This was a different read for me! I found the writing style challenging at first but eventually I was sucked in to the American (specifically Harlem) culture. This was helped along with references to the great music of that time. Mecca did a great job of launching you into this world and the descriptive prose was beautiful in parts.

As I’m certain was the intention, I felt uncomfortable in parts with the food talk, and can imagine it could evoke tricky feelings for those struggling with ED. Mecca manages to capture the unique culture of 90s Harlem with the universal experience of being a girl in an era driven by size zero, body-shaming, and the rise of the ‘almond mom’ while being surrounded by temptation and escape in the form of food.

The book captured a reality that (despite all the food descriptions) wasn’t sugarcoated. There were perhaps a few too many low points in this book for me to truly relax and enjoy it, but overall it was an interesting read.

Such a well written book! The author's writing style felt fresh and really engaged me throughout. The story is based in Harlem in the 90s. I loved reading about the music, the food, the scene at the time. It's a coming of age story and I loved the central character! I read this book in two sittings I didn't want to put it down!

I adored this cover so just had to pick it up and it did not disappoint!!

Thanks to Netgalley and the publishers for letting me read this book in exchange for my honest feedback.

Mecca Jamilah Smith's "Big Girl" unfolds the life of Malaya, exploring the scrutiny her family places on her eating habits and the criticism of her weight. The novel delves into the complexities of identity, relationships, and societal expectations, particularly for a black woman, shaping Malaya's self-perception and contemplation of the women she might become.

"This is what it is to be a woman. Everything is your job."

Malaya, a reserved individual, expresses herself through actions rather than words, creating poignant moments where silence is misunderstood, influencing the course of relationships. This aspect reminded me of Sally Rooney's "Normal People."

I appreciated the incorporation of Biggie Smalls references and lyrics, feeling that the author authentically captured the ambiance of the 80s and 90s. The narrative also spotlights the evolving landscape of Harlem during Malaya's childhood and the challenges of neighborhood gentrification.

"We make magic, they consume it, make it theirs. We have to start over, and we do. Over and over again. It’s hard on people."

For those who identify with being or have been a "Big Girl," many aspects of the story, especially the character of Ma-Mère, will resonate. Ma-Mère's character, disliked yet understood, serves as a testament to the well-crafted storytelling. I particularly enjoyed Ma-Mère's sayings and phrases, such as "they got enough lights to put the sun out of business" and "called so much I thought Alexander Graham Bell himself would have to get up out of the grave and cut the telephone wire to make him stop."

"Sometimes you have to act like the world was made for you, even if all sense and signs say it’s not."

NetGalley provided me with an ARC copy of “Big Girl” in exchange for this honest review.

Ahhhhh I don't know how I feel about this book.
I guess the author got what she wanted, as in still thinking about it even though I've turned the last page.

You were constantly rooting for Malaya to stand up for herself. Other characters, for example, Neyla came with certain frustrations.

I think this book really has the potential to make you like, but it just reminded me too much of my life.

I loved this book. An exploration of inter-generational eating disorders as well as a queer coming of age story with Harlem itself as a key character. Blown away that it’s a first novel. More please!

A wonderful description of a time and place - a recreation of Harlem of the 1980s and its gentrification. It is both funny and sad at times, looking at the pressures on young girls and women to conform to expectations about their appearance. I really felt for the main protagonist and her family.

Amazing had me both laughing out loud and reaching for the tissues. It was funny and brutally real as only true live can be. I loved it

An unashamed celebration of finding your way into the skin that you exist in. Set in Harlem during the early 1990s, Malaya witnesses the world around her changing, supposedly 'improving' as she struggles to come to terms with societal expectations and her own sexuality. Malaya has always been big, as has her mother. Both struggle with the idea of what should make them desirable and acceptable in the eyes of those around them. Sullivan is careful not to judge, allowing her characters to develop in a truthful way that makes them relatable and powerful. This book is for anyone who has been made to feel small by the world around them and is joyous in the acceptance offered by our heroine.

With thanks to Netgalley and the author for giving me the chance to review this book.

Sadly I couldn't get into the book Big girl, I tried to keep reading but it just didn't hold my interest, I really did not like Malaya, and found her very annoying. I didn't make it past chapter 4

I am sorry but this just wasn’t the book for me. I couldn’t relate to the story, through no fault of the writer.

Big Girl is a lovely coming of age story of a girl struggling to navigate the trials of growing up whilst her unhealthy lifestyle choices lead to a ballooning waistline and a diagnosis of morbid obesity.

This was a really enjoyable story, however for me, the entire narration was a little lacking. The story follows Malaya's life but it felt like Malaya was an emotionless shell for most of the novel. This very well might be deliberate as a commentary on the way that other people see, and treat, those who don't conform to societal expectations, however, it was a little too much for me. The entire way throughout he novel, I could not really figure out what Malaya's viewpoint on her weight was. We get plenty of other people's opinions, her loving but frustrated mother, her harshly truthful grandmother, But i don't truly know if Malaya was bothered by her size, or just by the treatment she received because of her size.

The story explores life as a teenager struggling to fit in and highlights the harsh and dangerous realities of obesity, and addiction. There are elements of queer romance which are very well-explored and realistic, and an unexpected tragedy which changes the tone of the novel for a time.

Overall it was a good novel. A little more exploration of Malaya's emotional state and how she feels about her weight and the way people see her would possibly make this, for me, an exceptional read, unfortunately it just falls short. I will still be absolutely recommending this though!

If there is one thing that should be taken away from reading this book it is that children are not ignorant. Through out the early parts of the book when Malaya is 8 the people around her treat her like a child and as a result they don’t realise that she has her own thoughts and feelings. The damage that has been caused by the words of adults are a leading factor in her later depression as it is clear that the societal pressures to be skinny and fit western beauty standards has serious impact on children. I hope people who read this become aware that childhood is a very important time and can have lifelong impacts on an individual.

I liked how this books portrayed Malaya’s childlike sense of wonder. Everything was being questioned and you could really feel the curiosity of the character. In particular, her desire to understand what it means to be a women. This was a really good example of how children learn gender roles as they watch others of the same sex to figure out how to act out their gender. There were many discussions in this book about womanhood and one thing I found fascinating was when they talked about how women speak about other women. One would believe there would be a sense of solidarity. However, what we see in the book is that disrespecting the appearance of other women has become so normalised that a child like Malaya sees that as just another part of their gender rather than internalised misogyny due to a patriarchal society that demands way too much from women in terms of their bodies.

Ok yeah there is probably not enough room for me to express all my thoughts but anyways by this book it is amazing and insightful

As someone who’s always struggled with weight, this book provided a rich and emotional experience. Family and societal disapproval of being overweight is a painful, insidious, relentless experience and it can crush. The story is set in Harlem and the author, seemingly effortlessly, brings the neighbourhood to life. The gentrification of a black area by white people was a topic touched on too. I loved this book. It was a rollercoaster of *feels* for me. Many thanks to Netgalley for an arc of this book.

A searingly insightful and fearless novel about what it means to be in a bigger body as a black girl/woman, amongst a changing societal, often toxic, landscape.

This was such a good book. I love historical fiction, especially when it is about eras/ situations that I previously knew nothing about and this was definitely one of those books. It was so well researched and so compelling in its narrative that not only did I love reading it but I felt that I learned too. A really enjoyable read and perfect for any fans of historical fiction.

The E-Book could be improved and more user-friendly, such as links to the chapters, no significant gaps between words and a cover for the book would be better. It is very document-like instead of a book. A star has been deducted because of this.

This is a first for me by the author and one I enjoyed and I would read more of their work. The book cover is eye-catching and appealing and would spark my interest if in a bookshop. Thank you to the author, publisher and Netgalley for this ARC.

3.5/5.

Big Girl is the story of Mylaya. It follows her through her life from childhood into late teens. Mylaya lives in Harlem - a place that is undergoing a rapid change, shops and restaurants seem to come and go by the day. Mylaya lives with her parents, who both have good jobs and aspirations for a nice life. Mylaya attends a local private school where she struggles to fit in. The problem for Mylaya is that she is fat. We first meet her and her mum on the way to a weight watchers group where Mylaya will undergo the umpteenth weigh in without properly understanding what is going on.

The first and only thing that people seem to focus on for Mylaya is her weight. Even her parents are obsessed with it. Her mum shares her weight loss battle as does her grandmother, and even her friend Sheneice is a big girl too - though not as big as Mylaya. Her father, on the other hand, seems blind to her weight and tells her she is beautiful as she is, he sneaks take aways to her when her mum is late from work and ignores the Dr's pleas that Mylaya is morbidly obese. Mylaya's problem is she likes to eat - anything and everything. She sneaks out of bed at night to clear the fridge, steals money from her mums purse to buy snacks on the way to school and even uses the emergency $5 from her dad to by sweets. The other kids at school are mean to her, even when she tries to join in their games.

At 16, Mylaya's parents discuss her having gastric bypass surgery. Mylaya is not keen but no one seems to care what she thinks. The Dr is very excited to work with a young person and explains how there is no reason she would die during surgery as she is young and otherwise healthy. Seemingly blind to the fact that their daughter is chronically depressed and skipping school to stay in bed, her parents press on each with their own agenda's that are driving a wedge down the middle of the family.

Over the years that the book covers Mylaya is abused by two different men, both who use her for their own pleasure and because she has no self worth she doesn't have the strength to prevent it. Eventually, a family tragedy helps Mylaya find her voice and begin to find herself.

I wanted to like this book, I really did. However, the constant descriptions of eating, eating, eating made me feel quite sick at times. The pace of the book is so pedestrian slow that I longed to skip pages to see if anything was going to happen. It is a book that covers an issue so weighty that it feels heavy to read and I found myself avoiding reading it because it is very depressing. It plays into the notion that a woman's worth is only measured by her weight and by nothing else - she finally starts to get noticed when she begins to lose weight kind of by accident. Mylaya breaks furniture left right and centre and I found this to be a little far fetched, at her heaviest maybe the odd chair or two but there is constant reference to the restaurant where she breaks a chair, at home she has a special metal garden chair as her kitchen chair because she breaks anything else...really? She wears mens clothes from the Big and Tall store because it is the only place she can get clothes to fit - and she even outgrows their largest sizes.....really? The scales at the Dr's office aren't big enough for her so she never really knows exactly what she weighs. Her friend Sheniece becomes the centre of attraction at school when she loses weight and it is at this point that her and Malaya drift apart for a while. And on it goes.

It just didn't sit comfortably with me that Malaya is mistreated by almost everyone because she doesn't conform to the required body type. Her hobbies and interests are so secondary it's like people don't even see her, including her parents. Where one tries to force her to be thin, the other turns a blind eye to her dangerously unhealthy weight.

Some will like this and find it inspiring - yes she gets her 'happy ending' but it is almost incidental, like she has been tortured through years of weight loss clinics and diets and ends up losing weight because she finds her own voice and starts making people laugh...what? I just couldn't get on board with this and I was left confused as to what the message of the book really is.

Thanks to netgalley and the publishers for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Big Girl has made me feel both seen and exposed for the way it intertwined fatness, depression and anxiety. The maternal projection of eating disorders is a vicious cycle that flips Malaya's world in a matter of seconds: counting calories, body- and diet-shaming, and most importantly the precarious balance game of giving and retracting approval encapsulate Malaya's struggles, along with her exploring what it means and takes to create, her sexuality, and finding her drive in life.

Thank you to Netgalley and Little Brown Group UK for the ARC. This is an honest review and all views are my own.

This is a gritty coming-of-age story about Malaya, a Harlem-born teen growing up in the 1990s. She is shy, funny, creative, intelligent. However, as is so often the case with women and girls, all people can see is her size. We see her from the age of eight, attending WeightWatchers, then in her teens contemplating bariatric surgery: the only conversations that take place around her are about her weight.

We see Malaya struggle through her teenage years, getting bigger and bigger. She is vulnerable and abused by certain males in her life and her lack of self respect prevents her from doing anything about it. However, it is not until tragedy strikes in her personal life that things start to change positively for Malaya.

This was not an easy book for me, personally, to read - maybe it was the subject content. It felt very hopeless for quite some time. However, the book does end on a positive note. After all, this is a coming-of-age story and Malaya learns a lot about herself and her own outlook on life along the way.

The characters in the book were wonderfully clear and colourful, and Harlem itself seemed to sing as a character. Everyone was realistic and anyone with a multi-generational family will see shades of themselves. I think throughout, I just wanted the positivity to come much sooner!

What really struck me with this narrative was the message behind it that will be so familiar to a lot of women out there: weight issues are passed down through the generations. It seems to be a self-perpetuating narrative that has a mind of its own. This is something I know I have witnessed first hand but seeing it in black and white within the book got me thinking about how many other women have lived under this shadow.

Sullivan’s is an important and fresh voice in the coming of age genre. I was completely immersed in 8 year old Malaya’s life. We’re taken to 1990s Harlem in all its glorious variety and richness; its music, its art its street food. And into the heart and mind of Malaya as she grows up to discover herself and negotiates life’s pressures.
Coming from a high achieving family, she attends an elite, mainly white prep school, has a professor for a mother and a waspish grandmother, who desperately try to get her; to lose weight, for Malaya is obese; and attracts much cruel and destructive attention in public, school and at home.
Despite this, she puts on her lipstick, her big man clothes and hoodlum boots and lives for food. And art and hip hop.
Once tragedy hits her family and hormones and sex rear their heads, an impressive and self assured young woman emerge.
Thank you #NetGalley and #Little Brown Book Group UK, for my advance copy.