**Thank you to NetGalley and Book*hug Press for this ARC in exchange for an honest review**

This is one of the best books I have read so far this year, and it's a story that needed to be written, that needed to be shared with the world.

The memoir opens mid rape, as Eden describes some of the details of what is happening to her. She tells us that she has been raped not once, but TWICE in her life already, at only 37 years old. One of the biggest factors that will come into play is the fact that she is a bisexual, polyamorous woman, which just brings on extra judgment on top of everything.

Eden tells us about her first date with Liam, the man who would later sexually assault her at the end of the night. They met up at a local sports bar, and almost immediately he asks her go to upstairs for more privacy, where he picks a booth in a far corner. At this point Eden is starting to feel a little uneasy, as his grip on her hand had been forceful and his choice of booth questionable. She tells us about the unofficial rules of girlhood that all women grow up hearing, but that sometimes men know them too and they know their way around them. Men are being taught how to succeed and woman are being taught how to survive, she says. He took her phone out of her hands, and seemed intent on getting her drunk. She spent the rest of the night trying to figure out how to leave. Once she does, Liam follows her on the way to her car, grabs her, and forces her into the passenger side of his car, where he proceeds to rape her.

As Eden arrives home, she is in a lot of pain, and bruises have started to show. All she wants to do is take a shower, but no matter how much she tries to scrub everything, she still feels dirty. She eventually goes to the hospital, where she first encounters a nurse, tells her about what happened, and is met with judgment about her polyamory. Doctors are nurses are not supposed to pass judgment about anything; their job is to help the patient regardless. She described the nurse as being detached and she wonders if this is such a common thing that she has been desensitized to it. The doctor gives her some medications just in case she had been exposed to anything.

As the days go by, she is frightened by sounds, doesn't like changes to her routine, or being alone. She dyes her hair, only wears non-revealing clothing, and she always has a pair of boots in the car. All of the places she and Joe used to hang out at are now too loud, busy, or dark, and if she does go somewhere, she makes sure her back is to the wall where she was sitting. She doesn't sleep, eat, laugh, or have sex. She doesn't want to be touched by anyone.

We are told about the time her and her husband, Joe, went to therapy after he cheated on her multiple times. In fact, it was their therapist that suggested they open their marriage and be polyamorous in the first place.

Speaking of therapists, Eden is assigned a therapist, Farrah, to help her with the aftermath of the rape. She explains to her what happened and Farrah tells her that it sounds like she has post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). She eventually asks about options if she did want to file a report, and Farrah gets in contact with a detective who comes to her office to talk to Eden. The detective asks her what happened. So, this will now be the third person she has told the story to and had to relive the trauma yet again. (This reminds me of the Netflix series Unbelievable, where Marie has to tell her story to a police officer, a detective, a nurse, the detective again, then she has to write it out, and then she has to tell the story again.) It must be exhausting. The detective was even more detached than the nurse. The detective says that she should consider reporting, but then describes what will happen if she does, including only a 4% chance of a conviction after going through everything. That's enough to make most women think, why bother?

Eden kind of goes way off track after that, drinking and doing coke. One night she contemplates suicide by taking a bunch of sleeping pills while drinking, but ultimately decides against taking enough to die. She does eventually go back to seeing Farrah.

One day she is at the library with her sons and the man there tells her about a writers' retreat, so she submits and application, and gets accepted. While there, one of the girls tells her about pitch writing and gets her to submit a story about taking her son to a pride parade, since he had been questioning his sexuality. She also submits a writing piece about her rape to another magazine, and getting back to running after her rape to yet another.

Much of the time, the way Eden described the scenes, I felt like I was there with her, feeling what she was feeling. It was like reading a thriller, only unfortunately it actually happened to a real person. There is also a discussion throughout the book about her childhood and her relationships with her parents and sister.

I do hope that the formatting gets fixed though, because this e-copy was missing the beginning part of every sentence starting each chapter, and all throughout the book, there were letters missing from a bunch of words on every single page. This made figuring out what words they were supposed to be difficult at times. This did not take away from the story, but it was quite annoying to deal with.

Crying Wolf *TRIGGER WARNING REGARDING SA*

After being brutally assaulted after a first date, Eden is confronted by an apprehensive world. ‘Are you sure you were raped?’ ‘Did they misunderstand you?’ ‘Maybe they thought you liked it.’ Already regarded with doubt, Eden’s polyamorous lifestyle exposes her to ridicule and disbelief from onlookers and herself, setting forth her path towards self-destruction and recovery.

This memoir really broke my heart. Boudreau's bravery to confront her trauma and publicise her story is a type of courage I can only be envious of. We learn that healing is not a linear process, that it really isn’t someone else’s job to fix us, but only ourselves. Whilst Boudreau’s story is not unique, akin to many other harrowing stories that women share every day, Boudreau highlights her unique position existing within a polyamorous relationship, and how that exposes her to a different type of victim blaming, from herself and other people.

Whilst not a particularly nice topic to read about, Boudreau’s writing is captivating in its candid, succinct style, driving you to read on. As a result of this style, it makes it an incredibly accessible text, one that demands to be read.

I hope this is not the last time I read her work.

This book was filled with an honesty that was heartbreaking and powerful all at the same time. I could really feel all of the emotions that our author expressed, and it made me very sad for her as a person in this horrible situation. This book was all about our main character and her horrible attack that she suffered at the hands of her date. I can’t even imagine having to go through something so terrible, but our author was able to write about it without turning it into something that (unfortunately) has been talked about a million times. The descriptions in this book were fantastic and I loved how most of it was written on what she was thinking at the time and how could she have changed it (not that she could) instead of being focused on the attack. This was very different than other books I’ve read similar to this because it seemed more personal like I was being told the story by a friend and not a complete stranger. I can’t imagine the strength it must have taken to write about this horrible experience and relive it all over again with her thoughts replaying in everyone’s head but that is exactly why this book was so good it put you in the victim’s shoes and allowed you to really feel the trauma that people have to live with after something like this happens to them. Another thing that was very different about this book was our main character Eden was married at the time of her attack. She and her husband had an open relationship and when people discovered what happened to her it was very sad to see them become judgemental instead of sympathetic. This book shows all of the pain that Eden went through during and even after her attack and after reading everything she went through I understand why sometimes the victims don’t come forward. The aftermath of something so horrible shouldn’t be just as bad as the attack itself yet unfortunately sometimes it is. This book was amazing and really lit a fire in me that made me very sad and very angry at the same time. This book will pull the reader in and make you want to protect her. I’m so glad that I was able to check this book out, don’t’ be turned off by its strong subject this is one that will get everyone talking.

It takes an incredibly brave, special writer to lay her soul bare. Eden Boudreau is that writer. In her raw, vulnerable, at times gut-wrenching, and always inspiring memoir, CRYING WOLF, Boudreau details her violent sexual assault and her painful journey toward healing. An openly bisexual, polyamorous woman, Boudreau anticipates every negative judgment and the blame others will place upon her because she is her own harshest critic. Yet, through deep soul-searching, therapy, and the power of the pen, she finds her path toward self-acceptance and gives a voice to those unable to share their own stories of violence and terror. CRYING WOLF is a tale of strength, sorrow, and authenticity, and a lesson to be ourselves, because we have only one life to live.

Title: Crying Wolf: A Memoir
Rate 5/5 🌟
Literature: Non-fiction

I have to say it has been a while since I haven't posted. As I read and decided to look for an opportunity, thank you NetGalley for giving me a chance to rate this book. I have to say is one of my best selections yet!

I have been waiting for a while for something to bring out my feelings in a solid writing. Something to relate with, and show vulnerability and understanding of some things. This book had it for me.

*This book contains sensitive topics.*

One of the best books I read this year! THANK YOU @edenboudreau
For writing this piece.

Wow! Five stars! This book captured my attention from the first page. The writing is so good. It’s descriptive and captivating. The story is heartbreaking but Eden is resilient and brave.

Thanks to NetGalley for the advanced copy for the purpose of this review. I really enjoyed it even if it was difficult to read at times due to the subject matter.

One woman's journey thru life. Interesting and insightful.
Thanks to author, publisher and netgalley for the chance to read this book. While I got the book for free, it had no bearing on the rating I gave it.