Little funny story about this book: I found it listed on netgalley and thought yeah, that sounds like it'll be interesting. I paid absolutely no attention to the author and set about reading. As I was going through and learning more about the author's experiences and hearing more of his voice, I thought "wow, why does this sound so much like acedadadvice?" Only to find out that this actually is his book!

I've been following Cody for a while (though how I missed he was writing a book beats me, thanks algorithm), and it has been great seeing someone outside of their teens/twenties sharing their stories and experiences. It can be very lonely and isolating being ace since it is often a fairly invisible identity, so seeing someone who is so fully and unapologetically ace is always refreshing.

If you have no idea who Cody is, I seriously recommend watching some of his videos, he answers a lot of questions that people have about asexuality and gives people advice. Really living up to the acedadadvice username!

This book is structured a lot like a big interview or Q&A, with the questions organized into different sections in order. The questions presented are mostly a jumping off point for each subject as he dives more in depth with each topic. There are some parts that are a little repetitive, but overall, this book is a written encapsulation of what we see in a lot of Cody's videos online (though of course giving more depth than a one minute video is able to provide).

If you're considering reading this book, I just want to note that this book doesn't go as in depth on intersectionality as Angela Chen's book, however it is a great jumping off point for a more broad look at asexuality. He does cover aromantacism a bit as well as discussing in brief how intersecting identities will affect a person's life, however there is a lot more about navigating relationships as an asexual. If that's what you're looking for, then great, it's all here.

I also have to agree with one of the other reviewers about the chapter on coming out. I also felt that it seemed a bit too much pushing someone to come out to live their most authentic self. While I can understand that, it isn't always safe for someone to do, nor is it always something someone wants or needs to do in their life. Please don't ever feel that in order to truly be yourself that you need to come out, do what is right for you and don't let anyone else convince you otherwise.

I'm so glad that we have people like Cody who are willing and comfortable to share parts of themselves and their story, to provide resources (there's a list of resources at the back of the book that includes websites and different fiction and non fiction to read!) and help to others in trying to find themselves. So thank you, Cody.

Oof, I'm on the fence here. It's almost, almost the best ace non fiction I've read (and I've read a lot of them). The writing is accessible and personal, the book pretty much a perfect length to cover all important topics. It's readable no matter if you're aspec, allo or questioning.

My fave was probably the chapter about navigating relationships and especially about setting up boundaries and informing your partner(s) about what you're comfortable with in terms of physical intimacy. There are so many amazing tips in the book. I also loved the chapter about being ace and queer the most, and especially the quote "queer feels like an identity with a bit of troublemaking."

Before I go into the issues, I'd like to stress that these are all easily fixable and I really hope they get corrected before final print. But as it stands, I was close to dnf-ing this book at the Coming Out chapter.

My main issue is the coming out chapter. While Cody stresses his privilege across the book, it's never more clearly shown than in this chapter, which stresses how important it is to be out because otherwise you aren't true to yourself and can't possibly be happy. There are some reassurances about safety first but they seem more as an afterthought. No one else than a white cis man living in the so-called West would have ever written something like that. And as I've read it during a Holiday break in Eastern Europe, in one of the most queerphobic countries in Europe, in a home of a family that I'm not out to and don't plan on being out to, that cut deep.

So let me stress it once and for all: safety first. Don't ever feel pressured to come out, there are so many things to consider before doing it. Even now that I live across a sea from my family and I'm financially independent, I wouldn't risk coming out. Even if my family would probably accept it, it's my personal truth and I chose not to share it and I don't think our relationship is any lesser because of it or as if it's a lie.

Even in the few countries that offer great queer protection laws, asexuality is hardly ever included in them, which is another vital thing to consider and should be included in this chapter.

So the coming out chapter definitely needs some restructuring/editing but that's the only major issue that I had.

From a few smaller hook-ups: there was a lot of exchanging between words "sex" and "intimacy" that should be clarified more. Similarly, "emotional intimacy" is used interchangeably with "romance" and as a romance-averse aro that's a huge no no from me - these are not the same. Also at some points "holding hands and cuddling" is called "sex life" which, if that's how you define it in your relationship, it's of course fine, you do you, but personally seeing it labelled as that makes me panicky - I'd love some cuddling and hand holding but would prefer it wasn't labelled as sex.

And lastly, my usual annoyance that the list of references is as usual limited to US/UK based educators with one other name thrown in for diversity. Aspec community is so diverse and so many creators all over the world create content also in English, so that's it's accessible to a wider audience. It would be nice is the book went beyond acknowledging that "we need to consider diverse voices/needs in the community and showed it in the resources.

This now seems like an overwhelmingly negative review so I'd like to stress again that it's not. As it is, I'd suggest it more to the allo audience, solely because I think the coming out chapter can be harmful to more impressionable readers without some editing. But otherwise it's great. Really! 😂

For asexual individuals or those who are questioning, and those who have an ace in their lives, this book is an ESSENTIAL resource. All of the ins-and-outs of a complex and little understood identity are explained in loving detail. Even those who identify as ace and are familiar with all of the terminology that the author goes over will find validation here. Daigle-Orians' online handle is "Ace Dad Advice" and this book truly feels like loving, nonjudgmental parental advice from someone who's been there.

I thoughtful, kind, and patient book for people who want to understand asexuality from an asexual gay man who offers advice and first-hand experience. This seems to be primarily for people who may think that they are ace, but it could also be for their families, friends or just anyone who wants to understand asexuality and aromanticism. It's so gentle it might be mistaken for a young adult audience, but it's for all ages.

Ace books and other forms of media are so important. Hearing about different experiences and the community are necessary to sharing what being ace is really like. Thank you for writing down your thoughts and spreading awareness through social media!

If you are a follower of this website, you’ve probably heard by now that I’ve been on a mission to learn more about asexuality. I Am Ace: Advice on Living Your Best Asexual Life was the perfect book to aid me on that journey. Cody Daigle-Orians did an excellent job of combining facts about asexuality with his own personal experience to paint a complete picture of what it means to live as an ace person. After reading this book, I feel more knowledgeable on the topic and better able to understand the nuances of the experience.

Daigle-Orians became a public asexual figure with his TikTok “Ace Dad Advice”, and eventually decided to write this book about his experiences and about asexuality as a whole. As a gay man who came out as asexual later in life, he has a wealth of knowledge to share about navigating romantic relationships, coming out, and just generally living your best life as an asexual person.

From learning the definition of the word “asexual”, to exploring microlabels, to each of the other milestones on the journey from asexual birth to death, this book gave advice and explainations for each part of the journey.

I appreciated how easy this book was to read. Everything, even the most complicated of definitions, was explained plainly, and personal anecdotes were interspersed often enough that I was never bored. At certain times, the author would talk about his experiences in a way that was so relatable to me as another member of the LGBTQ+ community that it made me cry. I loved hearing about the acceptance which he received, the way that being a public ace figure inspired other young men, and how even as an Ace micro-celebrity he was still moved by seeing young asexual people living their best lives.

It isn’t that everything in the book was sunshine and rainbows— Daigle-Orians was fairly forthright about the aphobia in our society today. It isn’t easy to exist when you don’t fit into the norm! However, the way that he focused on queerness as action and activism, as well as all of the positives that come from living your most authentic self, truly resonated with me as a reader.

Regardless of your sexuality, I highly recommend reading this book as an easily digestible guide to asexuality, as well as for more insight into Daigle-Orians personal journey.

I think the thing this book does best is offer a break down of being ace and then also different topics that intersect with asexuality (including intersectionality). The author provides many ways a person can be asexual and then also includes conversations about aromantisicm, microaggressions, relationships, etc. And even then the author is clear that there’s no one right or wrong way to be asexual.

This book is something I think would be something someone who’s already knowledgeable about the queer and ace community could read, but it could also be something to be passed on as educational material for someone who’s not as involved in the queer or ace community.

Thank you to NetGalley for making this available in exchange for an honest review!

I had no idea who this man was before I picked up the book but I’m glad I know now, his TikTok videos are so informative and, being an older person, is giving a lot of younger asexuals hope and positivity for their futures.

This was so well written, accessible and informative without drowning you in words and was easy to understand. It contained a multitude of resources, and promoted the reader to be themselves and always be authentic.

I’d really recommend this to those who are learning about their own identities, who are newly asexual and also to those learning about a loved one who has come out to you as asexual. It really contains everything you need to know to get started and where you can go if you want more information.

Solid 4.5/5 stars!

Thank you netgalley for the advanced copy.

This is such a thorough, informative, supportive book. It will be great for people new to exploring their asexuality and also for those who know ACE folks and want to understand and support them. This broke down so many stereotypes and misconceptions. I have a much clearer understanding of the many facets of asexuality now. The author is warm and relatable and covers so much. A great resource.

I loved this book. Asexuality is a letter in the alphabet mafia I was woefully unfamiliar with. This book felt like sitting down for a cup of tea by the fire and learning all about it.

Daigle-Orians is homoromantic and asexual and brings anecdotes and pieces of his own story into his writing. He starts with a very narrow scope of defining asexuality and asexuality and the person, then expanding to partnership and relationships and finally expanding to asexuality and the world.

This book was a real learning opportunity and I really just want to thank Cody for allowing us into his journey, and taking us on this shared journey together. Highly, highly, highly recommend.

This is a great, informative but also very personal book on being asexual. I'm so excited for all of the ace and aro-centered titles being released in 2023, and this is at the top of the pile! I wish I'd had these around when I was growing up, but they're super useful and interesting even now, for those who are on the ace/aro spectrums as well as those who aren't.

as someone that has been trying to find out if asexuality is the term for me, i found this book really amazing. both interesting and insightful, definitely recommend reading this

I have been following Cody for a while on TikTok and I have always felt seen and validated, as I am also an elder ace that realised is ace within the last year! This book is what I would have needed when I was younger, many things would have made lots of sense! But it is also what I needed now, I have known about asexuality for a while, as I have a couple of pals that told me they were ace a few years back. It is very straightforward and full of information for everyone who is exploring asexuality or just wants to know more about it, as it is a good intro!

I Am Ace is a great non-fiction book about asexuality, which is great for both people who know about and haven't encountered any information on the topic before. It is very short and easy to read, unlike many other non-fiction books, and isn't very statistic-heavy. Cody Daigle-Orians does a great job of explaining different aspects of asexuality and giving insightful advice to aces, as well as sharing his own experiences and making the book more engaging. I enjoyed this book a lot more than I thought I would, and definitely recommend it!

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Exploring I am Ace has been a treat. I'm new to the idea that I am ace and this has given me an opportunity to explore what that means to me. Haven't finished it quite yet, but so far, I am enjoying it.

This is the perfect beginners guide to what being Asexual means, both the ways that many people who identify as Ace define asexuality, as well as how they live their lives and is the perfect bite-sized guide for anyone questioning whether how they experience attraction to others might just be a bit different to the majority.

Highly recommend, though would possibly recommend to younger readers over older, and was a little disappointed by the 'coming out' section, but only as i would love for us to get to the stage where people in the LGBTQIA+ community don't feel they need to do this as everyone is accepted equally (but I do admit this seems a long way off yet).

I learnt a lot and would read more my the author about his experiences if they were to write more.

This book is really a 101 level book written with the young person who is just starting to ask themselves if they're really ace, that person isn't me. If you are looking for a deep dive in ace theory this isn't the book for you, if you don't think you might be ace you might only find limited value in this book.

Now I know this all sound like I didn't care for this book but that would be wrong, this is the kind of book that I think should be in school libraries, this is the kind of book I wish I had had access to when I was a teenager so I'm glad that it exists now. A lot of this book hinges on providing an explanation of micro labels as a way of showing how diverse the asexual experience is. Cady expresses a lot of genuine tenderness which is always refreshing in an educational piece, especially one that is directed towards younger people. The author does a pretty banging job of reminding the reader at every turn that labels are tools, that they can be descriptive but that they should not be prescriptive that it's okay to change them if they no longer align with who we are and that part was so very comforting.

I received an ARC of this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. I was unaware of who the author was/that until I started reading so this review is not influenced by being a fan.

Overall a great resource for anyone who's questioning if they're asexual or just need affirmation and validation in their asexuality. The author did a great job going over pretty much everything asexuality encompasses and different aspects of the experience and culture as well as how to navigate an allo world. That being said as someone on the asexual spectrum that's much further along on my journey I didn't find it very helpful personally. That being said I'm sure it'll be really important for others who aren't very far on their journey. It would also be great for anyone who's partner is on the ace spectrum.

Informative and interesting read. It’s great seeing more and more Ace books out there, to see representation increase. Great read for those who identify as Ace and those who just want to know more

I've started reading a lot of asexual nonfiction lately, and while this wasn't really my favorite, I still thought it was solid and I liked that it wasn't afraid to feel personal!