Ravishing, beautifully written novel about sexuality, what it is and how it can be navigated in the day to day life. Discussing this as a topic in the current times is mandatory and this knowledge is undoubtedly power

This is a great source of inclusive and accessible sex and relationship education for young people. I am so incredibly glad it exists and will absolutely be getting a copy to have on hand for the young people I work with.

I saw this book on Netgalley and got so excited, I had to snap it up. On the cover it says “An LGBTQIA+ guide to puberty, sex, and gender.” After reading it, I can safely say that THIS is the book to hand your LGBTQIA+ teen to answer answer a lot of those questions that they might be embarrassed to ask you.

I feel like there really aren’t a lot of thorough sex ex/body books but this one does not hold back! I also appreciate how diverse the people and bodies in the book are.

I was so happy to see the use of AFAB/AMAB (assigned female at birth/assigned male at birth) and “bodies with vaginas” and “bodies with penises.” It makes more people feel included.

Probably my favorite things in the book are the drawings/charts of not just body parts but also gender affirming surgery (such as vaginoplasty, metoidioplasty, and phalloplasty).

The book talks about a wide range of subjects including bodies, gender, sexuality, consent, being an ally, intersectionality, masturbation, types of sex, safer sex, and so much more. Each chapter ends with a quick question and answer section.

My only real complaint about the book is that they push adoption pretty hard and refer to it as “giving up” a baby instead of “placing a baby for adoption”. But they do still talk about other options.

Thank you to NetGalley for providing me with a review copy.

There is a lot of information for anyone interested in learning more about sexuality, gender, sex, and our bodies.

It was helpful to have definitions, examples, and diagrams. I think the most valuable part, was the questions within each chapter. Many people get uncomfortable asking difficult or what they believe are "embarrassing" questions. Having answers to questions such as these helps all of us to learn. As a professional in the wellness sector, I found the answers to be a good resource for me. I know I can use the responses as a framework if I were to be asked something similar.

The tone of the writing is relaxed and open. It came across as educational and conversational which fits the target audience.

Thank you net galley for a digital copy for my honest review.

I loved this book. I felt like to is very inclusive and easy to understand. I felt that some parts were rushed or not in the best order. The person stories took away from the information in the chapter. I think there should be a section at the end for personal stories. Especially since this book is to educate.

This was a wonderful read. When I was growing up we had The Care and Keeping Guide to Girls/Feelings which for its time (late 90s-early 2000s) was helpful. I'm 28 now but even still this book talked about things that are universal for kids to go through. I loved how inclusive the book was as well as the picture diagrams. This is a book that will really help youth today. Especially with the rise of anti-LGBTQIA and transphobia going on in this country. Having a one stop guide for all things puberty, sexuality and gender will really really help youth today. I'll be buying a copy or 2 for my local library in hopes that it makes it into the hands of someone who needs it.

Thank you NetGalley for giving me an e-copy to read and review.

This is a mixed bag of a book, it has some really good fundamentals and I love the ethos behind it, but there are a handful of things that mean I’d be cautious about recommending it.

The good - Really nice to see an actual teen has had some input, I often see ‘guides for teens’ that I, as a mid-40s woman, can tell are written by adults who think they know teenagers! The inclusivity is brilliant, and the explanations of lesser-known terms and sexualities is refreshing to see.

The annoying - Who is this book for?? The cover suggests queer teens, but the contents suggests all teens. I think a redesign of the cover/wording is a good idea, very few straight/cis-appearing teens are going to pick this up, and I’d argue that it’s those in the closet (to themselves and others) that would actually benefit from this book the most. Equally parents of not-out teens are less likely to grab this. The geolocation-specific parts of the book are also quite frustrating, it talks about porn and sexting, without acknowledging local legal variations. It also talks about “your yearly Dr appointment” like this is a universal thing, rather than a US middle-class thing.

The confusing - the contents jump around quite a lot. In the chapter about emotional relationships, for example, it jumps right from “how do I ask someone out” to “being polyam”, with no gentle change! It then jumps back into explaining different types of romantic attraction. The author seems keen to include details of her personal life for the reader to relate to (which I personally think it’s a good idea), but here it feels like them being poly overshadowed logical ordering. Equally there is a *lot* of info about being trans/transitioning, which is important info but seems to overpower the other (statistically more likely) sections.

Overall I think I would buy it for a teen I knew, but I’d put a sticker over the cover art in case they didn’t think it wasn’t relevant to them!



I received an advance copy for free from NetGalley, on the expectation that I would provide an honest review.

A parent and child duo attempt to create an inclusive, expansive Sex Ed guide in “It’s Totally Normal!”

While I definitely found fault with certain parts of this book, I will say that it’s definitely more comprehensive than the education I received in public school in the mid-aughts. I appreciate the special attention to queer and trans people and even autistic and other neurodivergent people. The book includes some decent illustrations that do a good job representing diverse people, though overall there wasn’t much discussion of disability (especially physical) in the text. I was also surprised that we got diagrams of genital harmonization surgery because that is not something that the target audience of this book is likely to be pursuing, but it wasn’t harmful. I would have preferred a diagram of how to put a condom on properly instead of just having it explained in text, though.

I will list some gripes I had with the book’s construction here:

- Much of the book includes personal anecdotes from the author about her life. While I understand wanting to connect with the reader, this is at odds with the rest of the text, which is more focused on being informative. While it’s nice to know the author went through some struggles and came out the other side, the details are taking up a lot of real estate in the book without much value to those who don’t share her exact experience.
- Each chapter ends with a significant number of advice column style questions where specific situations unique to the asker are addressed. Again, this could show other people similar to a specific reader, but overall I would have preferred the book properly synthesize all the questions and just write a cohesive text. It’s unlikely whoever asked that question is going to buy a whole book to get their individualized answer.
- The order of the chapters surprised me, since based on the author’s stated focus on social and emotional learning I thought the text would build from relationships into sex. It made it necessary several times to say “more on that later” instead of following a natural progression.

More specific gripes:
- the book perpetuates the myth that shaved hair grows back thicker (specifically on women’s upper lips)
- there were numerous references to breaking the hymen or some people having broken their hymen with physical activity at a young age, which is a common myth and just not how that works at all.
- while the book does address that sending nudes can be illegal/considered distribution of child sex abuse materials, it also normalizes minors accessing websites or apps to view pornography they are legally not allowed to. Specific apps that are age restricted to adults are mentioned. I understand acknowledging that teens view pornography, but I would not have addressed it in this way.
- the book brings up the option of adoption if you are pregnant before bringing up abortion, and does not challenge the problems with the modern adoption industry. There is also a lot of weird pushing into adoption if you choose to keep your pregnancy because of studies that show if you keep your child they will have a bad life. There isn’t any discussion of teen parenting, just pregnancy.
- the book suggests plan B or other emergency contraceptives without a common important note that weight affects the dosage and fat people may not get the desired effect from these medications.
- the book mentions the effectiveness percentages of contraceptives without really explaining what they mean or details about how to achieve that percentage.
- a few of the questions were clearly sent in by adults and the answers didn’t really apply to teens.

The relationship parts at the end were well done, and it seems to be more the author’s expertise. I wouldn’t mind giving this to a teen in my life, but I think we can do better.

Thank you for allowing me access to this!
This books strikes the perfect balance between education and anecdote, integrating personal experience with factual information! As someone who had a heteronormative sex education but is part of the LGBTQ+ community it is so refreshing to get to learn about what a more inclusive and up-to-date sex-ed is like.
This book is perfectly accessible to it's target audience and doesn't seem 'cringey' or like the authors are trying desperately to appeal to teens and pre-teens. It would be a brilliant book to have in school libraries or read in schools, definitely something teachers should consult to better understand how to approach inclusive sex-ed.
Very authentic and very informative!
5 stars.

A fantastic guide on sex-Ed, and puberty thats super inclusive. The only real complaint that I had was when it went explaining trans surgeries, I feel that they should have included more Ethan the generic ones that are the most known. Absolutely recommend this everyone.

Thanks to NetGalley for the digital ARC.

I wish I had this book when I was young - puberty, high school, even college-age me would have benefitted. This is a must read for every teen (yes, even straight cis ones) and such a good reference to have on hand. CONSENT! SAFE SEX! COMMUNICATION!

Peppered in with anonymous questions from the authors’ nonprofit website Normalizers.org, It’s Totally Normal! features detailed explanations of puberty changes, relationship dynamics, and, yes, sex. Mehta handles every nuanced question with the deft of your favorite teacher and the empathy of your best friend. Ash chimes in with current slang and personal experiences, while demonstrating that Mehta’s love and supportive methods make for great, happy kids who are confident in their gender and sexuality exploration.

This is also a great guide for the parent who needs a refresher on puberty or a rundown on gender and sexuality. With an in-depth glossary (and throughout the text), Mehta clearly defines a whole range of terms: agender, allosexual, bisexual, genderqueer, omnisexual, trixic, to name a few. Acknowledging that some of these labels have decades-long histories and communities, while some are brand new and still forming, Mehta emphasizes that exploration and uncertainty are OKAY and PART OF THE PROCESS, when it comes to discovering your gender or sexuality.

Mehta dispels common myths related to hymens, body hair, orgasms and more. In a reassuring tone, she answers the most awkward questions (the ones you always wanted to ask) and draws back the veil of “taboo” around topics such as masturbation.

This is a book for everyone (I know adults who could use a refresher on safe sex), and Mehta makes it so easily accessible. In a light and easy conversational tone she still conveys the importance of the issues at hand. My only hope is that she returns to the book every five years or so to give an update on terminology and slang. I want to read more from this duo. My little queer heart goes out to them in thanks <3

WOW!! I wish this book was published when I was first going through puberty. When I was 12 my mother had bought an educational book about puberty and bodily changes. The book was super helpful and insightful though completely cis gendered and heterosexual. This left a lot of room for questions that I didn't feel comfortable looking for answers for because they seemed abnormal. This book so easily touches on so many topics that seemed completely out of reach when I was growing up. Topics such as masturbation and sex toys. I am such a firm believer in representation and this book does just that. This book is SO important and I believe everyone should read it, whether you identify as part of the LGBTQIA+ community or you want to educate yourself as an ally. Aside from LGBTQIA+ representation this book also represents POC, folks with disabilities, and bodies of all shapes and sizes. The writing of this book is so down to earth and easily received. Another important thing I want to mention is that this book talks about CONSENT!!! I feel like that is also something that wasn't talked about enough when I was first becoming sexually active.

I will be recommending this book to anyone and everyone!

**Thank you to NetGalley and Jessica Kingley Publishers for this ARC in exchange for an honest review**

Monica starts off by talking about puberty and what to expect, what's normal. and when you should consider talking to a doctor. There is a discussion about masturbation, and how it shows you what works for you so that you can explain to someone later on how you like it, as well as making sure to keep any toys you might use clean. I also like that she doesn't condone porn, but instead tries to suggest steamy shows or books, or even just audio. If you absolutely must engage with it, she recommends some sites that are more "ethical," made by women for women, and sites that depict a realistic view of sex.

She talks about virginity, and how it relates to purity culture. It does two things: shames people into not having sex until married, while at the same time pressures them into having sex when they aren't ready because nobody wants to be the uncool virgin prude. Also, the condition of your hymen does not determine if you've had sex or not to any doctor who looks. It can often be broken in childhood by other activities. Once you have determined you're ready for sex, Monica talks about what to expect the first time and how it should go.

Consent is one of the most important parts of sex. She references Planned Parenthood's acronym for it: FRIES - [F]reely given, [R]eversible, [I]nformed, [E]nthusiastic, [S]pecific. Consent cannot be given if someone is asleep, drunk, high, passed out, underage, or disabled in a way they can't understand. She also gives examples of what actions constitute rape and sexual assault, and what to do if it happens to you.

There is a section about how to have safe sex, STDs you could possibly get, birth control options and their effectiveness, and options if you do get pregnant.

She talks about different possibilities for gender outside the binary, such as agender, autigender, bigender, genderfluid, gender queer, intersex, nonbinary, etc. Never deadname someone or misgender them purposefully. Also, some people use neopronouns to breakaway from the binary. She discusses transitioning, binders, tucking, and surgery, including drawings of how a metoidioplasty, phalloplasty, and vaginoplasty are done.

There is talk about the LGBTQIA+ community, how to be an ally, gatekeeping, coming out. and intersectionality.

The book ends with a section on relationships and how love, conflict, sex, asexuality, and neurodivergence factor into them.

At the end of each chapter, she answers some questions from the Anonymous Sex Ed Questions Box from her website. Again, I like that she doesn't pretend to have all the answers or try to give advice outside her specialty, telling them instead to contact a doctor about certain things.

Also, throughout the book, any areas with a heart are supposed to be stories from Monica, but when you read them, many of them seem to be from other people. This might want to clarified in the beginning where it's mentioned what the heart means.

When I was in school, our sex ed consisted of one day where the girls and guys were split up and given a talk and shown a video about their specific parts and what to expect during upcoming puberty (think the opening scene from Big Mouth season 1, episode 1). There was no mention of the LGBTQIA+ community, asexuality, or any other forms of birth control besides maybe condoms. What I remember most is when the guys came back, they were all talking about how they wanted to go to Hawaii where they found out the age of consent is only 14 (or at least was at the time). I would have loved to have a book like this back then, to know that there is more than one way to be, and that if you don't want anything to do with sex, that's okay too! I'm glad that everything is becoming more inclusive and in depth to help kids understand themselves and make better, more informed choices about everything.

While the title implies this is a book for LGBTQIA teenagers (and it is) I think this book should be in every library that serves teenagers. This book provides great information in a nonjudgmental way. It is an easy and fast read with "anonymous sex ed questions box" and a ton of vocabulary. The authors do an amazing job of addressing topics of sex, relationships, virginity, puberty and so much more. I will be buying this book for our high school library.