the person will never be mentioned again. The only way to get through grief is to get through it, if that makes sense. The only way to deal with your new normal is to talk about them. You go through the pain barrier that way. It’s awful and it’s hard, but never having a conversation again about who you’ve lost is not the way to pay tribute to them.”

💗”I’ve lived among the dead for longer than I would have thought, and they have taught me more than I could ever have imagined. If I could reach out and thank each and every one of them for adding to the tapestry that has brought me to this place of understanding, I would. We’ll all go through this and all that I know is that love will be what matters when it’s your time. Don’t be afraid to show affection, don’t be afraid to stop working and listen to old stories, don’t be afraid of what lies behind the curtain.”

Thank you to the publishers at NetGalley for the advanced reader copy for review.

Kate Marshall is clearly an extremely empathetic person and cares deeply for the people she interacts with during her job. If one of my loved ones were to pass I would want her or someone like her to take care of them in the interim. The stories here are heart-wrenching and raw and worth telling. It's unfortunate that they are stuck in this particular edit because there is a good book somewhere in here but the editing choices have really diminished that.
The almost stream of consciousness way in which it is presented means that certain concepts are repeated over and over again making the reader feel like they might have somehow backtracked within the book and it really takes away from the enjoyment and more importantly the emotion of it. I think it needs another run-through with an editor or presented in a different way. Ideally, the stories would be presented by themes such as the expedited burial get its own chapter, one with mortality and loss when it comes to minors and another one when it comes to unclaimed bodies or bodies that stay in there for an extended period of time and each of them have their own chapter rather than interspersing them seemingly at random through a chronological tally.
I wish I could recommend this book but I can't, maybe if another Edition comes out with it reorganized I would be more inclined to read it but as it is it's a skip.

A heart-wrenching memoir that brings death right to our threshold - and injects hope for the living.

Kate Marshall reflects upon grief and death in 'Sorry for Your Loss: What Working with the Dead Taught Me About Life,' poignant recollections that make you question your life choices.

Fate certainly had big plans for the author, who landed a job she never dreamt about. She became a member of the Bereavement Department of a hospital in the UK. Her labor obligations included, among other things,
organizing viewings (the relatives of the deceased come to say their last goodbye),
paperwork for the release of the bodies to funeral houses,
body Jenga, switching the bodies inside the refrigerators and freezers to free the space for the new arrivals.
The book, structured according to the chronological order (starting with 2019), describes the most notable cases, like a woman who visited her deceased baby for two weeks and read books to her and couldn't let the baby go. The story dispels myths from American TV shows that have nothing to do with reality in the UK. Thus, the book is much-needed practical guidance for UK residents who know nothing about hospital mortuaries and funerals.

The usage of exclamation marks and the somewhat chaotic character of the narrative is what made me remove stars from my rating. The stark contrast between the obviously sad topic and the author's excitement (when, for example, relatives took away the false teeth of the deceased instead of his personal items) gave memoirs a flair of naivety.

I can't recommend 'Sorry for Your Loss' to people with mental health problems. The author directly appeals to the readers' emotions, inviting them to share the grief and sorrow she felt while communicating with relatives of the deceased. For some people, the emotional element of the story will be too much to bear.

I recommend the book to people not afraid to reflect on life and death. After all, the author wants the readers to reevaluate their priorities.

'We'll all go through this <death> and all that I know is that love will be what matters when it's your time. Don't be afraid to show affection, don't be afraid to stop working and listen to old stories, don't be afraid of what lies behind the curtain.'

(The quote may be different in the final version of the book).

I received an advance review copy through NetGalley, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

Content warnings: death of people of all ages, grief, Covid, mention of post-mortem, body horror, terminal illness, miscarriage, stillbirth

In this book the reader is taken on a journey through a year of the author working in a major hospitals mortuary. During the course of this book, Marshall weaves interesting stories about people that have died and those who grieve them with an over-arching message about living life not fearing death.

This book definitely left me sobbing multiple times - I was especially not expecting the stories about miscarriages and babies who have died - but there are also quite a number of funny anecdotes. Every single story is told with the utmost respect and there is definitely a feeling of celebrating and remembering those who have died.

This is definitely the kind of book that you need to be in a good headspace to read but the author and their ghost-writer are clearly excellent story tellers which is definitely needed in the kind of book that this is.

“Sorry For Your Loss: What Working with the Dead Taught Me About Life,” by Kate Marshall with Linda Watson-Brown (ISBN: 9781914451560, Publication Date: 21 Jul 2022), earns two stars.

The book is a memoir, a series of recollections and reflections, really on death and the living by a person working in a British hospital mortuary. Frankly, I’m not sure what I expected when I selected this book to read, and having read it, I’m not sure how I feel about it. I thought perhaps that the book might reveal an epiphany or two, but that was not to be. Instead, many of the anecdotes brought back memories from my days working in hospitals, recalling how the staff cared for the patients, the deceased, and their families. Apart from that, I thought the book spent too much time of the macabre.

Thanks to the publisher, Mardle, for granting this reviewer this opportunity to read this Advance Reader Copy (ARC), and thanks to NetGalley for helping to make that possible.

Very repetitive. It needed a good editor. Its an interesting read though so I would still recommend it.

Sorry for your Loss is the diary of a mortuary worker, starting in 2019 and continuing through the pandemic, detailing the ins and outs of a job so few people give thought to until they lose someone they love. The book seeks to normalise conversations about death, to demystify the protocols around what happens when we die and to provide interesting stories of the people and personalities that come through the doors of the mortuary - both living and dead. I enjoyed the book but struggled with the style of writing - flitting from one story to the next, repetitive at times and skimming over the more emotional and evocative things. I feel the use of a ghost writer is to the detriment of this novel, and would love to hear Kate Marshall speak in person as I'm sure she tells these tales with far more verve. She certainly comes across as a fascinating, kind and lovely lady with plenty to say, but the scattergun approach to the storytelling does her no favours.

This was OK but I have read that many like it that I didn't really find anything different. It was not a bad book though, interesting stories and some funny, some sad and a good message behind the book.

Have you ever wondered what happens when a loved one passes and before they go to a funeral home? Sorry For Your Loss gives a firsthand report of what comes next.

Opened my eyes into a different aspect of afterlife care. I find mortuary related services to be very interesting. Explains the processes for managing all ages, religions and types of death. Includes stories of bizarre encounters with families, heartbreaking goodbyes and struggles.

I would say this reads like a blog or conversation with a friend more than your average book. At times, I found it to be a bit repetitive. The author explains how she got into this profession and why she enjoys it.

All handled with utmost respect without being macabre or gruesome.


First hand look at COVID 19 deaths. The book is written in chapters with dates going right into early 2020 when Covid hit. The author explains how it started as nothing and became a life changing event.

I think this book and others like it are good for everyone to read. Death doesn’t have to be scary. It is nice to know that our loved ones are treated with respect and care.

Thank you NetGalley for sending me this book. I have written this review voluntarily.

This was a very unusual book for me to pick - it fascinated me to hear about Katie and her job in the mortuary. A fantastic insight of the job and the trials and tribulations she experienced on a day to day basis, Katie seems such a wonderful caring and compassionate person who obviously loved the job and cared for the deceased and their relatives. At times I held my breath with emotion, how she had to deal with difficult relations and the things she was asked to do and yet she still showed great compassion. The last few chapters that dealt with covid just reinforced how difficult peoples jobs were and yet the expectations and pressure placed on them when they had such despair and exhaustion themselves was hard to not feel great sadness. I felt this was a very emotional read but told with such great skill that it truly gave you an insight as to what an important job the mortuary plays in our final journey of life.

A generous and heartfelt tale of life working in a hospital mortuary. I found it entirely fascinating!

From young to old each of us will one day end up in the basement of a hospital but what actually is involved in caring for the dead. This book tells of the card and compassion provided to those who have died and who loved them.

Sad in parts and humorous in others. The dead become people again when the stories of their lives are told by those that visit them or indeed when they have no-one.

From dealing with mortuary worker wannabes and the insta generation to the ladies who make tiny bassinets for babies from ice cream tubs and knit tiny clothes. A truly honest account of care after death.

I really enjoy reading books about mortuaries - especially memoirs. It's always really fascinating to see what sort of jobs people do, what are the working hazards, what's the emotional toll for working so close to death... I liked most of this book but I would've liked it more if it wasn't so repetitive. We learn that Muslims need a fast burial, the Irish are rather cheerful when staring at death, the moms who have lost their babies can dress their dead child (which I found to be really morbid). Then we read about these exacts topics again, and again, and again. There's nothing new added to them they're just repeated over and over - which gets tedious. I think the book needs to be edited and tightened up for an enjoyable reading experience.

The hospital mortuary is not a place we think about when we think about care of our loved ones.
But Marshall - a mortuary worker - is someone who is there for us at the saddest times.
In this touching memoir she writes about the sorriest of circumstances: bereaved parents, unclaimed dead, suicides, but she does so with compassion.
We learn that death is very much part of the everyday, but that our dead should still be afforded the respect and love they deserve.
There are touches that break your heart: elderly ladies knitting and decorating ice cream tubs to look like tiny exquisite cots for pre-term babies who have died.
You really feel for Marshall - she has to move the heaviest bodies to accommodate new arrivals: a job the porters don’t want to do. And her writing on the pandemic is so sad as she and her colleagues struggle to provide the space and care needed, although relatives are no longer allowed into the mortuary to be with their family members.
Marshall is not afraid to give her own opinions and judgements but that makes for an authentic voice.
Recommended: a heartfelt and heartening glimpse into a world few of us see or acknowledge.

A completely fascinating account of the author’s first year working in the mortuary of a large NHS hospital.
The author comes across as completely dedicated to her job and, should you be unfortunate enough to have to visit a loved one in a mortuary, you would absolutely hope that Kate, or someone very like her, is on hand both to meet you and care for your loved one – because they may have passed but there’s no mistaking the author’s genuine desire that the deceased are treated with dignity and respect.

The tales within the book vary from incredibly sad (as you might expect) but also sometimes unexpectedly amusing (as long as dark humour is your thing!). Some people turn up at the mortuary viewing room obviously devastated by their loss, whereas others are hoping merely to inherit something from the deceased.
A truly informative book, I would definitely recommend it to almost anyone – because one thing we can guarantee in life is that we’ll have to deal with death and this book should help with that.

My only slight reservation is that the author is keen to appear entirely non-judgemental but when one husband asks for a piece of his wife’s body jewellery (admittedly an unusual piece) and also asks for her to be dressed in a very particular way in the coffin, the author is actually unnecessarily judgemental about this I felt – she offered the husband the wife’s earrings but then was horrified by the jewellery he actually wanted. Well, why? They were partners in life – if he could have the earrings he should’ve have been welcome to the other body jewellery too. And if you can ask for the body to be dressed, why shouldn’t someone ask for it to be dressed in clothes the deceased may have loved to wear in life? Bits were also slightly repetitive but not enough to spoil the book.

I love reading about this topic, it's not something you hear a lot about. The writing was easy to get into and I loved reading about all these different experiences with the dead.

Really enjoyed reading this book and I would definitely recommend this if this is something you are interested in.

I also recommend this for people who work in healthcare, it seems like a lot of people forget this is part of the system too and it's really underrated. It really warmed my heart how much care is taken of the dead and their family.

I have always been interested in books about death and was really looking forward to this one; unfortunately it did miss the mark for me. The tone of the book reads quite well - a bit like a conversation; it feels casual but warm, and I liked the author - if I ever have to visit a loved one in a mortuary, I would hope to meet someone like her. But the book overall lacked dynamism and structure, it felt like a catalogue of dead people and anecdotes rather than a more structured commentary - despite intelligent remarks on the cost of funeral, grief and Covid.

This was such an eye opener into the medical mortuary world. It gave me a look into Kate’s everyday work in a hospital mortuary. It shows the horror, heartache, and heart-warming moments (I actually laughed at some parts). Definitely worth a read!

I really enjoyed this book. The author has a very conversational style and quite the story to tell. I would be able to sit and read her stories all day. Highly recommend this one!

I loved this memoir! Kate has a lovely style of writing and it is just like sitting with her while she reminisces, the book sometimes following a thought all the way through to the end but sometimes like a butterfly hopping from memory to memory, a piece of wisdom to a fact about how things work in the mortuary of an English hospital.
I am the same age as Kate with similarly aged children and my thoughts have turned more to my death since Covid has come to town. My parents have also aged rapidly over the last few years and how I honour them in death, mixing their wishes with my own is very poignant. Kate is absolutely correct when she says we need to talk about death more in our culture and normalise it. It has just occurred to me that while I have full funeral instructions for one of my parents, the other hasn’t even mentioned whether they want to be buried or cremated.
When we clapped for the NHS we didn’t think about Kate and her team, after all who thinks about mortuaries at all unless they are forced to, but this book has integrated them (in my mind) into the grand machine that is the NHS: a cog no smaller and less significant than nurses, doctors or any of the other health service staff.

Having read and not rated particularly highly, another hospital memoir that covers the period of the height of the pandemic I totally recommend this one to anyone and everyone.