In Now I Am Here, we begin at the end. The armies of the National Defence Movement have been crushed and our unnamed narrator and his unit are surrounded. Beautifully written, compelling and thought provoking, I was drawn by the cover and blurb, not one I would normally read but I’m glad I did!

A deceptively simple story but effective story which examines how a man with relatively low self-esteem and uncertain future prospects, is seduced both by the power of a uniform and by the nationalistic propaganda of the associated military regime, to a point where he commits war crimes.

The book is recorded in a journal the unnamed narrator was given by his girlfriend, as he and his unit face near certain death after a calamitous reversal in their countries invasion of the country to their East.

The narrator initially joined the NDM (National Defense Movement – which has taken over the country via a bloody military anti-corruption motivated coup) as a trainee, moves across to a position in the DIE (Data and Information Extraction) department in the DIDS (Division of Internal Data and Security) where he monitors population descent, particularly among immigrants from the country to the East (who are tagged “Easties” and increasingly viewed as third columnists, particularly after the death of his countries leader in a plane crash over Eastern territory brings to power a second Dear Leader who has the charisma of his predecessor but none of the compassion that at least partly moderated the NDM founder’s rhetoric).

He then joins a PIO (Property Integrity Unit) SIU (Site Inspection Unit) who effectively repossess the property of UR (Unlawful Resident) Status Easties who have been identified as PDE (Potentially Disruptive), placed on an APR (Action Pending Register) and given a DI (Declaration of Illegality).

The increasing violence of the evictions – particularly one incident when he shoots a boy in cold blood after the boy’s Eastie mother spits at him – and when full scale war is declared he joins a PPC (Property and Population Control Battalion) “nicknamed ‘The Factory Boys’ because of their mobile processing units. They were an effective part of Our Dear Leader’s erasure machine. Their remit included the ‘preparation of land for further civilization through the removal of unnecessary artefacts’. This was done by way of Property and Population Inspections. PPI (Property and Population Inspection) The recording followed by total destruction of any object, no matter the size, that could bring joy or hope to the hearts of Easties.” – and his actions descend into war crimes including the massacre of a village.

The journal traces the past, and looking back he realises his descent into terrible acts was due to an increasing desensitisation to violence and a dehumanisation of his country’s enemies.

As will be clear from the number of TLAs in the review the book has some elements of Atwood-esque dystopia, and some of the descriptions of the luxury of the NDM headquarters or the sophistication of their surveillance methods can make the book sometimes feel a little detached from reality – but of course the novel is only too true to the late 20th Century/21st Century (even the detail of the plane crash of course partly reminiscent of the events that precipitated the Rwandan genocide) and the treatment used by the author makes this a powerful way to investigate what leads people to committ war crimes.

I really did give this book a chance but I just found the writing style really hard to get into. It could have been written a little more in a way in which it allows the prose flow? Otherwise this just wasn't for me.

a interesting debut novel by Chidi Ebere. The story is from the perspective of an unnamed soldier facing death and is a profound reflection on how good people can do terrible things - precipitated by circumstance and the violence of war.
It has a very philosophical aspect; especially later in the book which is interesting to read, as we are allowed into the mind of a character who is making realisations for the first - realisations of how they came to be in this position (from glory to death), reflections of what they’ve done (for good or ill), and how their ideologies have been shaped by a government they were loyal too.
It raises some interesting points to consider.

This was by no means a quick and easy read but it is definitely an important one that is very thougyht provoking, I am still thinking about it now.