As usual with this kind of non fiction, take my rating with a grain of salt, especially since I have realised I do not really enjoy reading non fiction about topics I already know a lot about, and generally I prefer memoirs and non fiction about personal experiences or crime.
Anyways, this is a great book if you are new to the aromantic and asexual spectrum discussion, and especially — I believe — if you are questioning yourself. This book will surely help you feel seen, understood and affirmed, so I would highly recommend it for this.
What I liked the most about this guide were definitely the quotes from people who compiled the survey from The Ace and Aro Advocacy Project, hence my realisation I do prefer “personal” non fiction to general non fiction. I wish there were more of those, but at the same time I believe they were placed perfectly, and it was interesting to read from different perspectives. The ace and aro communities are very much about sharing experiences to understand each other and one self, so it made sense to have them sprinkled throughout the guide.
The book was also really inclusive, and took into account how experiences may vary for people with different cultural, ethnic and religious background, disabilities of any kind or traumas of multiple origins, and for people of different races, genders and with varying sexual and romantic orientations other than on the asexual and aromantic spectrum.
This, I really appreciated, however it still felt a bit anglophone world-centric, but that was addressed by the authors themselves. Sadly, in Italy, we don’t have as many aro and aces communities in real life, and all the aro and/or ace people I met, I met online.
I also really liked that the authors took time to showcase how, while often linked and somewhat similar in some aspects, the aromantic and asexual spectrum are two different things, and it was nice to see such attention given to the aro-spec people. I find that usually, when talking about aromanticism and asexuality, the bigger focus is on the latter, and the former is often disregarded or treated as the same thing as asexuality. Aromantic people often feel alienated for this, but I find that this book will make them feel seen and understood.
Personally, I wasn’t a big fan of the “Our advice” sections at the end of each chapter, but that was more of a me problem, due to the fact that all the information contained in the book, I already knew. For people who are just now approaching the subject, this advice may be vital, and I am glad it was included. It is a guide, after all, and it is written like one.
Overall, I would recommend this book. However, if you — like me — already know a lot of things about aromanticism and asexuality, this might feel reduntant. But, if you are looking for answers, knowledge or if you need a book to make you feel understood as an aromantic or asexual person, this is definitely the book for you. I am very happy to have read it, so that I can now recommend it to questioning people and allo people wanting to know more about the a-spec and how to be a better ally to their friends and a-spec people in general.

A great starting point for anyone who wants to learn more about asexuality or are recently coming to terms with the fact that they are asexual. This felt very affirming as an asexual person seeing other peoples experiences and feelings. The only downside for me if that it started to get a bit repetitive.

It’s got a very extensive glossary and appendix which I think is super valuable.

"If you are ace or aro, you are not alone--you have never been alone."

I think at this point I've read every ace/aro nonfiction book that's been published in the last 5 years (I'm ace aro spec and I like learning about different perspectives). Because of this, lot of them are very similar with the presented scientific information. I tend to prefer ones that have a more personal approach since at this point I know all the scientific information. But if this is your first book on ace/aro spec and you are wanting a more scientific approach instead of a personal approach, you will enjoy it and learn a lot.

Happy aro awareness week.

Thank you to netgally for a free copy in exchange for an honest review!

I’ve read quite a few books about asexuality now and I can’t seem to resist reading everything that’s out there (I appreciate and support everything that helps bring more awareness!), but I wasn’t convinced that this would really be much different from what I’ve read so far. It was!

Something I really appreciated was that aromanticism wasn’t tacked on—this was truly a book embracing both asexuality and aromanticism as identities that can exist together but don’t always. I learned a lot more about aromanticism, along with ways I can be a better ally to aro and ace folks who have a different experience than I do.

Another unique thing about this book in particular was the section on ace and aro culture—that was helpful for someone who isn’t super involved in the online community and to learn about aspects of the culture that I’ve only heard about online. It might have made more sense for me to have this section come after the chapters going through the process of learning about asexuality and aromanticism to perhaps taking it on as an identity, but nonetheless I’m glad it was included. There were lots of tips for coming out if you choose, for staying true to yourself and confident in who you are in the face of an amatonormative culture, for ways that allies can support aro and ace folks, and ways that we can better support each other by being more inclusive and thinking about the way our language can sometimes exclude fellow a-spec people even within that community.

As someone who thought they were ace, this can be used as a book to understand ace and aro identities, but I found it to be way too "textbook"-ey if that makes sense. I can see why it is useful, but to me, it is just too scientific for me to finish.

I identify as ace. While I do appreciate the effort, want, and need for this project, I couldn't keep reading it. The style was way to scientific and textbooky. It was also repetitive because of the fear of offending someone by something that was written, when the prologue already established that this is from the perspective of the authors and who was interviewed and that the information shared may not and will not apply to everyone and every situation. That disclaimer should have been enough.
I think there are other books out there that can inform people of the Ace experience in a more approachable manner.
I won't be posting this review anywhere else.

This is one of the best books that I have read on asexuality and aromanticism. Previous books do not provide a lot of information on aromanticism. This one is not a completely and introductory text. It is focused on identity formation. This is very helpful for people on the asexual and aromantic spectrums.

"This book is both a 101 and a 201, an explanation of 'what' and why'.... This book may help you better understand."

I highly recommend this helpful little book. More than anything else, it's a great reference to help anyone with questions to have a starting place to find answers. As a librarian, I understand that finding your own answers is sometimes difficult. And, for me at least, it's helpful to have a book to be a starting point.

I think this book is a perfect place to start, when other books may look daunting or confusing. If you're looking for further reading, I'd recommend next Angela Chen's book Ace.

I really really enjoyed this book! This is the first nonfiction ace/aro book that I’ve completed. I think it’s perfect for folks who are questioning, who have recently considered that they might be ace/aro, already identify and enjoy reading about various experiences and aspects of coming into your own, AND for allo folks who are unfamiliar and want to be more inclusive or loving of their ace/aro community members. It really is like an ace/aro 101 & 201.

There were a couple of things that I imagine will be edited in the final but the Claire Kann YA book mentioned did not accurately identify the romantic orientation of one of the main characters (I read the book) and a well-known asexuality book was left off of the resources. (I think that’s just something to be edited in the final since the author was previously listed in a list of folks to follow).

Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for this advanced reader copy in exchange for my opinion/review! All thoughts and opinions are my own.

This book has a glossary at the end, rather than explaining terms as they come up. There is a bit of an explanation in the introduction of how terms are used.
The introduction is also careful in contextualising the content, and stating clearly that there is a good deal of diversity in how individuals place themselves in this conversation.
It's for those who might support someone asexual and/or aromantic as well as asexual and aromantic people themselves, so it may be of use for, for example, university support workers, and high school guidance teachers.
There is a thoughtful exploration of compulsory sexuality that might be of interest to a wide audience.
I also enjoyed the discussion of communities such as AroPlane and Arocalypse.

I accessed a digital review copy of this book from the publisher.
This book begins with an explanation of what asexuality and aromanticism are. It then goes into different types of attraction and sexuality. There is also a section about the typical journey for realizing/finding out that you are ace or aro. Throughout the book are quotes from community members to back up or expand on what the authors have stated. The authors do make sure to point out that their viewpoint is from the west, usually American, and using English terminology.
There is a lot of information and qualifications on what the authors say, so the book can be confusing for readers who are new to the topic. However, it is a good resource for anyone who is learning about aro and ace identities.

Ace and Aro Journeys serves as part dictionary, part instructional guide, part academic essay, and part confessional. It does not fail as any particular one of these but decidedly suffers for not picking a more focused mission. Getting through any one part in order to get to the part that any individual reader might be interested in might also be enough to turn them off the book, if they're not interested in all of those topics. And not everyone is going to find what they need in those sections: the authors acknowledge that their sources are limited mainly to a white, Western perspective, but are less clear about telling us they also neglect some necessary input from disabled (of all sorts) or transgender voices, all while paying lip service to inclusivity by using a diverse array of names, pronouns, and identities in their examples. But simply saying "One hypothetical asexual person might be Black and nonbinary," without then examining how this intersection of identities offers a different experience than one an asexual, white, cisgender person does, doesn't solve the problem. It merely hides it behind the idea that they really did try. It's mentioned that people with various physical disabilities- their example being cerebral palsy- might face some problems either internally or socially with identifying as asexual, as well as people with cognitive or developmental disabilities like autism. (It's worth noting that when the authors list types of disabilities, developmental is absent from the list.) Similarly, the section on trauma does acknowledge that some asexual people have experienced sexual trauma at various points in their lives, but stops around the point of saying "but they're still asexual!" Yes, of course they are. This is good information to distribute; however, it lacks a nuance that the following questions raise. How might a person with early childhood trauma evaluate their sexual identity? How would a disability commonly viewed as undesirable, a disability that interferes with emotional processing, or a condition that comes with chronic or intermittent pain, muddy the waters as a person tries to separate these aspects from their a- or allo- sexual identity? This is a deeply personal question, and the book even acknowledges that it's very hard to prove an absence, but this is uncomfortably dismissive of the people who might need a book analyzing the specifics of asexuality.

The rest of the information included is fine- nothing new, but certainly more comprehensive than many other resources, and the submissions from individuals are varied (while fitting into the same problematic restrictions mentioned above.) A very interesting and relevant book, perhaps even more relevant for its shortcomings.

3.5 stars.
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for allowing me to read an ARC of this book.

I only managed to get through about 80% of this book before it was taken away from me, because I took too long to read it, but I still liked it! It was very informative and I'm glad I read it, so I educated myself just a little bit more on this book's topic.

Personally, I found this book very insightful, and I learned more about Aromatic culture. I was already aware of what constitutes Ace culture, but I hadn't come much research into what Aro culture was.

**Thank you to NetGalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for this ARC in exchange for the honest review**

I think if you are someone who is questioning, this book may only further blur everything and cause confusion, as orientation and identity are explained as being highly subjective, thus the multitude of terms cannot be defined definitively. They state that one of their goals was to help people better understand the aspec world, and I just don't think that was accomplished here, which is disappointing since it was written by an advocacy group. It was also very repetitive at times. Do not get me wrong, I am all about learning more about the aspec community, but I would not recommend this book as the way to do so.

It goes over some types of attraction, as well as various models of attraction. The model that they base the rest of the book off of afterward is the Asexual Identity Development Model by Nicole Robbins, Katherine Graff Low, and Anna Query. It divides an aspec person's journey into seven parts: ignorance, discovery of terminology, identity confusion, exploration and education, identity acceptance, coming out, and identity integration. As someone finds the words to explain what they are experiencing, they seek community, and learn to accept themselves and embrace their new identity.

I do agree that there should be a lot more aspec representation in mainstream media, and that the more people choose to educate themselves about it, the less someone coming out has to worry about the burden of explaining everything to each person they want to let in.

Well when i saw this as read now i immediately hit that button

And you know what i went in hoping it would not just be about one type of Asexual person or one type of Aromantic person or just be AroAce people. And you know what it absolutely delivered

It has a little bit of everything, it talks about AceAlloro, AroAces, AlloAces, AroAllos and gray/demi sexual and romantic. I was just astounded that there was so much inclusiveness around people's identities even with gender, disabilities and Race. It even talks about Kink.

It goes through the basics, it has a glossary at the end for a lot of terms and it was just so lovely to see. I even found myself in the book that i did not think would be possible because I differ from what a lot of AroAces are. And it was just so nice to see it there on the page.

Also it has places to look up for communities, People, Books, and media.

I definitely recommend this book for sure

The only thing i did not like was the HP reference honestly. I guess there might have been more that could have been said but you can only say so much without repeating yourself

CW: HP Reference, Acephobia, Arophobia, Racism, Ableism, Transphobia.

There are so many lines I was highlighting and agreeing with that I could not possibly list them all here without just republishing the book on my site (chuckle). I was nodding my head so many times that I had to put my neck brace back on to remind myself that I am NOT supposed to be nodding my head (chuckle).

The authors’ intent is to make sure that all of the voices within the ACE spectrum are recognized and heard whether they label themselves or not. It does not matter how you identify, label, yell, whisper, or inner-dialogue…you are you and it’s okay. I think this is a message that is not said enough.

Just like the rainbow community, every area of the L, G, B, T, Q, I, A, P, (and any other letter that I do not know of), there are spectrums within each category. This book focuses on the Asexual and Aromantics in the rainbow. I love hearing from all of the different voices in Ace and Aro Journeys.

Some voices are at the beginning of their journey in life. They are just discovering who they are or identifying it. Some are readjusting their compass as they learn more or experience life. Others are like me and have started out labeling themselves as one thing only to change it to something else, and then something else yet again. As we grow and put more labels on everything it can get more complicated and this book tries to make it simpler for those who want to learn.

There are additional resources in the back of the book which I followed up on and they were useful too.

I love to learn and Ace and Aro illuminated this spectrum for me. It allowed me to hear from voices that I don’t normally hear from. I want to thank the authors for taking the time to gather these questionnaires and share the information with us. I would also like to thank the people who stepped forward to share their thoughts and feelings on what is a deeply personal matter. Thank you. I have learned so much from you. Thank you again.

I loved this book so much! As a newly discovered aroace, it’s always wonderful to find stories about other aspec people! Being aspec can feel so lonely, especially when you don’t know anyone else in your life that’s vocally ace. I love how many aspec books have come out in the last couple of years and I can’t wait for even more in the future!!

As an Aspec person, I’m loving how many books on asexuality are coming out.

I am pretty familiar with everything in this book, so it wasn’t something I personally gained a lot from. I do think it’s a very good guide for people who are not as familliar with the community.

I do love how this book went out of its way to include aromantisism in the title. I’m both aro and ace, so it’s great to see both identities being talked about.

This book is a nonfiction book that discusses the process involved with the aromantic and asexual identities.
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It starts out by going over the basics of what the aromantic and asexual labels are defined as, but also says that not everyone who identifies with that label feels that exact way. It also goes into the histories of the communities, and the culture of each. And the final section before it goes into a breakdown of the process of accepting an AroAce identity is a discussion of a few different identity development models that are used across the queer community as a whole.
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The first section is titled Ignorance, which is the total lack of awareness for the existence of either aromanticism, asexuality or both of them. The second part is Discovery of Terminology, which is exactly what it sounds like, finding out that the words for an experience exist. This precedes Identity Confusion, which talks separately about ace-specific and aro-specific experiences with allonormativity and amatonormativity respectively. (These are the assumptions that all human beings are allosexual, and that all human beings pursue love or romance, especially by means of a monogamous long-term relationship.)
Then comes Exploration and Education, which is the idea of finding out more about the experiences of other aroace people, and learning more about the identities, this is typically done in online spaces. The fifth stage is Identity Acceptance and Salience Negotiation, which is the process by which Aro and Ace people begin to accept their identity as part of themselves and decide how important it is to them and their future. The final stages are Coming Out, and Identity Integration. The coming out stage can be more complicated for AroAce people than it might be for any other member of the queer community because of the lack of general awareness and acceptance of the experiences AroAce people have, as well as the socially ingrained idea that everyone should desire and romantic and sexual relationship for their own fulfilment. Identity Integration is about the specific conceptualization of this identity within the context of the rest of one’s
sense of self.
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This book also contains a glossary, an index and an appendix.
~
Personally, I found this book very insightful, and I learned more about Aromatic culture. I was already aware of what constitutes Ace culture, but I hadn't come much research into what Aro culture was.
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Thank you to NetGalley for giving me the opportunity to read this book in exchange for an honest review.