You know what this memoir is about from reading the jacket copy, and it is unflinching and raw and painful. It isn’t filled with platitudes and it doesn’t try to suggest some greater, universal meaning to be understood through personal tragedy. Instead, it is a brutally honest exploration of what love looks like, and how that depthless love creates the potentially for seemingly similar depthless grief. It is told with strength, vulnerability, and humor, never shying away from the reality of what it means to have a child die but instead leaning in, holding anger and fear in one hand and courage and love in the other and refusing to accept it can’t have a stranglehold on both.

The memoir isn’t an instruction manual for how to grieve. It is a personal story, one that had me choking up on almost every page. It is a lot. But there is undoubtedly a beauty here, and a hope. In the stories of the endless love found within this hurting family, and also in the experiences of caring and love they received from friends and others, I constantly found myself not just feeling empathy but feeling personally compelled, feeling like I was being challenged to reckon with others’ human-ness, their often unspoken struggles and tragedy, in a more intimate and profound way. If nothing else this beautiful memoir forces you to recognize the power of love and connection in your life, and even knowing that love may be a double-edged sword it fiercely advocates for following that love to its utter extreme.

I want to thank the author, the publisher Spiegel & Grau, and NetGalley, who provided a complimentary eARC for review. I am leaving this review voluntarily.

Rob Delaney's memoir of caring for his third son following a diagnosis of brain cancer and his grieving process after losing him is heartbreaking, raw, and vulnerable. It is a relatively short book but heavy on emotion, not solely sad; there are moments of touching beauty and humor that provide relief from an otherwise tragic story. While the story focuses mainly on his relationship with his son, it does encompass other relationships in their lives, and Delaney shares recollections that serve as touching tributes to friends, extended family, and healthcare workers who stepped forward to support them. A moving missive on love and grief.

Absolutely riveting book about facing hard circumstances and overcoming grief. Rob Delaney describes his son's battle with brain cancer and his eventual death with such grace and humility. I felt myself feeling his pain, but also feeling his joy at simply getting to now his sweet son Henry. This is a beautiful memoir that I imagine had to be extremely difficult to write, and I appreciate getting the opportunity to read such an important book. I feel like any one who has dealt with grief in their life could read this book and feel a companionship with Delaney, and also see how you could potentially come out on the other side honoring your loved ones. Just truly, beautiful, touching, and obviously heart wrenching, but incredibly poignant novel.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publishers for providing an advanced copy of this book. All opinions within this review are my own.

Our patrons really like this title. It is a difficult read for sure, but it circulates well and I have heard positive remarks made on how incredibly moving the writing and subject matter is. My opinions are my own, thank you for the ARC.

It’s a very fast read, an immense tearjerker, profound, and at times even funny. I’m sure words can’t really describe what it’s like to lose a child, but Rob Delaney does a pretty good job helping us imagine it. I’ve loved him since Catastrophe. I wish him and his family peace after all they endured. Read this book if you like books that remind you of the tragedy it sometimes is to be human.

I am a fan of Rob Delaney and his show Catastrophe, In A Heart That Works he tells the story of the illness and death of his son from a brain tumor. While Delaney and his family were living in England during Catastrophe’s filming, his son Henry was diagnosed with a large tumor near his brain stem. Henry went through surgery and chemotherapy. At two years old, he spent a lot of time in the hospital. Delaney gives a glimpse of the British healthcare system as well as explaining how difficult it can be to get medically fragile children released to home even though it can be a large cash savings for whomever is footing their bills. This was an extremely sad topic but it was also a hopeful book. Delaney’ s family survived the stresses of losing a child. His marriage remained strong and he held on to his sobriety. Some of his language was a bit rough but this is a rough topic so rough language seems appropriate. Enjoyable seems the wrong word to use for this book but I strongly recommend it. I thank NetGalley and the publisher for the opportunity to read this ARC.

The most beautiful, authentic, loving book I’ve read. My heart broke and then grew back together over this book, their love & care for each other, and for my own family.

To be honest, this one was hard as a father three young children. I knew that I needed to read it though, to gain insight of what other father's go through. In this case, it is a lot of parent's worst nightmare. It was a hard read but we should never shy away from these stories. Rob has laid out his heart in words that capture immense emotion. I'm grateful to have read this book.

Unfortunately I know more about brain tumours that I would like, after our family friend Finlay died of a glioblastoma when he was 11 years old, and sadly I know of a few adults who have died from the same cancer. Brain tumours kill more children and adults under the age of 40 than any other cancer. What a sh*t club to be in.

Rob Delaney and his family know even more close hand what b*stards brain tumours are after their third son, Henry, was diagnosed with a brain tumour when just a year old. Here is the blurb about the book Rob has written about their experience:

“In this memoir of loss, acclaimed writer and comedian Rob Delaney grapples with the fragile miracle of life, the mysteries of death, and the question of purpose for those left behind.
When you’re a parent and your child gets hurt or sick, you not only try to help them get better but you also labour under the general belief that you can help them get better. That’s not always the case though. Sometimes the nurses and the doctors can’t fix what’s wrong. Sometimes children die.
Rob Delaney’s beautiful, bright, gloriously alive son Henry died. He was one when he was diagnosed with a brain tumour. An experience beyond comprehension, but an experience Rob must share. Why does he feel compelled to talk about it, to write about it, to make people feel something like what he feels when he knows it will hurt them? Because, despite Henry’s death, Rob still loves people. For that reason, he wants them to understand.
A Heart That Works is an intimate, unflinching and fiercely funny exploration of loss – from the harrowing illness to the vivid, bodily impact of grief and the blind, furious rage that follows, through to the forceful, unstoppable love that remains.
This is the story of what happens when you lose a child, and everything you discover about life in the process.“

The book is not an exact chronology of what happened to Henry – and you know from the start that the outcome was his death – but it is incredibly moving throughout. It’s also, at times, funny and written with the dark humour (and swearing!) you’d expect from Rob Delaney. Who knew that the pronunciation of the word ‘giraffe’ would be a stumbling block for Henry’s parents during his treatment?

The knock on effect on the whole family, Henry’s brothers, the extended family – and their friends and Henry’s carers is also discussed. Rob’s family were going through so much other sh*t at the same time on the other side of the Atlantic – it was just awful – but they supported each other throughout.

Whilst there were many similarities with Fin’s story – this is very much Henry’s story. Henry’s family were keen to support charities helping families going through similar situations with immediate help to care for the sick child and their siblings – whereas Fin’s family have raised thousands to support both Birmingham Children’s Hospital where Fin was treated – and also Brain Tumour Research, because historically brain tumours have received less than 1% of the total cancer spend. All of these charities are equally valid and equally needed.

As a parent – this was a hard read – but I think it would be a very useful, if emotional, read for parents going through something similar. It also reemphasised to me the need to be careful around language when people have cancer. It’s not a ‘battle’ – because that implies the sufferer needs to fight hard to try and ‘beat’ the cancer – when sometimes it doesn’t matter how hard the person fights, it’s never going to be enough – because cancer is f*cking sh*t. There’s lots of other thought provoking things too – I really would recommend this book to everyone.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for my review copy in exchange for an honest review. But mostly, thank you to Rob and his family for sharing Henry’s story with the world.

Beautiful, heartbreaking and heartfelt. I cried my way through this brave honest beautiful tribute to Henry. This book is full of heart and humour a must read for everyone. Don’t take life and loved ones for granted. Going to go give everyone extra squeezes now

Thank you #Netgalley for this read!

Wow, this one was hard to read due to the content. Rob is open and honest about his families journey of coping with a child with an unimaginable diagnosis. I think this book will help many others who may be in a similar situation. So many moments made me smiles, and many others made me sad. It pulls at your heartstrings, Rob has a way with his words and thought processes that really make you feel like you are right along side of him. Very well done on a topic that is difficult.

What a beautiful book. It was a hard read at times - not because it was poorly written, but because of the sadness Rob describes as he walks through the moments before, during and after his son’s death.

Because of that, I read the book slowly—and I’m glad I did. I was incredibly moved by the way he talks about the love he had for Henry, and the love he has for his wife, kids, and others that have impacted his life. I am also grateful for how he wrote this book with vulnerability, holding back nothing. I am sure that that was not easy, but I hope he knows how much of a positive impact he is making on the lives of those reading his book by doing so.

Oh my goodness, what an incredible writer and storyteller Rob Delaney is. I do not remember the last time I was so deeply captured by a writer or a story. This is a beautiful and heartbreaking story of love, loss, family, identity and cherishing those in our lives. As a parent to three children 17-7 I hugged each kiddo a little tighter and found more grace in the every day as Rob's words were gentle reminders of the precious time that is not guaranteed. It is a lovingly written book and I hope you read, laugh, cry and share it. Thank you so much for sharing the story of your life and your family.

For once it was Michael Esper recommending a book to me and not the other way round as usual. After seeing this title mentioned on his Twitter I was delighted to see this on Netgalley so I thought I would check it out. He did not steer me wrong (not that I expected , the man has impeccable taste) I wasn't familiar with Rob or his work so despite coming in as a complete outsider I was absolutely blown away by this deeply moving personal account of a devoted father coming to terms with the terminal illness and subsequent death of his infant son Henry.

Rob writes with passion, anger, humour and above all a tremendous honesty about his experiences and I have no doubt that this book will enable a greater understanding of grief in everyone who reads it.

This poignant book tells the heartbreaking story of Henry, the third son of Rob and Leah Delaney. Right around the time he turned one, Henry started to experience unusual and scary symptoms, leading to a diagnosis of pediatric brain cancer. Rob Delaney‘s candid, sometimes funny, often heart-wrenching account of Henry’s life and death is visceral and pulls no punches.

The only thing that keeps this book from being five stars for me is the language. Rob Delaney‘s writing is good enough that he did not need the constant swearwords for us to feel his very real pain. At times the swearing was so over-the-top that it detracted from the story. I’m very glad I read this book though. Thank you to NetGalley for an advance copy of this beautiful book in exchange for an honest review.

An absolutely stunning work exploring grief, trauma, family and love. I had a feeling it would be hard going, but I was not expecting the rocketing gut-punch this book became. Delaney's ability to explore his experience losing his child, and to relate all the excruciating aspects of the aftermath of this loss is truly something to behold. There is rage, there is disillusionment, but there is understanding and healing. I don't know that I've ever heard some of these descriptions of life after the very worst thing. There is much to learn here. Such a raw, brave book.

This is a longer version of the article I read by the same author a few weeks prior to being approved for this title. Reading the article had me sobbing the entire way through to the point that I was hiding in the bathroom from my family until I could get myself together again. The only reason I didn’t do the same with this book is because I was able to prepare my heart better for what I already knew was coming. Yet I still couldn’t hold back the tears multiple times. This is so heartbreakingly beautifully written. You don’t have the choice of not feeling for these parents as they go through this terrible journey and the choices they have to make for their baby boy. It seems silly to focus on the writing craft for a book like this but even that was really well done in my opinion with the mostly linear timeline but with small deviations here and there. I am so sorry for what you had to go through, dear author. My heart goes out to you.

Thank you for this review copy in exchange for an honest review.

This book is so incredibly moving and beautiful. Rob Delaney writes with unexpected humor and Grace about an extremely challenging topic. One of the best meditations on grief I’ve ever come across.

“A Heart That Works” takes readers on a journey through the mind of a father who is still walking through devastating losses and profound grief. Rob Delaney wrote this memoir as a tribute to his 2 ½ year old son Henry who died from cancer in 2018. His quote in a The New York Times interview made me want to request an ARC through Netgalley:
“I wanted to ruin people’s day,” Rob said. “I wanted to ruin their week or their month. I wanted people to feel like they’d picked up a book, perhaps for entertainment, perhaps for enlightenment, and I wanted them to be punished.”
“That is one thing grief does to me,” he said. It makes me want to make you understand.”
I did understand. He’s processing his grief. But I almost stopped reading because he marred that tragic story with cursing and vulgar images. I warred internally about finishing this book. I had expected a straight-forward story, but the narrative read like stream of consciousness. “Stream of consciousness writing is a wide-open highway where your mental car can drive at full speed with nothing to block or detour ideas.” Best quote to explain what reading this book was like. And also the song from Sesame Street. These random stories just didn’t belong. They didn’t connect to the main story.
But this also came to my mind: Can you sit with this man in his grief? I thought of Job’s friends. Job’s pals were wrong in how they interpreted the “whys” of his devastating losses, but they got one thing right. They sat on the ground with him for 7 days and nights. No one said anything. Job's suffering was too great for words. (Job 2:11-13)
I wanted to sit with Rob in his grief.
Rob and Leah have had four children: Eugene, Oscar, Henry, and Teddy. Rob is a co-creator and star of the British TV series, Catastrophe. He moved with his family to London to film the first season of the show in 2014 when Leah was pregnant with Henry. They had to acclimate quickly, so they were ready for Henry’s arrival. Rob talked in such glowing terms about his wife and children. I loved those parts. Henry started throwing up during his brother’s birthday party and that continued until they learned he had a brain tumor near his brain stem. He would have surgery and undergo brutal treatments no child should ever have to go through. He needed help to care with breathing and eating. Rob, Leah, the “older” boys, Eugene and Oscar, among others learned how to care for Henry. They made sure he knew he was loved and was a vital part of their family. Henry had moments of aguish that broke my heart, and he moments of pure joy, too. In his short life, Henry made an impact on so many lives, including mine.
The hits kept coming for Rob and his family. The loss of one more family member during Henry’s treatment, the cancer diagnosis of another, all within the same timeframe. Rob talked about his previous bouts of depression and his years of sobriety. His anger and regret surfaced as he moved backward and forward in time in the narrative. I could feel the horror, pain, and trauma of those moments as he relived them. I felt like I was looking at an unfinished oil painting. The picture started with colors layered over one another. The artist made swipes with his spatula, and I could see moments of beauty, moments of madness, horror, and unbridled anger as it came together. But no hope. That was the hardest to witness.

I tried to add this review to Amazon, but I immediately received this message before ever posting: Amazon has noticed unusual reviewing activity on this product. Due to this activity, we have limited this product to verified purchase reviews.

How does one even begin to discuss a book like this? Delaney's story is told in an absolutely gripping, vulnerable, and self-aware work that spellbinds the reader from the very first page. Given the heartbreaking subject of the memoir, we go into it knowing we need to brace ourselves, and yet the story devastates us, makes us sardonic, wistful, hopeful, and hardened all the same, depending on which page you're turning at any given moment.

Delaney's account of events oscillates between the before, the during, and the after in a manner that is mostly linear but still deviates from it occasionally; this has a powerful effect, pulling the reader into what the waves of grief, mourning, and nostalgia consume us and recede, only to return again.

Moments of sardonic humor keep this book grounded, entering the scene to highlight by contrast the dark grimness of the events being recounted. In addition to addressing the main theme of childhood illness and mourning, Delany imparts memorable insights about the wonder of birth, the overflowing joy of parenthood, and the importance of family and community. The book is tightly written, beautifully told, and unlikely to be forgotten. It stays with you, not because it haunts you, but because it is so beautiful, poignant, and incredibly human. A memoir for even those who imagined themselves to not be memoir-readers. (I suspect that fans of Matt Haig will be particularly appreciative of the profound yet funny and wistful tone of the narration found here).