Well I have to congratulate the author on the writing style in this book, I really enjoyed reading it and found that the delicate situations that often happen in family life were handled with empathy. The story is based around a Hindu family living in Harrow, a widowed mother dealing with grief and the recent death of the children's Grandfather who provided the father figure support when her husband Elliot died. The book deals with the challenges faced by children growing up and a mother trying to protect the family from the past. Well worth reading.

The thing that really stood out for me in this book is Patel's representation of second - and third generation 'immigrant' families and mixed-race relationships in contemporary London; something that we haven't really seen enough of in literature given the prevalence of people in London (the setting of this book) with our vast array of varied inheritances and the mixing pot of our friendship groups from school onwards.

I also think that there is a lovely warmth in some of the family scenes and the way that relationships have been conceived. Sadly, for me the execution feels a bit bland and clunky. There are time switches that disrupt the storyline, characters feel rather one-dimensional and the writing doesn't flow. There's no distinctive voice or style, something which is important to me as a reader. And the book feels overlong for the material it contains.

I loved reading The things that we lost. I loved how each character was built up to the point where you forgot sometimes you wasnt part of the family.

We meet Nic and his Grandfather before he passes away where he tells Nic there's a key in his house to find out more about his father who died before he was born. The book flicks between the past and present from Nic and also his mum Avanis point of view.

There is always such feeling on the pages and although it is heartbreaking at times, through grief family love and loss - there is still a warmth for Nic from the closeness of friends when his family seems to be slipping further away from him. and I rooted for him throughout to find what he was looking for so he could start to mend his broken relationships,

The book explores what it is like to be both British and Indian. I enjoyed the food references and especially loved the music references especially as they were in an era when I was growing up.

I will be recommending this book to others and looking out for more books from this author

‘When his grandfather dies, Nik has the opportunity to learn about the man he never met. Armed with a key and new knowledge about his parents' past, Nik sets out to unlock the secrets that his mother has been holding onto his whole life.’

I found this book quite slow to get into as it’s not the type of book that I would usually choose. It covers topics of racism in the late 80’s and early 90’s, culture, heritage and grief.

This book switches between the perspectives of Nik and his mother Avani as they process their grief following the death of Nik’s grandfather. And has many layers to it as Nik tries to uncover the mystery of his father whom he never met, and the struggles of starting at university.

It’s unlike any book I can think of in that it contains a large amount of social commentary, some mystery and social issues whilst still maintaining elements of a fiction book.

That is not to say that I didn’t have some issues with the book, in that I felt it was quite slow to get into and I struggled to relate to any of the characters, but I would say don’t let that put you off, as relating with characters is quite personal!

In The Things That We Lost, Jyoti Patel has given us two fully realised characters in Nik and Avani. Neither mother, Avani, nor son, Nik, are without flaws and both are dealing in their own ways with the grief of losing Elliott, their husband and father respectively. They ultimately need each other but are too busy shutting each other out to see this. For this reason, I loved the grandfather character who worked so hard to get Avani and Nik to open up, make peace and honour the memory of Elliott.

There are a few family secrets revealed as the book goes on but this is not done in a gratuitous or gimmicky way. Instead, long buried truths and feelings are organically and gradually unearthed as we read from Avani's and Nik's points of view across several decades. Chand, the brother/uncle character could have been better developed but, given, he is often absent, particularly in the modern day timelines, it is understandable that we don't get as much time with him as we do some of the other characters.

I really enjoyed the way romance was dealt with in this novel. Avani and Nik both have interactions in the book which could be described as romantic but these never read as cheesy or saccharine to me. I have a very low tolerance for cringe so was grateful for the subtle way Patel included these relationships without them overshadowing other elements of the story.

Overall, I found this to be an enjoyable, evenly-paced novel with interesting characters exploring a diverse range of issues. This is a book you should curl up with on an evening, a mug of hot (insert beverage of choice) in your hand and just let yourself be carried away by this touching and beautiful story.

Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for early access to this impressive debut novel.

This was a very well written book with very fresh and relatable characters. I enjoyed the descriptions of Indian food scattered throughout! I also liked the contrast between Nik's experiences in London with those of a very white Northern town.

Around halfway through I did feel the book got a bit bogged down with flashbacks and secrets, and it felt a bit repetitive at times.

But overall a really promising debut novel.

A book filled with love, loss, and grief. It is a story about a family of several generations, and everyone of them have secrets, hopes, and dreams. Everyone in the family try tries to find their way in England, in a country with white people, and for a family with an Indian background it is not always easy.

It was interesting to read about the different people in their book and about their lives, however I did not really bond with anyone of the characters. It is however a good story, and I think many readers will find this to be a great book. It is also a good read for people interested in how it is being a minority family in a country that is supposed to be a place for everyone, but some still struggle hard with the pat and present.

This book felt like I was coming home, a really warm hug, tackling sensitive topics such as grief, identity, racism, mental health and relationships in a beautiful and poignant way; the story flows across the pages. 

The Things That We Lost is about Avani and Nik, a mother and son from Harrow, London. Avani who grew up in a Gujarati-Kenyan household, treads the boundary between different cultures, trying to establish her identity. She marries Elliot, her childhood friend, whose untimely death forms the premise of the story and how it impacts everyones' life. Nik, their son, is born after his father passes away. Having never known him, and whom/ what he has lost, his life is filled with a quagmire of unanswered questions . His mother is unwilling and unable to answer them as she deals with her own trauma. Before his grandfather dies, he leaves Nik a key which leads to a deep exploration. The death of a loved one triggering something else; an exposure of secrets and truths which were hidden until now.

None of the themes and narratives felt clichéd or repetitive despite the characters tackling their own demons. The dual time lines running parallel through the book was interesting for Avani and Nik's character development showing them grow up almost together but in different generations, decades apart. 

 Jyoti's writing style is discreetly powerful, gentle and intimate. Avani, in one scene, speaks of being unable to relay her grief because of the multitude of languages that can be used to translate it may distort the expression. A beautiful real concept, presented in a poignant and gentle way. The book is filled with such moments . This coupled with the notion that  perhaps, ultimately, grief is a language of its own. Definitely a book to look out for on 12th January! I cannot wait to read more from Jyoti Patel.

Thank you @netgalley @randomhouseUK @cornerstone and @merkybooks for the advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.

I enjoyed this book and felt it was very realistic to the relationships in families today. Unanswered questions looked familiar. The book could be called a mystery story and there is an element that I had to read it to the end and hopefully find some answers that had troubled this family for over twenty years. The subjects that were never discussed looked obvious and could give the answers. The author dealt with this with great realism.

The story is about Nik and his mother, they have a close but complicated relationship. Just before leaving university Nik's grandfather dies and this opens up the family dynamics, it brings back his own mother's younger life and how this has gone on to shape their lives.
I thought the author did well in creating her characters and I look forward to reading more by her.

What a book ! I feel bereft now that i have finished it, trying to stretch out the last 30 pages.
Great writing and wonderfully drawn characters. I hated Avani only because she reminded me of my own Mother and how she dealt with her grief not letting anyone else in. Nic is the superhero and I hope with all my heart that they find Nick.

A truly superb read - highly recommend.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher, Random House UK for this ARC.

The Things That We Lost is an exploration of families, relationship and grief, and also a poignant, thought-provoking novel about growing up as a person of colour in England.
Nik would like to know more about his father but his mother, Avani, has never got over his death and refuses to talk about him.
In the background is the racism that the family have to cope with, such as when new acquaintances ask ‘where are you from?, ‘No, where are you really from?’
An engrossing, beautifully written novel that I thoroughly enjoyed and highly recommend.

The Things That We Lost is Jyoti Patel's debut novel and was the winner of the #Merky Books New Writers' Prize 2021 and is a perceptive, thought-provoking exploration of growing up as a person of colour in Britain – both in the present day and a few decades ago. Jyoti Patel also movingly examines universal themes which will be familiar to anybody who has experienced loss, especially of the sudden kind.
The second-person narrative follows Avani and her teenage son, Nikhil and by alternating the perspective, a rather poignant picture emerges of two people torn apart by their words and actions. The prologue introduces a younger Avani, full of love and optimism and even though there are nods towards both the personal and societal issues which will feature throughout the book, these first pages are imbued with possibility. It means the impact of the tragedy which led to Avani losing the love of her life and Nik growing up without his father feels even more devastating.
However, it's another death which proves to be the catalyst for the shifting of the dynamics between mother and son. Even though the death of his grandfather isn't entirely unexpected, the gap he leaves is profound and I thought the recognition of the way bereavement changes everything was considered with such insight. Events in the present day take place over just a few months and there are fascinating lines drawn between the more recent upheaval and that which occurred long ago
Throughout the book there are passages set in Avani's past and there are some scenes here which are particularly emotive. There is never any doubt as to the enduring bond which formed between Avani and Elliott but Jyoti Patel never flinches from portraying the worst of humanity too. The older Avani can be a frustrating character at times but these flashback passages ensure her sense of loss and what it meant for her relationship with others is described with such empathy.
Likewise, the development of Nik's character is handled with real insight and I thought it was especially powerful to feature a young man experiencing mental health issues. As with Avani, he is allowed to be a flawed, complex character and the spiralling of his emotions is painful to read about. His reaction to the loss of his beloved grandfather, followed by the sort of life changes which might be expected at his age but which can result in a fracturing of a protective, supportive framework, is so completely believable.
While families and friendships are universal themes explored in The Things That We Lost, this is also a candid look at growing up surrounded by prejudice and racism. There are scenes which I'm sure will be familiar to many Black and Brown British people reading the book. The inevitable question about where a person is really from is particularly resonant in a novel which has belonging as a core theme. The prose is utterly captivating throughout; liberally peppered with Gujarati words and phrases and urban slang, there's a rather beautiful lyricism to the writing, superbly capturing the diversity of speech in modern-day Britain.
The revelations don't come as a surprise and not every loose end is neatly tied up but that further underlines Jyoti Patel's commitment to truly reflect the complexities of grief, regret, love and hope. Sometimes wryly witty, often upsetting and always honest, The Things That We Lost is an outstanding debut and a book which will stay with me, I highly recommend it.

This is a beautifully written tale of family, of grief and identity. The story is a dual POV, one partly told through the view of Nik who is off to university and grappling with the death of his much-loved grandfather, the passing of whom presents an opportunity to understand more about his own father. The other POV is that of Avani, Nik’s mother who has been keeping the truth of Nik’s father’s death from him for years, partly in a well-intentioned but poorly-handled attempt to protect her son and partly because she hasn’t managed to process her own grief.
The novel is deftly woven and captures England both in the present day and as it was a couple of decades ago. It highlights generational differences, cultural expectations and the racism that is still prevalent in today’s society. As well as weaving the poignant story of a grieving mother and her son, it beautifully captures family dynamics and fractures and constantly surprises the reader as the story progresses.
A fabulous debut.

The Things That We Lost is an oh so wonderfully nuanced new literary fiction debut by Jyoti Patel, soon to be published by Merky Books.

Narrated from the dual perspectives of 18 year old Nikhil (Nik) and his mother Avani, the novel switches between the past and present. And we are with Nik every step of the way as following the loss of his beloved grandfather, he tries to piece together the events surrounding his father's death.

It is a captivating and beautifully written bildungsroman and ode to parental love. You really become invested in this family - Avani and Elliot's love story, the vital role that creativity plays in exploring the deepest emotion, and Nik's transition through a difficult phase of life whilst getting to know his family history.

Jyoti Patel has taken weighty themes and balanced them with lighter moments of humour, mystery and intrigue. The exploration of loss and grief is so painfully accurate it hits you in the pit of your stomach, but the overall effect is a novel full of heart and deeply moving.

Several events skillfully continue conversations about race, brilliantly illustrating throughout the novel, how this can factor into interracial relationships, movement across the UK, identity, the workplace and culture.

London is also written so well, if you know it you'll have a strong visual of that hill in Harrow and the school children with the straw hats, (if you don't then take a fellow Londoner's word for its accuracy!)

I loved it and cannot wait for more from this author.
Thank you to Jyoti Patel Merky Books and Netgally for my ARC.

The Things That We Lost is out 12 January 2023

TW: abuse, depression,grief

This book was wonderful - it told the tale of Nikhil, Avani and their family so beautifully, in a way that tugged at the heartstrings but never felt overdone. It is a book in which not a lot happens, but readers are allowed to explore a character’s deepest emotions, thoughts and feelings, played out over the span of around 30 years. I loved it.

The Things That We Lost completely absorbed me and was a truly beautiful testament to the nature of love, family and grief.

Elliot and Avani were friends first. Their story was so delicately revealed and so stunningly beautiful and tragic.

Nik is Avani and Elliot's son, but he never knew his Dad, and his Mum refuses to talk about him.

When Nik's beloved grandfather dies and he leaves home for University, Nik finds himself in the depths of grief, anxiety and depression, and wanting to know the answers to his questions.

We move from present to past seamlessly and are privileged to learn the truth, or at least, some truth that allows Avani and Nik to find peace at last.

This is such a beautifully written story that captures the reader's attention and allows them to become completely absorbed and invested in the story of a mother and son's journey from darkness to some glimpse of light and hope.

“He hasn't watched death snatch someone away who meant everything to him. In his naivety, he assumed that bereavement was simply an absence. Now, it dawns on him that it is an inescapable presence.”

The things we lost follows the lives of Avani, her son Nik, her husband Elliot and their friends and families. This is a very sensitively written novel which touches on many difficult topics such as the death of a parent, grief, racism, child abuse, mental health and suicide. Despite these very weighty topics, Patel writes in a way to show how these issues and situations are just a part of life. There is no shock factor - which I really enjoyed because the characters felt real and the novel felt real.

This is partly a coming of age story where we see Nik grapple with his grief, whilst also figuring out university, friendships and his identity as a British Kenyan Indian. I really enjoyed the snippets into Nik navigating university in a non diverse town and really felt every emotion he felt. Though the university is unnamed, it literally reminded me of my university - a small northern town. His experiences of racism at university felt so true and real. I think many POC have probably had similar experiences at university.

One of my favourite themes throughout the book was the beautiful exploration of friendship. Both Avani and Nik experienced the challenges that come with friendships when your life starts diverging into an unpleasant direction. The complexity of family relationships and how grief impacts them was also very delicately explored using the relationship between Avani and her brother Chand.

Overall this a very beautiful and delicate read. It’s almost like a gentle mystery, where at first you feel somewhat frustrated with Avani - however towards the end it all makes sense.

I thoroughly enjoyed this novel and I can’t wait to read more work by Jyoti. The book is being published on 12 January 2023 and I’d highly recommend it to anyone!

What a superb debut novel by Jyoti Patel! Her writing style was immersive and at times her writing and language were rich and just beautiful.

Grief often leads to fractured relationships and this was illustrated not only through Avani's relationship with her son Nik, but also with her brother Chand. Avani was widowed before Nik's birth and refuses to talk about her late husband Elliot as the trauma still runs deep. Her trauma not only stems from Elliot's death but also from the emotional and physically abusive relationship with her late mother. Her father's death proves to be a breaking point her relationship with Nik.

Nik has lost his grandfather, has just started university away from his home in London and needs answers which Avani doesn't give him. Being of mixed-race, he experiences racism and microaggressions in the small university town. It all takes a toll on his mental health and he soon begins to descend into a downward spiral.

I felt that the only downside to this story was that the ending lacked closure. I would loved for Avani and Nik to have had a much needed heart-to-heart conversation.

A peaceful opening belies this title. Avani is at university with her best friend and her brother works close by. The freedom of living independently from home – ah, those days! This is only a snapshot however and the present is very much different.
The death of Avani’s father is the catalyst for the unraveling of a past that Avani’s son Nik has never known. Nik is contending with his own issues too, his grief over his grandfather’s death alongside finding his chosen university too different in vibe to London. Racism rises to the surface, enough to make him feel uncomfortable.
Then there is his mother Avani, why won’t she talk about his father Elliott? The question hangs to the end where Nik discovers what he has been seeking in more ways than one.

This is a beautiful yet melancholic story of many layers. Nik wants to know his past which puts strain on his relationship with Avani. She has faced her own struggles with culture and love clashing. Then there is the revealing of truths, sacrifice and guilt. I was really engaged with the journey Nik went on in this novel and also the back story of his mother Avani. I like to think they all found peace eventually.
Some of the themes in this novel would not usually draw me to reading it, I’m so glad I did though. There is an underlying theme of depression which was sensitively handled – in this story this tied in with not knowing and an abyss of endless self questioning. The uncomfortable theme of racism resonated with me. Even now there are areas where being non-white can be unsettling. Where the colour of your skin marks you out as not belonging even though this is the only world and setting you have ever known.

I would definitely recommend reading this debut and look forward to its release in January 2023.

This novel was at times a challenging read for me as I recognised the symptoms of depression and loss in the characters. That being said, I loved this book and was hooked from the start. I would happily read a sequel
to see how Nik has gotten on with the rest of his life and what decisions he ends up making about his future.