Thank you to Netgalley and the publishers for giving me access to the free advanced digital copy of this book.

I really want to read this book. Ar this point, it’s been on my shelf for way too long and I’m afraid that I have missed the appropriate window to review on NG. I will be sure to leave a review when I read it!

"The Gender Friend" by Oakley Phoenix is an uplifting and informative book for those who are on their own gender journey, as well as allies, loved ones and educators who want to know more about transitioning socially and medically, as well as who want to understand the experience of gender beyond binaries.

Oakley Phoenix shares their story with such generosity and vulnerability that I'm sure many readers will find helpful. They also make space for the experience of their mother, who shared very honesty how Oakley's journey towards becoming an authentic self impacted her and her relationship with her child.

Phoenix's writing is easy to understand and approachable, and "The Gender Friend" would make a great addition to any LGBTQI+ library.

Overall, I really enjoyed this book. I so appreciate that Phoenix shared their experiences with coming out as a transgender and non-binary person. The parts with their mom's experiences were also incredibly meaningful. I can definitely see Phoenix's book helping folks as they are beginning their gender journey.

Absolutely wonderful. My daughter is trans, and gender identity is really important to me, as well as knowing how best to support her. Thank you for this.

I thought this was a wonderful introduction and helpful guide to being transgender/non-binary for both trans and enby people themselves but also to allies. It was engaging, written in an easily digestible way but still contained enough information to perform well as a starting point to web off into other resources (many of which provided within this book). Absolutely recommend if you don’t know where to start and need somewhere to go.

With a book like this, I think it's important to state what I as a reader was looking to gain from having read it. I am a cisgender, bi/pansexual female. A significant person in my life recently discovered that they were transgender and is working through the beginning of their journey. I wanted to read this book as a sort of baseline for learning even more about gender identities than I was aware of, hearing from the perspective of someone who has dealt with a gender transition, and to learn how I could better support this person in my life. Phoenix did a great job of really starting from the bottom up with this book and phrasing things in a way that someone less familiar with gender expression could understand more readily. I think a book like this would have GREATLY benefited many people in my age group when we were younger and I think it would be a great resource for any young person today beginning to question their gender identity. While this book was not as in depth as I may have hoped, I respect and appreciate that it served its primary purpose as a friendly, gentle primer for folks who are just beginning to understand themselves or someone else in their life.

I really liked this book! I think you will find more use of it as an ally than a trans person, considering a sizeable chunk of it is a dictionary with terms, how to be an ally and how to reflect on gender. Not that I think this book is only for them, though. I think many trans people will feel seen in the autobiographical aspect, some people who are just discovering their identities will find the reflection on your gender great and there're some tips on gender euphoria and passing if I remember correctly which was clearly for trans people and very helpful. So if you are trans and are very knowledgeable about their identity and find things as passing advice in other ways I don't think this book would give you a lot of new information or things to work with but I still recommend it for the autobiographical aspect and the fun exercises. That's how I feel about the book in general, I would recommend it to anybody because I think everyone would find a part of this book useful but I don't think there's anyone who would find everything informative and useful, considering it's both for allies and trans people in different ways in different chapters. It's for everyone and no one, in a way.

Such an informative read! As a cis individual, I went into this book as a way to inform and educate myself so I can be a better ally! It’s also been really helpful so that I can inform older family members (more set in their ways) on how to address and respect other peoples gender!

I really enjoyed the questions and diary/self reflection on gender and has broadened my knowledge and perspective on all things gender-related! I do wish I had the ARC as a physical copy so that I could write in my answers and enjoy those aspects of the book fully.

The Gender Friend is a great and accessible source, wrote in an easy to understand way. And the do’s and don’t’s were well spelled out!

I learned a lot from this book. As a cisgender female, I, and many of my friends, have non-binary friends and relatives whom we love dearly. There is no way that we would deliberately hurt them in any way, and Oakley Phoenix gives us lots of tips on how to avoid this. The one thing that really bothers me is the use of plural pronouns as a substitute for singular identities. I will try to get used to it, but it's going to take a paradigm shift in societal thinking to bring that one about. How about inventing new terms for all of us regardless of gender? Then we can keep "they them theirs" for all of us too. Works for me.

The Gender Friend is both narrative and informative — a story to guide the reader in becoming more aware and moving toward a more authentic ally ship.

I was looking for books to help me be a better ally, and this definitely fit the bill. It’s a casual and friendly book for people learning how to support those who are nonbinary and/or trans, but also seems like it would be great for someone who is beginning to explore their trans or nonbinary identity AND for cis people to think about their own gender identity. And I think it works really well being all of those things, at least as an introduction. Oakley’s own experience talking about themselves really helped (along with what was helpful from others and what was not), as did the chapters where they brought their mom in to give some of her insight. For me personally it was sometimes a little too casual (for example, there was a hypothetical conversation at a coffeeshop with Oakley complete with ordering drinks, and many reminders throughout the book to take a break or a walk), but that’s a me thing and I can see it being a point of connection with someone else, maybe someone younger. I think there’s a need for books like this that have broad appeal and aren’t too academic, and I’m glad this book exists.

I read this enlightening book as a way of educating myself, not only for my job in social services but also in my role as a mother.

I found Oakley’s tone to be friendly and non judgmental throughout, they don’t at any point claim to be an expert in all things gender but do a brilliant job at helping us understand the terminology and sharing their own story.

Would recommend to all

This book is like a kind friend. It is so accessible. It explains gender stuff like you’re talking to a friend. I am a nonbinary transmasculine person and I am really glad to see it was kind towards allies as well. I know people who are trying and really care but will of course make mistakes in learning and getting used to it. It’s pretty obvious who actually cares and who doesn’t.

This definitely shouldn’t be the only book you read on gender, no book can do it all, but it is a great and kind starting place! It truly felt like I was chatting with a friend.

Gender can be complicated. Books like this can help. I want to thank Netgalley and the publisher for the early copy and I will have to buy a copy when it comes out so I can give this to people in my life.

This is a very sweet, informative book, and I think it's perfect for questioning folks or folks who are very uneducated about LGBTQIA2SP+ identities and issues. The voice is great and welcoming, and the author seems so warm and welcoming even through the page. Definitely recommended!

I loved the way Oakley Phoenix structured this book. It was inviting, non-judge mental, and educational. Adding reflection questions and space to write the answers was a great touch. I appreciated how they added their pictures throughout the book as well. I think more design could benefit the book…as in make the pages look like a journal. Give it a little spice!