“I can’t stop laughing. Joan’s gaze meets mine, and she cracks up too, eyes crinkling, her hand still on my back and her forehead falling on to my shoulder as her whole body shakes with laughter. I feel it reverberate in my bones, the soymilk’s sweetness still lingering in my mouth.”

I have lived most of my life online, flitting from fandom to fandom, and through that I have found some of the most wonderful people, and have curated the most beautiful friendships and relationships with so many people - people that have changed my life, people that I otherwise would have never got to know. People that live near me, people in other continents, even people that live on the other side of the world.

If You Still Recognise Me is a stunning novel, in the same vein as Letter’s To Juliet but with more heart and culture, that pays homage to the wild wonders and specialty of online fandoms, and the relationships you can form through your screen, with just words typed on a keyboard, using only your fingers so very perfectly.

Portrayals of fan culture can often be hit and miss, sometimes seeming like the author is trying far too hard to be relatable that it comes off corny, unnatural, stale and so very forced…Cynthia So made sure that that tired narrative was eradicated from this book.

Instead of stale, her own take on fan culture felt revitalised, with fresh perspectives and realistic portrayals of teenage fangirls in close knit fandom spaces.

My romantic relationships have only ever been online. It’s a hard line to walk, there are infinite difficulties that factor into whether a long distance relationship is suitable; or, in the case of you being close friends before you start an relationship with them, whether you can salvage the relationship that you had with them before it became one that was borne of a type of love that, while at it’s core is eerily similar yet, is so painfully different to that of the platonic love you once shared for one another.

Oftentimes, when a book has so many narratives churned into one, the impact of certain points easily get lost, and again - Cynthia So somehow managed to avoid that happening.

Every single part of what made Elise a truly remarkable main character was beautifully curated, so well thought and fleshed out.

The relationships developed between Elise and every single side-character felt so beautifully, and at times painfully, real. It didn’t feel so much like a book, like a character that isn’t really real, but like I was combing through the pages of a real person, a close friend.

Elise and her relationships (though, specifically those with her mum, Po Po, Joan and her uncle Kevin) were full of heart, so much genuine feeling pumping through the veins of all of the relationships she has, formed throughout the book or pre-existing.

There was a perfect balance between sexuality, crushes, love, fear, culture, fandom and intergenerational trauma throughout the entirety of the book, a balance that didn’t once falter or hiccup. It was steadfast and strong, and exactly what you want to see in a book like this, with so much needed representation and just as much promise.

If You Still Recognise Me is a love letter to a myriad of communities and pieces that are vital to what so many of us have grown up with, and to who so many of us have grown up to be.

Packed with a punch and sealed with a searing heartwarming feeling that will last for a long, long time, Cynthia So’s YA debut should, and I predict will, be the book that is on everybody’s lips, and everyone’s TBR lists.

5/5 stars! Thank you to Cynthia So, Little Tiger & NetGalley for my eARC in exchange for an honest review.

This was such a delightful reading experience, perfect for the summer and I couldn’t recommend If You Still Recognise Me enough.

It’s pretty safe to say that Cynthia So will be going onto my ‘author’s to watch and buy everything they ever write’ list, and what a worthy addition they are.

If You Still Recognise Me follows Elsie, a bisexual teenage girl in Oxford who spends the summer before university navigating complex family dynamics, complicated romantic relationships, and a quest to reunite a long-separated couple in the hopes of impressing her online crush.

This book is easily one of the most heart-warming things I've read this year. Elsie is an incredibly genuine protagonist, and the cast of characters that she surrounds herself with are all so well-developed and supportive that it makes for a warm, moving and completely believable story. It's also SO incredible to see such a diverse and representative group of characters and so much positive LGBTQ+ representation from so many of the book's most lovable characters.

The main story follows Elsie's own romantic relationships, but the adventurous subplot to reunite her best friend's grandmother with a former lover and the romantic struggles of side characters like Felix and Ritika were all equally interesting to read about. I found myself completely invested in so many different lives in this book, and it was so lovely to see how everything started to tie together as the story went on.

If you're looking for the perfect Pride Month read, this book is absolutely, 100% it. I'd absolutely recommend to anyone who wants a feel-good read or a completely adorable coming-of-age romance.

Elsie has had a crush on Ada for quite a while now but Ada lives in New-York, on the other side of the Atlantic and Elsie cannot bring herself to tell her how she feels.
But when Ada mentioned that her grandmother used to have a friend in Cornwall before they lost touch, Elsie, who was planning on going there with her best friend, Rikita, thinks she could find this possible long lost love of Ada's grandmother's to show Ada how she feels.
What a weird plan, you think? Well yes, Elsie's friends would agree on that but Elsie is sure that is THE thing to do. Speaking of Elsie's friends, a long-lost one has reappeared into her life after 8 years and she really has changed...

OMG OMG!! I LOVED THIS SOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!
Everything about this was great. I read it in a day, I just could not stop. I loved all the characters, the storylines, I loooved the kind of treasure hunt for the Rebecca person, I loved the friendships, the romances, THE REPRESENTATION!!! Literally almost everyone is queer and I think there's only like 4 white people in the entire book, most of the characters are east asian, Elsie and her family are from Hong-Kong, Rikita is Indian, Ada is half-Black, Joan is also from Hong-Kong.
Anyway, I laughed, I cried, I teared up, I felt frustrated... I simply felt everything and loved every single second of it. I loved how this was also about fandom and online friendships.
So so so so good, so gay, so perfect. I had an amazing time from beginning to end. Truly just an incredible debut, I CANNOT wait to meet Cynthia So at YALC and to read everything and anything else they write!!!

Elsie has just finished her A-Level exams and is ready for summer. Her crush, Ada (who happens to live overseas), has just told her about her grandmother's past love story and shown her all of the letters her best friend Theresa had sent her. In an attempt to woo Ada, Elsie takes it upon herself to find Theresa and reconnect her with the love of her life. But now, things get complicated when Elsie's childhood best friend has just come back from Hong Kong- after not speaking to her for seven years.

This book is what I needed when I was figuring out my sexuality. Elsie is bi, and her story is almost exact to mine. I think if this book were to come out back then, I might have liked it a tiny bit more than I did now. That's not to say I didn't like it! It was a beautiful story with so many important conversations weaved into it and I think it is even one of the best queer books I have read.

That being said, there were a lot of slow bits throughout the book where I felt like nothing was ever going to happen. The beginning is slow, so slow even that I thought about DNF-ing at first. I am very glad I didn't in the long run, but it has affected my overall rating of the book.

I also didn't really feel any buildup with the relationship... It just seemed like all of a sudden it was there. There wasn't a lot of chemistry beforehand. All that being said, once it was there it was SO adorable and I really loved it. I just wish I could've been more convinced that they actually had feelings for one another beforehand.

Overall, this was a truly amazing book. I would definitely recommend this to anybody who is questioning their sexuality or anyone who is struggling with coming out to their family. I will definitely look for more works from this author in the future!

Thank you to NetGalley and to Little Tiger for providing an e-ARC in exchange of an honest review.

I’ve been trying for a while to figure out why this book wasn't really for me, but I think in the end I'm just not the target audience for it. I loved the premise of If You Still Recognise Me and flew to request it on NetGalley when I first heard of it; ultimately, however, I have to admit I'm sort of disappointed considering the expectations I had initially. It was sometimes dull, and I found the main romance somewhat underwhelming and thought it lacked the buildup and longing I wanted from childhood friends to lovers. The fandom aspect also wasn't really my thing, and the importance of it in this book surprised me considering it wasn't mentioned in the summary, but this is a very minor personal issue and I think there's plenty of people who won't mind it.

That being said, there were still a lot of things I liked about this book. I loved the representation and was especially thrilled to hear that Elsie, the main character, is Chinese and bi (as someone who's also Chinese and bi). I also liked how the author included queer people from various generations (which made for some really heartwarming moments) and discussed the nuances of being queer in a family of color. Overall, though, this book just ended up being forgettable to me and I don't remember much about it. Still, I hope it finds its way to people who will end up loving it.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with an eARC in exchange for an honest review.

If you still recognise me by Cynthia So

I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

Thank you to netgalley and Cynthia So for the opportunity to read this book.

Firstly this cover is stunning, it really draws you in.

I cried about 3/4 of the way into the book which I wasn't really expecting. I dont really have much to say other than I loved it and would highly recommend it to others. It covers some real world issues around race and sexuality in way that makes it accessible to anyone.

The romances, friendships and familial relationships are all wonderfully written and it has you rooting for everything to work out in the end.

Thank you to NetGalley, Cynthia So, and the publisher for proving me with an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

First of all, I’d have loved to read coming of age books like this when I was a teenager, so I’m extremely happy other people that age, and even older get to do so. This book was a wholesome story about Elsie struggling to come to terms with her sexuality, culture, family problems and fixating on her online crush, Ada. Although what she does is slightly invasive I think it highlights how no one is perfect and her reasons for doing so were innocent. I like how it discusses the problems of other characters in depth too, including her family and friends. I miss the characters already.

What a cute, honest little read this book was. It's definitely something my younger self would have loved to have read when I was around that age. Espeically the fanfics. I used to read so much when I was a teenager and reading that the main character reads them and her best friend writes them would have made me not feel so alone or like a 'werdio'. This book also dealt with topics of race, ethnicity and LGBTQ+. It shows you how some people just won't accept someone for who they are which to me is heartbreaking. But I think it's so important that we read about it so we can support our loved ones and those we really care about and hopefully have a bit of understanding.
I loved the fact that they were older teenagers/newly adults because you're still figuring out who you are, what you want to do etc and this book shows that.
It's also perfect to read during June as it's pride month and this book has so much of the LGBTQ+ community in it which is always so lovely to read. I'm so happy were getting more books on it.
This book comes out tomorrow (9th June) so definitely go show it some love and give it a read!

We aren’t even a week into June and I already know I’ve found one of the best books of the summer.

Elsie has just finished her A-Level exams, and the long summer ahead of her promises to be one filled with excitement. There’s travelling with her best friend, finding a job she loves, meeting new people, keeping up with her favourite comic, chatting to her internet friend-turned-crush. But then there’s also her grandmother from Hong Kong - a woman she hasn’t seen since childhood - staying in her house, the loss of a grandfather she barely knew, her childhood best friend returning after years of radio silence, and family secrets no one will share.

All of this and more is happening, and I never thought it was too much.

This is a coming of age story following a bisexual, Chinese-British girl in a summer of discovery. I am not the biggest fan of first person narration usually, but I found it worked perfectly here. Elsie is a self-proclaimed romantic and the prose is so in-keeping with that. This is a big time and her feelings are bigger and we hear how they physically fill her, expanding in her chest and filling gaps between her ribs. And there are such quiet, introspective and tender moments amongst these Big Feelings and formative experiences. The morning routine of breakfast in the garden with the grandmother you’re trying to understand, looking at a wardrobe filled with clothes bought less for your tastes than to appease others, the gravity of calling someone ‘Uncle’ for the first time.

I loved the exploration of and relationship with identity throughout. Though personally confident in her sexuality, it is all too familiar a feeling to mostly have that confidence internally, and to withdraw from those less accepting. The scene with the family’s quiet reaction to the gay kiss on TV really struck me. I felt the air leave the room, the tension palpable, and knew from early on just how much this author understands these moments. There is also such an interesting balance of having a strong attachment to culture and heritage as well as feeling something of a disconnect from it sometimes. We get to see this explored through memories, food, language, clothes, the ways we may seek approval and who we seek it from. Elsie hasn’t been back to Hong Kong in years, whereas Joan, her childhood best friend, has been there that whole time. She knows things Elsie has forgotten or never knew to begin with, and I was very grateful to learn things along with her, particularly about the kinds of labels used by queer people there. This book tackles eurocentric beauty standards, the fetishisation of Asian women, and wondering if you are ‘enough’ of something. There are so many identities wonderfully represented in this book, and it handles those questions: Am I feminine enough? Am I queer enough? Am I enough?

And this book is as much about identity as it is about loss - the loss of contact, loss of time, and sometimes feeling the loss of a person less so than the loss of what they could have been to you.

If You Still Recognise Me is unapologetically and delightfully queer, with the most affirming queer elders and a found family of wonderful side characters that I just want to be friends with. It celebrates LGBT+ identities and queer art, particularly the comic Elsie and her internet friends love (that I would honestly like to read myself!).

With a mystery to solve, a trail to follow, comics to read, family secrets to uncover, holidays by the sea and a heartwarming sapphic romance, this book is a celebration of friendship, fandom and identity. It’s a perfect summer read and now one of my new favourites ever!

If You Still Recognise Me is an absolutely gorgeous exploration of identity, family and belonging.

Occasionally a book comes into your life and finds a special notch in your heart. This was one of those books for me. So has crafted a book that really spoke to me and will mean so much to so many readers. This book is a quiet, understated and softly beautiful contemporary coming of age narrative. It really speaks to a lot of the queer experience and I loved the inclusion of different queer generations. Generally, the diversity and representation in this book is so heart-warming to see and I really loved So’s inclusion of discussing the lack of representation in the media. The repercussions this has on people, when they cannot see themselves reflected, is profound and impactful. To see this dialogue opened up is exquisite.

This book also operates as a love letter to fandom and online community spaces. The way fanfiction is woven into the book is a really interesting and fun extra layer of texture. Fanfiction allows us to see ourselves in stories and have them play out how we wish. So intersects this with the lack of representation in traditional media. That inherently geeky obsession and passion that comes from these spaces is keenly felt, but gave this book so much more warmth for me. Elsie herself was a character I will never forget. She’s trying to find her feet after a troubled relationship, but also trying to learn to love and accept herself. That feeling of navigating through a foggy field is one we can all recognise. Her voice was so authentic and full of emotion that I fell in love with her. Also, her immense knowledge of comics was brilliant to see and experience that love alongside her.

If You Still Recognise Me is a book infused with so much love, heart and soul that will really resonate with readers.

Oh my god, what a beautiful story. This is the book that I needed when I was younger. I truly cannot recommend this book enough so please pick it up when it comes out. What I mainly loved was disparity of queer and POC rep in media.

A beautiful coming-of-age story that really captures the complexities of friendship, sexuality, love, relationships, family and fandom.

Elsie is a Chinese-British girl who's family come from Hong Kong but lives in Oxford. She's bi but not out to her family, and crushing on Ada, a girl from America she met online because they both ship the same f/f couple in their fav comic. Her Po Po (Grandma) is coming to stay with them after the death of her Gung Gung (Grandad) in Hong Kong, even though the family have not been to visit for 8 years for reasons Elsie doesn't understand. Then she surprises runs into Joan, her childhood best friend who left for Hong Kong when they were kids, and fell completely out of touch.

Elsie's life really come alive on the page, as does that of her friends and family. So's writing is engaging and well crafted, full of lines that really hit home. Elsie's struggle to navigate her feelings - romantic and platonic - for both Ada and Joan and also recover from a previous toxic relationship is excellently captured and explored.

We also get a wide array of LGBTQ+ characters from different backgrounds and generations which help to explore some of the different experiences LGBTQ+ people can have.

I loved all the little references to fandom and fandom spaces, and also how it shows the impact can have on people's lives (Elsie, Joan and Elsie's mum later bonding over manga, for example.)

I also loved the letters from Theresa (Ada's grandma's 'friend' who Elsie determines to find) which beautifully captured her longing and grief after Ada's grandma, Becca, leaves to get married in America.

Overall, this was a wonderful queer YA story that I highly recommend!

I read this in one sitting and was absolutely enthralled, this has got to be the standout YA debut of the year.

‘If you still recognise me’ is a joyous, queer coming-of-age story with predominantly Asian MCs. Elsie is bisexual, a comic book nerd and grappling with growing feelings for her online best friend - an issue made only more complex when said best friend lives thousands of miles away.

This book honestly felt like what I’ve been waiting for my whole life. Though YA, a genre I often hesitate to dip into, this was a masterfully constructed story and I cannot wait to see what else the author writes.

Each relationship - familial, platonic or romantic is written with such attention to detail and precision that you get a real insight into the dynamics of each. As an own voices reviewer; the family dynamics of an East Asian family were so unashamedly raw, this - not tokenism and harmful stereotypes - is the type of representation we need. It was a book about relationships - romance is what is highlighted on the synopsis but you soon discover it is about far more; about generational trauma, uncovering family history, coming to terms with abuse and so many other key themes.

I cant not touch on what else really stood out to me - the portrayal of fandom culture. Often authors get this *so* wrong, having their teenage MCs speak in a way that sounds like they’ve logged onto urbandictionary, typed in youth slang and not bothered to look at the definitions - but Cynthia was spot on. It felt like a love letter to all of us readers who grew up immersed in those spaces, it almost me nostalgic for a time where waiting for the newest update was my primary issue.

Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC. Release date is June 8th (!!), and this should be the next ‘big’ book of the year.

I found If You Still Recognise Me to be a joyful book, which really resonated with me. I adored all of the characters, and liked that they were such a mix - they all had their own interests and desires, and were really well fleshed out. I particularly enjoyed the combination of a coming of age story with the tales of much older queer women as well - in general, the adult characters all felt well embodied, something that's often lacking in YA. The view into fandom also felt very realistic - especially the way in which various characters use it to explore aspects of themselves.
I raced through this in under 24 hours, and it made me well up a few times - both signs of success!

This is probably a 3.5* book for me. At points, I was so sure it was going to be 4*'s and then others... I was so excited for this one, and I feel it was a little bit of a let-down overall.

I struggled to connect with Elsie. For a lot of the book, she seemed a little self-absorbed and just didn't seem to realize that people around her also had lives (although she got a lot better so yay character development) but her narrative remained a little stilted to me.

There are a lot of different types of sapphic representation in this novel which is great to see. It showed a spectrum of girls who like girls and how it can change and adapt over time as people grow and mature and tastes might change. Also, the interaction between them all was pretty refreshing to read (most of the time). I'm not completely sold on the romance elements of this but I think that's just mostly on me, I couldn't overly connect to the main pairings and it felt a little wishy-washy at times.

'If You Still Recognise Me' also covers a range of issues like the stigma of coming out (particularly in traditional families) and how hard it can be to start conversations and confront things even in an otherwise happy environment. It also covers familial relationships on several levels and some of the conversations between Elsie and her mum were uncomfortable to read but also very important.

It was both weird and cool to see the descriptions of places around Cornwall that I know pretty well (it's not very often I see Truro in a book lol) which was pretty nice.

Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for an arc of this in exchange for an honest review.

Thank You Net Galley for an early access copy of this book!

II was so excited for this book and it did not disappoint!

I loved that we got to visit different cities around England through Elsie's eyes during her adventures.

I also enjoyed how this book portrayed the experience of coming out and the stigma of doing so, especially because of homophobia and the issues in society because of this. As readers we get to experience her coming out story through our own eyes and how the people around her reacted, supported her and told her she wasn't alone.

I can tell that this book will help anyone struggling with their identity and let them know that they're not alone. No one is alone.

This is easily one of the best YA books I have read in a long time and one of my favourite reads of the year so far! It is a beautiful exploration of queerness that is simultaneously realistic and optimistic. I wish I could have read it when I was younger as the representation of fandom culture and relationships and how queerness interacts with that was something I would have love to have seen explored so honestly.

I have seen this book compared to a sapphic Heartstopper and I definitely agree with the comparison. They are both heartwarming queer joy with nuanced and realistic relationships that explore the intersection between queerness and relationships, school and self image in a way that is honest and realistic. However, as much as the the warmth and joy these books both bring are similar, this book should be seen as its own thing and although I definitely recommend it to fans of Heartstopper, I would not call it the sapphic version.

More than just being a sapphic YA romance, it is a story of family, heritage, friendship and connection which was done beautifully. It may have been a sweet story but that doesn't take away from the permeating depth that brings nuance to each relationship and interaction. It was a very real look into the difficulties that can come in family and friendships, particularly from a queer perspective. I loved the interplay of culture and race and how that affected the love shown in this book. The role of fandom was also done fantastically. Fandom and the internet has always acted as a safe space, particularly for young queer teens as they get to see and understand themselves and make friends who know and fully accept them through this. I loved how realistically this was portrayed and the importance put on it throughout.

Also, the representation in this book is fantastic. I really enjoyed reading about Elsie and her family and their culture, and particularly how love and queerness plays into this. On top of this, it was lovely to see so many queer identities represented and integrated so well and, more than this, in so many age groups. We always see stories about teenagers, but it was so lovely to see these identities and stories being represented in adults too.

I can't wait to read everything that Cynthia So comes out with because this book was wonderful.

https://elizabethcoliver.wixsite.com/website/post/if-you-still-recognise-me-by-cynthia-so-book-review

"If You Recognise Me" is an incredible debut that follows 18 year old Elsie during her last summer at home before she moves away for university.

This book has incredible representation, and necessary discussions as to how important representation is not only for queer people accepting themselves but also for non-queer people to become accepting. Also, highlighting how damaging it can be when the representation we have is overwhelmingly white.

This book had me feeling so nostalgic for my teen years, I was Elise. Obsessed with fandom, crushing on an actress and watching everything she had ever been in, using tumblr as an outlet, making edits and gifs and consuming novel length fan fiction daily. I really loved this aspect, and haven't ever seen it portrayed so accurately before.

There were also so many great parts that explain what it's really like to grow up queer, such as distancing yourself from your family once you realise you are queer, having to convince yourself that your family does love you unconditionally, thinking it will be easier to come out once you get a girlfriend, being worried about how you dress will be perceived etc. Once again, something that made me feel seen in a way I haven't before. Cynthia So is a truly special author.

Honestly can't wait to buy a copy and reread, this book felt like healing to me. Thank you to Cynthia So for writing If You Still Recognise Me, and to the Little Tiger Group and Netgalley for providing a copy for review.

If You Still Recognize Me is a gem. This book surprised me in the most wonderful ways and I feel really happy to have read it.

First, the characters. I really enjoyed reading about them and I loved Elsie, Ritika, Joan, Ada. Especially Elsie, the main character. There are just so many things to love about her and there were a lot of moments where I just wanted to hug her.

Elsie's family dynamic in some ways, is very relatable to mine. I felt her distance with her grandparents, specifically with her grandfather, on a personal level, and the regrets she had with never having the chance to know him well.

There are a lot of things going on in this book — Elsie, Ritika, and Joan are looking for Ada's grandmother's best friend who she might have had romantic feelings for, there's family conflict regarding her uncle who is gay, and her traditional, conservative grandparents, and Elsie struggling with her feelings for Ada and Joan. You might think that would seem to be too much stuff happening, but they're all weaved together cohesively and I'm satisfied with everything that went down.

I also liked how the book spoke about some things that I haven't really seen before in young adult contemporary, like yellow fever.

Other things I loved were the fandom and comic book aspects. Also I don't know if the author was just making stuff up off the top of their head but some of the comic book blurbs mentioned here were so cool and interesting 😭 I loved reading the scenes where Elsie worked in the comic book store and side characters I loved were Tam and Felix.

I loved how there's generations of queer people represented in the book. Tessa and Rebecca, plus the old lady who owned the ice cream shop and their partner were just lovely and heartwarming. This book is truly a comfort read.

I really loved this book. A gorgeous LGBTQ+ romance with brilliant characters. I liked what it had to say about fandom and how it dealt with issues around homophobia.