Rating: 2.5/5 stars

“Grief is just love looking for a place to settle.”

The Collected Regrets of Clover left me incredibly conflicted on how to rate it. From a reviewers perspective, it’s such an easy recommendation, as I can picture the exact audience that would eat this book up. If Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine meets The Midnight Library sounds like something you would love; you’re going to adore Clover. From a personal perspective, I hated both those comps, and Clovers story was one of my biggest disappointments of 2023.

The Good:
I was originally drawn to this story, for its unique-sounding premise: a contemporary novel, told from the perspective of a bit of an eccentric young woman, who works as a death-doula: the equivalent of a midwife for the dying. Through her work she meets a variety of people (dying and not) who help her grow and heal past her own grief and regrets.
This had the potential to be a contemporary(-romance) that was not only uplifting and cute, but also offered some depth and emotional balance as well. It certainly succeeds on the former half of that expectation, but not so much the latter…
If you’re looking for a cute romance, featuring a bit of a socially inapt female protagonist leaving her comfort zone and exploring friendship and love: this is it. As for the emotional depth; there are some good passages. Cliché mostly, but only cliché because they are true. They are unfortunately few and far between.

The Bad:
I’ve seen plenty reviewers praise this for being “sweet, but not too saccharine”. I disagree: this was too saccharine for my liking. See also the Ugly-section…
I also really disliked the character of Clover, who’s presented to be a wise, compassionate and selfless person, especially as she offers words of comfort within her job. Outside of her job however, she is shown to be an immature, naive, selfish, unprofessional and a complete hypocrite. She intrudes into people’s lives in ways that made it impossible for me to root for her as a protagonist. Snooping into clients personal affairs without consent, romancing the son of a client, not to mention actually spying on her neighbours with binoculars and it being played off as a “cute quirk”. Yikes… Worse than being an unlikable character, she’s an unbelievable one, with an equally unbelievable profession…

The Ugly (A.k.a. why it personally rubbed me the wrong way):
As some of you may know, I’m a medical doctor, working as a resident in Oncology and Palliative Care for the past year. On many occasions, I’ve felt like somewhat of a “death doula” myself… I’ve been at more than my fair-share of death-beds, both professionally and personally, and it’s because of that that I HATE the romanticization of death in media. The perceived wisdom and grace that’s put onto dying people, the misplaced “battle metaphor” of illness, the sanitized death-scenes depicting perfectly made-up people “drifting off into sleep”. It’s a slap in the face to what the real experience is like.
I’m going to quote one of my favourite passages from The Collected Regrets of Clover:

“Unfortunately, death isn’t always the peaceful slipping away that movies depict it to be – often it’s prolonged and very unpleasant. The sensory chaos of bodily functions shutting down or going awry. The gasping. The look of panic as people cling desperately to their final moments. Sometimes family members turn away or run out of the room to spare themselves from having such a confronting scene seared into their brains as the final memory of their loved ones. That’s why it’s so important to have someone like me there. Someone who won’t look away, no matter how harrowing it gets.”

Ironically, it perpetuates those exact stereotypes it critiques here. Clovers job of Death Doula is presented to consist of roadtrips, fulfilling final wishes, and “doing fun things” with terminally ill people and their families. I hate to break it to the fans of this book, but this isn’t the reality of palliative care. It’s beautiful, it’s fulfilling and there are unexpected moments of joy to be had, but it’s also incredibly taxing and far from easy. I wish Mikki Brammer had gone into those aspects as well, rather than serving up a glazed and sugarcoated imitation of the truth instead.

Many thanks to the publisher for providing me with an ARC on exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.

A wonderful story, about the meaning of life and death and the dignity we have with both. It’s a pougnant and engaging debut. Highly recommend.

Where do I start with this book. It was absolutely beautiful. As soon as I read the first chapter I was lost in the story. I devoured it in one day and then was sad when I finished. Loved reading it. It was so Beautifully written, very easy to read. It had a Great undertone to the story and a beautiful message one I think most people could relate to. I keep saying beautiful because I don't know how else to describe it. Loved it Loved it, loved it! Can't wait to read more from this author 💗

Well this was interesting completely different from my normal read, it was interesting and I am glad I read it. It however took me a while to read and I had to keep dipping in an out

I was given a free copy by netgalley and the publishers but the review is entirely my own.

This was such a super wholesome read - perfect for fans of Matt Haigs The Midnight Library, it gave me all of the feels and i definitely shed a few tears! xx

What a breath of fresh air, a book where romance and a relationship is not at all the goal to have a happy life. I enjoyed the writing style, the beautiful quotes, the courage to write a book that deals with death and all that comes with it and Clover's search for herself. Absolutely recommended!

Oh what an absolutely gorgeous book. I laughed and cried, I loved it so much. The characters are wonderful - Clover, Leo, Sylvie, Claudia, Hugo, Bessie and the rest. This book was just such a delight. Uplifting, inspiring and simply wonderful.

I loved the sound of this one when I first read the synopsis but unfortunately I just no longer have any urge to read it. I'm not sure if that's down to my mental health so I really do apologise.

Lovely book and storyline however I would have liked to know more about what happened after she stopped collecting regrets

We cant be reminded too often of what's important in life, and The Collected Regrets of Clover does that in abundance. Clover is a death doula, working with people at the very ends of their lives to ensure it can meet their wishes as far as possible. Throughout the story of her working with such a wide range of people, we as readers get to see what they felt was important in their one precious lives and what they regretted. There's a love story as well but for me, the power of the story is the message about about grabbing opportunities when you can and making the most of your live whilst you still can.

This was an unusual story, I was unsure about ho0w depressing this story would be. However, it was not depressing it was a beautiful story that celebrates life.

There were some characterisation issues and some parts that felt forced and unrealistic but overall it is such a moving story that you can forgive all those things,

It is the first book I have read by Mikki Brammer but I would not hesitate to pick up another one. Thank you NetGalley, Mikki Brammer and the publishers for allowing me to read and review this story.

The collected regrets of Clover is a beautiful story about learning to know yourself even when you think you already know everything. It is about growing as a process and not a result, as well as the importance of who and what you choose to be.
Starting with an intriguing first chapter that shocks the reader from the first line, the book proceeds by taking you to know the main character as she is in the present, and as she was in the past. This way of narrating the person lets the reader see how past experiences help shape who we become. It also gives a good rhythm to the chapters, alternating between now and then.
In the first chapters we as readers get to know Clover as a thirty-something that enjoys her own company and is contented living as she does. But is it really so? [SPOILER] The more we read the more we perceive that Clover herself is indeed satisfied with what she is doing in her life, but feels some things are missing from it, and we get to see her decide to try and get out of her comfort zone.
I must admit that I can totally relate to the anxiety of meeting new people and try to turn them into new friends, as well as maintaining the relation once it is established. I think that the friendship between Clover and Sylvie is realistic, and I appreciate them being able to talk about many different topics. I did not love how Clover seems to be extremely teenager-y about her relationship history; I do like how well she fares in relating to people in her job and in being herself with her friends because it does feel she is an adult in those cases, but when she talks about never having had a relationship I felt like I was reading the diary of a fourteen years old. I imagine that it is because the author wanted to show how inexperienced she is in that field, but I think a person in their thirties would behave differently from a teenager.
That said, it is also possible that the author just wanted to show the difference between [SPOILER] how Clover relates to Sebastian and how she relates to Hugo. When reading the blossoming of the relationship with Hugo I finally felt at peace and at ease after being irritated with everyone when Clover and Sebastian tried to date.
In general, I think that one of the best things about this story was how death and people dying and it being the end of their lives were treated with calm and honesty, and not necessarily as the worst thing in the world. There is a point when Clover says that she could not say anything at Claudia because everything would have been wrong and because Claudia just needed her to be there and to listen and to see her, and it was the most honest moment of death I have ever read.
I also loved the feeling of hopefulness and light-heartedness I felt after finishing the book. It does not happen often for me to be happy and sort of relieved at the end of a book, but in this case Clover (and the author Mikki Brammer) let me go with the hope of finding myself and what I really want to do in life, just as Clover succeeds to do.
I am incredibly happy to have been able to read this book prior to its publishing, and for that I must thank NetGalley and Penguin General.

It took me a long time to read this book. But it shouldn't have because it was beautiful. It has such a good message. I should start with what attracted me to the book. I love the cover and the title itself. I love books about second chances and death is always terrifying and intriguing. Therefore, this was a perfect book for me to read

You immediately love Clover, she's so vulnerable but real. The other characters take a while to whole heartedly love, but they add depth!

I loved the plot and how Clover makes it her responsibility to fulfil everyones regrets, although I feel it could have been taken a step further. The ending was perfect!

“But the secret to a beautiful death is to live a beautiful life.”

Though its subject is confronting, The Collected Regrets of Clover is a life affirming debut from Mikki Brammer.

Thirty-six-year-old Clover Brooks works as a death doula in New York City, a vocation inspired in part by being absent when the grandfather who raised her passed away. It is her privilege, she feels, to support people during the last precious weeks, days, or hours of their lives, but in surrounding herself with death, Clover has forgotten how to live.

Clover is a sympathetic character who lives quietly in the rent controlled apartment she grew up in with only her rescue pets for company. Her history of loss, including both her parents at six years old and her grandfather, has left her with unresolved grief that has affected her ability to make secure social connections. Given the nature of her job, Clover’s relationships are generally fleeting, though she visits death cafe’s (gatherings for people to discuss death and dying) when loneliness threatens to overwhelm her. It’s at one of these meetings that she meets Sebastian who hires her to support his beloved grandmother, Claudia who has end stage pancreatic cancer.

Claudia is a wonderful character, at 91 years of age she is a tough, no nonsense type of woman, who has lived a full life, but is not without her regrets. Though Clover has always kept a professional distance between herself and her clients, she and Claudia quickly develop a close bond, and whereas in the past Clover has simply recorded the last words of her clients in one of three notebooks titled Regrets to be examined later, this time she decides to play an active role in resolving one. It is in attempting to track down the source of Claudia’s biggest regret that Clover is challenged to finally face her own.

In balance with the thought-provoking exploration of the themes of loneliness, regret, death and grief, Brammer also examines compassion, grace, friendship, and love. Though occasionally maudlin The Collected Regrets of Clover is never mawkish, instead it’s ultimately inspiring and uplifting. I also found it informative, fascinated by the unfamiliar role of a death doula and the services they can provide.

A captivating and stirring novel, The Collected Regrets of Clover is a reminder that life is too short to not take chances with your heart.

Thank you NetGalley and publisher for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

I will definitely read more by this author.

I devoured this book! It was a really lovely read and resonated with me.

This novel looked directly at how we see and experience death and that is refreshing. Clover was an interesting main character especially as we got to see her foibles too. It was fascinating to see how she made meaning out of her life experiences and became a death doula.

This was a beautiful story about soul searching, romance and friendship. I enjoyed getting to know Clover as she began to grow as a person. Lovely.

Clover Brooks has been fascinated with death since she watched her kindergarten teacher die during class. She grew up to become a scholar, travelling the world to learn about different customs and rituals. When her grandfather dies alone, Clover returns to New York and becomes a death doula, bringing comfort to the dying and their families. Occupied by others’ wishes, regrets and grief, she forgets about her own life and becomes a recluse. Soon, a new neighbour and a client force her out of her comfort zone...

The Collected Regrets of Clover was a surprisingly hopeful read. It touches on the subject of death and grief but also love, friendship and living life to the fullest. The author speaks openly and honestly about death, which many still consider taboo. Clover’s experience shows different reactions to dying and grieving, from fear and regrets to acceptance. I found this read quite emotional because of this subject matter.

I have to say that I really enjoyed reading about Clover. She is rather lonely and distrustful, keeping people at a distance to avoid disappointment and suffering. I loved watching her gradually open up for love and friendship, especially her relationship with Claudia, a photographer who teaches her about her passion for art and life.

Absolutely loved this book. A unique story following an unusual but oh so likeable character with a very different job. Very readable, super interesting and ultimately leaves you feeling great about life.

This book is heartwarming, sad and happy at times. Gives you hope. I enjoyed it and would recommend to everyone.