Getting Lost is an archive of the journals Annie Ernaux kept between 1988 and 1990, documenting her relationship with a pragmatic, married, younger Russian man during his stay in Paris. These journals were fictionalized by Ernaux in 1991 and subsequently published as the novella, Simple Passion (translated by Tanya Leslie). This time, Ernaux offers transparency with these unedited journals, stripped bare, as a cry of passion and pain. Ernaux, 48 at the time of writing, more confident than ever after receiving the Renaudot Prize in 1984, finds herself "powerless in the face of desire," completely dissolved inside a man who could never satisfy her.

What starts with impulsive nights of passion in a Leningrad hotel room quickly becomes blank, incomprehensible misery. Borrowed moments during sun filled afternoons and reckless rendezvous meetings under moonlight are soon not enough to satisfy Ernaux's "boundless inextinguishable desire," as her lucid descriptions of passion and sex are replaced by obsessive, consuming thoughts of doubt and fear.

She writes in absolutes, oscillating between wild delight and stagnant despair on every page. Her dramatic musings, "He called! He loves me!" "He hasn't called! My life is empty!" become repetitive, monotonous, and even infuriating at times, but it only underlines the mind numbing wait that accompanies the dissatisfaction of constantly yearning for something more.

During these pages, Ernaux exists in a chasm of waiting, the same kind Taylor Swift wrote about in the song August, "Wanting was enough.. to live for hope of it all, cancel plans just in case you call." There's an underlying, unwavering hope, an almost delusional belief, that the affair will become more than just that, and that the painful uncertainty, the dread of being cast aside, or forgotten about entirely, will become worth it – but it ultimately leads to more pain once reality hits, "you weren't mine to lose."

Initially unbothered by her role as the other woman – she considers herself "the preferred one, for as long as it lasts," – but once their illicit love-making reaches a plateau, Ernaux is tormented by the possibility of S's indifference towards her. She overthinks every phone call and the absence of one, becoming hyper aware of her role as the "other woman," hopelessly wanting to be the "only woman", or "the last woman." Provoked by jealousy, she competes with his wife, "I have to be the one who sparkles most, desperately," and tries to win his affection with extravagant gifts. 

Ernaux describes this ruinous state of mind as "the hollow place where death, writing and sex merge" but claims the link is too difficult to express. This book makes that link tangible on the page. Dreading her final meeting with S, and their inevitable separation once he leaves France, Ernaux draws parallels to the death of her mother, the dissolution of her marriage and the loss of her youth, and it becomes clear she uses sex to feel in control.

Tangled between these journal entries documenting her doomed love affair is a dissection of her relationship with writing, which she admits is "another source of pain." Insecurities induced by her relationship with S are mirrored in her thoughts about her writing: when she believes he has lost interest in her, she loses interest in her writing and in a sense loses interest in herself.

Ernaux writes in glorious detail about the mundane, with every word relating back to S. Stepping on the exposed roots of a tree takes her back to moments spent with him in Leningrad. The sound of tyres on pebbles conjures memories of his midnight arrivals. His absence "binds [her] to him deeply and against all reason," but it's clear again, it's not love she's desperate for – "I only want love that is chosen, desired by me" – it's control.

'Getting Lost' by Annie Ernaux was first published in French in 2001.
It's a diary the author kept in 1989, while having an affair with a younger, married man.
She was already an author then, and he was a Russian attaché at the Soviet embassy in Paris.

In this diary, Ernaux documents the events that happened to her in the span of a year and a half in great detail. Her passionate account of what happened during that time, her thoughts and emotions, were all written in a very raw and vulnerable way.
Reading her brutally honest and unedited diary entries can be gripping but also quite uncomfortable at times.

There were some truly beautiful passages in 'Getting Lost', and at times the book almost reads as fiction.
My only critique would be that certain parts of the book and her feelings became very repetitive, but that's something you'd expect from reading someone's diary anyway.

The book was masterfully translated into English by Alison L. Strayer.
It's a book fans of Ernaux will enjoy, but it's not one I'd recommend to people unfamiliar with her work.

Huge thanks to Fitzcarraldo Editions and Netgalley for the free digital ARC of 'Getting Lost' in exchange for my honest review.

Annie Ernaux wrote a bestseller, Simple Passion, in the early 1990s which, even at less than fifty pages, sold half a million copies and was made into a film. It was a torrid account of her relationship with a Soviet diplomat, her crazed preoccupation with him and the ultimate impossibility of it going anywhere.

Now, she has published the diaries which she kept at that time and Getting Lost is an appropriate title. The entries track her obsessive desire and love for a slightly cold-hearted Russian diplomat who visits her occasionally and, while sometimes tender and grateful, does not reciprocate her need for him. Annie is clearly fearful of old age and believes this relationship to be in some way her last chance. She hangs onto it, desperate, when she should let it go. Meanwhile, the lover, known only as S, allows the relationship to drift, takes her cigarettes and whiskey and see her as he fancies. This is not a mutual love affair which tragically comes unstuck.

In the original there was some kind of hope that this grand passion would leave her stronger and wiser but in the journals there is simply a repetitive thread of hopelessness, obsession and constant disappointment. Annie seems almost to have envisaged and forged a picture of this relationship out of a casual hook up.

So, as we read the entries, it is easy to tell that she is doomed in her search for grand passion with a man who knows that he will return to Russia with his wife. Having said that, the aching authenticity of the diary entries, the sheer power of her desire and an obsessive wish to please her lover make this a powerful read but even as you feel for Annie you are forced to confront her naïveté.

Thank you to Net Galley and the publisher for this eARC in return for an honest review.

“Getting Lost” is a diary by Annie Ernaux that were originally published in French in 2001. It details the year and a half she spent having an affair with a younger, married man.

Being a diary, the book is an incredibly personal and vulnerable look at the author’s past, though, as she herself says, she writes about the affair through a distant lens, making it seem as if the events were fictional, rather than something happening to her. Alison L Strayer does an amazing job at translating the book as well, bringing the French author’s emotive language into the English language beautifully.

I normally avoid books that talk explicitly about sex, but the way the author talks about it as an act of love, and how her attraction to and seeming “need” for him affected her on a daily basis relating to not only their sex but his general presence in her life was something that actually made me enjoy it more.

I also don’t usually enjoy memoirs but the way “Getting Lost” is presented in the way it was written (diary entries) really helped to keep me engaged me and it made me feel as if I was living alongside the author. As well as this, the book has a sort of timeless feel to it, despite the events being specified with dates in the late 80s, it felt that the dates just happened to be those rather than being intentionally given as such.

Having enjoyed this so much, I’ve now got my eye on other pieces of Ernaux’s work, especially her novel “Simple Passion” that was based on the affair featured in these diaries.

There were some lines that were so beautiful, but the tone got so repetitive for me, but then again, this was her diary and I really commend Annie Ernaux for sharing this piece with us.

There’s a line from the book that I think perfectly described my feelings when I was in the middle “…overwhelmed once again by dismayed fascination in the face of this blind phenomenon” for me this even perfectly described everything that’s happening in this book.

There was awareness but you just know that if this book is not set in the 80s-90s this will be red flagged. It was written beautifully, but I think the fault is on me, I felt like it was too personal that I’m getting inside someone’s life and judging it unfairly. In the end, maybe the fans of the author would love this and this shouldn’t have been my first Annie Ernaux book.

Thanks so much to NetGalley and Fitzcarraldo Editions for letting me read the arc.

My second Annie Ernaux book and wow her writing just continuously blows me away. However, with it being diary entries from Ernaux it lends itself to being more of a book that you dip in and out of which I, unfortunately, did not do. Instead, I got a bit bored after reading several entries in one sitting. Super excited to pick up Simple Passion after reading this though.

Thank you to Netgalley and Fitzcarraldo for sending me an advanced copy

2.5 stars
Unfortunately this book just didn't work for me. Often, books translated from French have a slightly cold, dispassionate style, and this was no different, despite being about an affair.

This book is the author's diaries from a time that she has already written about in a previous book, and I think it would really benefit to have read that book first, although even then this one seems rather repetitive, as a diary would without any editing.

In 1989 the author kept a diary detailing her love affair with a younger, married man. She is a writer and he an attache to the Soviet embassy in Paris.

This is pretty much an uncensored and intense account of her thoughts and feelings. Whilst it is well written and brilliantly translated it borders on the over indulgent. The repetition of similar emotions did begin to grate. I began to feel a bit like a voyeur!

Many thanks to NetGalley and Fitzcarraldo for an advance copy in exchange for an honet review.

“Getting Lost” – Annie Ernaux (translated from the French by Alison L Strayer)

The only place I truly wrote was in the journal I kept, on and off, since adolescence. It was a way of enduring the wait until we saw each other again, of heightening the pleasure by recording the words and acts of passion. Most of all, it was a way to save life, to save from nothingness the thing that most resembles it.

For 18 months, Annie Ernaux had an affair with a married Russian embassy attaché, a younger man whose mere existence filled her every thought and desire both throughout these months and several afterwards. Eventually, Ernaux turned this experience into her novel “Simple Passion”, and this book contains the diary entries that she wrote and, I assume, formed the basis for that novel.

I went into this book having not read “Simple Passion” and ended up listening to it on audiobook to give some basis for this book. I don’t think it’s strictly necessary to do that, and I think that “Getting Lost” stands on its own, but I think having both enriches the other.

It’s to Ernaux’s credit that she published this diary unedited and unfiltered, because she doesn’t come out of it well at times – she shows jealous streaks, contemptuous remarks towards certain people around her, and her naked obsession towards a man and a situation that she knows cannot become anything permanent. The same cycle of passionate (and graphic) encounter with S., then days or weeks of agonised waiting, depression, fear of the affair’s termination, and then rapture when another meeting is confirmed. It’s frequently uncomfortable but also frequently gripping, the strength and honesty of the writing really dragging me in.

Ernaux fans will love this, but I’m not sure it’s the best entry point for newbies – mind you, Ernaux should be on everyone’s radar, so why not start here? Thank you to @netgalley and @fitzcarraldoeditions for an ARC in exchange for an honest review – really enjoyed it.

Interesting and informative. Getting Lost is the diary kept by Annie Ernaux during the year and a half she had a secret love affair with a younger, married man, an attache to the Soviet embassy in Paris.

Hilarious in spite of itself, this diary of an affair manages to pull at each heartstring individually. Ernaux is brutally honest, consumed by the mania of passion, and the reader is swept along with her.

I debated giving this one star but I’ve stretched to two, purely for some of the entertainment value I derived from it. Getting Lost was my first Annie Ernaux and I probably won’t be in a rush to read her other work based on this one.

Getting Lost is the (apparently) highly anticipated book containing Ernaux’s personal diaries (unaltered) from the early 1990s detailing her passionate one year affair with a married Russian diplomat who she names S.

The author fell madly in love with S, becoming consumed with thoughts of him, madly jealous of other women he may have been attracted to, and living for their next rendezvous, which became all too infrequent for her as time passed.

The diary is introspective as you’d expect, quite detailed in terms of their meetings, sexual positions and activities, very repetitive and unintentionally hilarious at times, particularly with regard to the author’s disdain for S’s Russian underpants.

I found it very hard to take it seriously as a piece of literature, Anna Karenina and Proust quotes notwithstanding. Honestly, it bore a greater resemblance to the ramblings of a melodramatic, lovesick teenager than it did to a literary legend. I say this with the greatest of respect. Kudos to her for publishing these diaries unaltered on the one hand, but on the other hand, why?

Perhaps those who have read Ernaux’s work, in particular Simple Passion which was her work of (auto) fiction based on the real life affair, might have a greater appreciation for the literary value in these diaries.

I read this for #womenintranslation month (the book is translated into English by Alison L Strayer).

Many thanks to @fitzcarraldoeditions for the eARC via @netgalley. Getting Lost will be published on 21 September.

Getting Lost is an appropriate title as I was completely lost from the beginning and couldn't finish the book. Perhaps something was lost in translation? Otherwise it must be the style of writing that just didn't grab me which was a shame as I was intrigued by the premise and had hoped for a good read. Thanks to NetGalley and Fitzcarraldo Editions for the opportunity to read the book.

Having read a fair few Ernaux books this year, I was very excited for this book, and it didn’t disappoint. It fits in very neatly with her other books, and references them a few times, but I think also works as a standalone.

We hear Ernaux here both through her diary entries and her later comments on them, giving us the immediacy of her desperation and joy, and her considered musings, as she details an affair she had with ‘S’, her Russian lover who it becomes clear was mostly just using Ernaux for sex, whilst she falls in love with him.

Ernaux is unafraid of showing us the ugly side of this relationship- her jealousy and despair are front and centre in this book, and makes for uncomfortable reading, but in the most insightful and balanced way.

I received an advanced copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

I'm sorry I gave up. It's just the same thing over and over, a woman waiting for her lover to call or show up and the repetition is too much. With so many references to Ernaux's other books in both the text and some footnotes, I wonder if the intent is to fill in missing details and that they are required reading. I went back to it several times but on hitting close to half way through, I just had to stop.

Thank you to Fitzcarraldo and NetGalley for an ARC of this book.

A delicious deeper insight to the relationship Ernaux had with a married man, more loosely documented in 'A Simple Passion'. A raw and emotional set of diary entries of their encounters and of despair when he wasn't around.

Very interior, definitely worth a read whether you've read 'A Simple Passion' or not.

Some good lines about writing. Although a lot of it was depressing.

You can tell the author tried to write the depression in a better way to make it beautifully written.
Don’t get me started on the sex scenes and the details of that.

I love a translated novel, and this was no exception. Ernaux's 'Simple Passion' published in 1993 is the basis of this collection of journal entries: a story of her affair with a younger man. Translated by Strayer, the prose is stark, smart and detached which made for a kind of voyeuristic sense of peeking into someone's private, immediate and personal thoughts. Fascinating. What was also fascinating was the way in which the backstory of previous affairs and her failed marriage was conveyed and the narrative style gives an impression of self-analysis. This, combined with the journal form and the clear intelligence of the writer, I think, makes for a highly compelling read. As an academic, I loved the mention of Proust, Foucault, Borges and Tolstoy. Highly recommended, and has made me want to read more works by this writer/translator.

My grateful thanks to Netgalley and the publishers for an ARC of this novel.

I thought I’d enjoy this but I’m not too sure that I did. This is Ernaux’s translated diary from the 1980s, when she had an affair with a Russian soldier. The diary is translated directly from the French, without any embellishments.

The writer is a parent in her late forties. She becomes besotted with her lover, almost obsessed. He comes and goes when he can - but later on, it’s clear - to both the reader and the writer - that he is not going to return. He’s had his fair share of sex with the writer, taken copious amounts of her cigarettes, made her pine for him. But he doesn’t really give her muck back, apart from wanting more of him.

I found this self-absorbed, as some diaries are. Towards the end, the focus is more on dreams she has. I feel she labours the point and this could have been more interesting, I think, with some better editing.

This is the first time I have come across the author and perhaps not the best book to start with. It is an intimate description of an affair between an older woman and a younger Russian man. Not a book for me